I'm sorry about the wait, work has been crazy! For all of you sticking with it, thank you, I love you all. :)
Arizona's POV
"What do I do?" She asks Tim, who's sitting at her kitchen table, holding Teddy's hand.
"I...I don't know." He says quietly, and they all go silent, the shock still apparent on their faces.
"Do you want to see her?" Teddy asks quietly, and Arizona shakes her head, not even sure if she does.
"I think...I think I have to." Arizona finally says, and her best friend and brother both nod, understanding her perfectly.
"Her father is drug lord Carlos Torres, I can't believe that. The man is ruthless. And Callie was so... sweet." Teddy says, and Arizona narrows her eyes at her best friend.
"How do you know about him?"
"How do you not? He's all over the news. Does terrible things, but no one can ever prove it. People who testify against him turn up dead, or just disappear one day."
Despite the large amount of anger she's feeling, Arizona is suddenly extremely worried for Callie.
"I just.. I had no idea he was her father." Arizona commented.
"Did she ever actually talk about her father?" Tim asked, and Arizona sat back, thinking back to the conversation so many years ago.
"You always talk about your mom, but who was your dad?" Callie asked Arizona, both of them sprawled out on Arizona's bed.
"A deadbeat, I gather. I didn't see a whole lot of him. He bailed pretty early." Arizona admitted, smiling as Callie squeezed her hand comfortingly.
"Well, he's missing out." Callie replied, and Arizona grinned before kissing her girlfriend softly on the lips.
"What about you? You never talk about your dad either." Arizona asked softly, aware of the difficulty Callie had with talking about her past. Arizona found it a little easier, mainly because she'd learnt to trust Tim and her parents, which had taught her to trust more.
A conflicted look crossed Callie's face before she spoke, "He's a bad man."
Arizona looked at Callie intently, watching for a sign that she would say more, but she didn't.
"Remember when you told me my mom was good, under it all?"
Callie smiled, "Yes, because she was. My dad is different."
"How so?"
"Some people are good. Like you, you're good. Even if you drank too much or did the wrong kind of drugs, your heart would be good. My dad's heart isn't good. It's dark, and evil, and twisted."
It wasn't the words that made Arizona sad, it was the way that Callie's face changed as she said it, like she was terrified that perhaps she was dark and evil and twisted as well.
"You're good." Arizona whispered, and Callie's head snapped up and dark eyes locked onto her blue ones.
"What?"
"You're good." Arizona repeated, because Callie still looked like she didn't quite believe her. "You're warm, and kind, and good."
"You have to say that, you're my girlfriend." Callie commented, and Arizona giggled.
"True. But I wouldn't have asked you to be my girlfriend if you weren't kind and warm and compassionate."
"Are you sure? Because I'm like, super hot, so I think your judgement might have been clouded." Callie joked, winking at her girlfriend.
Arizona laughed and brought her hand up to cup a tanned cheek, "You are without a doubt, super hot, but I saw more than that."
Callie doesn't answer, just closes her eyes and smiles. And Arizona takes that as an invitation to lean in and kiss her again. Callie kisses back softly, and then she's leaning Arizona back so they're both lying down, and her tanned hands are tracing lazy patterns on Arizona's stomach, and Arizona feels like she might be a step away from spontaneous combustion.
"The door is open." Arizona mutters, and somehow, she's not sure, they both stop and sit up.
But Callie grins at her mischievously, and it's so sexy that it takes everything inside of Arizona not to pull her back down and lock that door forever.
"She said he was evil." Arizona recounts, and Teddy nods.
"Girl got something right!" Teddy comments, eliciting a look from Tim that she shakes off easily, "What, it's true!"
"I never pushed her to talk about it. I always figured eventually she'd come around. I figured we had our whole lives to talk about it." The last sentence was spoken quietly, as the weight of her new knowledge hit her like a freight train.
"I have to go get ready for work. I'm in at five am, and I need a shower." Teddy said, looking apologetic.
"No, no, go get ready. I'll be in at nine anyways. Lunch?" Arizona said, and Teddy nodded and pulled her in for a quick hug.
"Text me the details."
And then it was just them, just her and Tim, both looking frazzled and confused.
"I was so sure she was dead." Arizona whispered, and Tim wrapped a comforting arm around her.
"I know. Do you still love her?"
Arizona pauses, thinking, before answering, "Yes. No. I love Callie, 17 year old Callie. I will always love 17 year old Callie. But that woman up there is not 17 year old Callie. I don't know her. I think... Callie was kind of like the ideal relationship for me. Where we shared a similar past, and it was easy and comfortable. So when I miss Callie, I think I'm really just missing that kind of connection."
"I'd miss Teddy if she left."
Arizona laughs, "You guys have been together for twelve years, and you're married. I'd expect you to."
"So you're going to go talk to her?"
"I think so. I think I need an explanation, to finally move on, you know?"
"Yeah, same here, I think. Will that mean you'll stop being distant with Carly?"
Arizona groans, "Listen, I'm trying with her. Seriously."
"I know."
"It just... doesn't come easy."
Tim sighs, "Well, you don't let it."
Her brother has a valid point, she's been entirely dark ever since they started dating. She hasn't given her girlfriend a chance to see anything about her.
"When I get back, I'll try. I promise."
They stood like that in silence for a bit, and eventually Arizona sent him home. He had to get to work, and she needed time to be alone before work.
She turned on the shower, getting in and letting the hot water relax her. Then she started trying to piece the puzzle back together.
So Callie was the daughter of drug lord Carlos Torres. Her mother was a drug addict. Aria, she assumed, was also Carlos' daughter, although she could have had a different mother. Aria had died at sixteen, something to do with Carlos, that much she knew. Callie had run away at sixteen, the same age as her sister had been at her death. Then she'd spent a year with the Robbins', only to disappear for no reason whatsoever not long before her eighteenth birthday.
There was something she was missing, some kind of story, some kind of big puzzle piece.
Or was she just desperate to believe that Callie wouldn't just leave her?
She was torn in half. Half of her wanted to know what had happened, wanted to talk and figure it out. The other half wanted to scream and shout and walk away and move on. They were both pulling on her, both sides of her, both equally strong.
She didn't want her life torn apart. She'd just gotten to a decent place, in her professional life and even in her personal life.
She had great friends at her workplace, she was becoming a very reputable surgeon. Carly was an amazing, kind, generous woman. The kind of person everybody always adored because she was just so sweet. Eventually, she was sure she'd grow to love her, given time and energy.
She had the potential to be happy. Truly happy. Her life was shaping up. She only got sad one day out of the year, and that seemed like something she could handle. Going to see Callie was a risk, a gamble at her progress and happiness.
But here was the problem with Callie, it had always been the problem with Callie. Callie made her throw away her need for stability and dive headfirst into a storm. Callie made taking risks so worth it that she didn't even blink.
She hated pain. She avoided it like the plague. Ever since she'd been a kid, she'd pushed away pain. Hid pain, ignored pain. And she'd run from it. Not just metaphorically, but physically as well. Seeing Callie would hurt, no matter what was said. There was no version of the encounter that wouldn't hurt.
But she knew. From the moment she saw that grainy version of a Callie that was so grown up, she knew she'd go see her. She was sure Teddy and Timmy knew it too. It was just unfathomable that she would not go see Callie. If she didn't go, odds were she'd never see her again, and the idea of never getting an explanation, of dying and still never knowing, was too much to handle.
Which is why, after her shower, she found herself online looking up the details of the court hearing. The court hearing was at five in the afternoon, in Miami. She'd only ever make it if she got on the next flight out of Seattle by ten. And her shift started in forty minutes. She could call in sick, she had a lot of sick days piled up, because she never missed a days work. But if she bought a ticket, if she got on a plane and went to Miami, that was that. Her decision would be made.
She picked up the phone and dialed familiar numbers, praying that her best friend wouldn't be in surgery at the moment.
"Hello?"
"Hey Teds. Pick one, quick. Go to Miami or don't go to Miami?"
Silence, and then Teddy finally spoke, "You know you're going to go. And I've got a consult to get to."
"But what if there is no good reason for her leaving? What if I'm just... fishing for a reason to not be the girl who got broken up with through a letter."
"Arizona...even if there is a reason, are you sure that's enough?"
The thought stopped her dead in her tracks. She'd never thought of that. She'd always just been so focused on if there was or wasn't a reason, she'd never stopped to think of her reaction to a reason.
"Well, shit." Arizona said, sitting down on the couch and running her fingers through her hair.
"Not to be the bearer of bad thoughts or anything. But can you even forgive her?"
Could she? Even if she ever forgave her, would she ever trust Callie again? Probably not.
"I just want answers." Arizona finally says.
"Then go get them. We'll be here for you when you come back, you know that." Teddy says, and Arizona smiles on her end of the phone, touched by her best friends support.
"I love you. And tell my brother I love him too."
"Yeah, yeah. We know. Go get some answers. And if you need to, kick ass. I've taught you enough to take on a small army."
They hung up on that note, Arizona getting up the nerve to purchase her ticket. She calls Chief Webber minutes later, explaining a sudden illness that she can't seem to shake. He tells her not to worry, and to take two days off to recuperate.
Once work is sorted out, Arizona tosses random clothing into a small suitcase. It's fairly warm in Seattle, so she's sure Miami will be even warmer. Plus, she's not really sure what her "go visit my ex girlfriend from twelve years ago" outfit should be. Finally, she settles on various jeans and jean shorts, with plain t-shirts to go along with them.
The drive to the airport doesn't take long, and she groans as she envisions the cost of parking at the airport. But she doesn't want to involve anybody in this process. No one is going to know about all this other than Teddy and Tim. She tells Carly she's going to visit her mother, and doesn't miss the look in Carly's eyes that says she wishes she'd been asked to go. She makes a mental note to start being more open the second she gets back from her trip.
The flight feels endless. She has a drink halfway through, to soothe her nerves. She doesn't like flying to start, and the added nervousness of possibly seeing Callie is making her feel horrible. The closer they get to landing, the more her nerves turn into anger, and before she knows it, she's grabbing her baggage from baggage claim and she's ready to storm into that courthouse and stick Callie in a chocker hold.
She hails a taxi outside the airport, checking her watch to find she's just on time. The hearing should be starting any minute. She can't go inside during it, but afterwards she should be able to find her way inside to talk to Callie.
"Where to?" A bald, disinterested taxi cab driver asks her.
"Uhhh.." She riffles through her papers until she finds the one she's looking for, "The Dade County District Court."
The taxi drivers eyes shoot up and he smiles.
"Wanna see that asshole Torres put behind bars?" He says, with a certain venom in his voice, and Arizona wonders, for the millionth time, how she didn't know anything about Carlos.
"Something like that."
The driver doesn't ask any more questions, so Arizona leans back in her seat and closes her eyes. It feels like seconds tick by, but it also feels like years pass, simultaneously, before they pull up outside of a court building.
People are standing outside, holding signs, demanding everything from jail time to the death penalty for Carlos Torres. Arizona suddenly feels very out of place here. All of these people, their faces filled with rage, probably having lost people they loved desperately. She can see it in their eyes, the pain, the suffering. In a way, they look a lot like her. Except that her pain is different, the person she lost is inside that building. The people they've lost are gone, somewhere far away, and that's not something she can even imagine. She can't imagine living on a planet where Callie doesn't exist. Sure, over the years, she'd come to believe that maybe Callie was gone, but she'd never had to feel it. She'd never had it confirmed. So she'd never truly believed it, with all of her heart. And even if she never forgave Callie, even if this visit was pointless, she could get some comfort in the fact that the world was not without Calliope Torres. Even if right now, in this moment, she hated her guts.
She checked her watch. It would be hours before the hearing was over and she could find her way in to talk to Callie. She'd brought all kinds of identification, suspecting it wouldn't be easy to get to Callie.
She didn't know the area, so she decided to stand in the crowd, with a hundred other people, and listened to the madness around her.
Callies POV
The first hearing has just ended, and she's in the back room with her lawyer. There are policemen fronting all the entrances, making sure she makes it in and out without being harmed.
"It went well. With your testimonies over the course of today and tomorrow, and that of your cousin, we should be able to nail him. We have you both under the tightest security. You know as well as I do that once your father and your uncle are in prison, someone from the lower ranks will move up and take your father's place. And that person should have very little interest in you. So hopefully, you'll be safe once this is all over. But we will be treading lightly. We just need him in prison. His lawyer is good, one of the best. But I'm better." The lawyer states confidently, and Callie's shoulders relax at the good news.
Callie nods and sighs, letting out the stress and pressure of the day in a single breath. Of course, a lot of the decision making comes down to the judge and jury, but they're all being well protected to ensure a good, fair trial. They're interrupted by two swift knocks on the door, and one of her assigned home security guards steps in.
"Sorry to interrupt. You have a visitor. She's been scanned, she's clean."
Callie runs a hand through her hair and blinks tiredly. She can't imagine who'd be visiting her.
"I'll leave you to that. Tomorrow, same time. I'll e-mail you the important case notes. And if that's press related, no comment, remember?" Callie nods and Gerard, her lawyer, closes his briefcase and gives her a quick nod before exiting.
He closes the door behind him softly, and Callie takes a second to fix herself up. Her eyes look tired, and she feels worn, but thankfully, the news reporters haven't seen anything but a tired, worn woman. She's playing around with her blouse when she hears the door click open, and she takes a deep breath to compose herself.
"Turn around, Callie."
And no amount of breaths could ever help her from coming undone as the voice that's been playing nonstop in her dreams for the last twelve years fills her ears.
She turns slowly, in a daze, knowing she will never be ready for the moment their eyes meet. She'd expected that seeing Arizona again would make her cry, or smile, or something. But she just stands there, completely frozen. Once that passes, she can't help the gasp that falls from her lips or the way her hands come up to her mouth. She can't help the tears from welling up in her eyes. Arizona looks the same, but different all at once. Her hair is still soft and blonde, but she wears it long and straight. She's the same height as she was at seventeen, but her body is different. It's a woman's body, not a teenagers. Her eyes, gosh, those eyes, they're changed. Arizona's eyes had always been incredibly soft, and despite everything, Callie can still see that softness in there. But she's also dark and tired. Like someone who's struggling with two completely different versions of herself, unsure of who to be. Callie is overwhelmed with the urge to hug her, but she knows no good would come of that. Finally, when Callie speaks, her voice sounds quiet and meek.
"Arizona..." She whispers. It's a whisper that sounds like it belongs in a dream. And maybe it does. She wants to say more, but what can you really say after twelve years. There's so much she's missed out on. Where do you work? What's your job? Where do you live? Are you married? Do you have kids? How's Tim, how's Teddy?
But she doesn't really deserve any answers.
"I'm sorry." Is all Callie can really say, so she does. Arizona nods, like she knows, eyebrows knitting together as emotions flash across her face.
"I loved you so much, Calliope." Loved. If Callie's heart could break more, it did. And the use of her full name, the full name she had legally changed years ago, it still sounded so sweet coming from her lips. Even in the broken, pained way she spoke now.
In that moment, Callie would have given anything to take it all back.
"You were it for me." Arizona whispers, running her fingers through her straight blonde hair. She looks destroyed, beaten down. Like someone who's been through hell and back and no longer knows how to deal with it.
"I know." Is all Callie can manage to respond. Because it's the only truth. She knows. But she can't change it.
"Did you look for me?" It's a hushed whisper, but the silence in the room makes it perfectly audible. Callie doesn't answer, just bites her lip and blinks her teary eyes and watches Arizona do the same. She knows that even twelve years later, Arizona knows by her face that she didn't. She wants to gives excuses, she wants to explain to Arizona that she did it all for her. She wants to say that she's thought of no one else since the day she left. But the problem with words is that once you've betrayed someone, they lose all meaning. So they stand there, close enough that Callie can smell Arizona's shampoo. Closer than they've been in twelve years, but so unbelievably broken and separate and different it's hard to believe they were once so naively in love.
"I wanted to. Believe me when I tell you that. You have to believe me." It's a desperate plea, Callie knows. But it's all she's got. Because it's the truth.
"Believe you?" Arizona shouts, tears now falling down her pink cheeks. But the anger is quickly lost as pain and tears take over, and Arizona covers her eyes with her hand, breaking into a sob. It's the wrong move, it is one hundred percent wrong, and Callie knows it, but she can't help it. She closes that gap between them and hugs Arizona tightly. The top of the blondes head still rests comfortably under her chin. She waits, breathless, until the blonde wraps her arms around her and buries her nose in her neck. And then she lets it all go.
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Callie whispers, over and over again. Arizona slowly pulls away, pulling herself together. She sniffs and straightens up and steps back, and when she speaks her voice is cool, collected.
"I was young, but I wasn't naive. And I sunk to that floor helpless holding your letter. I didn't trust easily. And I have carried the pain of losing you around with me for twelve years. I've loved you every single moment of my life for twelve years. I searched for you. I searched for you for years. I did, Tim did, Teddy did, my parents did. There wasn't one night where I fell asleep and you weren't the last thing on my mind. You changed my world, you changed my world and you broke me apart and you exposed me, and I let you because I adored you. And you took that and you stomped on it. So you don't get to be sorry."
"Arizona, I loved you more than you'll ever know. I did not just walk out for no reason. A part of me died when I let you go. Do you know how hard it was to kiss you goodbye that last time, knowing very well it would be the last time? I wanted to remember every detail. I tried to remember detail! But memories are fickle and they fade and soon enough the details are gone! I can't even remember our last kiss, I just know it was over too soon."
Blue eyes soften with understanding, and then go ice cold, "At least you knew that kiss was the last."
It was like those words snapped Callie back into the present. A place where Arizona didn't belong. In a mess of trials and the witness protection program and eyes and ears watching. A dangerous world in which Arizona did not belong.
"You should go." Callie said, in a voice that felt like it didn't quite belong to her.
And she definitely wasn't prepared for the moment that Arizona turned around and walked away.
Arizona's POV
When she got out of the shower at her hotel, Tim and Teddy had already called her five times. Smiling, she dialed familiar numbers and waited for them to answer.
It was nearly seconds after the first ring that a breathless Teddy answered, "Hello?"
"Hey. What's up?"
She could almost see the look of exasperation across her best friends face, "Arizona Robbins, please tell me you did not just "what's up" casually, like you aren't in Miami rediscovering the one that got away, or whatever."
"Did you hear anything about the new house?"
She hears Tim in the background, followed by a grumbling Teddy, "You talk to her, she's being annoying."
Tim's hearty laugh makes her smile, "Hey sis. Stop pissing off my wife."
"But I do it so well."
Another laugh, "You do. So, what happened?"
"She told me to leave."
Silence, then a response, "Ouch."
"Well there was more stuff in between. I can't decide if my soul is crushed for eternity or if a weight has been lifted and I can love again."
"It's a fine line."
More silence lets Arizona know that her brother is deep in thought.
"What did she look like?" He finally asks, softly.
Arizona sighs and pictures the worn out, frazzled, cold woman that was the shell of the girl she once loved.
"Tired."
"Tired?"
"Yeah. Exhausted, like she's just...done."
They talk for an hour or so, on speakerphone so that Teddy can be included. Arizona recounts everything said, and they all take comfort in the fact that they have one another. Arizona is surprised that she's not curled up in bed crying, but thankfully if there's one thing she can do, it's bury feelings. She knows that when she's alone in bed, the day's events will hit her like a freight train.
A knock on Arizona's hotel room door forces her to hang up the phone, but she promises to call Tim and Teddy back in the morning before she gets on a plane home.
A second knock on the door, this one more insistent, has Arizona scrambling out of bed, phone in hand. She lifts onto her tippy toes and peeks out the peephole, taking in the raven hair and business suit on the other side. The person isn't facing her, but she knows who it is. How did Callie figure out where I was staying?
She throws open the door, ready to tell Callie to go home, because she's not in the mood for any more drama for the day, but is shocked when the face that greets her is not Callie's.
The face is similar, same dark skin, full lips, dark eyes. The hair is similar, but this woman looks lively and well groomed, where Callie looked tired and frazzled.
"Arizona Robbins?" A deep, firm and confident voice asks, and Arizona nods in confusion.
"Yes."
"My name is Detective Medina. I believe you know me as Aria Torres, I believe you know my sister. May I come in?"
It would have been an understatement to say her jaw hit the floor.
