A/N: How spot on was I when I mentioned a two-month long wait in between chapters? Should we be shooting for the third-month mark?

Anyway, my snail's pace aside, I'm really excited for all of you to read this - the reason will become apparent in no time, I promise. If you celebrate it, happy Easter, and if you don't, happy April. It was my birthday month and so I'm pretty excited about it, ha. x

P.S.: Thank you, Charlotte, for your tireless editing. You're the brightest star in the whole sky.

Disclaimer: I own 0 (zero) things.


Chapter Ten

Or

Merry-Go-Round / One of Those Nights


Christmas holidays passed as they usually did with turkey for Christmas dinner, Petunia's entertaining commentary and a drunk Uncle Walter shouting at the telly. They'd already been back at Hogwarts for a full week, and yet Lily's mind remained in Cokeworth. Or, at least, that's what she told herself.

In reality, the things she could not, for the love of anything, stop thinking about were things that had indeed happened over break, but not in her hometown. As usual, James Potter was the one stuck in her brain because he really was a confusing creature, wandering around with his lopsided grin and crooked glasses, strutting like he owned the bloody place.

She had met up with her friends on the twenty-third, and it had been inside a slightly chilly Leaky Cauldron that Mary had told them that she'd broken things off with Bertram.

"Oh, thank Merlin," Marlene had sighed, causing Lily to whack her on the arm. "I'm sorry, Mary. It's just that… well, he's a dick. And you deserve better."

"I know," replied Mary. She twizzled the yellow straw between her thumb and her forefinger and, looking down, she added "Took me long enough to realise, eh?"

"Getting out of a rubbish relationship is always hard, Mary. Please don't beat yourself up about it," assured Lily, placing a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder.

"Thank you, girls."

That had been sound advice. Solid, non-offensive, and supportive.

She should have quit while she was ahead.

"Besides," Lily added, staring out of the fogged up window, "you deserve someone who looks at you like you're the most important person in the whole room."

"Like you look at James?" asked Mary with a sad voice.

"That makes no sense, whatsoever," countered Lily. She remembered how fast her heart had been beating and the massive effort that she'd put into not turning completely red. "It's actually quite ridiculous, if you ask me-"

"Ah!" panted Marlene, a dangerous smirk on her lips. "It makes total sense, Lily."

And so it started. The insufferable merry-go-round of emotions that would not leave her alone.


By December twenty-seventh, Lily was well shot of being home. She loved her mother dearly, but her sister's presence, along with all the childhood memories, had made her short stay in Cokeworth a somewhat bittersweet affair.

Because it was such a small town, there wasn't really that much to do. Lily had never had that problem when she was younger, but now that her relationship with Petunia was stiffer than she'd like, and Snape wasn't an ally anymore, the only thing left for Lily to do in Cokeworth was to daydream.

It didn't take long for Lily to become bored of it. Because, really, what was there for her think about?

Certainly not school. It was the holidays! And, besides, thanks to her mother's incessant nit-picking, she'd already gotten through all of her homework. To be fair, Lily didn't mind it all that much. Throwing herself into her work, practically burying her head in essays, was the only way to keep Lily's mind out of places she didn't want it to go to.

Apart from her homework, it seemed as though not one topic was safe from Lily's tireless scrutiny. And, as it turns out, all the roads didn't lead to Rome, they led to James sodding Potter.

If only she could get out of the house. And with proper reason, too. One more pointless trip to the supermarket or the local stationery shop would be one too many.

It was after lunch when she heard an owl arrive at her house.

The bird was large and majestic looking, and she recognized it at once because it belonged to James Potter (of course it did), and Lily had gotten quite familiar with it over the summer.

The handwriting was messy and some things had been scribbled out but, in the end, the letter read:

"Deer Lily (yes, that was on purpose),

I hope you had a nice Christmas. Sirius ate all my pudding, which I wasn't surprised by, but it was still right annoying.

The boys and I are having a get together on New Year's Eve. I've spoken to Mary and Marlene, and Lizzy and Susan are coming too. You're the only one missing, so what do you say? Marlene will know how to get here.

I'll see you in a few days,

James."

It seemed there was someone looking out for her after all, Lily thought, smiling to herself as a real way out of the house presented itself to her.

If only she could ignore the way her stomach would (extremely annoyingly, might she had) do somersaults inside her body every time someone as much mentioned Quidditch. She wouldn't go as far as to say that she fancied him or anything, but… he was obnoxiously present. James Potter vexed her immensely and, yet, at the present time Lily couldn't help but feel insanely grateful for his existence.


She reached out to Marlene and, after a very lengthy phone call, discussing the logistics of the thing – and much, much more - they settled on taking the Knight Bus. To put it lightly, Lily wasn't pleased. It seemed as though the only thing she and her sister had in common was their ability to get carsick.

The three of them got to James Potter's house – although it looked more like a mansion – at nine in the evening. The sun had set long ago and, surprisingly, it wasn't that cold a night.

Despite the insufferable prat that lived inside, Lily had to admit that it was a lovely home. Although it was large, it didn't lack the distinct warmth that was so characteristic of smaller and cosier abodes. The moonlight shone bright above it, and the house itself was decorated to the brim, with lights strung all over the outside walls and a large wreath hanging on the door.

Marlene rang the doorbell and almost immediately the three of them were greeted by a short woman, with a round figure and a warm smile.

"Marlene! It's so lovely to see you again."

"You too, Mrs. Potter."

"And you must be Mary and Lily," Mrs. Potter added, her eyes glinting. "Oh, I'm sorry, come in."

"Thank you," replied Mary, smiling.

When Lily didn't say anything – her vision was a bit blurry and her head hadn't really stopped spinning yet – Mrs. Potter placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and asked, "Are you all right, dear? You look a bit ill."

"We took the Knight Bus," Marlene explained, reaching up to tighten her ponytail.

"Ah," said Mrs. Potter, nodding in understanding. "Come in, I'll get you some tea."

"Thank you," Lily finally croaked out.

"It's no trouble, honey," Mrs. Potter assured her, one hand on Lily's back. "You can have a little rest in the library."

Nearly thirty minutes had passed since they'd arrived and, despite feeling guilty that she hadn't greeted anyone else yet, Lily had to admit that she felt better. She suspected James' dad had something to do with it, and made a mental note to thank him later.

Lily's eyes drooped closed once more but, just before she fell back to sleep on the sofa, Lily noticed the all too familiar sound of James Potter's footsteps approaching.

"You look terrible," he stated.

"Thanks," Lily deadpanned, not even bothering to push the flyaways off her sweaty forehead. "I think your dad spiked my tea."

"It sounds like him," James nodded. "Are you feeling better though?"

"Yeah…"

"How were your holidays?" he asked, probably in a desperate attempt to avoid the awkward silences which he seemed to dread so much.

"Oh, fantastic," Lily snorted. "Presents, terrible weather and my horse of a sister, you know, the usual. Yours?"

"Pretty much the same, except, you know, minus the sister."

"Lucky," Lily responded dryly. After a moment of consideration, she shook her head and, scooting to one end of the couch, said, "That was rude, I'm sorry. Do you want to sit?"

James laughed in response and, after having properly settled down, he answered, "Well, I have Sirius, so who's really winning?"

"You, I assure you."

"The pair of you should elope, you know," suggested James, lifting his hand to mess up his hair, a habit of his Lily was becoming increasingly fond of. "It'd shock Hogwarts."

"Ah, yes," Lily closed her eyes, mostly because she was tired, but also so she wouldn't have to look at James' Adam's apple bobbing up and down while he spoke. "Evans and Black. The Mudblood-"

"Don't say that word," interrupted James, with his jaw clenched.

"Right. Sorry."

James scoffed. "For the love of Merlin, don't apologize, Evans."

"How's the party?" asked Lily, trying to diffuse the tension and, above all, to avoid looking at the young man sitting dangerously close to her.

"In full swing. You're definitely missing out."

"I don't know why you're here and not there, then."

"Because I'm a gentleman. Also, because Mum would have offed me if I hadn't come to check on you. And I was worried."

Aw.

"Well, you shouldn't be," she assured him. "I'm good. Really."

"Are you trying to get rid of me, Evans?" James joked.

"I actually wasn't, which is shocking, I know. I just feel guilty that you're here, stuck with me, instead of being back in there with your mates and girlfriend."

"Well… we're mates, right?"

"Yes," replied Lily, as though it was obvious (which it totally was, but she knew James' mind didn't always work the same as hers).

"Then I am with mates. Well, one mate. You. Because we're mates."

"Stop rambling, Potter. I'm fine."

"Come back to the party?" James pleaded. "Sirius is pissed that you haven't said hi to him yet."

"For Sirius, then," replied Lily, slowly slipping herself off the entirely-too-comfortable velvety sofa.

"This whole conversation made zero sense, Evans. I think Dad did put a little too much Calming Draught in your tea. It's making you loopy," said James, wearing one of his brightest smiles as the two of them made their way down the corridor.

"All the best conversations do, James."

Lily would never have noticed the way James had turned uncharacteristically quiet, had he not downright stopped in his tracks, staring at her like she'd grown two heads or something equally ridiculous.

"You called me James."

"I did," Lily nodded, as though he was mental – which, to be fair, he was a little.

"But you never call me James!"

"Well, you aren't usually this nice."

"Something to work on…"

"You could always make it your New Year's Resolution," she quipped.

"Right."

Lily waited for about half a second for him to keep walking – she'd never claimed to be patient – and, when James didn't budge, she finally asked, "Well, are you coming?"


The party itself was being held in the living room. Things didn't usually work out that way, as James' parents often had company over, but it seemed as though this year it was different – hence, the slightly more public get-together.

The living room was actually quite nice, large but still cosy. The fireplace was lit and the whole room felt warm and inviting. Sirius was sprawled over one of the sofas – the inconsiderate arse – with Remus graciously sitting on top of his calves. On the other couch, sat Peter, discussing something or the other with Elizabeth and Marlene, and on the armchair closest to the fire was Mary, expertly braiding Susan's hair.

"Hey!" greeted Susan from her spot on the carpeted floor, practically purring from the way Mary's fingers threaded so skilfully through her hair.

"Annnnd she returns!" said Marlene, opening up her arms and bowing.

"Yes, yes. I know how much you've all missed me. Though, I will say, I had expected a whole parade thrown in my honour. I feel like you've done me a disservice," said Lily, laughing.

"See? She's acting loopy."

"Shut up, Potter," bantered Lily, crossing her arms. "So, what did I miss?" she asked, lazily throwing herself on top of Marlene.

"Well, Peter's only had about two sips of Butterbeer but he's completely knackered already," teased Sirius.

"That's not true! Prongs is the lightweight here."

"I'm formally removing myself from this conversation," James interjected.

"Come on, don't be such a spoilsport, Potter!" cackled Lily. "Sit down, have a drink."

"I think I liked you better when you were sick," he replied, taking the pillow from behind Sirius' back and sitting next to his girlfriend.

For hours, the group was gathered on the multiple couches and armchairs, passing bottles of Butterbeer among each other and munching on Mrs. Potter's homemade treacle tarts. At one point during the evening, Peter had gone the kitchen to gather more snacks, and Mary had taken a quick phone call from her mother.

The end of 1976 came more suddenly than she would have liked and then, to Lily, everything appeared to be moving in slow motion. Just as she had once watched the grown-ups do at her house when she was a child, she watched her friends raise their glasses as they counted down the seconds until the new year.

Twelve. Mary, who wore on her lips the brightest smile Lily had seen in weeks.

Eleven. Marlene, looping one of her arms through Elizabeth's.

Ten. Remus and Peter, with their flushed cheeks and fluffy hair, looking the happiest she'd seen them look in a long while.

Nine. Sirius, with his hair perfectly tousled, not too much but just enough, letting out the loudest bark of laughter she'd heard in quite some time.

Eight. Susan, holding James' hand, the two of them looking like stars, lighting up the universe.

"Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one- Happy New Year!"

When the grandfather clock struck midnight and the lot of them finally clinked their raised glasses, one could hear Euphemia Potter's pleading for James to kiss the girl, for crying out loud!

Oh no, Lily thought. What terrible timing for such realisations.

She needed some fresh air.


(A few hours before)

"I'm nervous, James," Susan confessed, twirling a loose strand of hair around her finger as the pair made their way to James' front porch.

"Why is that?" he asked, tapping his left foot on the paving over and over.

"Meeting the parents," she replied, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, trust me, love, there's no need to worry. Dad's really not that intimidating and Mum stopped caring ages ago."

"Still! I want to make a good impression, you know?" she countered, smoothing her cream skirt. James assured her that she would be fine and, smiling brightly at her boyfriend, she thanked him with a peck on the cheek. "Distract me a little."

"Oh, okay. Hm…" started James, running one hand through his permanently messy mop of dark hair. "It's rubbish that we're almost back at school, isn't it? I still haven't even looked at all the homework McGee assigned us… I never really do though… The boys and I just do it all on the train ride back to Hogwarts. And now I'm rambling. If rambling is even a word…"

"I think you're more nervous than me, honey. Breathe," Susan pleaded, running a comforting hand up and down James' right arm. "Besides, personally, I'm really not looking forward to going back to school."

"Why not?"

"I'm failing History of Magic," Susan said, fiddling with the edge of her periwinkle knitted jumper. "Professor McGonagall's assigned me a tutor-"

"But that's good, right?" asked James, pulling Susan in for a one-armed hug.

"Not when said tutor is Bertha Jorkins, it's not."

James winced. "Ouch."

"Ouch sounds about right, yes."

"I could help you with it, you know."

"You don't even take that class anymore. I appreciate it, James, I really do, but you really mustn't worry about that. Failing a class is not the end of the world. Besides, it's her job as a Prefect to tutor other pupils in the first place. I'll just have to suck it up and deal with it."

"Sorry."

"Don't apologise, love. I'll just try not to get killed in the meantime."

"Jorkins is not going to kill you," said James, rolling his eyes.

A painful grimace stretched out across Susan's lips. "She might. If looks could kill, you know what they say…"

"On the bright side, though," started James, "it might actually be fun. You know how she is, she probably knows all the ancient gossip from back then. Like… that time Salazar Slytherin was so pissed that Godric Gryffindor had eaten his fruit salad that he ran away from the castle in his underwear."

"You're joking."

"Yes," James admitted. "But Jorkins won't joke around. She's a bit of a cow, but she knows things."

"You have a point, there," Susan conceded. "I feel much better about Charms, though. Lily promised she'd help me."

"Evans is tutoring?" asked James, painfully aware that his voice sounded one full octave too high.

"Yes… Is that a problem?"

"Of course not, she's brilliant. You'll be acing Flitwick's class in no time-"

Suddenly, the door opened.

"You must be Susan!" James' father exclaimed, hurrying the two of them inside. "James has told us so much about you."

"Please," James asked, looking gravely at Susan, "do not listen to a word my dad says."

"Relax, son. It's not like we're about to show her your baby pictures." Then, scratching his chin, Mr. Potter added, "Although your mother would like that, so let's keep that idea between the three of us, okay?"


(Midnight)

Lily had not been absent for fifteen minutes before she was graced, once again, with James Potter's presence. Why on Earth wouldn't the poor sod leave her alone?

Taking a swig of the bottle of his butterbeer, James said, "I've been thinking a lot."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," replied James, sitting down next to Lily on the front porch steps. "It's the new year, and so, I've been thinking… and I feel like I should apologize about Snape. And the whole thing that went down after the Defence O.W.L."

"You have apologized about that," Lily huffed into her overgrown fringe.

"Yeah, but you weren't really in a place to listen then, were you?"

"I guess not," she mumbled, looking down.

"Well, I'm sorry. I wasn't always the nicest."

"No, you weren't."

"You must have hated me a lot, huh?"

Lily stood quietly for a moment and, having closed her eyes in thought for what felt like an eternity, she replied.

"I never hated you."

Lily was usually a fan of the quiet but, at moments like these, where the only audible sounds were the wind and James Potter swallowing, far too close to her, she would have much preferred being inside the noisy living room. It was her fault for having left in the first place.

In two days they'd be back at school. In constant and close proximity.

She still hadn't decided how she felt about that.


(Second Term)

Lily hadn't really slept that night. Or the next night.

She'd tossed and turned in her bed, incessantly flipping her pillow until even the cool side had become uncomfortably warm. She opened the window, the icy gust that followed making her teeth chatter, but at least it was better than the fuggy heat she had been stewing in when it had been closed. Her mother had even come up to her bedroom at around four in the morning with a cup of tea and some headache medicine.

Petunia was ringing in the new year with Vernon's family, and she had never wanted her sister at her side as much as she did in this moment. To be able to speak to a non-biased third party would be… invaluable.

The least she could do was try to get off the god damn boat. James was with Susan and he really was happy, she could tell, and Susan deserved all the joy in the world… so who was she to get in the middle of that, to ruin it?

If only Mary had kept her mouth shut… then Lily could have continued living her life blissfully ignorant to her feelings… or at least keeping them firmly under control.

Lily couldn't say that she was all that surprised, though. It hadn't sneaked up on her, she had… tiptoed around it, stumbled upon it. It almost felt inevitable. And yet, Lily couldn't help but worry about how things would be the next day, once the lot of them took the train back to Hogwarts.

In all honesty, she'd rather be walking the plank.


A/N: Here it is! Please don't forget to tell me what you thought of it. I guess we'll see each other in July, uh? (My sense of humour is terrible, I'm so sorry that you have to put up with it. I really do mean well.) Should any question arise, I'm on tumblr at gxldentrio. x