Chapter 11

After the fight with Derek and her parents, Casey was a considerable mess. For the first time in her life, she had said exactly what was on her mind, without filtering it first. And look what happened. In tears, she threw anything she could get her hands on across the room. At last, she collapsed onto her bed, surrounded by shards of broken glass and other random objects strewn about. She was really going crazy, wasn't she? It was surprisingly enough that no one came to investigate the crashes coming from her bedroom, but it was absurd that she even resorted to such violent behavior in the first place. She was Casey MacDonald, harmless as a fly. Yet she knew as well as anyone that flies only have a 24-hour life span and that eventually, that part of her would have to die.

No, she scoffed to herself. That part of herself didn't die- she murdered it. Defiantly holding back a sob, Casey gently picked herself back up and glanced around the destroyed room. Two hours later, that very same room was left bare and she braved the stair with her suitcases in hand.

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Normally Derek had the easiest time tuning things out; after all, with so many siblings, he had a lot of practice. This time, however, no matter how hard he tried, Derek couldn't stifle the noise coming from Casey's room. He listened to her crying (although he knew she was trying hard not to), to the crashes, to the things bouncing off her walls and breaking. It hurt to know that he was the sole cause of her mental breakdown. Had he ever seen her act this way? No. When Casey was mad, she got even. When she was sad, she buried herself beneath her blankets and forgot about the world. But Casey never broke things or anything like that. Casey was the peacekeeper, and this was more than just a temper tantrum. So when she finally came downstairs a moment before dinner, luggage in tow, he knew that he had royally screwed up.

She didn't look at him.

"Casey…" she kept walking, her eyes set upon the door. "Where are you going?"

She didn't answer. "Come on, Case," he tried again, this time getting up from the couch, "Emily lives right down the block. You don't have to make it a big deal that you're going there. Besides, you're going to have to handle this eventually." Derek grabbed ahold of her wrist, gently turning her towards him. "We live together. You can't stay away forever."

Casey's eyes were empty of emotion, a numbing feature he often saw in his own eyes- not hers. Seeing her that way sunk his heart even deeper in guilt. "I'm not going to Emily's," her voice was like a zombie's, monotone and careful not to disrupt anyone in the dining room. "But I'm not staying here. It'll be easier for both of us if we're far away from each other." No, she told herself, don't cry. Derek said straight out that he wanted nothing to do with this.

"Derek!" Nora's voice floated though from the other room. "Dinnertime! Tell Casey."

"Yeah, just a minute," he called back without taking his eyes away from Casey. In hushed tones, he replied, "Then where are you staying? This is stupid and you know it."

"I'm going to my dad's," she answered matter-of-factly, tugging her wrist out of his grasp and fanning a sheet of paper in front of his face. "I have a one way ticket to New York that departs at 8:45 tonight and I don't know when I'll be back. Probably not for a few months." Derek gaped at her and scanned the sheet. "I need to clear my head."

"Casey, people who need to clear their heads go away for a weekend, not fly to another country for what may or may not be half a year!" Derek shoved the paper back into her hands and ran his fingers through his hair anxiously. "When's the last time you even talked to your dad? Do you even really know this guy?"

Casey sighed and looked Derek right in the eye. "I know that he won't be able to cause me any more pain than what's already been done here."

Derek had nothing to say to that. Guilt seared his whole body. He was making the girl he loved reach out to the person that he thought had hurt her the most- when actually, Derek now took that number one spot. He wanted to yell, to stroke her cheek, to apologize and to convince her to stay, to start all over. Yet he just stood there. Their earlier conversation replayed in his mind and had him rooted to the spot. He couldn't. If Casey was pregnant, then…his mind froze. He couldn't even imagine what would happen.

"Look Derek," she sighed at last, "you told me you can't do this." He averted his gaze, sure she could see right through him. "I'm going away…so you don't have to." She reached to turn the door handle, but Derek suddenly jumped in front of it.

"No! I meant I can't do this," he motioned to her stomach, "not that I can't do us. Casey, I love you and I don't want anything to change what we have, okay?"

Casey laughed sneeringly, and shook her head. "You know, that sounds really nice when you say it like that. But what happens if 'what we have' is a baby, Derek? Because that changes everything, no matter

what you say! Are you going to leave me once the truth comes out? About us? About what we did?"

Derek looked away. Casey closed her eyes. "That's what I thought."

"DINNER, DEREK!"

Casey picked up her suitcase and glanced back at the dining room door. "They're calling you. You better go." She turned the handle of the front door but Derek pounced and held it shut before she could get it open. "What are you-?" He swept in, his lips on hers, but this time fierce and angry. Casey dropped her luggage and shoved him away.

"Are you crazy?" she sputtered, "Someone could walk out any secon-" He cut her off and kissed her again, pinning her against the door. She lost herself in it for a moment, then turned her face away sharply. "This is definitely not the right time or place."

"Jesus, Casey, I just told you I loved you!" Derek hissed, throwing up his hands. "Don't you have any idea what that means? I've never said that to any girl- ever. Ever in my life. And for you to brush it off like I said it to make you feel bad- it's like, fuck it!"

"Kind of like how you brushed me off when I told you I could be pregnant? Yeah. Hurts, doesn't it? It hurts when you need someone the most and they just think they can walk out of your life." Casey rolled her eyes. "Well I'm an expert at it by now. You, on the other hand, should get used to it. Because it never stops." She could feel her eyes welling up and wiped them carelessly with her sleeve.

Derek's anger dissipated as he watched Casey's transformation from strong to broken. "I'm sorry," he murmured at last, surprised when she let herself be taken into his arms. He kissed the top of her head as she snuggled closer to him, her tears falling freely. "I want you and only you. If it turns out that you are…you know. Then we'll figure it out. We have options other than adoption, Case." He felt her stiffen slightly. "We'll talk about it later. Just say you'll stay. Say you'll stay here with me."

Casey looked up and kissed him on the lips gently. "I'll stay."

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Author's Note:

Sorry about the HUGE delay, guys! I lost interest for awhile but I'm back in action, so get ready for a whole ton of dasey drama once again ;)