lovesong

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Harry and Ginny's wedding was moved up by three months. No one questioned why Ginny couldn't fit into her dress and had to get last minute alterations, or why Molly was putting a crib up at the newlyweds new house. They didn't question why the wedding list went from over a hundred to a handful of about fifty or why it wasn't broadcast to the world like it was going to be. Instead, it was a small and intimate affair despite the circumstances.

She smiled at Harry and he winked at her as Ginny walked down the aisle. She had already had the best friend talk with him before the wedding and now he stood confidently. Hermione was waving a fan in her face from the front row to fend off the heat, and she was sneaking glances at a boy named Henry who was eyeing her from across the aisle. Ron was two seats away from her with some new blonde, and Arthur sat a little too close with his arm brushing hers. The heat of the outdoors was almost unbearable in these conditions.

The service seemed to last forever, and when it was finally over and she could head to the reception she was almost positive her back was drenched in sweat. Tilting her head back she downed the first glass of alcohol that she could get her hands on and then immediately picked up another glass. She could see the twins across the floor. They were watching her from over the heads of Angela Johnson and some girl from Ravenclaw. She tipped her glass to them before gulping that one down as well and slamming it on the table.

Hermione took up residence at a secluded table in the back. She hadn't talked to many of these people in years and all they seemed to want to talk about was how she was doing and what her future plans and goals were. She wanted to just stomp on their foot and scream. She was tired of all the small talk and a headache was beginning to form. Rubbing at her temple she glanced around the room and noticed that a shaggy blonde from the service was making his way toward her.

Henry had that smile of someone who knew what he wanted and got it, and in the pit of her stomach she knew that something was her. She wasn't quite the best dressed, but she looked nice. She was wearing a dress that she didn't quite fill out and her hair was piled on her head. Wasn't this what weddings were about though? Despite how you looked. The one night stands and the alcohol. It sounded reasonable to her. When he finally reached her she stood and without talking joined him on the dance floor.

Henry's flat was small compared to the one she shared with the twins. It had one bedroom and a small kitchen. Instead of being surrounded by shops, it was surrounded by flats filled with other witches and wizards. Hermione glanced around the room tipsily and giggled when he pressed a kiss to her neck and had a hand on the zipper of the navy dress.

As clothes fell to the floor and sloppy kisses were exchanged, she knew that this was nothing like it was with Ron. Henry hadn't seen the things that she and the others had. He didn't have the look of war in his eyes and he didn't treat her like she could die at any moment. She was not someone who was scarred and broken. She was just a pretty girl that he had found at a wedding and wanted to hook up with, and he was just a handsome guy that she would hook up with again three more times over the course of the month.

She and Henry weren't in any sort of relationship. She went to his flat on nights when they were both lonely and treated each other like they were the only people in the world. It was a relationship without attachments. There were no strings, and no one was there to tell her that she was wrong for what she was doing. They were just two twenty year olds who wanted nothing more than a warm body to sleep next to and to feel like someone cared.

The emptiness inside her was still there, but it was getting smaller.

She found out that Henry had been in Ravenclaw. His parents had pulled him out of the country during the war and he had just come back last year, which explained why he would never understand or notice the darkness in her eyes or the fact that she had killed people. The beautiful part of the whole situation was that he didn't need to know. He didn't want to know! They were just helping each other out and she didn't find anything wrong with it.

Slipping her shoes off as she entered the flat above the joke shop she wiped the mascara from under her eyes when she stopped in the bathroom. She caught a glimpse of red in the mirror and turned to see the twins standing in the doorframe staring at her. "Long night?" Fred raised an eyebrow at her and her cheeks felt flush as she narrowed her eyes at them.

"Not exactly. I went for a walk." George rolled his eyes.

"We aren't stupid Hermione. We know exactly what you have been doing." Hermione glanced at them with narrowed brown eyes too tired to fight.

"Alright."

"We want you moved out by the end of the week."

"What?" The pitch of her voice raised a bit as she glanced between the two of them.

"This just isn't working out anymore." She felt like she had been punched in the stomach. She kept telling herself that she was in a bad dream. She had nowhere to go. Resting her head against the pillow she cried. She cried because she didn't know who this person that she had become was. She cried because she was thinking of all the scars and the binges and the times that she felt repulsed at being with Ron. Hermione Granger was not this person. She was not weak.

"You are weak." She said into the darkness of her bedroom. "You can't even sleep without the use of potions." Pushing herself up she picked the potion bottle up from the bedside table and threw it at the wall watching the clear vile shatter and it's purple contents seep down the wall and across the floor. She ripped the blankets from the bed and tossed those as well. Her hands shaking as she pounded a fist into the wall. She couldn't bring herself to stop sobbing and shrieking as the twins pulled her away from the wall and held her.

"Hermione. You need help." She was tired of hearing them say that. She was tired of them treating her like she was crazy. They hadn't seen things that she had. They didn't have to cut a witches wand arm off or try to sew someones head back up when it was gushing blood. They didn't have to hear people scream as they bled to death or identify cold bodies. They didn't understand. When she closed her eyes all she could see was their lifeless eyes.

"You don't get to say that!" She screamed as she pounded against Fred's chest while George held her from behind. "I don't need help!"

What felt like forever later and she was finally tired. She sunk in George's arms and he lowered himself and her to the ground cradling her as she quieted. Even the tears wouldn't fall. She was so tired and she just wanted to sleep and never wake up. "When does it all go away?"