Chapter 11
AN: i sed stup flaming up mundanez! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend alec 4 hleping me!
"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her to fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Maryse chased after me but she had to stop when I went into my room cause she would look like a perv that way.
Anyway, I started crying tears of angel blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Champagne Enema song at full volume. I grabbed a stele and almost drew a rune on my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub. I put on a black low-cut shirt with matching pants sandly. I put black boots with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Hodg was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Luucin was masticating! They were sitting on their vampire motorcycles.
"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Lawn Chair Crisis on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.
"Av Aque Vale!" he yelled at Hodge and Luucin pointing his othambe. I took my seraph blade and stabbed Hodge and Luucin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Mayrse ran in. "Ebony, it had been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she shouted looking at Hodge and Luucin and then she waved her athame and suddenly…
Margnus ran outside with his vampire motorcycle and said everyone we need to talk.
"What do you know, Margnus? You're just a little Institute student!"
"I MAY BE AN INSTITUTE STUDENT…." Margunus paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"
"This cannot be." Hodg said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Mayrse's athame stabbed him. "There must be other factors."
"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.
Luucin held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"
I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.
"Why are you doing this?" Luucin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his cloak.
And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.
"BECAUSE...BECAUSE…." Margus said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his hand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a hunter version of a song by Mojo Pie.
"Because you're a hunter?" Hodg asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.
"Because I LOVE HER!"
Actual person here transcribing this monstrosity into the Mortal Instruments series, hello there. Just want to say how thankful I am to my 10th grade English teacher who told us that masticating just means chewing. Like Imagine Luke outside a window on a motorcycle, just like eating a burger at someone who just angrily took a bath, who then proceeded to put on a towel even though they already said they got dressed. This series is sometimes too much y'all
Also, this story is all of a sudden the second part of a series. The first part is a translation page, decoding most if not all of the ridiculousness i swapped out to make this story fit into the world of Cassandra Clare.
