-The Heroes Parody Project-
Author Note: Hello, so I made another website for the fic. I tried that a few months ago and it kinda bombed because it was on yahoo and it was really limited for me. So I'm using Myspace because it's free and I can do more with it. So check it out and let me know what you think!
/heroespp
Warning: There are a few spoilers! Make sure you are completely caught up with the show so…you….won't be spoiled!
Hiro: Heroes is copyright of NBC, Tim Kring and friends! All characters, events, locations, and powers belong to them! Any similarities between any actual people living or dead is completely coincidental. Reader discretion is advised…..
Ando: Are you done yet?
Hiro (sitting in a Carnival Dunk Tank): Don't do it, Ando! I will so not invite you to my birthday party!
Ando: You haven't answered my question.
Hiro: Oh, sorry….I was done….
Ando throws the ball, hitting the target.
Hiro: AHHHH!! (Splooosh!)……Help! I can't swim!
Ando: I'll take that teddy bear now…..
Hiro: Previously…On Heroes…blub…blub…blub…
Sylar gets food poisoning, sues the Bennets, and is now under constant Claire watch.
Claire: You'll never get away with this!
Sylar: Oh…but I will, Claire……Music!
Peter bangs down on the pipe organ. (Duhn! Duuuuuuhn!)
Sylar: Mwahahahahahahahahah!
Claire: Geez….
Noah's great great great great….whatever succumbs to arrow poisoning. Noah ceases to exist.
Mohinder: None of us were affected…..
Mohinder flips through some of the pages of Reginald's journal.
Matt: I can give you an option….3 of these bottles contain helpful abilities….3 of them….not so helpful.
Mohinder's newly temporary abilities allows him to rip through the castle security. Hiro saves Reginald and history is restored.
Hiro: What the?!
Hiro spots the King who was killed during all the havoc…..and he looks just like Hiro.
Hiro: Impossible!
Guard: The King is dead…..this must be his identical twin….he's next in line.
---
Matt Parkman
Mohinder's Apartment
In The Hallway Of Inevitable Collisions
Matt is walking down the hall back to the apartment carrying groceries. He turns the corner and collides into a young kid.
Matt: OOF!....Oh, hey man, sorry about that…..
Kid: Fool!......
He grabs the Twix that fell out of the bag and ran off.
Matt: HEY! That was my Twix, punk………Man, that was the best part…….well, these groceries are ruined now.
Matt throws the bag of groceries into the trash and heads into the apartment.
Niki (with a cold): Ugggh….finally, you're back……did you get that medicine?
Matt: Uh…..
Niki: …..
Matt: uhhhh……
Niki: ……
Matt: ….they…..were……out…..?
Niki: …….
Matt: …….perhaps?
Niki: ……something made you upset and you threw the entire bag of groceries away, didn't you?
Matt: ………no….
Niki: …….
Matt: ……perhaps?
Niki: Ugh! I'll go check in the outside trash….idiot!
Niki storms out while Matt walks into Micah's room.
Niki (digging through the trash): I give him one simple task and can he do it..nooo…..that's all I needed, some medicine……the only thing Matt keeps around is Flintstone Vitamins….and he doesn't even use those right!
---
Matt is playing with the different Flintstone Vitamins in another episode of 'Flintstone Soap Opera Theatre'…
Matt (as Fred): Yabba, Dabba, Doo! I'm off from work!
Matt walks Fred over to where Barney is.
Matt (Barney): Uh oh!
Matt (Fred): Barney, My Pebbles!
Matt (Wilma): Fred! What are you doing home so soon! This isn't what it looks like!
Matt (Fred): Barney, My wife!
Niki: Will you shut the hell up!?
Matt: Niki, I have to see if Fred and Wilma are going to make up! Can't you see their marriage is on the rocks!?....Get it?....On The Rocks! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Niki: God, I hate you…..
---
Matt is looming over Micah who is on the computer.
Matt: Hey, sport! What's happenin?
Micah: Oh, hey Matt……I'm just messing around with this new game I picked up, 'Dungeon Slayer 4'. I'm not very good at it.
Matt: Dungeon Slayer?
Micah: Yeah……
Matt: How do you 'slay' a dungeon?
Micah shrugs.
A skeleton pops up and kills Micah's character, on the screen….
CHAPTER ELEVEN: GAME OVER
Micah: Yeah, not good at all.
Matt: And what is this…..? (He picks up a helmet of some sort)
Micah: Oh, that came with the game but I don't like it very much. It's kinda like a Virtual Reality thing, but it hurts my eyes. I don't mind just staring at the screen.
Matt: Ah……(devilish smirk)…...Can I try it?
Micah: Sure! I'm not making any progress.
Matt: Yay!
Matt puts the helmet on as Micah is typing some stuff on the computer.
Micah: Okay, you should be connected…..now.
Matt: Uh huh…….whoa……
= = = = = = = = =LOADING= = = = = = = = = =
Matt is walking through a mystical forest.
Matt: Sword, check……..shield, check……..tunic….little too tight……but that's all good!
Micah: How is everything? You feel allright?
Matt: My eyeballs hurt….
Micah: Oh, that's normal……now, make your way through the forest, defeat the dragon, get the crystal, and try not to die.
Matt: Sounds easy enough….
Micah is monitoring Matt's progress when an envelope is flashing on the screen. Micah clicks on it. A video message appears from his arch rival, Wilbur Stevens.
Wilbur: Hello, peasant!
Micah: Oh no……..
Wilbur: I hope you are enjoying your silly little game, Micah.
Micah: I was….
Wilbur: I just hope you are prepared for what I have in store for you…..a little game I made up.
Micah: Huh?
Wilbur: I have released a virus through cyberspace that has a target lock on every video game on earth.
Micah: That seems kinda unlikely.
Wilbur: You have to do what I say or I will activate it. The virus will destroy every piece of video game, from the past and any from the future.
Micah: That's not good…..
Wilbur: And your friend will die as well……
Micah watches Matt run for his life.
Matt: AHH! Bees! I hate bees!
Micah: Not good……
Wilbur: I will be back with my demands shortly…..ha, ha!....
Micah: I better think of something…….better activate my Eclipse screensaver while I wait….
---As the world turns and forms the Eclipse on Micah's screen.....This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down…crap…Heroes!---
A Cold Ridden Niki Sanders
Bennet Memorial Fake Hospital
Where we promise to have more love triangles than 'Grey's Anatomy', or you get a free physical!
Niki is walking down the hall, she is carrying some chicken noodle soup into Peter's room.
Peter: Ah, Niki! You're a life saver. Cough!
Niki: I hope you know I'm sick too! I shouldn't be your delivery girl!
Peter: Well, there was a reason why I wanted you to bring me my soup.
Peter hops out of bed.
Peter: Where are the crackers?
Niki (gritting): You didn't ask for crackers!
Peter: Aww…..well, this soup is ruined now!
Peter throws the bowl into the trash can.
Niki: GRRR!
Peter: Come over here…..Lock the door.
Niki: Uh….what is this about? (She locks the door)
Peter: ….I painted the future again.
Niki: And I'm supposed to care because…..
Peter: I had no one else to tell, so I want to tell you.
Niki: Still not understanding why me, but sure…..
Peter reaches under the bed and pulls out several portraits, Niki looks them over:
Hiro holding a sword, an army charging past him…
A woman with long, blonde hair being thrown out a window…
Matt holding up a torch to some wall paintings…
The Haitian tossing a book into a fireplace…
A pair of hands cupping some water from a river…
Claire holding a gun over someone…
A man walking down a hallway…
Peter: What do you think?
Niki: Riveting stuff….
Peter: AHH! What are you doing?!
Peter catches Niki going through his medicine cabinet.
Niki: Uh…….
Peter: Are you stealing my cough medicine?
Niki: Uh……….uh…….Perhaps?
Peter: HELP! HELP! MEDICINE THIEF!
Peter hops back out of bed and chases Niki out the door, they run past Claire who is using a step stool to crawl into the vent.
Claire: Heh, heh, heh….this plan is genius. I'll videotape Sylar all healthy and well and present it in court, then I'll be free and I won't have to take care of him anymore!
Claire climbs herself into the vent and shimmies over to where Sylar's room is.
Claire: There you are…….
Claire sets up the camera and presses record. Sylar gets out of bed and start doing jumping jacks.
Claire: P-E-R-F-E-C-T!!....This will win me the case for sure…..
Sandra (crawling up): Claire, what are you doing?
Claire: ACK!
Sandra: Well, I just wanted to show you Mr. Muggles new haircut!
She shows off Muggles and his new pigtails.
Claire: Yeesh!
Lyle: Mom! Do we have any more peanut butter?
Claire: Mom, Lyle…get out of here!
Sandra: Did you check the basement.
Lyle: Oh no, I didn't….
Peter: Hello everyone, I have a complaint.
Claire: Come on, get out of here…..
Sandra: What's wrong, Peter?
Peter: We have a thief amongst us! She stole my medicine.
Peter shows them a picture of Niki, drunk, dancing with a lampshade on her head.
Claire: Are those the only pictures you have of people? Completely wasted?
Peter: Why yes……
Claire: Ugh…..
Noah: What's going on in here?
Claire: Okay, its getting extremely packed!
Noah: Claire, I thought you said you cleaned out this vent! You're grounded forever!
Elle: Ooh! Air duct party!
Claire bangs her head on the side of the duct.
Elle: Air duct…..videotape…..a room below…..Claire, you little minx, are you videotaping someone? How naughty!......Let's see who you are….EWW! SYLAR!? Claire, what the hell is wrong with you!?
Claire: This cannot end soon enough……
A loud snap is heard.
Claire: Uh……uh…..
Meanwhile, Sylar is jazzercising to the tv.
Sylar: And one…..and two……and ow…..that burns……the pain……it sucks……
Tv Trainer: Feel the burn!
Sylar: Oh, shut up!
Another loud creeking is heard.
Sylar: What the….
The air duct collapses in the middle of the room, the giant section along with tons of debris, lands on Sylar.
Claire: That's not good.
Sylar: My legs! I'm going to have to double sue for damages!
Claire: CRAAAP!
Peter: So what's for dinner?
Sandra: Fried chicken.
Peter: Ahh…..I love it here….
Claire (grumbling): Grmrmprermemhaphmrph…..
Meanwhile, back in the videogame world.
Matt: WHAT?!?!?!
Micah: Matt, I haven't said anything yet.
Matt: I know, I just like being ready for the bad news.
Micah: So I have this rival, and he placed a virus through cyberspace that upon activation will destroy every videogame ever made, including future ones!
Matt: Go on….
Micah: This will kill you, because I can't just unhook you from the system cold turkey!
Matt: Go on….
Micah: Even my ability can't stop this, the virus is too strong. There is only one way we can win this game….
Matt: Go on….
Micah: There are 7 videogame worlds, in each one there is a precious artifact. If you can find them all and give them to Wilbur, my rival, he will admit defeat and you will be free.
Matt: Go on….
Micah: That's it.
Matt: Ah….but what if I fail…..
Micah: Videogames will be wiped off the planet forever, you will die, and all of humankind will plunge into a massive state of productivity.
Matt: This is worse than I thought!
Micah: So, we will be sending you to your first world….are you ready?
Matt: Let's do this!
Micah types some things and Matt is warped to the first world. Elsewhere…..Matt's hand reaches up from the inside of a green pipe. He pulls himself out and falls on the ground.
Matt: OOF!......Okay, this shouldn't be so bad.
Matt spots a chubby plumber running past him.
Matt: Hmm, a local…..time to get his attention…..
The plumber, Mario, stops to pick up a Mushroom.
Matt: Hey, pal! I know you!
Mario: Mama Mia!....You-a scare-a de crap outta me!
Matt: Where have you been!? I called for a Plumber to fix our toilet are you never showed up! It's been clogged up for weeks!
Molly opens the door to the bathroom and gets crushed by a tidal wave.
Molly: AHHHH!
Mario: What are you-a talking about?
Matt: Listen, I need to find this amulet, and YOU need to help me.
Mario: Amulet? There's-a nothing like dat here….
Matt: I see…..well, maybe a little torture will change your tune!
Matt pokes Mario in the stomach.
Mario: Tee Hee!.....Don't-a do that, you jerk!
Mario pokes Matt in the stomach.
Matt: Tee Hee! Ow! I think you bruised something important!
Mario (poked): Tee Hee!
Matt (poked): Tee Heee Hee!
Mario (poked): Tee Hee!
Matt (poked): Tee Heee Hee!
Micah: Matt, can we move this along….?
Matt: So, why are you here?
Mario: I have to-a save deh princess!
Matt: Princess, eh?
Mario: I mean, it's only the four trillionth time she's been kidnapped!
Matt: Sounds like Micah and Molly…
Micah: I CAN HEAR YOU!!
Matt: Oops……..Well, maybe if I save this princess she can release the amulet to me! Then we can finally get this plot rolling!
Mario: WHAT!? No! I save the princess!
Matt: Whatever, sister! Not if I beat you too it!
They both take off running.
Micah: -Groan-……
Back at the Bennet's, Claire is spying on Sylar again. He is writing in his diary.
Sylar: Dear Diary, I'm still living with the Bennet's. Man it sure is tough being me! I wish I had someone to share my problems with, someone to confide in. Someone I can tell anything to.
Claire: Anything, eh?.....Gasp!....I just got….an idea……the best idea ever!
Claire gets bathed in a bright, shining light.
Choir Angels: LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Sylar: HEY! Quiet it down, over there! Some people are trying to pour their hearts out over here!........Some people are so selfish…
Claire: Hmph….
Claire pulls the chain, turning off the light…
Choir Angels: LAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
Later, Claire goes back into Sylar's room, who has his leg in a cast.
Claire: I swear that cast wasn't on there when I was here earlier…..
Sylar: The pain just started flaring up….What do you want?
Claire: I wanted to talk to you…..girl to psychotic serial killer….
Sylar: I'm listening.
Claire sits down on the bed.
Claire: I just wanted to apologize for everything that's happened. In fact….I don't blame you suing my family.
Sylar: You don't?!
Claire: No…..in fact, I can understand….where you are coming from.
Sylar: You do?!
Claire: Yes…..I know you're misunderstood, trying to gain knowledge about your origins, and you have a crazy father with a strange power…
---
Sylar: So….you are my father….
Samson: I am……and you have a power…..it will be mine!
Samson begins to emit a long ear piercing whistle.
Sylar: ……uh…….
Samson is still continuing to whistle.
Sylar: ……hmm….
Samson changes it up a bit, altering the pitch of the whistling, to the point where it sounding like the theme from 'Peter and The Wolf'.
Sylar: Yeah…..I'm outta here…
Samson: Wait! I can do the theme to The Love Boat!
Sylar: Still outta here…..
Samson: Squander my talents, will you…..fool…..hmm…..(singing to himself)….The looove booaaat…soon we'll be making another run. The looove booaat, promises something for everyone. Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance!
---
Sylar: It's true, he was insane! (SOB)
Claire: I just wanted to tell you….that I am here for you.
Sylar: Wow….nobody has ever been there for me before…..It almost makes me feel bad how I'm faking all my illnesses to the judges so they'll make you take care of me as part of an elaborate ruse to get closer to you and take your power and achieve world…no…tri-state area domination!
Claire: Interesting….gotta go…..
Claire books it out of there, she pulls out a tape recorder.
Claire: Ah, Claire…another brilliant performance…..
Later, at the dinner table. Sylar is eating dinner along with the rest of the family. Claire struts in, beaming.
Sandra: Oh Claire, you're just in time for dinner.
Claire: In a second mom, but first….I have an announcement. It has come to my attention that our friend Sylar will be leaving us….
Sylar: Ha….I don't think so Claire, I'm still sick…..Cough!
Claire: Really….that's not what you told me…..For you see, people of the dinner table…..Sylar is faking everything and I have proof.
Claire places the tape recorder on the table. Sylar raises an eyebrow.
Claire: Have any last words?
Sylar: Yes……This fried chicken is delicious, Mrs. Bennet!
Mrs. Bennet: Why thank you, Sylar! It's the one day of the month I make real food….
Noah: It's true! Last week we had Spaghetti made from tennis shoe strings!
Lyle: And my cereal has been mysteriously replaced with Lincoln Logs.
Sandra: Well, excuse me for trying to get you to eat some fiber in the morning. (She pulls down a 'Superman' cereal box). Because 'Kal-El's Frosted Flakes' aren't cutting it, bub!
Lyle: Hmph!
Claire: ANYWAY!......This tape has the conversation Sylar and I had earlier, and he admitted everything! So what do you have to say to that, Sylar? The jig is up! The game is over! And I, for once, have finally won something! So listen to this!
She presses play on the recorder……to play Peter singing in the shower.
Peter (singing): Do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them over your shoulder like a Continental Solider, do you ears hang loooooow!
Claire dives for the tape and presses stop. Everyone in the room looks at Peter.
Peter: I sure am glad she stopped it right before I slipped on the bar of soap and fell on my head…..
Claire: …..(Staring daggers at Peter)
Peter: Claire…
Claire: DON'T!
Peter: Claire!
Claire: DON'T!
Peter: But, Claire I….
Claire: DON'T!
Peter: You're not even….
Claire: DON'T!
Peter: Can I at least…
Claire: DON'T!
Claire storms out of the room.
Peter: I feel horrible….I better go get me some ice cream….Then I'll feel better!
Peter leaves as everyone else in the room sits in awkward silence. Elle's hand presses play on the tape recorder.
Peter (tape, singing): I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want! So tell me what you want, what you really, really…(SLIP!)…AHHH!....(CLANG!)
Elle: I am so making that my ringtone….
Meanwhile…..
Matt and Mario are staring at the Evil King Bowser as he stands on the bridge over the pool of lava in front of the room where the Princess is.
Matt: Is that all he does is stand there?
Mario: No, he hops up and down and shoots fireballs.
Matt: Some people get the coolest powers….So what do we do?
Mario: Well, I would shoot fireballs back at him….but somebody ate my fire flower.
Matt: You shouldn't have let me put it on my garden salad….but for the record it was very delicious.
Mario: So, NOW….we have to hop over him and cut the line to the bridge, it will send him into the lava.
Matt: Then he's dead! YAY!
Mario: Well, until the next castle…
Matt: WHAT!?
Mario: He's in every castle!
Matt: WHAT?!
Mario: And the Princess will always be in another castle….
Matt: DOUBLE WHAT?!
Mario: Didn't you know that!?
Matt: Well, NO! Well this is just a waste of time….
Mario: Of course not! We beat him….we go to the next world.
Matt: I don't have time for that! It's only an hour long show and we can't interrupt the following programming……Micah, Who comes on after us? 'Chuck' or 'Medium'? I can never remember….
Micah buries his face in his hands.
Matt spots Bowser wearing something around his neck.
Matt: Gasp! The amulet!
Mario: How are you going to get it?
Matt: Just play along…..
Matt (in a high pitched, girly voice): Oh, Mario! Thank you for saving me…Princess Footstool!
Mario: TOADSTOOL!
Matt: Really?....I mean….(voice) Now we can run off and get married! Let me kiss you now you big hunk of man!
Mario (not impressed): Are you serious?
Matt: HEY! Don't be getting fresh, pal!
Mario: That's not what I meant!
Bowser is looming over them.
Bowser: What is going on here?
Matt: AHH!.....Uh…..hey…..
Bowser: And by the way, that was the WORST Princes Toadstool impression I have ever heard!
Matt: Well, excuse me!....
He spots the dangling amulet, ripping it off Bowser's neck.
Bowser: HEY!
Matt: My job is done! Gotta run!
Matt takes off, Bowser if ever so pissed….
Mario: I sure am glad I have a lot more lives on hand. Mama Mia!
Bowser (fire breath): FWOOOOOOOSH!
Matt: Micah! Look! I did something productive!
Micah: Good job, Matt! Only six more to go!
Matt: SIX!?....Oh man…..this is going to take forever!
Ando
In old time Japan
Serving under King Hiro…at least it's not King Ralph.....or King Richard from the earlier Volume…or The Burger King…or Stephen King…
Ando: So Hiro….you are now the King Of Japan.
Hiro: Yeah, I know!
Ando: How long do you plan on keeping this gig….?
Hiro: It shouldn't be too long, it's not really my thing….
Hiro claps his hands.
Hiro: Ha! Ha!....Yes, servants….more food! More wine! More exotic dancers!
Ando: Hiro, don't you think we should be heading home?
Hiro: Not now, Ando….I have a country to rule. Just sit back and enjoy the show.
Ando: Hmm…..
Meanwhile, Claire is in her Reality TV Booth Confessional.
-CLAIRE-
Claire: I just don't know what I'm going to do with Sylar. This is getting out of hand!...and the other people of the household aren't helping at all!
---
Elle (to Claire): If you got somethin to say. You need to say it in mah face!
Claire: Oh no you di-int!
Peter: You go, girlfriend!
Noah: Is the world really much better off now that I exist again?
Sandra: Probably…..(she takes another bite of her Kal-El's Frosted Flakes)
Lyle: HEY!! You're eating my cereal!
Sandra: The Kryptonite Sugar Crystals really give it a kick.
Lyle: Well, duh!
---
Claire: I don't know where I was going with that….but…get this….
Claire has her ear pressed up against the door hearing Sylar on the phone. She cracks the door open and watches him laugh. She bolts to the other phone and eavesdrops on the conversation.
Sylar (to Doctor Fake): Yes, so you will come by, "Doctor", and diagnose me with some bogus illness so I will have to stay longer than normal!
Doctor Fake: Sounds good to me!
Claire quietly puts the phone down.
Claire: He's going to have some doctor order him to stay longer!.....He totally ripped that off from the 'Peter and Elle are a married couple' plot from last week's episode….What a loser!....I must act fast….
Peter: You want me to do what?
Claire: Sylar is having a doctor come by here to check on him….I need YOU….to knock the doctor out and assume his identity. Prove Sylar's guilt, everyone is happy. THE END!!
Peter: I love happy endings!
Claire: Then hop to it! Time is of the essence!
The fake doctor knocks on the door Peter opens it and punches him in the face.
Peter: Claire is going to be so proud!.....
Later, Peter is walking into Sylar's room, with the fake mustache equipped of course….
Sylar: Okay, doctor. What do you have for me? Wink! Wink!
Peter: I'm afraid the virus is going to spread to your face…..we must act quickly.
Sylar: Say what?
Peter: I am going to inject you with this vaccine that will make you feel all better!
Peter pulls out a syringe with a 15 inch needle.
Sylar: GAH! Are you giving me an epidural?! That needle is freaking huge!
Peter (smirking): This won't be going in your back…….heh, heh, heh….
Sylar: AHHHHHH!!
Sylar jumps out the window from the second floor…..(SPLAT!)
Sylar: OW! My body……I broke everything!
Claire: Well, I should've seen that coming….
Back in The Game World, Famed Archeologist and Tomb Raider, Matthew Parkman Croft, is trying to find the lost treasure of Atlantis.
Matt walks up and grabs a torch, holding it up to some wall paintings.
Matt: These shorts are ever so tight! Who raids Tombs in these!?
Micah: The actual star of the game, Lara Croft…..I think she can pull them off better than you.
Matt: Whatever, I'm half the man she is!
Micah: Uh….nevermind..….
Matt: I can do this…..oooh! A health pack!
Matt bends down to pick it up (RIIIIIIPP!!)
Micah: UH…..let's just restart the level.
Matt: But I just got my flashlight!
Claire is sitting back at the table. Elle plops down next to her.
Elle: What's wrong, Claire?
Claire: I'm never going to get Sylar proven guilty. Everything I do, it blows up in my face! It's hopeless!
Elle: I have an idea!
Claire: Well, I've got nothing to lose….let's hear it.
Elle: You get Sylar to chase after you, and I'll take his picture. It will prove he's not sick and you'll have your Evidence A.
Claire: It's worth a shot…..Let's do it!
Claire comes waltzing into Sylar's room with a towel draped over her head, covered in blood.
Claire: OOOOOHHHHH……ow….ow…..the pain….
Sylar: What did you do?
Claire: I tripped and fell down…..
Sylar: That's it….
Claire: ….the stairs…..
Sylar: …..
Claire: Into….uh….Lyle's…..knife….collection?
Sylar: Seems reasonable.
Claire: And it sliced my head wide open….exposing my brain!
Sylar: Like it matters, you're going to heal up in like, 5 seconds!
Claire: But something's wrong…..it's taking longer….than normal….
Sylar: …..It is?
Claire: Yes……I hope…..nobody….takes advantage of this……(She collapses)
Sylar stands there as he spots the portion of her brain exposed. Sylar thinks to himself.
Sylar: Ho hum…..(He gently slides off the bed, creeping slowly toward Claire)
Sylar: So close…….
Claire hops back to her feet and runs to the door.
Claire: You're going to have to catch me first!
Sylar chases after her and down the hall. Elle has a camera ready….
Claire: ELLE! Take the picture! Take the picture!
20 minutes later after Claire loses him, Claire heals up and walks up to Elle.
Claire: Let me see the picture….
Elle: Here you go!
Claire: ………..Elle?
Elle: What's wrong?
Claire: What is this?
Elle: What are you talking about?
Claire: Elle, this isn't a camera, it's one of those stupid clicky View-Master toys!
Elle: And it shows the process of how a simple caterpillar turns into a butterfly….oooh…..(CLICK)…..ahhh…(CLICK)….purty….(CLICK)
Claire: I quit!
Meanwhile,
Micah: Matt, you are doing an awesome job. You almost have all the amulets!
Matt: Yeah, well it hasn't been easy!
---Mega Man World---
Dr. Light: Matt! Dr. Wily is going to destroy the earth!
Matt: Don't worry, I just took a shower. I'm ready for action!
Dr. Light: You did WHAT!?
Matt's suit rusts up.
---Pokemon World---
Ash: It's time to face off in ultimate Pokemon battle! Are you ready foe?
Matt: Let's do this!
Ash: I call 'Charizard!' (He throws down his poke-ball)
Matt: Go! Pikachu! (Matt slams his ball into the ground…WHACK!.....nothing happens).
Matt: Uh……(He opens the Pokeball, horrified)…..Can I get another one? I broke mine.
Judge: Fine, but this is the last time!
---Resident Evil World---
Jill: Matt! The zombies are multiplying! We have to destroy the T-Virus and bring peace to the earth! At least until the next game!
Matt: Leave it all to me…..
Jill: Are you sure you know what you're doing?
Matt: Jill, I've seen Shaun Of The Dead, like….a thousands times….I'm kind of an expert in this field..…..sheesh….
A zombie reaches through the window and grabs Jill.
Jill: AHHHHH! MATT! HELP!
Matt: Stop screaming, Jill….it will only lure them to us!.....Heh….Rookie…..
---
Micah: And now you are only two away and we win! Now, defeat Ganon, rescue Princess Zelda, and obtain the tri-force, along with the amulet, and get out of there!
Matt: ANOTHER kidnapped Princess!? Man, these girls sure are giving Royalty a bad name!
Ganon: I will destroy you, Matt! And with the tri-force power…I will destroy the world!!!
Matt: Eat boomerang!
Matt flings the boomerang.
Matt: EH!
It flops on the floor about a foot away from him.
Zelda: Uh…
Ganon: That was pathetic!
Matt: Can I get a do-over?
Ganon: NOOOO!
Matt: Well, somebody doesn't play nice…..
Matt flings his sword at Ganon, it hits him in the eye.
Ganon: AHHHHH!
Micah: That's not a ranged weapon! But it worked I guess.
Matt: Hurry Princess! We have to get out of here!
Zelda: We have to protect ourselves, he's shooting lasers at us!
Matt: Good idea!
Matt holds Zelda as a human shield and starts to book it.
Zelda: AHH! Not like that…..Grr….I liked the other guy better!
Back at Claire's….
Peter: Hey, Claire….I have an idea!
Claire: I don't want to hear it….Sylar is going to be living with us until the end of time.
Peter: No, it's actually a good idea!
Claire: -Sigh-…..What is it?
Peter: You can get Matt Parkman to…mentally force Sylar to confessing…….a little mind control fun…..
Claire: I could……You're right….I could! Good job, Peter, you get a cookie…..
Peter: Finally!
Later, Claire shows up at Mohinder's…..she knocks on the door, it slowly opens on it's own.
Claire: Hello?.....Dr. Suresh?......Matt?.........Niki?.......Hmm….
She walks into Micah's room.
Micah: Oh, hi Claire!
Claire: Hey, Micah….where is everybody?
Micah: I don't know…..well, Matt is in my game via Virtual Reality.
Claire: Good! I need to talk to him.
Micah: Can't yet…..you see my rival is threatening to destroy all videogames with a cyberspace virus….
Claire: That could plunge the world in a massive state of productivity! How awful!
Micah: Yeah! Well, in order to beat the virus…..Matt had to be placed into these games and collect 7 amulets from the different worlds. Then all would be saved!
Claire: You really think after Matt collects them all, this rival will give up just like that?
Micah: Of course not, I'm sure there's a plot twist lurking around the corner any minute….
Wilbur: I see that your Guinea Pig collected 6 of the amulets, Micah. Well done!
Micah: Yeah, so all we need is the seventh, and we win!
Wilbur: You fool! There is no seventh!
Wilbur pushes a button and the 6 amulets that Matt has collected disappear.
Matt: WHA!?
Micah: Oh no! What a plot twist!
Claire: I've only been here for 40 seconds and even I knew that was going to happen!
Wilbur: If you want to save the videogame world….you'll have to take me on….personally!.....
Wilbur puts on a helmet and he enters a battle arena with Matt.
Matt: Uh oh….
Wilbur draws a sword and takes a couple of swings at Matt.
Matt: That looks sharp! Micah, some help!?
Micah: Wait…..he wouldn't place himself in a game infected with the virus…..this must mean he's vulnerable!
Claire: Whatever…..
Micah mentally alters the game electronically. A machine gun appears next to Matt.
Matt: Thanks!
Matt picks it up and hurls it at Wilbur.
Micah and Claire exchange looks.
Micah: Uh….Let's try something different……
Micah re-programs the game…..Wilbur has Matt pinned down…the sword inches away from his throat.
Matt: This looks like the end of my adventures…..
A giant mechanical spider crawls up and pulls Wilbur away from Matt.
Wilbur: WHAT!? NO! This isn't possible!.....
Micah quickly types a few more things and jumps up to run over to Matt with the VR helmet still on. He disconnects it.
Matt: Whoa…..that was…..intense…..
Micah: How do you feel?
Matt: My eyeballs still hurt.
Micah: The day is saved! You made it out alive and Wilbur is no longer a problem! The videogame future can rest easy.
Claire: So….what happened to that kid?
Micah: How did you like the game?!
Matt: I must admit, it was pretty cool! But I think I'll take a break….maybe I'll try another game tomorrow.
Micah: Oh boy! There goes the neighborhood!
Matt and Micah: HAHAHAHAHAHAH!
They give each other a 'high five'!
-THE END-
Claire: Wait a damn minute! We're not done yet! I still need help with my story!
Matt: Oh yeah…..
Back at the Bennet's….
Claire: Okay, Matt. I need you to convince Sylar to confess that he's a big fakey fake fakerson! Can you do that?
Matt: Well, yeah….shouldn't be too hard…..like that one time….
---
Angela: I can't believe Nathan is dead…..Matt, I need you to convince Sylar to shape shift into Nathan.
Matt: Can do, Mrs. P!
Noah: You know, usually I forbid this but why can't we just use Claire's blood to bring Nathan back from the dead.
Angela: It won't work.
Noah: What are you talking about? Nathan got burnt to a crisp in the Kirby Plaza explosion….and did you forget it helped me when Mohinder shot me in the face!?
Angela: I don't remember that.
Matt: Neither do I.
Noah: Unbelievable…..
Angela: Besides…it doesn't work like that, Noah. Everybody only gets 'one'!
Noah: ONE!?
Angela: Yes, any injections after that won't take…..that's our story and we're sticking to it.
Noah: Oh, please…..
---
Claire: Well, that flashback just confused the hell out of me….
Matt: That's what they're there for….time to get to work.
Sylar, who is asleep….wakes up later….in a protected cell.
Sylar: What the?!
Sylar stares at Claire through bullet/ability proof glass.
Sylar: So…..you may have won this round, Claire…..
Claire: I did….go me!
Sylar: But you know….this isn't the end…..I always come back. I always get my revenge…..
Claire: I'll be waiting…..
Claire turns and walks down the hall through the double doors…..she walks back through…..
Claire: You could've told me that was the locker room…..
Sylar: …..
Claire walks off down to the other end of the hallway.
Elsewhere, Mohinder returns home for the first time in the chapter….he notices a kid sitting on his couch eating a Twix bar.
Mohinder: Oh….hello…..may I help you?
Kid: You can……we have a lot to discuss, Dr. Suresh.
Mohinder: Okay….what is it?
Kid: My father tried to 'audition' to be a part of your research….
Mohinder: Oh yeah, we had some bad ones come through….but that was forever ago….
Kid: Well, I don't like the fact that my dad got shot down….I demand you give him another chance….
Mohinder: Or what?
Kid: …..You don't want to make another trip to the past…try to fix history again, do you?
Mohinder (shoots a look): ….that was you?
Kid: Noah Bennet was just a warning…..I can be seconds away from cutting anybody's bloodline…..even yours…..
Mohinder: Uhh….
Kid: My dad will be by tomorrow….I expect positive results…..
The kid leaves the apartment, the door slowly closes shut….
To Be Continued…
