"Why are you saying this, Serena?" Dan asked bewildered.

"It's not permanent Dan, I just, I need some space to figure something's out." She whispered, unable to make eye contact with him. Truth is, the guilt of cheating on Dan has been eating at her ever since its happened. It was hard for her to get through dinner sitting across him; she could barely look up at him. She could do this to Dan, he was such a good guy… she's never met anyone like him. And the love and trust in his eyes made her feel so very small. She felt so horrible for doing what she did, that she knew one thing was for certain… she needed to figure things out without dragging Dan along. She was indulging her time with him not only because she wanted to spend time with him, but also, shamefully, a way to distract her from Nate. Which was so wrong. She couldn't use Dan like that, she cared for him too much. So she needed to take a break so she could clear things with Nate, settle that confusion and then come back to Dan completely clear.

"Why do you need to be away from me to figure this stuff out, does it have to do with us?" He asked, his eyes wide in surprise, one moment everything's okay, the next moment… she wants a break?

"No, I love you, I do. Please don't take this the wrong way, but it is me, and this is not a breakup because that would honestly break my heart. I want to be with you, but I need some space right now. Please, just respect that. And I will be back, just wait for me… please." Serena begged.

"It's not fair for you to leave me like this and ask me to wait around when I don't even know what's going on and what you need to figure out and why you need space."

Serena sighed, "You're right. I'm being selfish… I can't expect for you to wait for me. But I don't want to break up with you… I honestly just need a break… some space… just for a bit."

Dan sighed, "Oh man Serena, I don't know what's going on… but who am I kidding, of course I'll wait. Because you're worth it."

Serena smiled sadly, leaning forward to bring him into a warm embrace, "Thank you, Dan."

Honey why you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk right now.
Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay?
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud

Nate sat there with his head in his hands as he heard Blair barking orders downstairs of how things need to be planned for the birthday party she was throwing at her place for him on the weekend.

All he could think of was how he had Serena pressed against the wall in that passionate kiss earlier that night…. He was screwed up, he cheated on Blair with her best friend… again. Why did this keep happening? He felt like him and Blair were meant to be, they have been going out for years now, Blair has their whole life planned together. Yet, why can't he stay faithful to her… this is the second time he's cheated on her, and both times its been with her best friend… with his best friend. Why can't things just be as black and white as they use to be, why wouldn't this twisted little love triangle thing they have going, go away?

He felt his phone vibrate on the bed next to his leg and he picked it up to see Serena's name flashing on the screen. His eyes widened, he was surprised she was actually willing to talk about tonight rather then run… like she's done every other time in the past. He answered the call.

"Serena,"

"Hey Nate," He could hear from her voice that she was really upset, was she crying?

"Serena about what happened today-…"

"No, Nate I'm really sorry. That was all me, I'm the one who initiated that kiss, and I'm really sorry. I know I've been really hot and cold towards you and it's really confusing for you… and it's unfair." She whispered, her voice cracking, "I really messed up tonight, and now I don't know what to do. After last time, I feel like we should be honest, but I don't want to hurt Blair as badly as we did last time, and… Dan, it would crush him."

"I was thinking about it too, and Serena, I wonder… the fact that this kiss happened, and that night on the bar stool… there has to be a reason that we keep messing up… there has to be a reason why we can't stay away from each other. It's not normal for you to need to avoid me completely to avoid these mixed feelings we're having. If there is nothing between us, then it shouldn't matter if we're stuck in a room together for two days, there should be nothing to worry about because we love Blair and Dan, right?"

There was a silence at the other end for a moment, "I don't know what's going on Nate, I don't want to have these confusing feelings, I honestly wish we could be best friends like we were, because I miss having you in my life. But being in each other's life leads to things like tonight, which jeopardise our relationships." Serena whispered sadly, "And we can't just go with a hunch and ruin our relationships and friendships to give us a try, because if this is really just confusion and we really do belong with Dan and Blair, we won't get them back. Blair's my best friend, she will never trust me again, and they will never open up to us again."

"I know Serena, I understand that. Blair would never forgive either of us if I broke up with her to be with you. And I do love Blair… we've been together for so long… she's the only serious relationship I've ever had, and everything with her just makes…sense." Nate reasoned, and it was true, his relationship with Blair has been the only thing he's known. Everything in his life has been defined by it, Blair has already chosen the name of their kids! What if this thing with Serena is just a way to rebel against what feels like such a narrow path that has already been defined for him? What if he's only going against Blair now because he's so overwhelmed with the commitment Blair has made their relationship to be. Blair doesn't see anything less than forever, for them, and Serena represents freedom… what if this has less to do with love and more to do with wanting what he can't have?

Serena nodded on the other side of the phone, "I get that, because with Dan everything has fit so perfectly and he just… he makes a better person. I've never been serious like this with anyone, I've never been in a real relationship expect this… I don't want to lose that, but I can't help this attraction I have towards you… it hurts me to see you with Blair, Nate." She admitted vulnerably, and wished she hadn't said that as soon as it escaped her lips. She can't be this honest with him, she can't let him know how hard it is for her to see them together.

Nate smiled sadly, "I feel the same when I see you with Dan."

Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

Nate could hear Blair's footsteps coming up the stairs, "Look Serena, I want to meet you in twenty minutes at the Blue Bar at the Venue."

"Nate-…" Serena began to object.

"I'll see you soon," He answered before hanging up.

"Nate who were you talking to?" Blair asked, as she entered her room.

"Uh, I was on the phone with Chuck," Nathan answered quickly, "Listen I'm going to go grab my books from the other room and I'll see you tomorrow," He whispered, unable to look her in the eyes.

As soon as he quickly excused himself, Blair frowned, "What the…"

She spotted his phone on her bed and quickly glanced at the door before grabbing his phone and going to call history, Serena. Blair frowned, why would he lie about who he was talking to?

"Nate," Blair called, as she came down the stairs. Nate, who was about to get in the elevator, stopped and turned towards her.

"You forgot your phone," She said, as she passed him his phone, her eyes searching his. But he didn't say anything.

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

She watched as she the elevator closed behind him before quickly dialling a number on her phone, "Chuck, Nate just lied to me about being on the phone with Serena, why would he do that?"

Chuck smirked, "That limo ride that night was the best thing you've ever done for yourself. I told you, you don't belong with him, he's the perfect knight and Serena is the perfect princess. You belong with me." He replied cockily.

"Shut up Chuck, I didn't call to hear this crap. Nate, is my boyfriend. We are the perfect pair, you and Serena were our biggest mistakes in our relationship." She replied dryly, "Now I need your help. We need to find out what's really going on here, and if he is cheating on me with her again… I will destroy Serena."

Chuck laughed mockingly, "Here you are, hiding the fact that Serena's boyfriend might not be as faithful as she thinks he is, just to ensure that Serena isn't single and available for your boyfriend, isn't that kind of sad? And if they are getting it on behind your back, then it would be comical. You shouldn't need to hide things from your bestfriend just to keep your boyfriend… what kind of relationship is that? And Blair, the joke will be on you. It's taking you so much effort to keep them apart that if they're still together behind your back, you deserve it. You know they'll always have something for each other, just like you will always have something for me."

"Shut up Bass, I don't care what you think! I will keep them apart, because Nate belongs to me! Serena has always had everything, but Nate, Nate is the one thing I've always had over her, the one thing that's been just mine, I will not let her take him too, I won't!" Blair declared.

Chuck shook his head, "I knew it, it's always been more of a power thing… don't you see Blair, you don't really want to be with Nate as much as you don't want Serena to be with him. You know there's much more excitement and passion with us, yet you discard that because you don't want to leave Nate, just so Serena can't be with him."

Blair thought about it for a second, is he right? Is Nate, Serena's Chuck? The way Blair cant deny that there's always going to be an attraction between her and Chuck no matter how much she denies it, does Serena feel that same connection with Nate? A part of Blair knew that there were some truth in Chuck's words, but she ignored it… Nate is Blair's boyfriend, and that's that.

"So, you're not going to help me find out then? I would think you'd jump at the chance knowing that it could split me and Nate apart for you to take your chances at winning me over?" Blair asked with a raised brow, knowing she had him where she wanted him.

Chuck smirked, "Blair I know you too well, but there is some truth in what you're saying, and I bet a part of you wants the same thing… for you to be free for me. So, let me know what we got to do."

Blair nodded, "I will destroy Serena."

"Vanessa, look at me!" Dan exclaimed, as she pretended to busy herself in the book she had in her hands. She sat across the counter on the stool in his loft, and she was unwilling to accept what he had to say, "Vanessa, there is honestly nothing between us, I don't know why there's been a weird tension with us recently, and you keep pursuing something that doesn't exist. You and I were nothing but a childish love story. I love Serena, I haven't known love like this before. Why can't you see that? We don't have anything here for you to pursue. You are my best friend, and I don't want to lose that because you mess things up thinking we are something we're not. Please, understand when I say, I love you as a friend, and that's it!"

Dan didn't know why it bothered him so much that she thought there could be something else between them, it led to confusion because he did once really love Vanessa, and she had left him. So he feels like shes trying to reopen old scars because she's jealous of how he feels for Serena now, and after finding out that their on a break, Vanessa is more than convinced that he's meant to be with her and not Serena. They both know they are just friends, and he had once mistaken that for more, and had made things awkward between them. But now that he had moved on and finally felt how it was to love and be loved, she wants to mess this up for him. And he was not willing to let some confusion with Vanessa, mess up his relationship with Serena.

"Honestly Dan, you can't deny that there is passion here, I felt it that day we almost kissed, and I still feel it. By saying all the things you're saying, it seems like you're trying to convince yourself more than you're trying to convince me! This break from Serena is a good thing, because now we can-…"

"Vanessa, I need you to leave,"

"What?"

Dan opened the loft door, "Honestly, just leave."

Vanessa rolled her eyes, "One day you'll realize what I'm saying is right, and I hope it's not too late for us by then."

"Nate, why did you call me here?" Serena asked at the secluded area they were in, away from the typical upper east side venues.

"It's obvious, we need to meet in private, and not somewhere someone can see us together and post it on the stupid gossip girl website. We need to figure this out, whatever this is."

Serena sighed, "I know, but its not fair to drag our relationships through this, so I'm on a break with Dan right now because I need space for us to clear this out completely so I can be a better girlfriend to him."

"You're on a break with Dan?" Nate asked, maybe with a little too much happiness because Serena raised a brow at him.

"I just need space because the guilt of what happened is eating at me, and he's such a good guy I can't do this to him. But I do want to be with him, but only once we've cleared this out."

Nate nodded, sitting on the stool at the bar and ordering them drinks, "Serena sit for a bit."

Serena nodded as she took a seat beside him, "Nate… we need to figure out what this is." She whispered, putting her chin on her palms as her elbow rested on the counter.

"I think it's because we never got closure after that night…" He began, both reddening as they knew what night he was referring to, "And then you left, and we never got to actually talk about what happened that night and why it happened… and now its all those unsaid things that are coming back to haunt us."

Serena looked away, knowing that that was all her fault. She ran, she didn't face what happened because she couldn't handle it. She didn't want to face the consequences, she didn't want to know why she had just made love to her best friends boyfriend.

"Does Blair know you're here?" She whispered, even though she knew the answer.

Nate shook his head, "No." he answered, his eyes on hers.

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And, yes, I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue

"There is an unquestionable draw here," He whispered, his eyes trailing to her lips, "That night at the party where you were dancing with Dan… I don't know why that got to me the way it did. And I just had this feeling of needing to get away… from everything. I left Blair at the party, I bumped into you and needed to get away from you… I just… I don't know what had taken over me." He admitted, hesitantly.

She could see that this was hard for him, and she reached for his hand reassuringly, "Nate," she began, for some reason sharing her feelings have always been much harder for her. That's why she's always run away from messy situations, that's why she ran away that night, and that's why she's run away every time he tried to talk about them, but he was putting in a lot of effort to be honest so they could actually analyze their situation, and if she really did want to figure this out… she should too. But why was her mouth suddenly going dry and no words leaving her lips? Why was this so hard for her?

"Nate… I… it was hard… I just…" She began, not knowing how to start. Her feelings were so hard for her to understand, how could she explain them to anyone else?

"I feel… a draw to you. I... think about you a lot. I miss you… I honestly… don't know what to say, but I know what you're feeling is similar to the confusion I'm feeling, but I just… I can't explain it because I don't understand it myself." She admitted defeated, and it was funny that she was reassuring him, when she did such a crap job explaining anything herself.

He squeezed her hand gently, and she looked up to meet his eyes, "It's okay Serena, I don't expect you to have the answers, c'mon relax a little," He jokes, "Let's dance,"

"Where?" She asked laughing, looking around at the quiet bar.

He pointed across the bar to a the club, "Lets go!" He said, and when she was about to shake her head he pulled her up, "When did we turn into such depressing people? Do you remember when we used to be fun? Do we remember what fun is anymore?" He questioned with a grin, "It's always about feelings and emotion now-a-days, c'mon let's just be the old Serena and Nate for tonight."

Serena giggled, that contagiously cute signature Serena giggle that always makes Nate smile, "Alright, lets go," she answered, quickly downing her shot, "I missed the old us!"

They made their way across the road to the club and soon found their way to the new bar, and after downing a few more shots they were on the dance floor. They made funny gestures and stumbled around like they used to when they got drunk. it was fun not to have to deal with their present lives, and just be the old carefree them. They put the present behind them, and just acted like the drunken morons they used to. They laughed, they stumbled and they danced.

Serena smiled at Nate, it was so nice to be with him like this again, just having fun. Not being sad or hurt, or trying to hide… it was just… it was good.

Serena felt a drunk guy grab her arm from behind, before crushing her back against his chest, "Hey beautiful, want to dance?" He whispered in her ear slurred. It was the grossest feeling having his breath on her neck.

"No thanks," She replied coolly, as she began to move away, but he wrapped an arm around her waist, forcing her to stay against his chest.

Serena frowned, as she attempted to move his arm off her, but she didn't have to struggle for long because soon she heard Nate's voice, "What's your problem, let the girl go," He demanded.

Serena looked up to find an angry Nate glowering at the guy holding her.

The drunken guy laughed, "Yo, get out of here, I got her first."

"Let Her Go." Nate said between clenched teeth.

"Oh yeah, and what are you gonna do if I don't?" The guy demanded challengingly.

Nate grabbed the guys arm that was on Serena's waist and roughly pulled it off her to release her from his hold before angrily shoving the guy away.

Serena quickly pulled away from him and stood beside Nate, "Forget him, Nate," She insisted, trying to get Nate to walk away with her, but before she knew it they guy had retaliating, taking the beer bottle he had in his other arm and breaking it over Nate's head.

Serena screamed as Nate grabbed the side of his head wincing in pain.

The drunken guy, who could barely stand without stumbling stood across the now sobering Nate, "What the fuck-…"

But before he could finish, Nate had pulled back his arm and landed his fist right against the guys jaw with so much force that it instantly cause blood to spit from his mouth as he fell backwards to the ground, clutching his jaw in agony, "Don't ever touch her again," Nate yelled over the music, before taking Serena's hand and leading her away.

Serena stopped him right by the bar and took a look at the blood at the top right of his forehead, right at the hairline. It was a gash from the force of the bottle breaking over it, and Serena quickly grabbed a wet towel before pressing it gently against his forehead, "Nate," She whispered.

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

He smiled at her softly, shaking his head reassuringly, "It honestly doesn't hurt that bad," He promised as he took her hand and led her right outside where it wasn't so loud anymore.

She cleaned up his forehead and with a tissue before pressing the miniature towel against his cut again, "I'm so sorry," she whispered, it made her heart ache to see the cut on his head, especially knowing that it was because of her.

"Serena, he grabbed you, why are you sorry," he questioned, holding her other hand with his, "I hate seeing any other guy touch you, especially force himself on you like that, it makes my blood boil." He muttered angrily, looking back where the security was now assisting him out of the club and into a cab.

"That was really sweet of you to help me out Nate, thank you. And I wasn't scared, because I feel safe when you're around; I know no one can hurt me." She said with an honest smile, and she lowered to place a soft kiss against his cheek. Her lips lingered against his cheek for a moment, and he took this opportunity to turn his face and she place another soft kiss against the edge of his mouth. They both stayed like that, their lips lingering near each others, both trying hard to resist the temptation of locking lips again.

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Serena pulled away slowly, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, "Should we go get that cut checked out by a doctor?"

Nate shook his head, "No, firstly no doctor will be open at 3am in the morning and secondly, its honestly not that bad, I'll be okay."

"Well lets go, I'll walk you to your house and wait till you fall asleep, because if it hurts a lot at any time, I want to take you to emergency and get it checked out alright."

They walked towards his apartment, "No honestly Serena, it's really not bad, you don't need to stay with me, you can go home and sleep, don't worry about it, honestly!"

Serena shook her head, "You got that cut because of me, so now its my job to make sure you're okay," She insisted, "No more discussion!"

"Serena," Nate said seriously, as they got in front of his apartment.

"Nate." She said with a raised brow.

He sighed, as they took the elevator up to his apartment. When they got there, she gave him his sweats and a t-shirt, before closing the door behind her.

"Wait, why am I kicked out of my room?" He questioned from outside, as he changed into the clothes given to him.

She came out a moment later in a pair of his shorts and baggy t-shirt, "I had to find myself something more comfortable then my dress," She answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

He watched her awe-struck, how the hell was this girl so damn beautiful even in his clothes?

She grabbed him by his arm and led him to his bed, "Okay, now sleep. I'm going to sit right here and make sure you fall asleep comfortably and don't fall unconscious or something due to the head bruise. And I gotta make sure it doesn't get too painful or anything."

"You're not staying awake all night Serena," Nate insisted, "You're making this into a much bigger deal than it is… I've been hit by a beer bottle before… I'm still alive… its not like I got knifed or anything. There's a cut and a bruise, which will be fine with some ice. That's it!"

"Oh crap, gotta get ice then!" She said as she jumped up from her seat.

"That's all you got from that entire sentence!"

She came back with an ice pack and lifted his head before moving the pillow out of the way and sitting against the head board before resting his head on her lap. She put a little band aid on the cut, before wrapping the ice pack in a light cloth and pressing it gently against his forehead. He winced as she pressed it against his bruise, but the cool did help ease the pain. She smiled at him, "Okay now go to sleep Nate, I'll make sure we fix this right up. And honestly if you feel too light headed, or something seems off, don't hesitate to tell me!"

Nate just smiled at her, there was no point in trying to reason with her, and he enjoyed having her so close to him and tending to him, so he might as well just let her, "Okay I will," He agreed.

"Good, now sleep. Goodnight Natey," She whispered.

"Goodnight Serena," He whispered with a smile on his lips as he closed his eyes. He hasn't felt this happy in a long time now.

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

A/n a little more detailed look into everyone else's lives as well. and more cute NS