Emily was awake when Spencer came in this time. It was late afternoon, and Emily had been taken home a couple of hours before, fussed over by her anxious mother until she could stand no more and promptly told the woman to leave. She'd laid awake for several hours, considering her situation. With the raven watching over her, her constant dark guardian, she'd finished off the diary to give Spencer. Her fingers had developed raised red lumps after scribbling for that long, and she rubbed them absentmindedly.
While writing down absolute crap, the things she'd never thought true about Spencer, it had given her ample time to think. She did have a lot of time to do that now, true, but she'd never really given much of this time to think about Spencer. The things she wrote sparked thoughts and flashbacks in her mind. One particular sentence, repeated over and over again, chained her to a continual memory.
She tossed her hair in a loose ponytail to the side, glaring at the girl in the orange jumpsuit who miserably chucked rubbish into a black plastic sack. "Did you at least think about my idea?"
Spencer had her back to her, yet it was clear what she thought exactly about the idea. "It was a bad idea when they arrested us, it's a bad idea now." She said firmly.
Emily spread her arms wide in frustration. "We finally have something solid, why won't you use it?"
"Because you can't make a deal with a rattlesnake." Spencer reasoned, her temper beginning to simmer.
"You can!" Emily retorted. "If you have something the rattlesnake wants."
Their voices were beginning to escalate now. Hanna turned around, orange community service jacket open to reveal an expensive white boob tube top underneath. "Can we stop talking about snakes?" She asked.
Spencer turned around to face Emily. "Listen to me. We're not going to be making any kind of a deal with A. That's final." She snapped, barking the order.
Emily kept her glare up as she faced Spencer's back again. She took a breath, knowing the sentence she was about to say would hit the nail down into the coffin. "Maybe for you. But the rest of us don't have lawyers for parents."
Ooh, she'd done it now. Spencer whipped around, and it was Emily's turn to turn her back innocently. "Meaning what?" She snarled.
"Meaning your mom may have gotten us a deal, but if they ever find a way to charge us for killing Ali, she'll throw the rest of us under a bus to save you."
Aria and Hanna's eyes boggled. They had never seen Emily like this before. But Spencer didn't even act surprised. She simply picked up her rubbish bag, and threw it over Emily, a slimy mess of yoghurt past its sell-by date cascading over her. She was shocked enough to gasp.
Spencer watched her triumphantly, and the look didn't fade even as Emily grabbed her and attempted to tackle her, furious. Hanna blanched, Aria stood on worldlessly. The two girls grappled until Emily lashed out and kicked Spencer, hard, throwing her to the ground.
The other community service workers watched on, amused, as the police came charging towards the scene. By this time, Emily had Spencer pinned to the ground, despite her struggles. The police pulled her away, yelling and thrashing, and one guy took hold of Spencer's right arm and simply dragged her.
He underestimated the girl. As Aria finally moved into action and tried to come between the two, Spencer lunged for Emily again, only to be recaptured with a grunt by the police guy. "Whoa, Spencer, stop!" Aria yelled.
Spencer flailed in the guy's arms again, and still was hefted away like a sack of potatoes. Emily allowed herself to be dragged away, a smile of satisfaction on her face. This was exactly what A wanted, and she'd always prided herself on her acting.
That scene kept playing over and over in Emily's head for no reason. At first, she thought it was simply the scene that she associated with negative comments about Spencer. But later, something about the scene repeating itself unnerved her. Her stomach felt sick just thinking about it.
She pushed the thought out of her mind again, convinced the scene and the raven were linked. The more she thought about it, the sicker she felt inside. She was glad when Spencer arrived, but she didn't show it. She wore her usual surly expression and focused on her balefully.
But Spencer seemed too tired to notice. She came in, nodded a greeting to Emily, and sat down beside her bed, leaning back with a heavy sigh and closing her eyes. "Toby and I had a fight." She informed her.
Emily said nothing. Spencer continued. "He said someone gave him a picture of me and Wren kissing, which was dated from yesterday. I tried to deny it, but he wouldn't believe me. He trusted the person who gave it, apparently."
Taylor had known there was a right way to pull this off, and a wrong way. She wouldn't approach Toby directly. That would be way too suspicious, and if Toby became suspicious, this "A" person might release the picture. She knew what she had to do, and she pulled off the plan later that afternoon.
She'd seen a guy in her history class talking to Toby earlier, and by their animated body expressions and loud laughter, they must have been friends. His name was Rick. And, as luck would have it, he sat across from her. He seemed a relaxed, surfer, chilled kind of guy, who didn't answer too many questions in class, content to soak up the atmosphere. So when the teacher ordered the class to pair into groups, he appeared kind of honoured when Taylor turned to him, with a cute head tilt, and asked if she could go with him.
"Sure." He grinned, self-consciously, and made space for her on his desk, which she promptly dragged her chair over.
"Rick, right?" She asked, smiling big. "Nice to meet you."
Taylor had always been much more adept at talking to guys than she was at talking to girls. Guys were simpler. They wouldn't go behind your back, laugh at you meanly, create drama. When a guy didn't like someone, he exchanged a few punches with the guy, but that was that. Guys didn't have the same way of making someone feel utterly worthless the way girls did. Taylor was lonely and miserable simply because, for all the guys she could charm, she had no "girl friends" in Rosewood High.
But because she was a pretty, pert enthusiastic girl, she would always have a guys attention. So Rick was happy to talk to her. The two exchanged small talk for about ten minutes, before Taylor leaned in conspiratorally, after pretending to check her phone. "I just got a text from a friend of mine." She whispered. "You're a friend of Toby Cavanagh's right?"
"Yeah."
"Take a look at that." She pushed her phone towards him, the picture of Spencer and the curly-haired guy kissing on the screen.
"Whoa." He breathed, his eyes boggling. "Isn't that his..."
"Yeah, Spencer. Poor guy."
Rick frowned. "Have you shown this to anyone else?"
"No, god no. I don't want to embarrass him further. It'd just be cruel."
"Good. I think I need to show him this."
"Good idea. I'd hate to not know if my boyfriend was cheating on me."
Rick reached for my phone and I teasingly pulled it away. "Hey, now, what are you trying to do?"
"Well, I was thinking I could show him the picture on your phone." He said unsurely. "Have you got another idea?"
He was so eager, it was almost too easy. "Well." I teased. "I could send it to you so you could show him it, but I don't have your number, you see."
He laughed and blushed, but tried to cover it up unsuccessfully. "Oh, I do see. Okay. Here you go."
"Thanks." I purred, and within twenty minutes, Toby Cavanagh realized his girlfriend had been cheating on him.
"Do you think A was involved?" Emily asked.
"Some way or another, I don't doubt it. But I can't exactly figure out how they were now. Toby won't answer my texts. He's mad."
Toby had approached her as she was walking out of her class. "Spencer." He hissed. "We need to talk."
"Okay." She said, a little taken aback, and allowed herself to be pushed into a nearby, vacant classroom.
He stared at her, breathing heavily, his eyes wide and heavy. She gazed back, bewildered. "What's going on, Toby?"
"What." He said sharply. "Is. This?"
He thrust his phone into her face, a picture on the screen, the same Taylor had sent Rick. Spencer blinked at it, then she looked at him. "Toby..." She trailed off, realizing she had never told him about kissing Wren when she was drunk.
"You can't even explain, can you?" He said bitterly.
She looked closer at the photo, when she noticed the date on the bottom right hand side- dated yesterday. "Hang on." She said quickly. "It says this was taken yesterday."
"Exactly." Toby muttered, looking heartbroken.
"But I wasn't- I mean, I didn't- Nothing happened yesterday."
Toby wasn't interested in dates. He was upset because of the picture, and the fact Spencer wasn't even bothering to deny it, just protesting about the date. "Why would you do that?" He asked instead. "I thought you were lying about the Wren thing to keep me safe. Now it turns out it was true."
"No, it wasn't. I was drunk and in a hell of a state over the A thing, and I had no idea what I was doing-"
"I don't care!" Toby yelled. " I don't! You cheated on me! You won't even deny it!"
"No, I didn't!" She fired back. "I didn't cheat on you! It was when you had left-"
"Because I thought you were cheating on me!"
"I-"
"I thought you loved me." Toby's voice had dropped very suddenly, back down to almost a whisper. "I guess that was bullshit."
"No!" She said quickly. "No! I love you!"
"Then you sure don't act like it, going around kissing other guys."
Spencer had nothing to say. Tears formed in her eyes and she didn't brush them away. "I'm so sorry Toby." She said, heartfelt. "I really am. I-I do love you."
Toby walked to the door slowly, tears burning his own eyes, before turning to face her again. "We need some time apart." He said simply, and walked away.
He couldn't believe Spencer, his Spencer, the daring girl with the long brown hair, the sparkling eyes, his clever funny beautiful girlfriend, would do this to him.
But he had to believe it, because a picture said a thousand words. And this one spoke of the sudden, horrific shattering of Toby Cavanagh's heart.
"This too shall pass." Emily said quietly, staring at her splayed hands in her lap.
"What?" Spencer asked brusquely, caught up in her own misery.
"This too shall pass." Emily repeated. "I say it to myself a lot. When things get too hard. When it feels like the world hates me, and I'm slowly losing my grip on everything, even myself."
This was bitingly honest. Spencer realized it, and looked up, into Emily's deep eyes. "I've been saying it a lot lately." She admitted.
"Emily." Spencer said quietly. "Can I tell you something?"
"Yes." The girl in the bed said quietly. "You can."
"You are so brave."
In Emily's mind, the raven let out a long human-like scream, a cry of agony, and fluttered away, so now it was jammed against her closed window, keening softly. She watched it sadly, and turned to Spencer again. "I'm not." She said freely, and raised her wrist upwards, showing it to Spencer.
Spencer bit down hard on her lip, wanting desperately to flinch away but not wanting to appear weak. Emily flopped her arm down onto the sheet with a sigh. "Did you kiss Wren?"
"Yes."
"When?"
"When Toby was gone, and we were trying to accuse Melissa of being A. I got drunk, I met Wren. Things went from there. I woke up at his place with a bad hangover and a bucketload of shame."
"So when, technically, you were broken up with him."
"Yeah, but he doesn't see it like that."
"You should talk to him later." Emily advised. "Not now, but later, when he calms down. Don't allow it to continue. Convince him you still love him, you'd do anything for him. It'll be okay."
"Okay." Spencer whispered, nodding her head.
Emily spoke true, like she always did. The girl leant backwards onto her pillow again, and closed her eyes, exhausted from the short conversation. "I finished the diary." She murmured, and gestured to her bedside table.
Spencer picked it up, and sank back into the chair, flipping through the pages. It was simply more blather about how much Emily hated things she really loved, or loved things she really hated. There was two pages debating whether to hook back up with Paige. Spencer smirked slightly, and set it down. "I'll drop it off tonight."
Emily nodded, her eyes still shut. "I still miss Maya." She said matter-of-factly.
"I know. I'm so sorry, Em."
"Why are you sorry?" She retorted. "It's not your fault. You didn't kill her."
"I'm sorry that you're in so much pain over it."
"Mmmph."
There was a comfortable silence. Spencer sat, tapping the book in her hand, missing Toby already but knowing Emily's advice rang true. But when Spencer was miserable about missing people, she did two things.
One: she talked to someone about it. Done.
Two: she got it off her mind, usually by excercising, or going somewhere with a friend.
"Let's do something." She announced. "Come on. You and I. We have to get out of here."
Emily's eyes opened. But she didn't argue. She lay there, motionless. Spencer marched over and gently eased the sheets off her. "You might feel like you don't have much energy, so I'll help you get dressed, and then I'll take you somewhere. It's gonna do you good to get out."
"Why are you doing this?" Emily asked, staring blankly up at the ceiling.
Spencer went rifling through Emily's closet, picking out a suitable T-shirt and loose pants. "Because I think it will help you, more than any pill can."
She turned around, clothes in hand, to see Emily now looking at her, with clearer eyes. "Trust me, the more you do this, the better you'll feel, the less your mom will try and give you pills."
She helped Emily up, back to the fateful bathroom, and this time was careful not to leave her alone, as she changed, sitting on the toilet seat. Before Emily put any clothes on, she made sure to look deeply into Spencer's eyes. "I will." She agreed.
"You will what?"
"Trust you."
Spencer blinked, and smiled, before Emily shrugged and remarked, "I don't have very many other choices right now."
"Well, I'm just glad." Spencer said simply, before helping Emily get changed.
It wasn't as awkward as she thought it was going to be. The embarassment and awkwardness faded clean away once she realized she had to help a sick friend, and the only way to do it involved occasional glimpses of some parts of her friend that should be private. As soon as she'd tugged the shirt over Emily's head, she was helping the girl down the stairs, and as soon as she'd done that, she'd bundled Emily into her car and had started the engine up.
Emily blinked, looking unaware of the world around her, as Spencer carefully reversed out of the drive, and zoomed away. She pressed her face up against the window like a child, and stared curiously at all the different houses. "Where do you want to go?" Spencer asked her.
Emily didn't reply. She was too infatuated with the familiarity of the world outside. It had been at least a month since she'd got to go outside. So Spencer hazarded a guess at the best place to take her.
And it turned out, her decision was the right one.
Where has Spencer taken Emily? Suggestions, guesses all welcome. For those of you heartbroken over Spoby, don't worry, I have plans for those two coming up soon! Hope you all liked, Emily is getting noticeably better, I'm trying not to make the story a little more uplifting. Ooh, and Taylor is an evil little minx. I'm sorry, I have no other words for her... MINX. I sound like my mother. On that note, please keep reviewing! It means a lot to me :) (by the way spinoza-off, oh no pressure at all. No pressure. I'm totally chilled now- sarcasm. Thanks so much for your lovely review though x)
