11. Bree

As I step out of the shower and begin to put on my underwear I accidently look in to the mirror and I can't help but think I've gained weight. It's not that I feel like I eat that much more than normal, but I know I've gained weight. And I'm right I've gained 8,8 pounds in 2 months. I know that might not seem as much over 2 months, but to me it sure does. And then I also realize that my bra is tighter than normal. It probably also were yesterday and the day before that, but it's not until know that I notice. I look at my hips and they are bigger than normal and so are my thighs, and I can't help but think that this are the consequences of growing up. It's not that I don't want to get more curves, since I've always been skinny but I also don't feel comfortable with my body changing like this. I feel unbeautiful this way. I don't think I'm fat, but it just doesn't look good on me, or at least that's what I think. I pull up my black skinny jeans from Diesel, that I haven't worn in a while, but I can't close them they are to tight and my hips have gotten too big. Great, just great. I know I'm 14 and this is normal and everything, that your body begin to change but I can't help feeling that this doesn't look good on me and that I need to start working out. For some time I've been wearing tights and I realize that none of my jeans fit me anymore, so I put a bathrobe around me and walk to Bonnie's room. I knock once at the door and then step in without even getting an answer.

"Do you have a pair of jeans I can borrow?" I ask and she starts laughing.

"Sweetie I know I have a better style than you, but I'm also more fat than you. And you sure can't fit any of my clothes."

"But none of my jeans fit me anymore." I look down and she walks over to me.

"No way!" She slides open my bathrobe and looks at my hips.

"Wow baby you are becoming a woman." She laughs and I push her away playfully.

"Stop it! I don't want to be! I want this.." I point at my hips. "To go away."

"Baby at least you have tried being a skinny girl, I never got that chance."

"Bonnie please just help. I don't know what to do! I feel ugly!"

"Ugly? No way. I would kill for that body and so will the guys."

"No they won't. They like you more."

"They don't! And you are lucky, I got small boobs, fat thighs, big hips and a big but."

"But guys like big buts. And besides you have a small waist."

"That's not everything Bree. And guys might like big trimmed buts, mine is full of fat." She tells me and walks to her closet. She then comes back with a pair of black jeans. "Try these."

I pull them up and they might be a little bigger then what I would normally wear they fit better than any of my own pairs. "Thanks."

"But Bree don't be upset about this. We all go through this, and there is nothing we can really do about it. Besides a guy doesn't want a completely skinny girl. They do want curves."

"Maybe so. But that doesn't make me feel good about myself at the moment. Besides I'm already doomed."

"Why's that?"

"Because I had a seizure yesterday at school. And I'm sure somebody saw me, at least Kyle did."

"Kyle who's Kyle?"

"I don't know that much about him. Just that he's a sophomore and his name is Kyle Bolton."

"Kyle Bolton?"

"Yeah you know him?"

"Yes."

"Well he took me to the nurse's office, and he was really sweet and everything. And we are going to a concert in two weeks."

"You are what?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"First of all you said you didn't know him, second of all he has a girlfriend named Lola and third he's 2 years older than you."

"But he can't be that bad. It seems like you know him."

"He's Gabby's best friend."

"See then he's not a bad guy." I tell her.

"But he has a girlfriend, and I can already see on the look on your face that you like him. I don't want you to get hurt Bree."

"I can take care of myself Bonnie."

"Maybe so in some ways. But you can't protect yourself from getting your heart broken."

"We're just friends, or going to be or whatever we are. He's nice to me."

"Maybe so, but you can't just trust every guy who is nice." She tries to lecture me.

"I know that. But as you said he's friends with Gabby. And besides I won't just stop seeing him, without even to know what I'm missing out on first."

"But watch it. He really loves his girlfriend, and I don't think you want to get in a fight with her. Besides I like her, and I don't want to have to pick sides between you two."

"You won't. I'm not going to do anything. Besides I'm sure he doesn't want a fourteen-year-old virgin as his girlfriend. So you have nothing to worry about."