AN// Yes TWO stories, hee hee. Read, read READ!
Oni Giri Slash does not own the following stories/ and products revealed in this story.
Chapter Eleven
The Chapter that should have been between chapter 7 & 8 or,at least the author thinks it was between Chapter 7 & 8...?
I suppose you are probably wondering how the Straw-Hat crew was split up again, hmm. Well, after extensive research and numerous calculations I have finally come up with a series of probable and highly likely answers. It has taken the past fifteen years of my life to bring you this information, so I hope that you will take advantage of what I am about to tell you.
The first one involves murder, so please, to those who feel sick seeing an ant with a limp, I advise you to READ NO FURTHER.
It was a dark, cold night. The Straw-Hat crew, now reunited, was having dinner. Zolo, with the combined forces of Nami, had lit a fire and everyone was seated around it.
"If only there was food to eat," said Luffy.
The millisecond the words left his mouth a face appeared in the fire. It was a big, hairy face. There was practically no face at all, so we can safely say a brown hairy bush of a beard. A smile battled through the beard and consumed whatever naked parts there were.
"I think he's smiling," said a shaky Usopp.
"Err, 'ello," said the head with a gruff, uneducated voice.
Everyone timidly raised an arm in greeting.
"Is there a 'Arry Potter, anywhere 'ere?"
"Who are you?" Demanded Nami, raising a stick.
"Me? I'm 'Agrid, from 'Ogwarts. Sor'y to bother you an' all, wrong phone number or somethin'," he said another hundred words of apologies into his beard and was gone.
"Weird," muttered Zolo, causing everyone to look at him.
A good ten minutes later there came a cry from in the woods. "DIE!" said the cry. "DIE FOR GODS SAKE!"
Luffy jumped to his feet. "I'll save you!"
Brave, brave Usopp shouted after the rubber freak. "No, Luffy, you'll die!"
Luffy crashed into the undergrowth when suddenly he found the voice to the person shouting 'DIE'. "Umm," said Luffy looking up at the huge spider, then to the red head holding the tiny can of fly spray. "Do you need any help?"
"DIE! DIE YOU FREAKING FREAKS OF NATURE!" and 'schhhh' went the fly spray.
Luffy shook his head. "That's not going to work," he said.
The red head boy, obviously, Ron Weasley turned to him. "What do you mean? DIE!" 'Schhhhhhhhhh'.
"You need this to kill them!" Luffy pulled out a can of Mortein. "Home Brand won't do."
Then the Mortein jingle started up as the spiders dropped dead.
"More smart
More safe
Mortein!"
Oh dear, dear readers, I am so sorry. This was the advertisement I was writing for Mortein and not the story that split the crew up. I feel incredibly embarrassed. Let me start that again, please, if you no longer want to hear it, then you are obliged to forward on to the next chapter.
It was a darker and colder night then in the last story, when a dark figure emerged from out of the woods.
"Go," it hissed, "to Emerald City, the stupidest named city in the land. From there you will find someone who can get rid of your curse."
Zolo spun around, lighting his tail on fire. "Who are you?" He snarled.
"Interesting," said the figure in the shadows, "a talking wolf." It watched as the green wolf stood on its hind legs and drew its swords. "Err…does anyone else find this oddly disturbing?"
The crew around the fire nodded.
"Anyway…Go to Emerald City…" the figure faded. "To Emerald City…to…city…hello?…my…voice…is…sounding…echo-y…whoooooo," and the figure was gone in a little puff of black smoke. There came loud coughing and gasping sounds. "That didn't go right, can I try that again?"
Everyone nodded and shrugged.
"Thanks…whooo!" 'POOF!' the figure vanished for sure this time around with only a faint coughing sound. Sanji shot down the coughing bat.
Luffy jumped in joy. "LET'S EAT IT!"
Sanji threw the creature on the fire. "Sure, if you want rabies."
Chopper swallowed. "Rabies?"
Usopp shuddered. "Bats…I hate bats."
The bat began smoldering at the edges. "Perhaps," said Nami, "it's done."
Sanji's eyes glowed in the firelight. "A little longer."
Luffy watched in dismay as his bat dinner went black, to charcoal and then, to ashes. Then the fire blew up and sent them flying miles away from each other. They were separated this way.
I myself have always wondered why or how the fire blew up. However, believe me, faithful readers, that in the clearing where the Straw-Hats sat, there are huge scorch marks around the trees. I concluded three possible answers. One, that the fire truly did blow up. Two, a bomb was thrown at them. Or Three, which to this day I highly doubt; Ace, Luffy's brother, came and visited them, he had a cold, sneezed and Bob's your uncle, blew them away.
AN: Have a great day! UNTIL NEXT CHAPTER MWA HA HA HA HAA!
But before you leave, READ AND REVIEW!
The truth...
Ace came into the clearing holding a handkerchief to his inflamed nose. "Luffy?"
Luffy looked up from the disintegrated bat. "Ace?" He got up and ran over to him. "How did you get here?"
Ace shook his head. "Is that bat I smell?" He inhaled sharply through the raw nose.
"Yeah," moaned the little brother. "But it's burnt now."
"Damn," cursed the older brother, "I'm allergic to bat."
And with that, he gave a tremendous fire blazoned sneeze, scorching the trees in the clearing and sending the Straw-Hats miles away. Ace watched them go. "IT TOOK ME A WHOLE YEAR TO FIND THEM DAMMIT!" He stalked off to find a pub.
