Once Clint and I had spent some time in bed getting reacquainted, we started preparing for the trip. I was more than a little concerned at how my friends would react to Clint and how Clint would react to my friends. I told Clint I needed to let everybody know what was going on. The group was made up of four couples and my. We had all known each other for years. I sent a quick text out to let everybody know that I was bringing a friend. That's when the phone calls and texts started.
First, Ginger called. I had expected her to be the first. She and Mark with the ones I was closest to. Ginger is a tiny little redhead fireball and Mark a six-foot cowboy. They have always taken very good care of me. I explained in Ginger that my friend was a man and yes, I would be riding on his bike. I also told her that he would be sharing my room. Ginger tried to pump me for more information but I told her she would have to make her own opinion when she met Clint.
Second, Matt called. His wife, Emily, is the quieter shy one of the pair and tended not to call. They like Mark and Ginger where a bit of a height contrast. Matt closely resembled Shaggy from Scooby Doo while Emily would remind you of the 60s flower child. I called them my NASCAR hippies.
The last couple I heard from was Sandra and Joe, Sandra just texted. Joe and Sandra are the well matched couple and are classic bikers. They also tended to be the ones who stayed out of your business the most and yet were with the most supportive whenever you needed them.
The fourth couple of our group was Liz and Richard. I didn't expect to hear from them. They were notoriously out of touch and tended to get lost in their own world. While Joe and Sandra were extremely well matched, Liz and Richard at times seemed to be almost clones of each other.
In between each call and after Sandra's text, I explained to Clint who each of these people were and gave him a basic idea of their personalities. I wanted him to be prepared for meeting them, but to keep an open mind and form his own opinion. The one thing that I did explain in great detail was the attitude of the group. I explained to him that the other couples in the group regularly swapped partners and not to be surprised at anything he saw. I explained to Clint that I did not participate in any of the swaps and hadn't for years. I could tell he wanted to question me about the past until I reminded him it was long before we ever met and not something we needed to discuss. I let him know that I did not expect him to participate in anything he was uncomfortable with, but l wouldn't accept him getting jealous of the friendship and love that my friends showed me. Clint seemed a bit disturbed by the situation, but told me that he would do his best to be understanding. I knew that that was the best that I could expect and it might take some time for him to be comfortable with how familiar and relaxed I was with my friends. In a way, I was sorry for springing all of this Clint, but trust is a big thing for me. I needed to find out if he could trust me. I knew that I would trust him until he gave me a reason not to, but I had a feeling that he tended to make people earn his trust. That wouldn't work.
I was starting to regret having asked Clint to come on the trip. When I'd invited him, I'd been relatively sure that he would say no and I hadn't thought much about how an outsider might interpret our group. Now that the trip was reality and Clint was coming with me, I was getting very very nervous.
The actual packing wasn't difficult. I'd been packing for road trips it for many years. This trip we were staying in hotels so there wasn't any camping stuff that needed to be packed. All that was needed were plenty of clothes to cover whatever weather we may run into or places we may want to go. Each of us also always packed a cooler full of water sodas and of course alcohol.
On the day we were scheduled to leave, we headed over to Mark and Ginger's. I warned Clint that even though we were supposed to meet at 8 o'clock and leave by 9 o'clock it was more likely we wouldn't be leaving till 10 or 11. I knew that was because of two reasons. The first reason was that everyone would want to be introduced to Clint and feel him out a bit. The second reason was because Ginger was never ever ready on time.
When we got to Mark and Ginger's, as I expected, Ginger was not anywhere close to ready. Matt and Emily were already there. Sandra and Joe hadn't made it yet and nobody had heard from Liz and Richard which was about normal. I had asked Clint prior to our arrival if he wanted me to introduce him as Clint Barton or if he had a different name he preferred. I was pleased when he told me to introduce them by his real name. Ginger gave me and Clint very speculative look when I introduced them before giving me a big hug and kiss. Mark didn't say anything but shook Clint's hand and asked about his bike. As the boys wandered over to discuss the bike and compare notes, I knew Mark was really trying to make sure that Clint knew what he was doing before trusting that it was safe for me to ride with him. Matt joined Mark and Clint while Emily came over to where Ginger and I were and gave me a greeting hug and kiss. Mark introduced Matt and Clint. It wasn't long before they were all three chatting and discussing Harley's and engines. Quite frankly, I couldn't understand the conversation nor did I want to. I was just pleased that they all seem to be getting along.
Emily and I were helping Ginger to finish packing. Once we were out of hearing range, the question started. Ginger wanted to know anything and everything that she could possibly get out of me. I skillfully evaded most of Ginger's questions. She could be a bit nosey and if she wanted to know something about Clint, she could ask him. I knew that she would too. Emily stayed her normal quite self, except to ask sweetly, "Doesn't he look a lot like the guy they call "Hawkeye" in the Avengers? What is his name, Raven? You're the one who had the big crush on him."
I had hoped that I could avoid this conversation for maybe forever, but I knew that my luck was not that good. I had however expected to have at least a day or two. I looked down at my boots and mumbled, "Clint Barton." I wasn't ashamed of who Clint was, but knew I didn't deserve such a famous boyfriend and I didn't want to hear the comments that would confirm it.
Ginger can hear a cricket fart, so my weak attempt at muffling my response was met with, "Raven, are you saying that that IS Hawkeye?"
"Yes. Let's not make a big deal of it. Please?" I begged. My plea was met with 2 squeals and I was almost smothered with hugs from both women.
"Raven! Why didn't you tell us you had met him? That is the most wonderful thing. I am so happy for you. He is perfect for you. It's about time you found another guy as awesome as Paul," said Ginger.
"You deserve a hero, Raven. He's a lucky guy he found you," was Emily.
All my doubts came pouring out as their support wrapped around me, "You don't think I'm rushing in to anything? Paul's only been gone 18 months. Besides, he's a superhero. What could he see in me?"
"Raven! You know how any times I've been married. You've been ready for someone new for almost a year and that has nothing to do with how much you love Paul. It has everything to do with the fact that you are a passionate woman who needs someone to share her life with. As far as the other bullshit you were just spouting, I won't dignify that with a comment," came from Ginger.
Emily simply gave me a hug and said, "Paul would be happy for you. You deserve only the best! If any of us could snag a superhero, it would be you."
That had me laughing, "Thanks, guys. He really is incredible. You'll see."
Ginger looked a bit concerned, "Raven, does he know about all of us?"
That was when it occurred to me that I hadn't gotten my usual hugs and kisses from everyone. I had been distracted by making sure that Clint was okay. "You know," I said. "I just realized I haven't gotten my hugs and kisses from the guys! I think I need to go fix that. If there is going to a problem, we might as well find out now."
I strolled determinedly over to where the men had huddled. "Oh, Mark, I think you forgot something this morning."
Mark looked at me and asked, "What?"
"I have not gotten my hug and kiss! Don't you love me anymore? You too, Matt!" I scolded teasingly.
Mark laughed and wrapping me in his arms picked me off the ground in a big hug followed by a very through kiss. When he let go, Matt was there to give a gentler but just as through version with a silly dip at the end. I couldn't hold back a giggle at their theatrics. When I turned towards Clint, I expected to see anger, jealousy, and large dose of suspicion. What I got was a wicked grin as Clint winked at the guys and proceeded to sweep me into his arms and kiss me until my eyes crossed and my knees buckled. When Clint set me back on my feet, I swayed into him and had to hold grab his shirt for support.
I could hear applause and whistles behind me and with a blush and giggle I leaned my head on Clint's chest. "Wow, hun! Not sure where that came from, but Wow! Can we do it again sometime?"
Clint laughed and said, "I didn't want you to think I didn't love you anymore because you hadn't gotten a kiss and hug from me."
That got a laugh from everyone and as I turned back towards the group, I saw the admiration and acceptance that I was hoping for. Clint's reaction to our silliness had gotten him the respect of the men. I knew Matt and Mark had gone a bit over-the-top compared to the usual hug and kiss just to test what Clint would do. He had impressed everyone including me. Things were starting to look up. I began to walk away towards the girls, but Clint held my hand and pulled me back. I looked up at him and asked, "What? I'm going to help Ginger pack."
"Stay here with me for a minute," he said softly. I looked closely at his face trying to figure out what was going on. "I'll explain later when we're alone."
I squeezed his hand gently and let go. The look on his face was momentarily hurt until he realized I wasn't leaving, but simply moving so that I was sitting on the bike next to him. I waited while the guys resumed their talk and Ginger finished her packing.
Right as Ginger finished, we heard the familiar sound of Sandra and Joe's bike. Hugs and kisses were given all around and I introduced Clint. Once that was done, we started the inevitable discussion of how long to wait for Liz and Richard. Nobody had heard from them for a couple of weeks, but that was pretty typical of them. Liz and Richard tended to live in their own little world. As a group, we nominated Ginger for the task of tracking them down and finding out if they were coming or not. None of us were truly shocked when it turned out that they'd decided to go on a totally different trip and had forgotten to tell anyone.
We all grumbled good naturedly at their irresponsibility and prepared to leave. Mark had the directions so he was lead. Paul had always rode in second with Matt and Joe following. When I rode with the guys, they had always put me in Paul's position for safety. It just seemed natural for Clint to slip into that position also. In a relatively short time, we headed out on the road.
We finally arrived at our destination that evening about 10pm. What should have been a 5 hour ride had ended up being almost 12 hours. It was fairly typical of our group. Mark had managed to get us lost once, but we expected that of him. We all called it his version of making sure we got to go on the most scenic route. We'd stopped for gas 3 times, had 2 nice meals, and an even half dozen stops for shopping. The rally was being help in a small town in west Texas and we were staying at a lifestyle friendly resort. We had reserved a large cabin with 4 bedrooms and a central living area. I'd always gotten the biggest bedroom with a private bath since I spent the most time alone and needed a place to go when they were all playing together. The other's had taken the three smaller rooms and left the master for me and Clint. We grabbed the most essential of our things off the bike and headed to our room. I immediately starting stripping down to get in the shower and wash the road grime off. I'd completely forgotten that Clint had something to tell me. I don't hold onto things and the day had gone so well that it totally slipped my mind.
I was headed in to the bathroom when Clint said, "Raven, we need to talk."
Those are always words to chill a girl's heart. My first thought was, Shit! How am I going to get home? I managed to stay calm as I turned towards him. I was still wearing my bra and panties, but felt totally naked. "What's up?" I said trying desperately for a light cheerfulness. It fell totally flat.
Clint sat down on the end of the bed and cocking his head said, "Come here and sit down. I have a couple questions."
I went slowly to Clint and sat down next to him. He looked at me and said softly, "Don't be worried. I told you we'd work things out. Trust me."
I took a deep breath and said, "I know, but I worry. It's what I do. What did you want to ask me?"
"Well," he started. "First, is that how the guys always tell you hello? Because I'll admit it that it bothered me a lot. I just found you and I'm not sure I want to share. Second, why don't you ever say your husband Paul's name? Lastly, do you know how awesome you are and how truly amazing your friends are?"
I laughed a little at the last question, but the first two had thrown me. "Yes, the guys always give me great kisses when we say hello. My husband didn't really like kissing, but I adore it. They made sure I got my fair share so that I was content. I don't know if I can or want to change that. I hope you can accept it. That is as far as things go. There was a time when we were more intimate, but that was 5 or 6 years ago. My husband and I decided that we didn't want to share with anyone else anymore and that's the way it's been since. They tried to take care of me after my husband died, but I kind of went off on my own for a bit. "
"Your husband? Paul?" he prompted."Raven, talk to me. Can't you say his name?"
"Yes, I can say his name. My hus…. Paul had a somewhat dangerous job and didn't want everyone to know that I was his wife. He worried it would put me in danger. I started just referring to him as "my husband" to patients and it just became habit. After Paul died, anyone I dated didn't appreciate me referring to Paul by name. It was intimidating I was told. I guess, it was also easier on me."
"What did Paul do? How'd he die?" Clint asked.
We were getting a bit off topic, but I figured that Clint would want to know sometime. "Paul was a corrections officer. He was helping out at a facility in the dessert when it collapsed. It was just before the Loki incident in New York."
Clint's face turned white as a sheet and he looked like someone had gut shot him. It totally surprised me. I put my hand on his shoulder and said,"Clint, are you alright? What's wrong?"
He shook his head and said, "Nothing. Don't worry about it. You still haven't answered my third question. Do you know how awesome you are and how truly amazing your friends are?"
I was puzzled by the way he'd acted, but decided to let it go. I'd learned that sometimes it was best to just let guys sort things out on their own. It wasn't always easy to do and occasionally I reverted into a nag, but tonight I was too tired and I really wanted this conversation to be over. "I'm glad you think I'm awesome," I said. "Yes, I know how amazing my friends are, but why do you think they are?"
Clint rolled his eyes at my first comment, "You are too humble, Raven, but we'll work on that later. As for your friends, I've never met a more open friendly group. They are all so nonjudgmental, but they do protect you. I was quite thoroughly, but subtly warned by each of the guys and not very subtly by Ginger that if I hurt you there wouldn't be enough of me left over for identification. I really like them. I think they could be friends. I don't have many of those."
I smiled and leaned in close, "Guess what? " I whispered." You do now."
Clint looked startled before shaking his head and grinning like a little boy. "Go get your shower," he said. "I'll be right behind you."
I shrugged to myself and headed to the shower. That hadn't been the painful conversation I'd expected.
While I was in the shower, Clint joined me and we ran out the hot water checking with hands and mouths that the other one was clean before heading to bed.
Everyone finally rolled out of bed around 11 am the next day. The girls had already planned to spend the day shopping while the guys escorted us. Actually, what the guys did was bar hop as we store hopped. Everyone was happy. Though, I think the boys were happier than we were, but that could've been the liquor. Finally around 5, we were tired, hungry, and footsore. We'd known that the boys would be drinking so we'd walked downtown instead of taking the bikes. After a good dinner, we decided to spring for a cab and we all headed back up to the cabin. There was a lifestyle party going on in the resort club, so the other couples got dressed and headed out. Clint had asked me if I wanted to go. I'd originally planned to go, but looking at Clint I realized I wanted to stay in with him. We cuddled in bed watching TV and talking.
Clint told me he'd thought about what I'd told him last night and had made some decisions. I was pretty sleepy by then and so didn't freak out like I normally would have. I just mumbled, "What did you decide?"
"I want you to refer to your husband as Paul when you talk about him to me. Everytime. I can accept you and your friend's affection, but I want a kiss from you for every one of theirs," he said.
I was rapidly falling asleep, but heard what Clint said and understood how much respect he had to have for me and how much trust. I was cuddled under his arm with my head on his chest, but I stretched up and gave him a kiss. "Thank you, I won't betray your trust," were the only words that seemed appropriate.
He gave me a light squeeze and I drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, I woke to an empty bed. I was surprised at how quickly I'd grown used to Clint being in the bed with me. It felt empty without him. Of course, I also didn't have the dogs to crowd me and steal the covers so that made a difference. That reminded me that I needed to call and check up on my house sitter so I rolled out of the bed and put on my robe. I dialed the sitter's number and while we talked I wandered down the hall into the living room and then the kitchen. I used to drive Paul crazy walking around the house while I talked on the phone. He couldn't understand why I couldn't just stay in one place. I was starting to get curious about where Clint had gone to when I looked out the front window and saw him talking on his phone also. He was sitting on the swing that was on front porch. I finished my call and headed out to join him. As I stepped out the door, I heard him say, "I know Natasha, but I want you to check it out. I need to know this. I've tried. Just check it, please. When will you be here? I'll let Raven know. Talk to you later. Bye."
I thought Clint looked a bit guilty when he saw me standing there, but it passed quickly. He patted the spot next to him and I joined him on the swing. It everything in me not to questions Clint about what I'd heard. I wanted to be nosey, but hated when people did that to me. We sat on the swing for a little while just enjoying the morning air. Gradually, we heard people stirring in the house and then someone hollered, "Raven? You and Clint up? Are we riding today or not?"
Clint and I started laughing. I yelled back, "Lazy bones, we're already up and have been for awhile. What's your excuse?"
Mark appeared at the front door. He had on a t-shirt I'd gotten for him years ago that said, "THIS IS MY HANGOVER SHIRT. SHH!"
"Never mind," I laughed. "How bad is it? Loaded cherries bad or too much crown bad?"
"Too much crown bad," he replied.
"I guess that means everyone will be ready in about 30 minutes," I said.
Matt groaned and replied, "Make it an hour."
"We'll be waiting …as usual," I teased.
Mark turned around and headed back inside. I got up to go inside and get dressed myself. Clint followed me and asked, "Loaded cherries bad?" I quickly explained how Paul used to soak cherries in rum and Everclear for the parties. They were notorious for being really really good and really really strong. Several of our friends claimed that a loaded cherry hangover lasted for days while a regular hangover only lasted a couple of hours. As I explained, I realized how much of a relief it was to talk about Paul naturally.
I turned to Clint and told him,"Thank you for allowing me to talk about Paul. It means the world to me."
He smiled and said, "Anyone who discouraged you from talking about Paul didn't deserve you."
"By the way," he continued. "I hope you meant it by saying Nat could come visit. She's planning to be at your place on Monday. We are getting back late Sunday right?"
"Of course, I meant it. I'm glad she's coming," I replied. I honestly did want Natasha to visit, but not so soon. Maybe after I lost 15 pounds, 10 years, and had totally remodeled the house. She totally intimidated me and I hadn't officially met her yet. I mentally started making lists of everything I needed to get done just as soon as I got home.
Clint must have seen the sheer terror in my eyes because he laughed and said, "Don't worry; she's a really nice girl. You'll like her."
I couldn't hold back my snort of disbelief. "I'm not worries if I'll like her. I'm worried that she'll like me. Nice is probably not the first thing people think of when they meet Natasha Romanov."
"Trust me," he implored.
"I already do," I said. "But that doesn't mean I'm not going to worry. It's what I do."
Clint just sighed and shook his head. We got ready to ride and where waiting for the crew when they straggled out of their rooms. We spent the day riding the trails and visiting different scenic areas. We got back that evening and all got cleaned up to go hit the town. We'd heard there was a live band at a club downtown. It was a relaxing evening with good music and lots of laughter.
We next 2 days were repeats of that one. We rode different trails each day and saw a different band, but the feeling of relaxation and companionship was the same. We'd all grown apart a bit after Paul died, but all the distance fell away during those 2 days. The group saw how Clint treated me and opened their arms to him. We headed home on the 5th day. It was much quicker trip back. We took the straightest route and only stopped for gas and snacks. Once we reached town, we each peeled off in our individual direction and headed home.
When Clint and I got home, I checked the horses, cuddled the dogs, started laundry, and then crash landed on the bed. I had completely forgotten about Natasha's impending visit. I was reminded quite abruptly the next morning.
