So yes another twist, I couldn't help it, the story seemed to be getting boring. I mean no drama or suspense?! That shouldn't even be qualified as a book then.

I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT

Lessons on the Super Gluing a toilet seat to a Vampire's Ass.

Previously BPOV

When life brings you lemons you make lemonade. But what happens when life brings you demons? What do you make out of that?

NOW BPOV

This has to be the stupidest prank in the history of pranks ever written in the entire world. Okay so after learning about the Blackened Shadows everyone was real tense so Emmett got back to the idea of pranking Edward. Of course his idea's were Edward walking through a door and his head gets lit on fire, so of course I had to burst his bubble and did something less dramatic. But Jasper gave an idea but it seems so stupid and so related to the I'm a Barbie Girl prank that I doubt it will work, the only thing that it would succeed in doing is annoying Edward a little bit. However Emmett thought Edward would get so irritated that he would rip his own head off. No matter how much I want that to happen I doubt it is going to.

Okay if I'm the prince of the Volturi where would I be? I thought looking throughout the entire castle. We needed Edward's phone number for this to work. Hmm maybe his phone is in his room. Remembering where it was from the last time we pranked them I went up another flight of stairs down a hallway took a left and found his door on the right.

I put my ear against the door to hear if he was in there. Since the shower was running I was guessing that I had a few minutes before he came out, that should be enough time. I open the door quietly and slide into his room. Looking around it was still just a neat and his bed had emerald green covers this time instead of the royal blue.

Now let's see where is his phone? Ah ha there it is, on his dresser right next to his bed. I run vampire speed to the phone. It is a sidekick a phone I had wanted forever before the EnV3 came out. The shower turns off so I quickly scroll down to his phone number. 1-903-555-2678. I save the number in my phone and put his phone back down on the dresser before going to the door. Only I never made it out.

"What are you doing in my room?" Edward asked. Thinking of the perfect excuse I turn around and freeze. The Edward Volturi was standing in nothing but a towel. The towel hung dangerously low on his waist and beads of water were still sliding down his smooth toned 6-pack. My God he looked like perfection. Bella remember he is evil! But so hot. "Like what you see?" He asked again but this time he was more cocky. Realizing my mouth was slightly open I snapped it shut and literally shook my head to forget about a more than half naked Edward standing less than ten feet away from me. Now I see why all the girls like him. He could take off his shirt and even the smartest of girls brains would turn to mush.

"I guess you could say that." I shot back looking up at him and smiled my smile. My smile was the one where guys forget what they are saying, doing, and thinking. One guy even fainted from it. I think I will set this smile to a 4 out of ten, I don't want the poor guy going into shock. "I actually came here because Emmett asked me to."

"Why does he want to see me?" As if knowing the affect on me Edward pulls the towel down lower and I want to just run over there and rip it completely off him, I mean that is what the old me would do. Wild, uncontrollable.

"Well Alice told Jasper about the kiss who was furious and then Jasper told Emmett and now he wants to see you. Actually both do." His already pale face pales more and the towel is so loose that if his hand lets go the towel will fall to the floor and I don't want to know what I would do if that happened.

But unfortunately it did. His hand that was holding the towel fell to his side limply and the towel fell to the ground. Before I could, uh, see anything I covered my eyes with one of my hands and looked down avoiding looking at him completely. God if I was human my face would burst from how much I was blushing.

"Edward for the love of God put some clothes on!" I scream. I feel a whoosh of air and peak through my hands while still looking down to see his feet. Oh God.

"Oh don't you want a little peak." Edward says tauntingly and I feel his hands trying to pry the one I have covered over my eyes away but luckily I still had some of my newborn strength and held firmly in place. "God you are so stubborn." But never gives up from trying to pin my arm to its side.

"For the sake of your health put some clothes on!" I scream but he just chuckles that knee weakening chuckle. If I don't get out of here soon I'm going to be the one to pounce on him. With an irritated sigh I use my free hand and push Edward back hard to the other side of the room before dashing out and down the stairs.

Taking deep breaths I composed myself before going to see Emmett and Jasper saying that I successfully got Edwards phone number and conviently leave out the part where he is naked.


"I can't believe this. Emmett, this isn't going to work!" I whisper yell. Emmett, Jasper, and I hid in Alice's room and had cameras positioned everywhere so we could see what was going on.

"Trust me it will be hilarious!"

"I don't even see how it is going to work; vampires don't need to use the bathroom." My God what did I do to deserve an annoying brother?

"That's where we come in. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the show and be sure to be recording I want to have this for the rest of my life." Jasper says before he and Emmett leave and go to Edward who was in the east hallway. All they needed to do was get him in the east wings bathroom. Why vampires even have a bathroom here I will never know.

Once Emmett and Jasper are on the screen with Edward I push the record button and the little red light turns on. Emmett and Jasper are looking absolutely evil, playing the perfect part of two overprotective brothers.

"Why the hell did you even kiss her?" Emmett questions crossing his arms.

"Did you not remember our previous discussion? She is way, way out of your league and you would have to do a 180 to get her to love you. Kissing her doesn't make you any closer to getting Bella's heart." Jasper said.

"What about her seeing me naked?" Edward asked. I slap my forehead, how can he be so stupid. Seeing their bewildered face he continued. "Yeah she came in my room saying you were looking for me and I was only wearing a towel since I just got out of the shower. Figuring she would enjoy the view I let go of the towel but she was too much of a prude and shielded her eyes before knocking me into my bookcase. She owes me 300 dollars for the damage or a good fuck." Oh my Carlisle he was going to get himself killed. Emmett looked ready to blow a gasket and Jasper, the calm one, wasn't far behind from Emmett.

Emmett and Jasper each grab one of Edwards shoulders and drag him to the bathroom Edward screaming the whole way or more like whining and complaining the whole way. Once in the bathroom Jasper tugs down Edward jeans. Emmett crouches down and holds on to Edwards boxers. So he was a boxer's man.

"Bella if you are watching please look away." Emmett says and I can hear the other fabric hit the ground and a plop on to the seat, Edward screaming the whole time. I hear something like paper being ripped before it goes back to the screaming.

"You can look now Bella." Looking back at the screen I see Edward, pant less and boxer less, glued to the toilet seat. And there covering his, um, assets was a piece of paper with the words I'm so Gay! On it. Not their best insult but it would work. I start laughing as Edward tries to get off the toilet seat but finds out that he is super glued to the chair. Okay so maybe I was wrong about this being the stupidest prank ever but it sure as hell is hilarious!

Trying again he succeeds to stand up just as Emmett and Jasper leave the room. But Emmett and Jasper went all out because the toilet seat is still super glued to his ass and from what I could see from his ass he had a fine one. But the way he looked right now was a perfect moment and I just couldn't stop laughing. Once he fled the room and went back to his own I pressed the stop recording button.

"YOU SAW HIM NAKED!" Emmett screamed barging in with Jasper in tow.

"No didn't you hear I was too much of a prude. I didn't see any of him." That seems to calm them down. "By the way where did you get the glue?"

"Walmart." Jasper says simply before sitting in one of the chairs and Emmett sat on the bed next to me.

"They have a Walmart here?"

"Everywhere has a Walmart Bells." Emmett continues. "$10 for super glue, $54 for gas, Edwards expression when he was super glued to the toilet: priceless."

"You are such a dork."

"Yes but I am your dork." The door opens and in comes Rosalie and Alice.

"I thought you were my dork." Rose pouts teasingly.

"He is everyone's dork." Alice says sitting on Jaspers lap. "So we heard laughing what is up?"

"Well we... um… oh its better if you just see it." I turn on the recording that will be forever saved and kept for all of eternity. By the end of the tape all of them are laughing, Emmett and Jasper are laughing at the sight of Edward running out with the toilet seat on his ass.

Burning the recording on to a DVD I head out to find Jane. On the way to the guard room I pass Marcus.

"Hey Marcus." I turn around but still walk backwards. "You might want to check on Edward I heard he was stuck on something." And turn back around. Well Edward did deserve it.

APOV (Aro)

Marcus rushes to tell me something about Edward so Caius, Marcus and I go to Edward's room. Everything is normal except for the fact that he is not wearing any pants, underwear, and has a toilet seat glues to him.

"What did they do now?" I question and rip the toilet seat off his behind, he howls in pain.

"I think it was quite obvious." He says gesturing to the toilet seat. "They super glued my ass to that because I kissed Bella. And don't worry I found another advantage over her." He puts on boxer and jeans again making sure they don't fall down.

"And what is that?" Caius asks.

"She loves my body." We all look confused. "She was in my room saying that Emmett and Jasper needed to see me but since I just got out of the shower I only had a towel on. She was ogling me for a good minute and couldn't think straight."

"Yes but things like that don't really work when things like this happen." I say pointing to the seat. "Besides you need to speed this up, with the Infectus umbra coming I want to be sure she is staying with the Volturi."

"Relax father everything will work out." Edward said and patted my arm before going out of the room; we go into the hall after him.

"Where are you going?!" I scream down the hallway even though it is completely unnecessary.

"To get a new piano, you know how women love music." He shouts back and turns the corner until he is no longer in view. I have to give Bella more props than before I clearly underestimated her like I did with the Blackened Shadows but one thing is for certain is that she will be on our side. I just have to step in and help Edward.