10.
Is it bad that I miss Blake right now?
My brother is dead and he was one of my favorites. Yet here I was, sitting on my outside my room, missing Blake terribly. When I left I saw her in the hallway, watching me and Lily with a curious expression, while Lily was crying and couldn't stop. Me? I couldn't find tears to shed. Did it make sense that the pain hurt too bad to where I couldn't cry?
Christoffles was inside, trying to comfort Lily. I can hear her sniffles and the soft words of help. I was just quite out here, listening to the whispers of the wind. No practice for either of us, but we didn't need it. We didn't have it anyway, thank god. I knew this night was going to be a silent one, trying not to cry.
While Lily was sad, I was…just fuming. I wanted to find who ever did this and rip its head off. I wanted to cause it unimaginable pain. I wanted to show that he messed with the wrong family. I felt the hot anger wash through me, filling every nerve with the same desire. I wanted to kill. I wanted to hunt. Whoever killed Scott better pray that I don't find him. Because when I do…I can't even think about what I'm going to do.
There was another cry from inside and Chris's words of comfort, but this time it didn't stop. I got up and opened the door to my car. I raced down the highway until the got to the exit for the school. I had no idea what I was about to do, but I had to do something. Anything to keep my mind off this. I slammed the door shut, pulled my fingers through my hair, tossing the five dollar bill on the ground in disgust.
That was a happy moment. Could it have only been hours ago?
There was no one here. I jogged to the track. I felt my muscles tense and they knew what I was going to do. I was going to run until I couldn't feel anymore. Every pain I felt these past few days I was going to try to run off. Every memory of Blake, even the happy ones. I just can't take it anymore.
I sprinted.
I worked myself hard. I wasn't going any faster than a normal human, but I was sprinting down the track, and I just kept going. My muscles weren't even warm by my fifth lap. Not even remotely tired after my fifteen. I just kept going, not really caring what I must look like. I heard a harsh gasp and then I found out it was mine. I just kept running though. I didn't care that my heart hurt, I was running because of it. It was just kindling my fire to keep going.
I felt the fire in my chest before I heard my harsh breathing become more cracked, more forced. I slowed down and stopped. that's when I felt the tears trickling down my cheeks. I sat on the track and just put my head between my knees. I thought I could get rid of it, but I only hid it. This pain hurt. Not like Blake, no matter how bad it hurt. This was different. This was family. My brother. My friend. How had this gone so out of hand?
Another choked sob came from my lips. Then another stream of tears. I didn't hear the person come up to me, I only felt the warm arms around my body when she sat next to me. I put my head into her, crying like a fool. And I couldn't even bring myself to stop. I didn't want to. All of this I had been holding in for the past few centuries. Now I had finally hit the cracking point. Now I was crying.
It took ten minutes of just sitting there, crying my heart out, for me to finally stop. She said nothing during the whole time. She was quiet, just comforting me with her arms rubbing my back. My head was on her shoulder, while she pet my hair and leaned against me.
I looked up at Blake. She wasn't mad, she wasn't resented, she looked sorry. Like she wanted to take my pain away and make it her own. I didn't deserve it, I knew that, but it was nice all the same. Her blue eyes were like an ocean, calming my body so I wasn't shaking anymore. She didn't speak and then her eyes met mine. I couldn't help myself.
I leaned in, pressing my cool lips to hers. She didn't fight, she kissed back, her hand pressed against my neck, pulling me closer. Her other hand was on my cheek, wiping away any tear left. She felt so good. Her body, her mouth, her everything. I had wanted this for a while now- which is really only three days if you think about it- but it felt like eternity. My hand caressed her back, the other in her mahogany hair.
I broke away.
I didn't want to, but at that moment I remembered why I was here in the first place. It only made me feel worse to know my brother was dead, and Blake was currently dating Jeremy. My anger flared for a moment, but it was cut off by another round of hysterical sobs. It caught Blake off guard, but she soothed my pain again.
When I was silent, she took it as a point to speak.
"I heard what happened, Logan." her voice was soft, but so loud in my ringing ears. I didn't answer.
"I'm so sorry." and Blake was. If she was anything from what I learned in my short time with her, I knew she wouldn't lie, not about something like this. I took a chance and looked at her again, suddenly wishing I hadn't. those eyes, those blue eyes, only made it harder to keep control over myself. I was never good with self control anyway.
My hand brushed over her arm, raising goose bumps where our flesh made contact. I traced my fingers up her arm and along her collarbone, making her shiver, but it seventy degrees so I knew it wasn't from cold. I memorized her face, my fingers lingering here and there. My other hand was slowly trailing up her waist. I went slowly, giving her plenty of time to stop me.
This time when our lips touched, it was like fire. It was everywhere, there wasn't any part of me that didn't feel Blake. My hands were in her hair, our lips didn't part unless she needed to breathe, but even then my mouth just went down her neck. She brought my mouth back to hers in a frenzy. Her breath was sweet, her skin was soft and warm, but also like fire. Everywhere I touched a fire blazed around her skin. It made me want her more.
When we broke off again, I wasn't the only one breathing heavily. Our foreheads were pressed together. I heard her heart beating in a flutter, her blood pounding, making my mouth water. She had this scent like she was baking in the sun. Almost like crisp autumn leaves, but still Blake. It was like two scents in one, but neither made me back away. Each lured me in, in its own unique way. It was even harder not to bite her.
The wind blew around us, making her hair move in every direction. Blake looked so beautiful. Her light olive skin was shining in the waning daylight. The eyes she had just looked at you, making you stare longer. They burned in her sockets with such intensity I almost believed it to be love. She was just so beautiful. How had I not noticed it before? How had I lived without her? There was so much I had been missing.
"That was wrong." I said, my voice deeply depressed. I was supposed to be upset about Scott yet here I was, making out with some girl who already had a boyfriend. Not just some girl. She wasn't just some girl anymore. Blake was someone I wanted to be with.
Her lips twitched. "I know."
"I'm sorry not sorry though." I said cautiously. "You have no idea how much I wanted to do that."
She looked at me, startled. Had she not known how much affect she had on me? How had she not seen in my eyes how much I loved her? Was I that hardened, that she couldn't see through the walls I so desperately wanted her to take down?
"Really?"
"More than you know." my voice was strong. I pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.
Blake turned her head away. I could she was struggling to find words. I wanted so much to touch her again, but this time I just settled for holding her hand.
"Do you know what happened to your brother?" a subject change, not a good sign. I tried to hide the pain in my stinging eyes, thankful they obeyed for once.
"Murder." I said flatly.
"Do you know…?"
"I have a pretty good idea." my voice cracked like a whip. She flinched at the sound.
I was fairly sure my father had killed him. Scott wanted to follow me the day I left. This time since he was stronger, he was going to get his way by following me and Lily. But good old Atheus wouldn't hear of losing another son. He would rather see one dead by his own hands than have another traitor. My father was sick. How he did this and was able to stay alive with my mother I had no clue. I was still waiting for news that my mother had killed him in revenge, but part of me knew it wasn't my dad.
But I still thought it was.
Blake nodded. "Who was the boy who came in and told you? I saw him with you and Lily."
I smiled, but it was more like a grimace. "Christoffles. He's my best friend from Italy."
She was silent after that.
I watched the sun dip down over the horizon. I needed to get back. Lily would be worried. Not about me, but about me going to find the killer. I always got stupid when I was angry. Very reckless really. More than likely I would get myself killed by blind hate.
"Need a ride?" she read my distant face.
"I'd love that."
She got up silently, but to my great surprise, Blake didn't release my hand. We walked side by side, fingers intertwined, to her truck. The warm air blew around us, giving it a dry taste, but something perfect for this moment. The sun made my skin tingle again, but at this point, my heart was cracking through my ribs. Like a could feel anything but happiness at this point.
"What were you doing out here?" I asked, earnestly. It was one thing for me to be out here.
She laughed without humor. "Jeremy got mad at me."
I froze. She stopped too, surprised by my sudden jerk.
"He didn't hurt me! No I would have done something about it." she read my eyes that were harder than steel.
"If he ever does you come straight to me." my words were harsh and she knew I meant them.
Blake laughed, breaking the tension. "I will." she thought for a moment. "The track is a nice place. I took the leave-it-all-on-the-track saying to heart to tell the truth. It lets me think straight."
I nodded. "Tell me about it." we both stepped over a log.
"You're really good, Logan."
I smiled, putting my hands in her pocket. "You saw me running, huh?"
"Nope. I saw you sprint." her face was so funny when she said that. I laughed.
I rolled my eyes and thanked her. We were silent again, but by this point we made it to the car. I hopped in the passenger side, while Blake climbed up to the driver's side. She put the keys in and turned up the radio. Blake rolled the windows down and sang every word to every song that came on. Her voice was so beautiful when it was carrying a tune.
Then she started laughing as she sang to a song I knew all to well. I snorted in disgust.
"Please tell me you are not a Justin Bieber fan."
Blake laughed loudly, turning it up all the way. I shook my head and looked out the window.
I didn't know we were at my little "house" until she stopped. She looked at me with the most odd expression.
"Logan, about the kiss-"
"Don't." I stopped her, but she held up one finger.
"Let me finish." she smiled. "I'm not sorry either, but we can't do this. Not now at least."
It took me a minute to realize what she was saying. I just sat there like a moron (Which I still am), open mouthed. Blake liked me. But not enough to break it off which Jeremy. I tried not to let that crush my feelings, but at least she liked me a little bit. I smiled.
"Bye, Blake." I jumped out of the car, feeling like I could run forever, and burst through the door. I heard Blake's laughter as she drove off.
Lily was sitting on the bed, her face was lost in my fluffy pillow. It took my eyes a moment to really catch what I saw.
First: Lily wasn't asleep. At first glance you would automatically assume something like that, but really her face was buried in my fluffy pillow.
Second: Christoffles wasn't beside her. He was half way on top of her. He too looked like he was asleep, but if I stared longer I could see his head snuggled in my sister's neck.
Third: he wasn't just laying there. He was kissing her neck, running his hands over her sides, pushing away her mess of her hair. I heard hear sigh, but it wasn't just a sigh. It was a sigh of pleasure.
All I can say is 'ew'.
I shut the door loudly, making both of them jump. I mumbled something to them and walked to the bathroom. They both straitened up.
"Next time you wanna do something like that, leave a note." I said. Chris didn't laugh, but Lily's sounded all wrong.
"Logan, we just-"
I held up a hand. There was no way in hell that I wanted to hear all of the gory details.
But was I any better? I just made out with some girl who's already taken. All well. It was so worth it.
