A/N: Thanks, as always, to the usual suspects – Ameliegee, Rarae_xoxo and KillianMcrae for the amazing beta job!
And of course, thank you for reading!
Emmett POV:
We stood, staring down at the zombie horde for a while before I spotted him standing up on the stage beneath the band shell.
"O-M-G!" I squealed, clapping my hands in ecstasy before the rest of the family finally saw what I was pointing at. A young boy with light brown hair stood on stage in unlaced, floppy-tongued Nikes and a tattered t-shirt, a dark purple scarf wrapped around his neck. He was dragging a microphone by its cord, and it kept sending up screeches of awful feedback that hurt my ears.
"Is that Justin Bieber?" I cried, ignoring the fact that my voice had taken on a ridiculously high-pitched, squeaking quality. I couldn't help it – I was a total Bieleber. Suddenly, I had a great idea.
"Rose!" I mock-whispered, calling her over even though she looked like she wanted to throttle me. "Can we keep him? Please?" I begged, making the puppy dog face she always fell for.
"No," Jasper hissed, and I made a pouty face at him.
"Jazz, c'mon – he's so cute, and maybe Carlisle can study him. We can keep him in the Hummer and away from the humans if they come with us, and I can feed him the brains of whatever we hunt on the way back. It works with Fred!"
Alice, who had been standing off to the side, closed her eyes and almost immediately opened them, groaning as she nodded at Jasper. "Carlisle would want to study him and any other zombies we can get away from them without disturbing the crowd. I don't see any others close enough to the stage, but far enough away from him, to get to, though. Maybe we'll find some on the way back."
I squealed, clapping my hands with happiness. "YAY!" I whispered loudly, barely remembering to stay consciously aware of what the zombies would and would not pick up on. While we could out run them easily, we did not want to call their attention to anything we didn't have to and accidentally lead them back to the humans who were waiting. If they decided to stay, we wanted them to be where they wouldn't have to move.
Rose grunted, and I could tell she was pissed, but she motioned for us to stay put. "I'll get him. If Emmett gets too close, he's going to go all fanboy and make a scene. You three go into the store and get the food while I figure out how to grab him."
We all nodded and she split off, slinking over to the edge of the fence that blocked off the steep slope down to the park beneath us. I groaned, shifting my dick in my pants – I loved seeing my woman hunt, and she was in full on hunting mode, even though she didn't plan to kill anyone, as far as I knew.
"Just snag him and buckle him in to one of the cars," Alice advised as we headed toward the doors. I wanted to stick around and see the Bieb up close, but Alice grabbed my wrist and dragged me away.
"You will have plenty of time to get up close and personal later, Emmett," she reminded me, and I smiled. I was going to have a Bieber of my very own! I would brush his hair and wash his scarf and let Alice dress him in all of the finest clothes. As I decided that, Alice turned around and did a little squealyclap of her own, looking excited.
"Yes! I think he'll fit into all that Gucci stuff we stole, I mean took, in San Francisco!"
I grabbed Alice's hands and we danced in a little circle of glee until Jasper sent us both a huge wave of mourning. We glared at him, but he just laughed.
"Knock it off, you two – we're on a mission, and that little display almost made me hurl my breakfast monkey right back up onto the pavement." It was his turn to glare, but as he turned around, Alice and I did one more dance around the circle before scurrying after him.
The store had been raided, but there were still some useful items back in the storeroom. We made quick work of bundling everything up nice and tidily. Alice had the foresight to put some other supplies in the truck – paper plates and utensils, soap and shampoo, bath tissue, and every tampon in the store. We had only run out of tampons once, but Edward had nearly lost his shit when Bella had gotten her period, so we made a point of bringing them back as often as we could. Esme was working on a version we could make ourselves that would serve the same purpose, but we couldn't help but tease Eddiepoo by pelting him with the boxes every time we returned from a trip.
By the time we had filled up the car, Rose had zipped back over the fence with a listless Justin Bieberzombie in her arms. She put him down with a huff, pausing to stretch her arms high above her head.
"That little fucker is heavy!" she exclaimed, gesturing to me. "You put him in the car, Emmett, but if he opens his mouth on the way back, I'm going to be shutting him up with your dick."
I raised my eyebrows at her, waggling them lewdly, but she only rolled her eyes. "Which I will cut off to use as a pacifier," she clarified, and I cringed, covering my manbits with my hands.
"You wouldn't do that!" I cried, but she nodded wickedly.
"It would grow back, and I have my toys until it does," she added, and I suddenly felt the urge to make her ride with Jasper and Alice.
"No way," Alice said as she got wind of my plan. "She's such a bitch about the radio. There is no way in hell she is riding with us, Emmett. You wanted the pet – you get to take care of it and your wife. Have fun with that!" she cackled as she zipped into her and Jasper's car, locking the doors behind them. Jasper started the engine as I grumbled and climbed into the passenger seat next to Rosie – I knew the best way to assuage her was by letting her drive, since the Hummer was actually a pretty fun truck.
"Murr?" came a noise from the backseat. As Rosie pulled back on to the highway, she turned to glare at me.
"Murr!" I said, trying to convince her I had been the one to mumble. She didn't look convinced but apparently decided not to press the issue, instead testing the speed of the newly tweaked engine as we raced Alice and Jasper back to camp.
"How are we going to explain this to the humans?" Rose asked, and I pondered for awhile. It was a fair question. They had done everything to protect themselves, and here we were bringing a zombie right into their safety zone.
"I think we should leave him with one of us outside of the fence. If they want to stay, we will have to set it back up, but someone should be with him at all times, just in case. We'll ask Jasper," I added. "He'll know what to do."
Rose nodded, looking surprisingly satisfied, and turned on the radio. "Pray" came filtering through the speakers, and if Rose had been a human she probably would have stomped on the brake in shock. As it was, we stared at each other for a moment before turning to face the zombie in the back seat, but he made no sign that he had recognized the tune – he was staring out the window, still mumbling nonsensical things to himself.
Rose turned to glance at me, turning the radio to scan through the stations as she shook her head. Most of them were in Spanish or Portuguese, but the music was pretty good. I bounced along next to her until she spoke a moment later.
"You know, he didn't even try to put up a fight or bite me. That kind of surprises me," she admitted, and it made me pause for a minute.
"Well, Carlisle got bit because Mike was going for Jessica, right?" I asked, and she nodded. "Maybe they aren't aggressive to strangers or people without a strong association?"
"Hmm," Rose mumbled as she considered my theory. "But if they could recognize associations from their human lives, why isn't the Bieber zombie telling us to never say never?"
I shrugged. We lapsed back into comfortable silence, both thinking about the reasons that could cause Mike to go for Jessica, but Justin to not recognize a song he'd probably sung a million times. By the time we pulled into the area outside of the fence, Jasper looked pissed.
"Where have you two been? We got here five minutes ago," he grumbled as we got out of the car.
"Oh, no, Jasper, not five minutes of waiting!" Rosalie said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Oh shut up, Rose," Jasper retorted, motioning for the keys to the truck. "Five minutes is ages in vampire time, and you know it."
"Yeah, yeah," she muttered, but winked at him. Those two really did bicker like brother and sister, or at least what I remembered from my brother and sister. It was quite insane.
"He should wait out here," Rose and Jasper said at the same time, pointing through the back window at the Bieberzombie. They stared at each other in wonder like they always did when their thoughts aligned, and then shook their heads in unison. It was quite amusing, but Edward hated it – he said when they thought the same thing it came through extra loud in his head and rattled around in there.
"Come on, champ, it's time to get out. Do you need to go to the bathroom?" I asked, and Rose paused in the middle of unstrapping him and stared at me like I had three heads.
"He's a zombie, Emmett, not a Baby Go Oopsie doll!" she grumbled, moving to the other side of the car to help me guide him out. His limbs were a bit gangly but he was fairly well coordinated for a zombie. He just stared at me, and I have to admit, that shit was creepy. Rose and I stayed with him outside of the fence as Jasper and Alice drove the car into the compound.
"Gotta change my answering machine, now that I'm alone, 'cause right now it says that we can't come to the phone…"
I glanced up from my muttered singing to find both my wife and my newly adopted zombie son staring at me with horror in their eyes.
"Look, Rose, he recognizes it!" I said excitedly, gesturing to the Bieb. He shook his head mournfully and shuffled his feet.
"Huh," she said, looking at him. "Justine? Are you alright?" she asked, and I snorted.
"It's Justin," I corrected her pompously, puffing my chest out. Rosie glared at me.
"And I'm calling her Justine. I want a daughter, and Alice will have fun playing Barbie. It's not like he cares either way. He's mostly dead!"
"Do not disrespect the Bieb!" I shouted, wrapping my arms around him protectively. His eyes bulged a little and I loosened my hold. He gurgled, and I suddenly felt uneasy.
"Wait a minute," I told Rose, who looked ready to hit me. "Rosie – Fred, that zombie fish? He talks. How come the Bieb can't talk?"
"Wait." Rosalie held a hand up in front of me, completely ignoring Justin. "Did you just say the zombie fish can talk?"
I nodded, bracing myself for the storm.
"Jasper!" Rose hollered, and Jasper came running out the back door.
"What, what is it? Are there zombies?" Jasper asked, brandishing a machete that he'd unearthed from God only knew where.
"Worse!" Rose wailed, and Jasper stiffened. "Emmett has lost his goddamned mind!"
Jasper skidded to a stop in front of us, looking confused.
"Woah, woah, woah – Rose, calm down. Emmett's emitting guilt, you're giving off hysteria, and believe it or not, that is not an emotional cocktail I want a drink of," he said, stuffing the machete down into his pants and crossing his arms.
"But he just said that fucking fish can talk!" Rose sputtered, apparently impervious to Jasper's talent, which had me so mellow I could've sworn I'd just smoked a doobie. I started humming Bob Marley under my breath.
"Shut up, Emmett," they snapped in unison. I swear, those two were like freaky witch twins.
"What fish, Rose?" Jasper said, placing his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to concentrate his power.
"That stupid fish he left back in Forks!" she cried, but she seemed to be calming down some.
"God dammit, stop it, Jasper – my husband has lost his marbles. I'm allowed to be upset!"
"I have not," I finally said, looking at both of them and shrugging. "I just happen to know that Fred can talk. That's why I keep checking on him."
"See?" Rose squealed, flinging Jasper's hands off her arms and coming to embrace me. "It's okay, schmoopsie, we will find out what's wrong with you. We'll get you the best care!" I was tempted to smack her to break her out of it, but I knew I'd pay for that later. I gently took her arms off my neck and held her hands in front of us.
"Babe, I'm fine. I'll prove it to you. Fred can talk."
Jasper just stared at both of us. Finally, he spoke. "So…if Fred can talk, and I mean if," he said, before Rose freaked out again, "why didn't you tell anybody?" he finished, and I felt a flush of shame.
"I didn't want Carlisle to cut him open. He's a nice fish," I said lamely, and suddenly felt the urge to punch myself in the nuts. I was so stupid!
"Carlisle won't cut him open, Em," Alice assured me, having joined us when I was busy watching Jasper try to handle Rosalie. She slipped up and took Jasper's hand, who took a long, deep breath and looked like he was feeling better. "He'll want to study him, but he won't hurt him. Same as the Bieberzombie. You know Carlisle wouldn't hurt them," she added, and it was my turn to breathe deeply. This was Carlisle – my father figure for almost as long as I could remember. Of course he wouldn't hurt anyone, Fred or otherwise.
"Sorry," I muttered, toeing a rock with my dirty sneakers. "I just didn't think anyone would believe me," I added, feeling resolutely stupid.
"Well of course we don't," Alice said, ruffling my hair, "but that just means you'll have to prove us wrong!" she chirped, and I smiled.
"Seriously, Em, it's going to be fine. Edward and Bella are taking care of Fred, we've got the Bieberzombie. We need to take care of these humans and then get back to the compound. Jasper was about to ask them for their final decision when Rose called him, so let's go back in there and see what they want to do." We all nodded and I felt a lot better. I was glad my siblings always had my back, even when they thought I was batshit crazy.
"Everything okay?" Garrett asked as we tromped through the back door. Rosalie had offered to stay back with JBieb, saying she needed to blow of some steam so she might take him hunting.
Jasper nodded, muttering "I'll explain later," and moved to the front of the group.
"Sorry, everyone," he said, Karue at his side, rapidly translating. "False alarm. Nothing to worry about. Now there are a couple of things I need to explain to you before asking your final decision," he said, leaning back against the wall as everyone stared up at him. You could tell they really trusted him to do what was best for them.
"First, this is very important and I forgot to mention it last night. There is a pack of werewolves living with us in the compound." Jasper paused to let the gasps work through the room.
"¿Lobisomen?" a hush came over the crowd as the older woman I'd seen before, speaking Portuguese, came forward. "¿Lobisomen; dog?" she asked, looking at Garrett. His Portuguese was rudimentary at best, but he probably knew the most out of all of us. Rose and I never bothered with anything other than French and Spanish, and Carlisle and Edward, the ones who learned languages for fun, weren't around.
"Yes," Garrett nodded, confirming her suspicions. We were all baffled when she turned to the others in her group, who were all smiling and laughing.
What the fuck?
"Anyway," Jasper said, shaking his head and bringing attention back to the front of the room, "these wolves are men from an area close to where we were living before the outbreak. They protect the humans not only from Forsaken, but from us. They are very nice, and there for your safety – I just wanted you to know about them up front, so that there was no confusion or surprise. Okay?"
The crowd slowly nodded, looking a little overwhelmed. I was expecting them to break into hysterics at any time, which made me think of Rosie and how she was coping with the Bieberzombie. I leaned out the doorway I was standing in, but she was simply sitting on the hood of one of the trucks with the Biberzombie standing in front of her. I pulled my focus back to Jasper.
"Second, we have a Forsaken in one of the trucks outside. It is outside of the borders of your compound, and will be under constant supervision." Again, a gasp rippled through the crowd, but they seemed to be getting desensitized to these grand pronouncements. Then again, that could be Jasper controlling them, but that didn't really seem his style. He'd control them if they panicked, but he had always said people had a right to feel the way they felt until it became a problem for others.
"If we are going to survive this, we need all the knowledge we can gather. We were able to obtain this zombie without raising the ire of the mob we ran into, and our leader, Carlisle, will want to study it." I noticed Jasper left out the part where
"Third, and finally, I have a couple of things for you to consider further. If we leave you, we will leave all of these supplies with you. If you come with us, we will pack them up and take them with us. It's up to you to weigh the good versus the bad – if you stay, the food will eventually run out again. If you travel, the trip is long and will have its own issues. We are going to step outside and let you discuss everything. When you have decided, please come out of the front door and wave your arms, okay?"
Karue nodded and Jasper motioned us toward the door.
Rosalie was still sitting on the hood of one of the trucks, but now she had pulled the zombie closer and was twisting zombieBieb's hair into tiny little braids all over his skull.
He looked serene, letting out little zombie sighs with a smile on what was left of his lips. I knew Rose would warm up to him.
"Oh, shut up," she muttered, knowing what I was thinking. She pulled me up next to her as Jasper and Alice wandered a little way off and Kate and Garrett sat down in the sand, making sand angels. You could tell we were all dying for some couples alone time, but we knew better than to go anywhere more private and leave the humans undefended.
"What are we going to do when we want to have sex?" Rose asked me. "You wanted to adopt a kid, and we've got a kid that can't be left alone ever, or he might try to eat one of the residents. Seriously, Emmett, if this means I don't get any sex, I'm going to kill him myself."
JBieb's head spun around almost like that chick from the exorcist. "Relax, J, we'll get someone else to watch you if we need to. Rosie's just grumpy." That seemed to relax him, but his eyes were still narrowed in suspicion.
"Well, that was quick," Kate said, nodding toward the door where Karue was motioning us back over with her arms. We walked over slightly faster than human speed, huddling at the front of the room to await the verdict. I wasn't sure when I started feeling like this was a trial and they were judging us, but that's exactly how I felt.
"Take us with you, please," Karaue stated plainly, her face impassive.
"Of course we will," Rosalie assured her, nodding. The room erupted into cheers, which made me grin. Presumed innocent, until one of us ate one of them, and that would never happen with the wolves around. Jacob had already laid out some ridiculously painful-sounding ways for us to die, and I think that had resonated with all of the vamps.
Everyone in the room broke out into excited chatter, and I knew this was it – they would gather their things and we'd be on our way, and Fred and the Bieb would be united in our happy little family!
"Em, call home and tell them we're coming with forty-seven additional humans. The trip will take us about a week, because I don't think the bus will go vamp speed, and they'll need the time to prep the compound, anyway. I'm going to go talk to the humans and see what they need from us to help them get ready to go."
I nodded and took out my phone, stepping just outside the door to make the call. I tried Carlisle first, but he didn't answer. That immediately made me a little nervous, since he, as a doctor, was usually good about answering his phone, but I swallowed the fear and dialed Edward next.
"Hey, Em," he said, answering almost immediately. "Fred is fine. I think he's even getting a little tubby," he added, and I laughed.
"That's good, Eddie, thanks. I actually called to tell you guys we're coming back. The humans here have agreed to join us, so we're going to have to get space and food for another forty-seven people ready to go."
"That's great," Edward enthused, sounding genuinely happy. "Here, let me find Carlisle. Talk to Bella for a second, okay?" I heard the phone crackle a little as he handed it off, and Bella's sweet voice came over the line.
"I promise I'm taking good care of Fred, Emmett!" she said first thing, and I laughed. "Oh, I have no doubt – Rosalie threatened Edward's manhood. That's very effective."
"Yeah," Bella grumbled, muttering something under her breath that was lost to the airwaves. "About that, tell your wife I said not cool."
"Will do," I added. "We got you some more sugar, though, so be happy," I told her. "I swear, we should just start growing the cane."
"Pretty sure sugar cane doesn't grow in rural Washington state, Emmett," Bella shot back. "But thanks for the sugar. We're running low, and I hate having to ration it so stringently. Especially with the kids."
We chatted for a moment more before I heard Edward coming back.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry," Carlisle chanted as he took the phone, knowing his being out of touch made me exceptionally nervous.
"It's okay," I told him, then filled him in on the situation, including the fact that we had seen the housekeeper from Isle Esme in the crowd, though hadn't had a chance to speak to her.
"Well, that's wonderful news!" he enthused. "Any idea how the sleeping situation will break down?" he asked, and I realized I knew nothing about it. I promised to find out before they left and call him back, but he said he'd have enough rooms ready for everyone just in case.
I reentered the warehouse and found everyone ready to go, with Jasper and Alice leading an organized line toward the front doors.
"Wow, that was fast," I muttered to Garrett, who grinned.
"Apparently they really want out of this hellhole, even if they have to go with vamps to do it."
I laughed and started herding people onto the bus, helping them find places for all their stuff, which wasn't much – Alice was going to have a ball shopping for this crowd. There were a few personal momentos, and we put some snacks and bottles of water near the front, but none of the humans had any real "luggage" so to speak. When the outbreak hit, these people ran for their lives, and all nonessential items were left behind.
I climbed up the stairs for the last time and retained Karaue and one of the younger Portugese-speaking members near the front of the bus for a moment. As I called out in a booming voice, they translated accordingly.
"Hi, I'm Emmett," I said, securing a small hat atop my curls and grinning. "I'll be your bus driver for the trip. Food's up front, bathroom's in the back, and for God's sake – light a match if you drop a stinker. This world smells bad enough as it is."
That got a laugh, and I hopped into the driver's seat and put the bus in gear. The great North/South/Central American road trip was about to begin.
