Lessons of Gambling
Kenny and Kevin both pooled all the money they had. It all turned out to be three-hundred dollars. This should be enough to buy their parents a special gift. They were about to celebrate their twenty-first year together. Kenny wanted everything to be special. He sighed as he put the money into an envelope. He licked it shut, and labeled it, anniversary gift. He smiled.
"That should be safe, until we decide what we wanna do with it." He muttered.
"Hot tub." Kevin said smiling.
"Fuckin' yeah right." Mumbled Kenny as he stuck the money in his jacket. "Those are not in our price range." He muttered as he walked out to the kitchen. "I'm going to get some pizza, if you want any." He muttered.
The days went by, and Kevin and Kenny didn't quite know what to get for their parents. Kevin was really concentrating hard on trying to find the right gift. He wanted to make them the happiest they've ever been. He couldn't think of the right gift, no matter what. He sighed.
Kenny, on the other hand, wasn't worried. He knew an idea would come to him somehow. He would wait until it did. Kevin nagged him via text, in front of their parents, and he also made a scene when the two of them were alone together. Kenny told him that he had it all under control. He felt so confident, that he went out with Stan and Kyle two days before the anniversary. He heard a familiar sound of glass bump against glass. He and Kyle kept walking past the bar, but Stan stopped. Kyle noticed his friend lagging behind, and wondered what the fuss was all about.
"It's a pool hall." Stan muttered looking longingly at the hall.
"Oh no you don't, Stanley Marsh. I hate that game. Besides, Kenny and I are trying to shop for a gift here." He said sternly. "Come on, Mister."
"You know how to play pool?" Kenny asked amazed. "Kevin knows, but he won't teach me. Kyle, can we go in? I really wanna try." Kenny said as he looked in through one of the bar's windows.
"I don't think they let you in if you're not over twenty-one." Kyle said smartly.
"For the bar it's twenty-one and over." A man said as he passed them. "For the pool hall, it's eighteen plus." He encouraged to Kyle's dismay. Kyle gave the man's back a dirty look. Stan and Kenny walked back to the bar, and Kyle moaned.
"I've never played pool before." He said laughing. "I can't wait."
Kyle watched Stan and Kenny huddle together and Stan whispered the rules of the pool game to him. TO their surprise, Kenny was a natural. The pool hall was empty, as all the people were in the bar section getting drinks. Kyle assumed that someone would be coming in any minute. Kenny was really good. Sure enough, a young lady came walking in. She looked really pretty, and Kyle didn't recognize her from South Park. He smiled shyly at her.
"You boys wanna play a game?" she asked smiling.
"Hell yeah." Stan said smiling. "I'll play with you." He said as he set up the game.
The girl started playing. She had terrible game. She couldn't get the balls into the holes, and when she did, it was rare. Stan and Kenny were almost dying as they tried to hold themselves together. The young female sucked really bad, to say the least.
"I'm a newbie too." Kenny said smiling. "I have trouble playing also, so don't worry." He said softly.
"Really? Because I feel cheated I had to play against your friend here. I bet he's been playing a longer time than me." she said smiling. "I want a fair game this time, kid." She said looking Kenny in the eye. "How about we make it interesting?" she asked. "Ten bucks on it, ay?"
"Hell yes." Stan said without hesitation. He took a ten out of his pocket, and the girl did to. They both handed them to Kyle. He watched as the game started. The girl had apparently been holding back. Soon, the game was won, and the girl smiled. She got up, took her money, and waved as she left.
"Hey!" shouted Stan reddening. "I think she just hustled us!" he shouted.
"I'm sorry it had to end that way, boys." She said as she walked off.
"I told you we should've stuck to what we came here for." Kyle muttered as he stood up off his stool. "Can we go now?" he asked as he walked to the door.
"I just got an idea." Stan said as he eyed Kenny.
The next day didn't get any better. Kyle didn't know if he should tell Kevin about what was going on, or what. He watched Kenny and Stan hustle older men, younger men, and all kinds of people. No one ever came along that Stan and Kenny didn't hustle.
"You boys better be careful." Randy Marsh said as he handed Kenny fifty dollars. Kenny had won it fair and square. "Someone's going to come along and take you two up on your offer, and when they find out you've hustled them, they will get angry, and kick your asses." He said grinning. He got up from where he sat, and walked off.
"How about another game, Mr. Marsh?!" Kenny yelled.
"I'm not an idiot, Ken!" shouted the man as he left.
Kenny came home to Kevin, and confirmed what Kyle had told him over the phone just hours ago. The money they had planned to buy their parents' gift with, was doubled. Kenny came home with eight hundred dollars in the envelope. Kevin didn't like the looks of it, but he didn't know what to do. Then, he sparked a plan. He phoned Kyle, and told him. Kevin smiled as Kyle agreed. It would take place in a week.
In the meantime, Stan and Kenny would go around to all the different bars they could. Never hitting up the same bar twice, lest they get caught, and murdered. Kenny would play a terrible game for everyone to see, and people would challenge him. He would bet a few bucks on the first game, and win. Bet nothing on the next two games and lose one, and win the next. Bet a fourth game, and win. They were never caught.
"Kenny, the party is tomorrow. We have got to go shopping for the gift." Kevin said seriously. "No more putting it off." He said as he sat in front of the blond and started flipping through the television channels.
"Fine." Kenny moaned as he stretched out on the recliner. "We should get going before I change my mind." He muttered sadly.
"We're supposed to do this together. Want Stan to come along?" Kevin asked kindly.
"Yeah." Kenny said as he stood up. "Why don't I call Kyle, too?" he mumbled as he went to his room to get ready.
Half an hour later, Kevin and Kenny pulled out of the drive. They went and picked Stan up. Kyle wasn't able to go because he was doing some other things for his mom. Kenny regretted that the Semite couldn't go. He always liked the boy's company. Oh well. He'd have to find some other way to spend time with Kyle, he guessed.
Stan gasped and stopped in his tracks as they walked through the Denver mall. He moaned longingly as he spotted a sign. Kenny and Kevin looked at it too. It was a pool hall. In the mall? Strange.
"Kenny, Stan, we are not going in there." Kevin said trying not to smile. "I don't have time for your games." He said as he walked past the hall.
"It says here, twenty one and over." Said Kenny looking at the sign. "The big top players must play in here all the time." He said as he looked at the sign again.
"Are you boys coming?" Kevin asked as he looked back.
"Kev?" Stan asked as he caught up to the older guy. "Will you please take us in there?" he begged. "You can see just how Kenny plays."
"You know how to play pool, lil bro?" Kevin asked with a look of mock surprise. "I never knew." He said as he doubled back. "Okay." He said giving in.
"Yes!" Stan and Kenny both cheered
The plan was in motion. Kevin smiled to himself as he and the pair of younger boys walked in to the hall.
"ID's, please?" a girl asked as they entered.
"They're with me." Kevin said as they handed over three ID'S.
The girl made sure everything was in order, and smiled at them. She nodded, and they all were allowed to proceed.
Kenny and Stan spent a good hour hustling the people at the bar. It finally got around to the people coming in not to play with the couple of hustlers on the east side of the hall. Soon, there were people playing games, and keeping to themselves. Stan and Kenny found it annoying that no one wanted to play with them.
"Okay, folks." Kevin said happily. "Let's go. We've spent enough time here, and we gotta go shopping for mom and dad, Kenny." He said. He was staring at a spot behind the girl that was checking ID's behind the counter at the entrance.
Two men appeared out of nowhere. They both smiled.
"Hang on just a second. I've seen this blondie's game." One of them said.
The first man that had addressed Kevin, looked about thirty or so years old. He was a tall black man, with a tattoo of a skull and crossbones on his arm. He looked like he had once been a body guard for someone famous. Or maybe he had gotten into fights, because he had a scar right across his cheek on his left side. He had nice dreadlocks.
His partner was a heavy set tall white male. He had nice red hair, and freckles. But he too looked like he was someone you didn't want to cross. He and his friend smiled.
"How about a game?" one of them asked looking confident.
Stan's face went white. The pool hall emptied out, and no one came to the girl at the counter. Stan and Kenny looked at each other.
"No thanks." Kenny said looking at the size of the two men.
"Hell yeah, he'll take a game." Stan spoke up for Kenny.
"No I won't!" Kenny squealed.
"Let's see what you're made of, goldy locks." The first man said as he sat down. "Rack 'em up." He said to Kevin, who happily set up the game.
Kenny's stomach was in knots as he tried to make the game short and simple. He had played the worst he's ever played before, on purpose.
"You're not too good at this game." Said the first guy laughing. "Why don't you play with my partner, here." He said smiling.
"No, thanks." Kenny gasped. "My brother and I have to go shopping for a gift for my parents." He said as he stood up. "Come on Kevin!" he begged.
"Hell no, man!" Stan said pulling Kenny back down. "We ain't leaving. Kenny's just a little nervous. He'll show you what he's really made of. Let's make it interesting!" he said as he dug his hand into Kenny's jacket and pulled out the envelope. "There are two hundred dollars in here, that say he can beat your partner's ass." Stan said smiling as he slammed down the money.
"Is that a challenge!?" the second man asked as he took his partner's place.
"No!" Kenny shouted as he turned red. "That's not a challenge, Stanley, we have to go!" he shouted as he felt his life slip away from him.
"Let's play!" shouted Stanley smiling.
"Kenny doesn't want to play!" Kenny yelled as Kevin set up the game again.
"Come on." Said the second man smiling at him. "How bad could it be?" he asked grinning.
Kevin and the rest watched as Kenny and the guy started playing. Kenny really showed him his game. It was a tie, and it took Ken five minutes after the tie to declare himself winner. The man's face went white, and he slammed his fist on the table, making the thing shake under his fist. His friend stood up and stared Kenny down with hard steel eyes.
"I'm thinking you guys just hustled us." The second guy said standing up. "Chase, lock the door."
"No need to lock the door, Chase!" Stan said as he realized his mistake. "We were just about to leave!" he said as he stood up too. But it was too late. Chase went and locked the door, flexing the muscle with the skull on it.
"You know what we do to hustlers around here, kid!?" asked the second guy as he walked around to Kenny.
"I don't want to find out!" Kenny rasped as he tried to keep it together. "How about you take your money, with interest!?" Kenny gasped.
"Get the crow bar, David." Said Chase as he lifted Kenny over his head.
"No!" Stan shouted as he flailed his arms everywhere. "This was my fault! All my fault! If you want to hurt someone, hurt me! Kyle and Kenny tried to tell me about the dangers of hustling someone, and I didn't listen!" he shouted as he started to shake. "Please, David, and Chase! Just don't hurt Kenny, he didn't know what he was doing!" he shouted.
"Psych!" Kevin, Kyle, Chase, and David shouted as Chase tossed Kenny over to Kevin.
"Did you see that, Kyle, these two were about to piss themselves!" shouted Chase as he laughed.
"Kyle!?" Stan asked as he saw Kyle taking off his makeup. He had been the lady behind the counter the whole time! Kenny and Stan gasped.
"How do you know Kyle!?" Stan asked the two men who had now stopped laughing.
"These guys are part of my youth group." Kyle said smiling.
"What kind of youth group do you fuckin' go to!? Shouted Kenny looking aghast.
"That's not the point!" Kyle said as he came over to them. "I was getting sick of you two always having to muck up a trip to the mall or the jewelry store just because you two saw fit to gamble. It's not funny, and it can turn dangerous." He said as he smiled at his friends.
"Thanks, you guys." He said as they all laughed at the looks on Stan and Kenny's faces.
"You knew about this one, too, didn't you, Kevin?" Kenny muttered as the group got into the car.
"All's well that ends well, little bro." Kevin said as the four of them headed to shop for the gift.
