Anastasia

I moved Teddy into the master bedroom with me in the middle of the night when he woke for his first feeding. As much as I don't appreciate Christian doing this, moving us in here, behind my back at that, it is a nice apartment and we have privacy, it being just Teddy and I. I've never really had a place of my own and this apartment is amazing, to say the least.

The plus side, or negative depending how you look at it, is that Christian is just a few floors away. It will be great when Teddy visits his father alone, I wont be too far from him, but the only thing I wont like is if and when Christian's submissives come running through on the weekends.

I wont have Teddy around them, at all. Christian already knows I don't want Elena Lincoln near Teddy but I haven't said anything about new girls. I know what it's like, my mother had a new guy every time I blinked after she left Ray when I was 13. I don't want that for Teddy. In return, I wont introduce Teddy to anyone I may date in the future until and unless it is absolutely serious. I can guarantee this will be an argument and I'm not looking forward to it, but it needs to be said now before it gets to that point.

But how will I feel, personally, when I see one in the elevator. It killed me just seeing him in those jeans, how is it going to affect me when I see a sub face to face?

Hopefully it wont come to that, hopefully we'll either work this out or be done with it and I'll finally be over Christian Grey.

Although, I will never be rid of him, we have a baby together, and if he seriously wants to be involved in Teddy's life, then I'll be seeing Christian for the rest of mine. After how he behaved when I told him I was pregnant, I'm shocked that he wants to be involved now. I know he is only doing this because he wants me back, but if we don't work things out and only co-parent, seeing him with Teddy when he finally does accept it, it's just going to be that much harder to get over him.

He thinks I don't remember what we had, but I do. I do remember and I do miss it, I cried every night throughout my pregnancy remembering it. But it's not about that anymore, it's not about having fun and being dumb. I am a mother now, we are parents, and we have to do what is best for our son. He's still treating me like his sub though and that needs to stop.

We have a meeting today to discuss what will happen regarding Teddy and I wont let him get away with certain things. This isn't what I wanted, his money, I just want his help and he has yet to do that without throwing his money around. How can he not see what a beautiful thing it is that we created together. I know supporting us and giving us this apartment, the security, it's his way of taking care of us, but he's still not as involved as I would like.

I'm sure Christian still doesn't know that Teddy's last name is Steele, not Grey, because he hasn't brought it up, but he is bound to see it on the paperwork today and I wonder if that is going to be another argument. Probably not, he could care less, I'm sure. But if this affects his image to the public, it may.

Since Christian is meeting with his legal team before I arrive, I have plenty of time to doll myself up. It will be less of a fight if he's horny, and I want him to see exactly what he is missing. I know he wants me, and I want him, but he needs to know that Teddy and I are a package deal, just like if I were to date any other man. The difference is, Christian is Teddy's father.

It has taken me longer than usual to get ready, and I had to do things during Teddy's nap and work around his schedule, but I am finally ready. I've showered, fixed my hair how Christian likes it, put an extra effort and wore some makeup, and now I am putting on that plum dress I know he likes. It's the dress I wore when we discussed another contract. This time, however, I am the one who knows what she wants. Last time I was unsure and Christian knew exactly what he wanted. He asked me to try it his way and I did, now I'm asking him to try it my way.

As I look in the mirror, I frown thinking I don't look as good as I did the last time I wore this. Maybe I should change. I still have baby weight to lose, just giving birth only a few days ago. No, I'm already running late and I don't have time to find something else. Maybe Bastille will be available to help me. He was such a great trainer when I was with Christian. I saw him three times a week, per the contract I signed with Christian. But now, it will be on my terms.

I put on my flats and then grab Teddy's bag.

Teddy is fed, changed and ready to go. I even gave him another bath just to be sure I got all that vile off of him.

Thankfully there was a stroller in the closet of the nursery so I don't have to carry around a newborn inside GEH or that heavy car-seat. Now I just have to meet these security guys that Christian said was for Teddy's sake. Of course, I understand why we both need security, but again, he has done it without telling me.

Once I have everything we'll need for our first little outing, I step out into the hall and lock up before walking towards the only other door.

Knocking, I wait patiently, but it doesn't take long before the door is opening and a tall man dressed in a suit, much like Taylor's, is answering.

"Sawyer?" I ask to be sure. I recognize him as the guy that was at the hospital with us but was never told his name until last night.

"Yes, ma'am."

"I'm Ana," I introduce myself, even though I'm sure Christian has already given him every detail about me. "Christian said you're security and would take us to Grey House."

"Yes, ma'am. We are ready whenever you are."

"Oh, okay. Well, we're ready now if that's okay."

He nods and looks behind him saying, "let's go", then he steps out into the hallway with another guy following him.

"This is Ryan, Ms. Steele." Sawyer introduces us. "He is assigned to your son."

I nod, knowing because Christian has already told me.

We all enter the elevator and travel down to the parking garage together.

As I follow them to one of Christian's SUVs, I notice my red Audi is parked in one of Christian's spaces, just like he said.

There is already a base installed in this SUV, so I hook up Teddy's seat to it while Ryan puts the stroller in the back and Sawyer climbs into the driver seat.

The drive to GEH is short and quiet. I'm trying to prepare myself for what's to happen. I don't know what to expect but I don't want him to overwhelm me either.

Christian is a very powerful and influential man in Seattle, it's easy for him to get his way. We're not involving a judge right now, but if I don't agree to anything he suggests, or vis versa, we very well could go to court over this parental dispute, and it is possible that Christian could get whatever he wanted that way. Paying a judge to rule in your favor is illegal, but I wouldn't put it passed Christian. When he wants something, he gets it. And right now, that something is me.

Stay strong, Steele.

Sawyer parks in a space with RESERVED stamped onto the cement wall. I recognize the second SUV belonging to Christian right next to us. Both men get out, Sawyer opens the door for me while Ryan retrieves Teddy's stroller from the back. A girl could get use to this type of treatment, I giggle at the thought of these big men following boring ol' me around all day.

Thankfully the media has died down and they don't know of this planned outing so there are none around today. I'm sure they still want the first photo of Christian Grey's baby.

I've came here plenty of times to have lunch with Christian, but as we enter the elevator, I can't stop thinking about the very first time I came here to interview him. What a major difference from today. And then my mood shifts when I remember the last time I was here.

We arrive on Christian's floor and step off, going to his assistance desk.

"Ms. Steele is here to meet with Mr. Grey." Sawyer announces for me.

"Yes, Mr. Grey is ready for you, Ms. Steele. Do go through."

Sawyer leads me to Christian's office door but I tell him to wait before he opens it for me.

I need to take a deep breath to steady my nerves before this meeting.

Finally ready, as I'll ever be, I enter the office and then Sawyer and Ryan head towards the security office on this floor.

"Anastasia." Christian smiles from behind his desk, standing to make his way towards us. It gives me the opportunity to admire him.

He looks so handsome in his suits, in anything he wears, it is so unfair. I wore this dress to get to him but it's me that is going to be weak in the knees.

Why does this man have to affect me so much?

I repeat my new mantra in my head; Stay strong, Steele. Stay strong, Steele.

"Please," He says when he finally reaches us. "Don't."

I blush when he pulls my lip free from my teeth. I didn't even realize I was biting it and I know what it does to him, he has told me before. But I didn't want him to know I'm affected.

Swallowing hard, I back away. I'll never be more grateful for a stroller between us than I am now. I can't think when he's touching me.

As I look around, I see that it is just us in here. My heart feels heavy at thoughts of when I was last here. The words he said to me.

"I want nothing to do with it." He said, "I want you, Anastasia, not that. This isn't going to work if you keep it."

And like a bucket of ice, cold water, I'm back to standing my ground firmly. I'm on the verge of tears because of him, yet again, but I wont give him that power over me.

"What's wrong?" He asks, sensing my mood change.

"Nothing," Except the last time I was here, you ended us because I was pregnant with your baby.

"Where are your lawyers?" I ask, wanting to get this over with.

"I left them in the conference room so I could meet with you here before we went in. We can go there now, if you're ready."

"Yeah." I try to sound confident, but it comes out anything but.

He smirks, and then leads us to the conference room where his lawyers are waiting.

As if talking with Christian about this isn't intimidating enough, he has a team of attorneys who work for him. I have no one, it's just me. Me against them.

We enter the room, and I'm surprised to see only two men sitting at the conference table.

After parking the stroller near me so I can keep an eye on Teddy, Christian helps me into the seat to his right then takes up the head of the table while introducing me to the men; his lawyer and the other a notary for legal reasons.

I can't help but smile but I try to hide it. So this is his lawyer who insists on NDAs.

His lawyer begins to go over a brief summary of why we are here before we begin.

He notes that Christian is not listed on Teddy's birth certificate and gives me a document to sign saying it is okay to add Christian as the father. He also makes it known that he advised Christian to take a paternity test but Christian refused. Smart man. I have no problem adding his name to Teddy's birth certificate so I sign the first document without hesitation.

After I sign, it is given to the notary.

The next topic of discussion is Teddy's last name.

"Mr. Grey would like for his son to have his surname."

"No." I refuse to budge.

Christian is quiet, allowing his lawyer to speak on his behalf, but I can't tell if he is upset or not that I didn't agree to change Teddy's last name. Goddamned poker face!

Instead of continuing with this, Christian waves his hand to his lawyer, granting him permission to drop it and move on, so he must not be all that torn up about it.

I'm not sure if the surname is really a big deal to him, or if he'll bring it up again later, but it doesn't matter, I wont change Teddy's last name, not for all the money in the world. I refuse to give him the name of a man who didn't even want him to begin with, not until he proves to me that he has really and truly changed.

His lawyer hands me paperwork explaining what Christian agreed to, along with a pen for me to sign. Being with Christian, I have learned to read anything before signing.

As I read the agreement, I'm getting more and more upset the further I go. I know I said I wanted Christian to be involved in Teddy's life, step up and be a father, but all I can think about is Christian not wanting Teddy when I was pregnant. Being here, at GEH, is just reminding me of that.

I really want to scream, I want to leave, I want to run away, but I know I can't. I have to stay and face the consequences of my actions. Teddy wasn't made by just one of us. And this little meeting is my fault, I told Christian the only way to have me again was to be a father and he said he would try. This is him trying. But why does it always have to be about money with him. That's not what I want, doesn't he understand that?

"Is there anything you would like to add, Ms. Steele?" His lawyer asks when I'm taking too long to sign.

"I think it's a bit much, don't you agree?" I ask, looking at Christian after reading the amount. I don't want to talk to his lawyer, I want to talk to him.

"I can afford it," He answers smugly. "And I want to take care of you. Both of you."

"Surely that amount is a bit overkill though. I mean, that's more than my job pays me."

"Obviously, you wont need to work." He smiles, adding, "He is my son, Anastasia, I'm going to support him in the way I see fit."

Oh, so now he is claiming Teddy as his. The way he says it pisses me off, and I don't know why because this is what I wanted.

But I wont accept a ridiculous amount of money when that amount is not needed. Yes, Christian is very wealthy and can afford it, but it somehow feels like he's trying to overcompensate, like this is his way of apologizing for how he treated me when I found out I was pregnant and subsequently ignoring the pregnancy like it would magically go away. However, that's not how it works.

It's for Teddy, though...

Oh. My. God.

It's now that I realize what he's doing. The bastard! He is using Teddy for his leverage to get me to agree to things. It's becoming a pattern that I'm only now seeing. I get upset with what he does, or has done, like with the apartment and security last night, and then he brings up that it is for Teddy's best interest and I let it go. Now he's doing it again by overpaying me child support.

Well, not anymore. He wants to play me, fine. Let's play.

"What if we lower the amount, let's say half, and you personally buy items he needs." That way he has to think about his son every time he has to order someone to pick up a package of diapers. He may have someone else buy them, but he has to give them to me.

"You want.. less money, Ms. Steele?" His lawyer asks.

"I want his help, but that's it." I correct him. "I don't want more than I need, I just want his help."

"If you agree to change his surname, I'll agree to lower the cost." Christian chimes in, trying to negotiate. But I wont change Teddy's name, that's the one thing I wont agree to.

"I will agree that we live in that apartment, rent free, as well as you lowering the cost. No name change."

The two men are scratching their heads and looking completely confused, like they don't know what to do. It is an extreme amount but I'm sure they were still expecting me to hold out for more. But it's not needed, and neither are they. I can do this alone but if Christian wants help, to feed his ego, I wont stop him. Okay, maybe the notary is needed, but not the lawyer. Then again, Christian does have a lot of money so his lawyer is here to protect him, I guess.

While his lawyer is sitting dumbfounded, Christian is trying to hide his smile behind his hand. We've been here before, I may not be into business but I know how to negotiate.

"Alright," Christian agrees.

Since Christian has agreed, his lawyer begins typing on his laptop. A few minutes later and a machine is coming to life, printing out this new arrangement. His lawyer grabs the document, signs it then hands it to Christian to sign. Finally it is presented to me but I don't move to sign. Not yet. I forgot one very important detail.

"Ms. Steele." His lawyer gestures towards the paperwork, wanting me to sign.

"Also, I don't want Teddy around anyone we are involved with if it's not serious. And if it is serious, we are to let the other know before introducing Teddy to our significant other."

"What?!" Christian looses his control for a split second before he calms himself. "No. There will be no significant others."

"You can't tell me if I can or cannot date, it has nothing to do with you, just like I don't have a say in who you are involved with."

"An-"

"No," I sternly interrupt him. "I don't want an endless stream of women coming in and out of his life because his father chooses the company of a certain type of woman on the weekend. If you are to have him on a weekend and you are expecting company, I don't want them around Teddy. Maybe you can have him every other weekend to work around your needs."

It feels as if Christian is staring daggers into me with the glare on his beautiful face. I'm not sure if he's upset that I don't want those women around our son or if it's because I may have someone in my life that isn't him. Either way, he is not happy and this is the first time throughout this meeting that he has shown his discomfort.

I'm not planning on dating any time soon, but I may in the future. He is the one I'm worried about, though.

"Leave us." Christian dismisses the men.

"But, Mr. Grey-"

"I said, leave." Christian's tone isn't loud, but it is firm and demanding, not to be argued with.

Without saying another word, both men stand and exit the room.

"Anastasia, I don't want you involved with anyone other than me. I've told you I want you back and you're looking to find someone else?"

"I'm not looking to find anyone, Christian." I correct him.

"You're not looking, does that mean you've found someone?"

"No. Actually, it's you that I'm more worried about, bringing women around our son. But it's bound to happen, sooner or later, for both of us. I think we should agree to this now instead of fighting about it when it happens."

"I'm not involved with anyone, baby, I can't-" He suddenly stops.

"Christian, this doesn't mean anything other than what it is." I tell him. "You may not have anyone at this time, and neither do I, but that doesn't mean we wont in the future."

"But you're looking." I can hear the emotion he is trying desperately to hide.

"I'm not looking," I correct him again. "But I wasn't looking when I met you either and look what happened."

Crap, that's not helping. I need to calm him down, he looks ready to explode, fifty seconds away from going thermonuclear, and there is no reason for him to.

And there goes his signature hair pulling. I can only imagine how this will go if I ever do find someone that isn't Christian himself.

"I just don't want people in and out of his life, that's all. I'm not saying I met someone, and I'm not looking, I just don't want that for him. I know from experience what it's like and I don't want that for him."

Now I think he understands where I'm coming from because the tortured look is replace by a softer version. The pain is still there, but at least he doesn't look so upset anymore.

"I just, I thought you agreed to give us a second chance if I agreed to try."

"You haven't really done anything yet, though. Everything you've done so far isn't trying."

"Doesn't any of it count for something?"

"It's not what I was talking about when I said you have to be his father. It's not just about supporting him."

"I'm trying here, Anastasia, I'm not use to this, give me some credit."

"You're only trying because you want me back." I bite back.

Teddy is squirming and starting to wake so I take him out and hold him, rocking him back to sleep.

"Let's just take it one day at a time, okay." I say, wanting to end this argument.

We're both quiet while I get Teddy back to sleep.

"You're a natural." He insists, a slight smile playing on his lips as he watches me hold Teddy. It's the same look he gave me when I was giving Teddy a bath last night.

"I don't feel like I am." I admit. "I'm so overwhelmed and exhausted. It took me so long just to get ready for this meeting, I can only imagine how getting ready for work every morning will be."

"You don't have to work." He insists.

"Thank you for the offer, but I want to."

"Well, you look amazing if you ask me."

"I don't feel like I do."

When I look up at him, he is totally eye-fucking me. Maybe I do look better than I thought I did.

"It's a lot of work taking care of a newborn," I say to distract myself from that dark look he is giving me. "You're not the only one who doesn't know what they are doing, and it is just going to get more complicated when I do return to work. ... Ugh, that reminds me, I still have to find a sitter for him."

"I can help with that."

"You? Really?" I giggle, thinking about him finding a nanny.

"Of course. You want me to be more involved, I can do this. Leave all applications with me, I can have background checks done on everyone. You can never be too careful."

"Thank you."

"No one with so much as a parking ticket will get through," He assures me. "Taylor will be sure of it."

Taylor? Why can't he accept that he's doing this? Christian, not Taylor. Sure, Taylor may run the background checks, but it is because Christian tells him to.

"Teddy is the son of a very wealthy man." I repeat what he said last night, as a way of explaining why he has employees do things on his behalf.

"Exactly. It's one of the reasons I have security with you. By the way, I'm glad you accepted that."

"I understood where you were coming from." I shrug. "Bad things happen."

Now if only he could understand where I'm coming from.

"Anastasia, you have nothing to worry about." He tells me, sensing my mood change and thinking it's because I'm worried something bad will happen. "I will take care of you. I want to take care of you. Both of you. Believe me, I do."

Looking into his eyes, it's the first time I see it. He is struggling with his inner demons, internally fighting them. Part of him is saying not to do this, not to be a father, but the other part, the part only I have known is trying to prove he can.

I see him changing, it's slow going, but I believe he is. And I truly believe he wants his son. Especially when he is watching me with Teddy like he is now, like he was last night. I didn't realize it last night until now, but it is different than when he looked at us when we were at the hospital or that first day he walked in on me while I was feeding Teddy. He's changing. He may not know it himself, but he is.

He cares about us. Both of us. Not just me... Teddy, too.