Warnings: Some Syrus angst (I love to pick on the little guy), and a little peek into the home life of Lia. Can you pick up the hints?
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh GX
Year One: The Academic
Alexis' outburst worried him more than he'd like to have admitted. In the brief time he'd known the girl, Bastian had been under the impression that she was of the calm, collected sort that didn't let anything ruffle her feathers. Her 'cold as ice' persona was something of legend to those entering the school, and while he had been treated to her when she warmed up, there had always been a certain dignity to her manners that impressed him.
That tearful display was so out of character it made him shiver.
" How is she?" Bastian asked as he paused to let Lia catch up. The brunette nodded, breathing hard, doubled over on her knees. Bastian noted, with a slight smile, that the run had put some colour into her normally pale face and her cheeks were flushed with a healthy rose blush. She gulped in another helping of fresh air and right herself, brushing a pesky wisp of hair out of her eyes.
" Still crying, but calming down some." The girl glanced back to the Blue Dorms. " I guess that guy will take care of her." She frowned. " I hope."
" They seemed well acquainted." Bastian reassured, placing a hand on her shoulder. She stiffened, but he didn't remove it right away. He gave a light tug instead, and turned to continue walking down the path. He heard Lia start up after him a moment later. She matched his stride as they walked down in silence, Bastian admiring the view the noon-day sun was giving over the ocean to his side, and, from the heavy feeling around her, Lia stewing in her own thoughts.
" I wonder what Crowler offered him." She murmured finally, and Bastian almost answered her. But the voice of common sense told him that maybe she hadn't meant to say it out loud, and keeping quiet would be the best way to stay in her good graces. He winced as he remembered her viciousness toward Chazz.
' Better to not make an enemy of someone with a good right hook.' He joked to himself.
Lia glanced up at him expectantly, and he realized that maybe she had meant for him to hear her thoughts.
" Well, what do you think?"
He smiled at her.
" Why ask me?" He shrugged. " I wasn't there, I don't know Chazz."
" You're the only other person to ask." She said, staring steadily forward. " And aren't you supposed to be a genius?"
" In matters that have some semblance of structure to them." He laughed at the pout she gave him. " When it comes to understanding the human mind, I'm woefully ignorant. Besides," he shot her a look, " isn't this your field?"
" How so?"
" Beline Duressuscité, right?"
Lia froze, her entire body held taunt and stiff.
" H-How do you know my - that name?"
" I'm a follower of world discoveries." He said, walking casually by her, but looking at her out of his peripheral. She was very still, her mouth set in a grim line and her hands clenched into fists at her side. Bastian made a mental note that he should've found a more pleasant way to bring this subject up. But still, he supposed, as long as it was out in the open, he may as well pursue it.
" I read Destruction and Desolation: The Human Condition." He explained, willing the silent girl to respond. Lia had started walking again, but her steps were harsh, controlled and all together ill at ease, not the comfortable gate it had been only moments before.
" Not her best work, but still decent." He tried again. She blinked, and the scowl on her face loosened a little. He prodded at her a tiny bit more. " I actually preferred her latest book."
" Destruction and Desolation was written during the…a difficult time." Lia said, but though her voice was tight, her eyes had lost that hard edge Bastian had come to recognize as her automatic defense. " It was a bad period in her life…in all our lives. La Nature du Génocide was written just a few years ago, when life was a little bit brighter."
" What happened?" Bastian ventured, and was surprised to see Lia roll her eyes and sigh in exasperation.
" Gauvin."
" Who?"
Lia snorted and crossed her arms across her chest. She blew air from the side of her mouth at a sneaky piece of hair that was starting to fall back down into her face.
"Gauvin Vinécrasé." Lia said, but offered not further comment, even when Bastian motioned for her to continue. She increased her pace and walked steadily ahead, ignoring the confused look Bastian shot her as he hurried to catch up.
" Who-" he started, but Lia had apparently talked about her personal life enough for one night.
" Can we just drop it, please?" She asked, and under her biting tone, Bastian heard the quiet plea. Being the gentleman that his mother had raised him to be, he nodded, and saw, to some guilty satisfaction, the shoulders of the girl next to him relax noticeably.
" Before we got so woefully off track, what was it we were discussing?"
Lia visibly relaxed her whole body, and the grateful look she shot him when she thought he wasn't looking didn't exactly help the guilt swirling around in his gut at his still lingering curiosity.
" We were wondering what Crowler offered Chazz to make him agree to the deal." Lia shook her head. " I mean, even the Obelisks seem to hold Crowler in contempt. And Chazz thinks he's above everyone."
" So you're saying that there must have been something to make Chazz agree?"
" I'm just guessing here, but yeah." Lia tapped her index finger against her chin. " Why else would Chazz agree to work with Crowler of all people?"
" Common enemy?" Bastian offered, but Lia shook her head.
" Chazz wouldn't go to Crowler to get rid of Jaden." Abruptly, her eyes went very dark and the fist at her side clenched until the knuckles went white. " He'd be just fine taking on Jaden all by himself, provided there was somewhere he could hide the body."
" Morbid, aren't you?"
" You're the one who seems to know everything about my life. " She said in a thin voice. " So you should know the reason behind that."
" Right, dropping the subject."
" Thank you." Her tone was clipped.
" But then, if Chazz joined up with Crowler to bust you and the others, why did he let you and Chumley go?" Bastian shook his head. " If his outburst back there counts for anything, he hates you just as much as he hates Jaden, Syrus, and Chumley."
" He doesn't hate Syrus or Chumley." Lia murmured, rubbing her bottom lip. " Not really, anyway. He hates them because they're associated with Jaden, and so…"
" He hates them by extension."
" Right."
" But still," Bastian entreated, " why would he let you and Chumley go when he could've let Crowler catch you all."
There was a pause, before both Ra's stood ramrod straight and whipped around to look each other in the eye.
"Alexis!" The both shouted.
" It makes sense!" Lia stared, wide eyed with excitement. " Chazz likes Alexis, he didn't want her to get caught." She froze suddenly. " Oh wait, no."
" What's wrong? It's obvious Chazz didn't want Alexis to get caught and get in trouble, so he left to distract Crowler while you ad Chumley carried Alexis out."
" But Alexis is in Obelisk Blue." Lia looked at him despairingly. " And Crowler would never get any of his own students in trouble. His favouritism would never let him."
" Ah, but remember what Chazz said?" Lia's face was blank. " About her reputation?"
" It's going downhill?"
" Yes, and why is that?"
" Because…she keeps hanging out with…us?"
Lia made a gesture in the general direction of the Red Dorms with one hand, and used the other to point to herself and Bastian, a slightly confused look on her face. Taking pity on her situation (it was probably the second time someone had left her in the dark about their brilliant discovery), Bastian enlightened her.
" Yes, her reputation is going down because she's made some friends that defy the class system that seems to run rampant in this school."
" Class or caste?" Lia muttered.
" Anyway, Alexis is clearly defying some kind of…unwritten rules, and that is having a negative effect on her status."
" They're stupid rules!" Lia said with abrupt heat. She flushed as soon as the words had left her mouth, and turned her head away from Bastian's inquiring gaze.
"I agree, but they are still present." He agreed. " The point I'm making here is-"
" Yeah, yeah, Alexis didn't obey the rules and made friends with Slifers and an Academic."
Bastian gave a fake cough.
" And a know-it-all Ra."
" I should resent that, but I'm on too much of a roll to care." Bastian cupped his chin in his hand. " Alexis has been loosing favour with the more fanatical of the Blues, including, but certainly not limited to-"
" Crowler!" Lia shouted, snapping her fingers. Bastian moved to massage his temples once more.
" Could you stop interrupting me? It's making it hard to think."
" Huh?" Lia blink dazedly, obviously still stunned by the revelation. " Oh, yeah, sorry. Continue."
" Thank you." He coughed professionally. " Crowler is a firm believer that his dorm is better than any of the others, particularly the Red Dorm. Seeing as how Jaden beat him, he harbours an especially strong dislike for him, and anyone associated with him. That association has recently extended to include Alexis."
" Crowler might not have let her off." Lia concluded.
" Exactly. He would want to punish her for even being seen with anyone he believes she should consider beneath her. If he'd caught her with the rest of you, she'd probably have been given a lighter punishment than what Jaden and Syrus are facing, but a punishment nonetheless."
" To show her she shouldn't be hanging out with us."
" Precisely."
" That's sick." Lia wrapped her arms around herself, shivering. " That's just…it's sick. That people actually think that way…"
" That people believe we shouldn't be friends with our friends." Bastian hand his hand regretfully through his hair.
" I agree. There is no other way to describe it."
" It's just sick."
**_**
They eventually ran into a fleeing Syrus (literally; he ran full throttle into Lia's mid section), and Bastian ran ahead to find Jaden, shouting over his shoulder that Lia should try to calm Syrus (who was hiccupping and sobbing like a new born) down before he hurt himself. Lia had stood, shocked and silent, watching Bastian as he ran off, Syrus' blue hair just barely brushing her stomach. He was already pressed into her, his small arms still encircling her from when he had thrown them out to stop his fall. Bastian, smiling at her, called out that he'd be back with Jaden just as soon as he could.
Lia was helpless.
She wasn't the comforting type. She could console someone about as well as she could duel and that was not at all. She didn't know how to handle tears and crying and grief, because her own experience had been short and swift. Lia had never really had to deal with anyone's pain, not even her own, because she'd learned, a long time ago, that crying about something wasn't going to make anything better. Tears were not going change anything, weren't going to turn back time so the damage could be undone, weren't going to bring back whatever it was that had been lost. Whining about something wasn't going to fix things was what Lia had learned, and she applied to all aspects of her life, rationalizing her work ethic with the belief that her grief wouldn't change anything.
When confronted with someone who didn't share her ideals, Lia was decidedly less confident.
As Syrus pressed himself closer, wailing unintelligibly into the warmth of her sweater, Lia cast a desperate eye around for anyone who could get a handle on the situation. Had she been there, Lia was pretty sure she would've thrown the crying boy at Alexis and darted after Bastian as fast as her legs would allow her. To her extreme dismay, Alexis was probably crying on her bed in her dorm room, and was in no shape to offer a tissue to Syrus, let alone comfort. So it fell to the way-out-of-her-league Academic to give what limited grief counseling she had to the distraught boy.
" Um, Syrus?" She tried unsurely, looking down at the shivering bundle at her waist. It shifted slightly, and a red-rimmed silver eye peeked out at her from under blue bangs.
" We're kinda…in the middle of the road here, so if it's not too much trouble, could we, ah…could we…" Her vocabulary deserted her as she stared into his heart broken little face, " maybe …move…over there…by that tree?" She pointed sheepishly, and the boy trembled. Hastily, she took it back. "Only if you want to, of course! Only if you want to! If…If you want to stand in the middle of the road, and ball your eyes out, that's fine too."
A fresh wave of tears erupted from his eyes and Lia mentally slapped herself.
' Yeah, sarcasm really isn't going to be of much help here!' She snarled to herself. With a sigh, she coiled her arms around Syrus' shoulders, and lifted. She was nowhere near being strong, but Syrus weighed surprisingly little, small and suddenly unbearably fragile in her arms. She toddled over to the shade of one of the trees off the path, stumbling when Syrus' feet dragged along the dirt, unwilling or unable to help in the short journey. Any other day, Lia would have snapped at him, and told him to get up and walk, but something about his eyes, something lost and lonely in those watering silver eyes, stopped her.
" …I'll be alone again."
Muttering under her breath, but with no real malice in her tone, she half carried, half dragged the still shaking boy under the cover of the cool shade of the tree. Plopping Syrus down, the sudden shift of weight sent her falling to her knees, Syrus still attached to her middle. The fall made her dizzy, and she almost missed the tightened grip of the arms around her. She glanced down as her equilibrium returned to see Syrus inching his way up to her shoulder, murmuring quiet words that she could quite catch. That could be attributed to the fact that the instant she saw the blue mop of hair sliding steadily upwards, panic grabbed at her mind before she could stop it.
" Hey, hey, what do think you're doing?!" She put her hands on the crooks of his elbows and shoved, albeit gentler than she normally would have. " Quit it! Syrus, I mean it! Personal space, Syrus!"
She gave another push, but the boy just clung to her tighter. A warmth began to spread from where his face was buried in her shoulder over her chest, and then steadily up her neck. The faint rush of blood made her dizzy again, and she reached one hand over to grip the trunk of the tree as the heat made her cheeks burn softly, hidden under a curtain of her hair. Syrus murmured something else, and Lia's sense returned to her as she gave another yelp. The noise seemed to spur the boy into action, as he jumped back with a squeak, dried tear tracks glistening on his face.
" I-I'm s-s-sorry!" He stuttered, and Lia was reminded of the time in the hallway outside of the Campus Card Shop (she hadn't heard back from them; probably time to apply elsewhere). Syrus reached up to wipe his eyes. " I was just…I didn't mean to…I won't do it again, …I was just upset…I…I…"
" Said the same thing last time." Lia huffed, reaching down to straighten her jacket. Across from, Syrus gave a pitiful little moan.
" I can't do anything right, can I?"
The sheer self-hatred in his tone made Lia pause in her actions. She glanced up at him through her hair, taking in his slumped posture and defeated face, desolate, hopeless eyes staring at the ground. In a flash, another child, with hair pulled into a messy bun and downcast eyes, trying to control her tears, replaced the sniveling boy in front of her. Lia bit her bottom lip without realizing it, and reached up to fiddle with her hair.
" Don't say that." She said after a painful silence. " You just took me by surprise, that's all. Next time you…" she trailed off, unsure of what she was trying to convey. " ...Next time, just warn me, okay?"
" I'm sorry. "He sighed, and to Lia's horror, a fresh wave of tears flooded down his cheeks. " It's just…I'm upset…and I…well, I guess I…"
He looked away from her, over onto the dirt at his feet, seemingly unable to continue. When he found his voice again, it was barely a whisper.
" I just wanted a hug."
'What am I supposed to say to that?' Lia mused in helpless surrender. 'Je me détesterai pour toujours si je ne rends pas lui le sentir meilleur.'
With a defeated sigh, Lia crawled forward to where Syrus sat, crying quietly to himself. With one last mutter of disbelief in her native language, Lia reached over with unsure, but perfectly capable hands and drew the shaking body to her. Syrus let out a small yelp of surprise, but Lia ignored it in favour of wrapping her arms around the boy and pressing him against her own solid form. Syrus lay stiff in her arms for a moment, before he relaxed into her grip and leaned his face against her collarbone.
" Lia?" He ventured. And while the smile she offered him was a trifle forced (like she hadn't smiled sincerely in so long she'd forgotten how), her arms gave him a small squeeze.
" Wanna talk about it?"
**_**
Even after Lia dropped him off at his dorm, even after she'd held him (awkwardly and more sincerely than he'd ever been held in his life) as he cried out incoherent words of hate against his brother, the sick, twisting feeling of not being good enough was still churning around in his stomach. Even after the warmth of Lia's hand as she had guided him back to his dorm and her small smile as she told him to get some rest wasn't nearly enough to dispel the growing dread surging through his body. He lay, curling up in the blankets, gagging and trying to hold onto some of the fleeting courage that had given him the strength to tell the Ra girl that he hated (absolutely hated) his brother at certain times, even though he knew it was stupid and pathetic.
But the strength had left him with the last tear, and so instead of braving the outside world, like he was pretty sure a hero would be doing (if this were a movie, then he would have just had his 'dramatic pathos' scene with the kind, smart, stereotypical girl-next-door. And while Lia was smart, this was the kindest he'd ever seen her, and it had been tinged with the awkwardness she obviously felt when expressing sympathy).
He wallowed in his own despair, staring with blank eyes at the Power Bond card Jaden kept shoving into his hands the previous night when they'd all sat, tired and grateful, in a stone cavern bathed in blue moonlight. In the dim light and soft shadows, he'd felt worthy and strong, more than capable of using the card his brother had given to him. But in the cold light of the day, his bravado vanished like evaporating water, fizzling away into cowardice and stupidity under the heat of the sun.
He shook under the heavy blanket, slapping his hands over his ears in an effort to drown out the dismal visions of his failure at the tag team duel and Jaden's stunned, horrified face as he screwed everything up.
He pressed them even tighter as his brother's voice echoing damningly in his mind.
" I'll tell you why."
Syrus shuddered.
" Because he doesn't belong here."
" You're wrong!" Syrus shouted desperately to an empty room. He threw his gaze around frantically, seeking the source of his tormenter, cruel, dark words hissing in his ears.
"Am I?"
" You're wrong about me!" He shouted again, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes.
" No, I'm not. Who told you I was?"
" You're wrong, Jaden and Chumley and everybody says you're wrong!"
" And you believed them?"
" They're my friends!"
" They aren't your friends. They just pity you."
" No!" He shook his head, tears flying from his screwed up eyes. " No, you're wrong, you're wrong!"
" Just like everybody else pities you."
" No. No, no, no nononononononono." Syrus moaned to himself, sobbing helplessly, curled up in a ball on his bed.
" As if anybody would ever want to be your friend."
Syrus whimpered.
" After all, you're nothing but my failure brother."
" SHUT UP!"
Syrus threw himself off the bed, blankets flying upwards. He twisted around in a circle, glaring at every corner and shadow that played in the dimming light of the setting sun. He stood, panting and shaking in the center of the room, staring up at the ceiling.
" …You're pathetic."
With a broken wail, Syrus hurled himself at the door, fumbling around with the doorknob until he wrenched the door open and went flying out of the room, down the rickety stairs and onto the worn dirt path that led away from the dorm, his only thoughts whirling around the fact that he had to leave, had to get away, had to disappear before it all overwhelmed him.
He ran straight into a solid wall of muscle and tension.
The tears were blinding his visions and the sobs were shaking his torso so bad that he couldn't have straightened even if he'd wanted to. His entire body was convulsing with his tears and he was perfectly content to sit there in the dirt, wishing that the ground would just open so that he could vanish into it.
Any last restraints he still had on himself vanished as the figure towering above him spoke up.
" Hello Syrus."
Zane had come to visit.
Oh, I made myself cry! Syrus! Oh, sweetie, c'mere! Let MoS give you a hug.
Jaden: Um, MoS...-chan? Your arm is in a cast.
Not now Jaden, my maternal instincts are acting up!
Lia: Maternal instincts my ass. You just want to grope an anime character.
Jaden: A whatnow?
Lia! Ixnay on the aracterchay! Adenjay doesn't owknay!
Lia: Oh, yeah, like that's gonna fool him. As if!
Jaden: What are you guys talking about? You know I can't understand you when you stop speaking English!
Lia: (blink blink)...(facepalm) I give up. I just....I give up. (starts walking off) Damnit, I need a drink.
Jaden: You're under aged!
Lia: (Calls back) I'm also French, so shove it!
Well, isn't she in a pleasnt mood. (Gives a struggling Syrus a squeeze) So, let's do some translations, shall we?
Syrus: Can't breathe...Crazy girl...choking...
Eheheheh, ignore the depressed little boy, and focus in on the distract-I mean, translations. Yes. Translations. And nothing else. (shifty eyes)
La Nature du Génocide - Really? Okay then. The Nature of Genocide.
Je me détesterai pour toujours si je ne rends pas lui le sentir meilleur- I'll hate myself forever if I don't make him feel better. Oh, isn't Lia just adorable?!
I'll be alone again. - ...I take back every mean thing I ever said about her! Lia, I love you sweetie!
Lia: My eye is still throbbing from you showing your 'love' last week, thank you very much!
She loves me. Yes she does.
Beline and Gauvin - Ah, my first real delving into Lia's past. Can you guess who these fine peopple are? What their relationship with Lia is? What 'the bad time in our lives' was? G0o ahead, take a guess.
Lia: Yes, please, everybody speculate about my life. Nit like it's a private or painful thing to me, oh no, not at all.
Syrus: For God's sakes...help me...
(Squeezes) So cute! - Euhm, I mean, I didn't hear anything. Nope nothing at all. No desperate gasps for help, waht are you talking about? Eheheheh. Heheh. ...Heh.
Syrus' freak out featuring Zane: Oh, you'll never know how much fun that was to write. I love getting into the heads of people in those kinds of situations. Syrus is simply the perfect bully victim, and Zane is the perfect bully. But each of them has their own reasons behind the way they act, and it's so fun to get into those reasons and flesh them out. Expect more of this. Expect me to go in deep with this. I am going to milk this for all it's worth before I have to turn Zane evil for Year Two (Oh, God, just imagine how much fun I'm going to have with that!)
Other than that, please leave a review (feed a would-be author's ego, will you? Pretty please?), and I honestly hoped you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Tune in next week for the confrontation of the Trusedale broither! (God, I sound like a crappy narrator)
MoS
