The Adventures of Henry Bemis
Or The Whale
Henry Bemis is now part of his own motorcycle gang. He has a motorcycle and a potato gun…what would you do?
Chapter 11. Henry Bemis is a One Man Gang
Henry Bemis was pretty darn pleased with his status as a motorcycle gang. He got to ride anywhere he wanted to and do anything he wanted to. Henry's new modus vivendi was a new experience for him. He had never dreamt of being able to ride around on a motorcycle and shoot at inanimate objects with a potato gun.
One day as Henry Bemis was motorcycling down the long dirt road that he had followed to Willoughby when he stopped. Up ahead was the same crossroads he had seen when he had stopped to determine which town he would visit.
"Why…this is the same crossroads where I decided to go to Willoughby! What a mistake that was. I must correct this mistake!" Henry made his motorcycle roar up to the four signposts. "The Frozen Place, Canada. Washington DC, America. Nowhere, USA. Willoughby, USA. Let's see. Nowhere is surrounded by man-eating lizards and Willoughby is full of zombies. That leaves two more places I want to, or probably should, visit." Henry got off his bike and began to think. He could go to The Frozen Place or Washington DC. Of course he could always go somewhere totally different but he figured he'd keep trying all the towns at this crossroads.
"I think…maybe I should go to Washington DC? No. Nothing is at Washington DC, really. That leaves…The Frozen Place!" Henry pulled out his potato gun and shot the sign that read Nowhere, USA. That sign fell over and then he shot the one with Willoughby, USA on it. That, too, got knocked down.
"There we go. I have now marked off all the cities I have visited. Now I will go to The Frozen Place!" Henry jumped onto his motorcycle and roared off, northwards and towards The Frozen Place.
And so many days and nights passed as Henry Bemis traveled to the north. He drove on several unpaved roads and several highways that were littered with damaged cars and debris. He also drove into several ghost towns full of more dead cars and blown up buildings. It was during this time that Henry Bemis finally learned what being the last living person in the world really meant. It was awesome!
Every time he drove into a ghost town he would shoot at windows, trashcans and signposts with his potato gun.
But eventually Henry got to The Frozen Place. And, just like the name said, it was a very frozen place.
The 'place' was actually a small town, just like Willoughby. It was in the middle of a deep valley full of pine trees. There was snow everywhere! It was constantly snowing. Henry checked a thermostat when he got into town and saw that the temperature was –20 degrees Fahrenheit outside.
"Wow. This place really is frozen! It's constantly snowing, the temperature averages –20 degrees and the wind chill is usually in the negatives. Dang this place is cold!" Henry Bemis looked around the town. It looked modern, with gas stations and fast food restaurants and apartments and…bookstores! Henry had forgotten how much he loved reading. He had been caught up in so much excitement with escaping from the lizards and interpreting dreams and going to Willoughby and getting attacked by zombies during a thunderstorm and finding a motorcycle and driving around that he hadn't picked up a book in a long time.
"I'm going to go check out that bookstore!" Henry started driving in the direction of a large half-bookstore, half-café type of building.
But something went terribly wrong.
What Henry Bemis saw made him push on the motorcycle's breaks so hard he almost went flying off it.
At the end of the road he was on was a group of figures. But these were no ordinary figures! They were all standing on electric scooters, holding hockey sticks. Henry pulled up a bit closer and saw that these figures were penguins! Penguins wearing hockey masks and hockey jerseys, holding hockey sticks and riding scooters!
"Penguins? Are you a scooter gang?" Henry looked at the group of penguins. There had to be at least fifteen of them standing there. The leader penguin, which had an eye patch under its hockey mask, rode forward on his little scooter and nodded. Henry saw its jersey had a picture of a penguin holding a hockey stick on it. Beneath this picture were the words "The Only Scooter Gang In The World!"
"Okay. Well I'm Henry Bemis, the only motorcycle gang left in the world!" Henry pointed to his black-and-green motorcycle and his potato gun. The eye-patch penguin seemed unimpressed. Henry saw that it also had a nametag. The nametag said "Pepe" on it. "Pepe? Do you pronounce that like pay-pay?" The penguin with the eye patch nodded. One by one the other penguins came driving forwards on their scooters. Henry got a good look at their nametags. Finally, he knew what each penguin was called. They were: Pepe, Club, Shotgun, Uzi, Machete, Knife, Nail, Grenade, Napalm, Pistol, Cannon, Saw, Sledgehammer, Boulder and Bazooka. They were covered with a myriad of scars and burns and looked like the roughest, toughest group Henry Bemis had ever seen. The one called Nail had several long, rusty nails going through his hockey stick. Saw had sharpened the sides of his stick. Knife had sharpened just the end.
"So Pepe is your captain, then there's Knife, Club, Bazooka, Grenade, Nail, Napalm, Saw, Sledgehammer, Uzi, Machete, Boulder, Shotgun, Pistol and Cannon? Good. I think I got it down.
Then the leader, Pepe, handed Henry Bemis a sheet of paper. Henry read it.
"You are on our turf. The turf of The Only Scooter Gang In The World. If you don't get your sorry punk-ass out of here we will beat you to death and then play hockey, using your head as the puck. Pepe." Henry Bemis looked at the penguins in horror. Pistol raised his hockey stick threateningly.
"Uhh…what if I don't leave? You see I don't really have anywhere to go." Mr. Bemis looked into the eye of Pepe, the leader. He wondered how something so cute and cuddly could be so malevolent and bloodthirsty. Then Pepe handed him another piece of paper. "Prepare-to-die. That sounds awfully harsh, don't you think?" Mr. Bemis looked up and saw the penguins jumping on theirs scooters! One of them, Saw, came puttering towards Henry, swinging his sharpened hockey stick over his head.
"Can't we all just get along? I just want to go to a bookstore!" Henry Bemis knew that there was no getting out of this. He pulled out his potato gun and stuck a potato in it. Then he drove off, moments before Saw could hit him with a hockey stick.
Not knowing where to go, Henry Bemis sped off away from the scooter gang.
But something went terribly wrong.
One of the penguins, Uzi, managed to speed up on his scooter and was now neck and neck with Henry! Uzi raised his hockey stick and hit Henry Bemis over the head with it.
"Ouch! Stop that!" Henry Bemis slowed down and Uzi sped past him. Henry stopped momentarily and raised his potato gun. Bang! Just as Uzi turned around on his scooter, Mr. Bemis fired off his potato gun and the potato went flying and hit Uzi right in the face, sending his hockey mask flying. Uzi cried out in pain and Henry Bemis reloaded with another potato. "Come on…!" Henry aimed the gun at Uzi again.
But something went terribly wrong.
Before Henry Bemis could fire, Knife and Saw sped up behind him and started swiping at him with their hockey sticks! Henry hit Knife with the barrel of the potato gun, and then kicked Saw, who fell off of his scooter.
"That's it. You shouldn't have messed with Henry Bemis!" Henry took aim with his potato gun and fired. The potato went soaring through the cold, snowy air and hit Knife in the back. Knife fell forward on his scooter and went spinning out of control! Henry watched as Knife and his scooter went zooming forwards for a couple yards before driving straight into a ditch and crashing. Henry turned around again and saw that Saw was running towards him, waving his hockey stick. Henry drove off, spraying slush and snow into the penguin's face. Once he was a good ways down the road, Henry Bemis turned back and looked for any of the penguins. "Where is everybody?" He couldn't see any penguins behind him. Had he scared them off? "I guess this was too much Henry Bemis for them to handle!" Henry Bemis laughed to himself and turned around, but what he saw made him stop laughing.
At the end of the road that Henry Bemis and his motorcycle were on, the entire gang of penguins was lined up. Knife and Saw had new scooters.
"Well. What do you know, I DIDN'T scare them off!" Mr. Bemis took aim at Pepe with the potato gun. He could squeeze off one shot and take down their gang leader. "If you don't leave me alone, I'm going to start firing!" Henry yelled. The penguins didn't listen. Instead, all of them started driving down the road towards Henry on their scooters. "Fine. You don't want to listen. That's cool!" Henry shot the potato gun. The potato arched through the air and began to fall back down towards the ground. It fell and smacked Pepe right on the top of his head! Pepe fell backwards off his scooter and the other penguins stopped to make sure he was okay. As they were doing this, Henry Bemis reloaded his gun and started motorcycling towards the penguin scooter gang. As he drove by them, he unloaded three potatoes into their midst. Pepe got knocked down again, so did Boulder and Bazooka.
But something went terribly wrong.
Machete grabbed his hockey stick and threw it like a boomerang towards Henry Bemis! It spun through the air and hit the back of Henry's neck.
"Ow! No!" Henry fell forward and the motorcycle started wobbling back and forth. He sat back up and straightened it out. Henry Bemis looked behind him and saw the penguins were already after him again. "I know what I'll do…" Henry slowed down and stopped the motorcycle right in front of a fireworks store. He reloaded and took aim at the penguins. They were getting really close, and he had to execute this perfectly if it would work. He had read a scene like this in a book a while ago. The hero had been standing right in front of a fireworks store and a motorcycle gang was driving towards him, and then he…Henry knew what he did.
"Man…those scooters sure go fast!" Henry fired off his potato gun and hit Sledgehammer. He kept reloading and kept firing. Soon, the entire gang was swerving everywhere in the flurry of potatoes. Henry knelt down and pulled out another homemade Bemis cocktail he had kept since his encounter with the lizards. Hopefully this would work like he wanted to. But what if it didn't?
Henry put his backpack on and hopped on his motorcycle, holding and firing his potato gun in one hand and holding the Bemis cocktail in the other. The penguins were still swerving around and getting pelted by potatoes. They were only a couple yards when Henry threw the cocktail at the ground near his feet and took off with his motorcycle. He sped to the side of the road and stopped. Then he got off his motorcycle and watched the amazing spectacle that was about to unfold.
One by one, the penguins drove right into the fiery spot that had been created on the road where Henry Bemis had thrown the Bemis cocktail. Their scooters and jerseys caught fire, and they started driving around and burning. Machete, Knife, Saw, Napalm and Pistol drove forwards and right into the fireworks store, not knowing where they were going! There were a couple seconds where nothing happened. There was nothing from inside the store. Then the entire place stared going off like a fireworks display.
There was an explosion and several long tails of colored light shot out of the fireworks store. Then sparks, flames and lights came shooting out of the front door. Finally, the entire roof got shot into the air in a big old explosion of fireworks. Firecrackers, rockets and everything else was going off all at once!
The penguins that were on fire didn't see this, but they eventually got extinguished in the snow and managed to scooter off towards the center of the city. Henry had taken down five of the fifteen thugs with one well-planned move. The score was Henry Bemis: 5, Penguins: 0.
"Yeah. I told you…you shouldn't mess with the Henry Bemis!" Mr. Bemis waved his gun towards the retreating penguins. He squeezed off a couple warning shots that went over their heads.
But something went terribly wrong.
Several days later, as Mr. Bemis was exploring the small, snowy town he came across the remnants of the penguin gang. There was still Pepe, Sledgehammer, Cannon, Club, Uzi, Boulder, Bazooka, Grenade, Nail and Shotgun. Henry found them one day when he was driving down an alleyway between two department stores. He was just driving down this long, twisting alleyway and all of a sudden these ten penguins dropped down out of nowhere and started beating him with their hockey sticks!
"Oh no! Not again! Why don't you…just…go…away?" Henry hit Sledgehammer with his backpack and then started retreating back towards the beginning of the alley. Along the way, Bazooka grabbed onto the front of the motorcycle and started trying to get at Henry Bemis. Mr. Bemis stopped the motorcycle and Bazooka fell off. He stood back up and looked at Henry Bemis. "Alright, we'll do things your way!" Henry accelerated on the motorcycle right towards Bazooka. Then he hit him with a thud and sent the poor penguin flying into the air. Bazooka fell back down and Henry ran him over with the motorcycle! There was a bit of a squishing sound as the penguin got run over, but Henry Bemis didn't pay attention to it. Now it was Henry Bemis: 6, Penguins: 0.
"Now what?" Henry drove out and was once again in The Frozen Place's streets. This town wasn't that great. He looked behind him and saw the penguins were once again on their scooters, emerging from the alley. "You guys just won't give up, will you?" Henry shot Sledgehammer with his potato gun, then drove off away from the penguins.
"I need to get out of here! This stupid scooter gang won't give up until I'm chased out of town!" Henry started driving towards the edge of town. He had to get out of this place!
Henry Bemis is in for the ride of his life in…
Chapter 12. Henry Bemis in Bat Country
