A/N: 06/24/2015 Wow. Only two more chapters until Part II's over. Can you believe it?
Thank you annie, elfielovesbooks, loveshay199, TheBlackAndRedSpirit, and MoonPrincess623 for your reviews. They are much appreciated :)
Reading Time:
if you're fast: 8 mins or less.
if you're slow: 14 mins or less.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games.
Chapter eleven: Flood to Wave~
Katniss sits on the beach, admiring the sunset with Peeta as the others tend to themselves a ways down the shore.
She plays with the pearl in her hands, rolling it between her digits and covering it with countless fingerprints as she memorizes the feel and texture of it. She still feels the sting of Finnick's words, an unpleasant feeling tainting her otherwise cool demeanor like a drop of ink in a bowl of water. She glares at the sand beside her, feeling nothing but hatred for the tiny, unfeeling particles that are obliviously unaware of her unfounded opinion on them. She wishes they would burst into flames.
"I think we should go," she says suddenly, turning her head to look at Peeta.
It was true. They should go. It was only smart, considering that once the threat of the Careers was out of the way it would be three against two, and the chances of them surviving against hardened veterans of the Games was unlikely. And besides, she doesn't like these people. She doesn't want to have to deal with their hurtful words and annoying attitudes and grating voices and confusing behaviors anymore. She just can't.
"Why?" Peeta asks. "The plan...it's gonna work."
He's referring to Beetee's idea to take the copper wire he'd obtained and wrap it around the lightning tree, trailing the coil through the jungle and into the ocean where the lightning can travel along it and fry everything in its path when it strikes, thus killing the Careers. She herself has no doubt in her mind that it will work, Beetee being the genius that he is. But then of course, it's not the possibility of failure that she's referring to.
"I know it will," she says, clarifying herself. "But when the Careers are finally dead we both know what's gonna happen next."
She doesn't elaborate on what she's insinuating, and she doesn't need to either. Peeta knows what she's talking about, and looks down at the sand and plays idly with his fingers.
"...Well what if it doesn't end like that?" He whispers, not looking at her. "What if we all refuse to kill each other?"
She shakes her head. "We would still be dead."
"Maybe not," he insists, looking earnestly at her. "I mean...if it worked for us last time, why wouldn't it work now?"
"We barely survived the last time, Peeta. Two Victors? Have you ever heard of such a thing? That's crazy enough as it is! Do you really think they'll let five Victors come out of the Games unharmed?"
She doesn't want to be cruel, but she needs to squash the unrealistic hopes he has going through his head. He'll only be disappointed in the future.
"There's only going to be one person walking out of here alive," she says softly. "And it's going to be one of us."
She almost says 'you', that it's going to be you that walks out of here, but she knows that if Peeta knew about her deal with Haymitch to get him out of the Quell alive he would do everything in his power to rail against it and make sure that didn't happen. It's admirable, how deeply he seems to care for her, but also a weakness. And there can be no room for weakness in the Games.
"Look, the Careers are still out there right now," Peeta reasons. "We should at least stick with these guys until midnight. And...when we hear the first cannon...we go."
She stares at him quizzically, surprised at his intellect, and sees that he is one hundred percent sincere in his words. She turns her head to look at Johanna and Beetee, sitting and talking on the beach further down the shore, and thinks about how she wouldn't be able to bring herself to kill Beetee, but that Johanna would probably have no problem with it. And yet there they were, sitting and talking like old friends, like they're not about to fight each other to the death in just a few hours.
She shifts her gaze to Finnick, who has resumed his place on the shoreline, and her gaze hardens to daggers as she stares at his unsuspecting back. She wants to leave now, to get as far away from him as possible and let Johanna sink her axe into him at the first stroke of midnight, but knows that Peeta's plan is safer and makes more sense. And she's not about to drag him into the far reaches of the jungle and risk him becoming Career bait.
She turns to Peeta and nods her agreeance, letting her features soften as she looks into his eyes before turning her attention back to the black pearl in her hand.
"...You know," Peeta says suddenly, his voice just above a whisper. "I know you probably made some kind of deal with Haymitch, but he made me promises too."
She looks at him, slightly alarmed that he might know what she'd made their Mentor promise, but he continues to go on and say, "If you died, and I lived? I wouldn't...I'd have nothing. There's no one else that I care about."
Their conversation is getting deep, and she doesn't like it. Peeta has always been one to share his inner thoughts with her, so it's nothing new, but it also doesn't make it any less uncomfortable for her to feel like she has to play along in order to spare his feelings.
"Peeta..."
"No," he says, cutting her off. "I'm serious. It's different for you. You have a family that needs you. You have to live. For them."
Images of Prim and Gale and her mother flood her mind, and she struggles to find a reason for him to live in her stead that won't give her away.
"But...but what about you?"
He smiles at her, a slow, soft smile that's both loving and bittersweet, and whispers, "No one needs me."
She stays silent for a few moments, and he turns his head away to stare out at the water and the sky, thinking he's made his point, when suddenly she says-
"I do."
He turns back to her, surprise and shock written all over his face, and she feels the need to reiterate her words, to cement them into his mind and make them official. The Capitol is probably loving this right now.
"I do," she says again, more concrete. "I need you."
The light in his eyes is so bright she thinks she may have sparked a bonfire within them, and he's slowly leaning forward before she can have the time to panic and back away. He kisses her, soft and slow, and though there's no spark in her stomach or fireworks in her chest, it's not unpleasant either. It's...sweet. And innocent. And everything else that Peeta is.
Though she feels terrible for letting him misinterpret her words' meaning, she can't bring herself to ever crush that light behind his eyes, the spark of hope and delight at hearing something he never thought would pass her lips, and even if she could it's too late now. She is fully submerged in the dangerous waters she's been skimming for almost a year, and there's no going back.
And besides, she tells herself, life with Peeta wouldn't be so bad. Having someone to constantly be by her side, to love and protect her and keep the nightmares away, would be far more than she ever saw herself deserving in this life. And she would rather be with someone that truly appreciated her than someone who sent mixed messages and had to keep their relationship a secret. She kisses Peeta harder, wanting to lose herself in his innocence and forget the time she's spent in the company of others less cherishing of her, and he doesn't protest as he brings a hand up to stroke her hair.
"Alright, love birds!"
They break apart, both blushing at the fact that they've been caught, most of all by Johanna, and neither look at each other as they wipe their mouths and turn away.
"Come on, let's go! We gotta make it to the tree before midnight!"
She and Peeta get up from their spots and dust themselves free of sand, and move to join Johanna and Beetee as they prepare to head into the jungle.
Finnick is walking up from his place on the shoreline at the same time they are, and she can tell by the look in his eyes and the set in his jaw that he's not happy. Their eyes lock as they converge with Johanna and Beetee, and the closed off, hardened look he gives her tells her everything she needs to know; he saw.
She feels a pang of guilt at having pushed him aside in favor of Peeta, but it passes as quickly as it hits her and the wave of anger she feels crashing through her chest afterwards gives her the strength to withhold any sorrow or remorse for her actions. She has no reason whatsoever to feel bad about kissing her fiancée, least of all because she hurt someone who had already hurt her tenfold.
She breaks her gaze from him and walks purposefully forward, keeping beside Peeta as they enter the jungle, and as they slowly make their way to the lightning tree she wonders if the sight of she and Peeta together killed him a little inside, if it stings him as badly now as his words had done to her then.
She hopes it does.
They make it to the tree with no complications, and Katniss is thankful.
The way there had been stressed, but she was sure that it was only tangible between Finnick and herself and had done little to affect the others, for which she is grateful. The last thing she would want now is to have others suffer because of her pointless quarrel with one of their teammates.
Beetee walks up to the tree and inspects it, marveling at its design. "Impressive conductor. Look here, you can see that there's minimal charring."
He points here and there along various spots on the tree, but soon realizes that his knowledge is lost on their uneducated minds, and with Wiress gone there is no one else to share his enthusiasm for science. He gives up his attempts at 'wowing' them and awkwardly pushes at his glasses. "Aherm, right, well...let's get started."
They continue along with their plan and wrap the wire around the tree, circling it countless times as they make sure it's tightly secured to the wide trunk. She's glad that the tree is so huge, otherwise she would have to deal with Finnick's hard looks and sour attitude, and she doesn't want to do that.
"A lightning strike typically contains five billion Jules of energy," Beetee drones. "So when this thing hits we don't want to be anywhere near it."
He stops what he's doing to hand Katniss the coil containing the remaining spool of wire. "You two girls take this," he instructs, looking between her and Johanna. "Unspool it carefully, make sure it doesn't get caught or snagged on anything, and be sure to submerge the entire coil in the water. Then head to the tree at the two O'clock wedge, we'll meet you there. Do you understand?"
Katniss nods, because she does understand, but she also feels the need to question his orders. She can't quite put her finger on it, but she feels as though she should say something to challenge him as a pool of uncertainty sits itself in her stomach.
Luckily for her Peeta steps forward, one step ahead of her as he questions Beetee on his own. "Why don't Finnick and Johanna stay here and Katniss and I can take the coil?"
Beetee's disapproval is immediate. "No. No, no, no. No, I need you here to protect me...a- and the tree."
She and Peeta exchange looks, now clearly getting the feeling that something's wrong, and Peeta tries once again to protest as he tries to corner Beetee.
"No, I need to go with her. We're a team, we stick together."
"There are two Careers out there," Beetee interjects. "Thus, I need two guards."
"Finnick can protect you all by himself," Peeta counters, and Katniss joins in.
"Yeah, I don't see why Finnick and Johanna can't stay with you while Peeta and I take the coil."
Beetee swallows, nervously looking between them as he jumps to his last line of defense. "Look; you all agreed to keep me alive until midnight, correct?"
"Yeah," Johanna says, tone accusing. "It's his plan and we all agreed to it. Are you suddenly gonna bail on us now just because you and your star-crossed lover might have to split up?"
Katniss gapes at her, speechless, and Finnick decides to join in on the group discussion at the last possible second.
"Is there a problem here?" He asks, though he's only looking at her.
Katniss tries to hold her own against the intensity of his stare, but finds that she is unable to do so under the current circumstances, and she has to look away. And suddenly she feels guilty for even speaking up, and she can't remember how to formulate words or why she thought to question Beetee in the first place. She blinks rapidly under the pressure she's put under by the others, and though she knows Peeta is waiting for her to say that 'yes, there is a problem', she does just the opposite.
"...No." She says, shaking her head as she struggles to lift her eyes and face him. "No, there's no problem."
Finnick's face is just as scrutinizing as before as she stares at him, and Peeta's is decorated in pure surprise.
Feeling brazen, she walks up to Peeta and kisses him, letting the contact between their lips last deliberately longer than necessary, and looks as deeply into his eyes as she possibly can as she whispers, "I'll see you at midnight."
He nods, smiling that small smile he does when he's a little unsure but inexplicably happy, and she relishes in the rush of satisfaction that floods her veins as she sees Finnick turn away from the sight of their display.
She takes the coil and joins Johanna a few meters away, and the two start their journey back to the Cornucopia with the copper wire. She takes one last look at Peeta before he disappears from her line of sight, imprinting the image of his face into her mind as she fears this may be the last time she sees him.
And little does she know, she's right.
