In a darkly lit room, deep in a sub-basement, an elevator opened. Three figures, two of which were in white uniforms, stepped out. They walked over to a corridor blocked by a gate. One man showed his ID badge to a camera nearby and the gate opened. The trio walked down the corridor. Large, very solid steel doors lined the hallway. Behind each door one could hear the mumblings of madness and the screaming of psychopaths. The trio came to the end of the hall. They stood before an especially large iron door, adorned with religious symbols and charms. To the left,
a card reader hung. One of the men in uniform slid his card through, and the door opened. They entered the room and the door closed behind them. The room was a fairly large square one, roughly 80 feet in every dimension. The room was brightly lit, revealing alot of medical equipment, monitors, wires, and cameras. In the center of all this mess was a bed attached to many gears,
wheels, and wires. The occupant was wrapped up in hard casts covering his entire body and most of his face. A bronze grill plate covered his mouth. His eyes were left uncovered. Chains were wrapped around the figure,
securing him to the table. Ki-dampeners were also there, throbbing steadily. The managers of this place had apparently known who they were dealing with. They seemed to take every precaution to make sure this man didn't rampage. "Vissssssitooorsss?" The figure hissed. "Yeah," one of the uniformed men said, "and don't try anything funny." The bed whirred as it was raised to a 45 degree angle. "Whooooooo?" "Happousai, it's me, Ranma."
"Raaaaanmaaa, sssssooo niiiice tooo heeeaar frooom youuu." "Oh, this is classic," Ranma said. He took out the camera he had borrowed from Nabiki and took several photographs. "Youuu liiitle iiiingraate." "Listen, Happousai, I need to know-"
"Paaaaaantiiiiieeees." "What?" "Iiii caan smeelll theem. Muusst haavvve paaaaaaaaantiiiiiieeees." "I need you to tell me what happened to you." "Muuuuust haaaaave paaantieeees." Ranma sighed. It seemed that Happousai's lechery came through no matter how badly he was banged up. "Answer my questions, and I'll bring you some, okay?" Happousai's eyes narrowed. "Asssk." "Did Ryo Muhoshin do this to you?" Happousai's eyes flared slightly at the mention of that name. "Yesssss." "He didn't just get a lucky hit in while you were stupidly distracted by underwear, did he?" "Noo." Happousai replied. Then, he stared intensely at Ranma. "Youu mussst deeeefeeeaaat Muuhossshin... deffend honnnor off Annythiing Goooessss... err... musssst haaave paaaaaantiiieeeesss." Ranma stood up, turned around, and walked towards the door, accompanied by the two men in white medical outfits. "Waaaaaiiiit! Wheere'ss myy PAAAANTIIIIEEEESS?" "Sorry, old man. I lied." "RAANNMMAAAA!" Happousai screamed. He flared with ki-power, and the ki-dampeners struggled to neutralize this display of power. The chains rattled and shook as he tried to escape from their grip. The trio quickly left the room and entered the elevator. "RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAA!" Happousai roared, struggling against his restraints. The yell was heard even in the elevator. Then, having spent the last of his stored up energy on that failed attempt to escape, Happousai passed out. Ranma turned to one of the hospital staff and asked, "How badly injured was he when he got here?" "Oh, he had plenty of injuries. His ribcage was shattered, his backbone was a mess, he had two bruises on his head, and he had electrical burns too. "Can I have a copy of the medical report?" "Just ask the front desk."
Kodachi twirled her ribbon, laughing a little bit. She adjusted her nightgown. "Well, Mister Muhoshin, I must admit, you give a girl a good workout."
she said, grinning wickedly. "After all our activity, I feel so...
satisfied." She leaned against the wall, stretched her arms back and put them behind her head. Ryo mumbled weakly, struggling to get off the floor. "You lasted much longer than I thought you could, and certainly longer than anyone else I've ever done this with. Your endurance is amazing." "Thankyahhargh." Ryo mumbled. "I must thank you for a most entertaining evening, but now I'm afraid you've just got to leave. Goodbye." She wrapped up Ryo with her ribbon and flung him out the door. Ryo slowly got up and limped down the street, using his umbrella as a walking stick. He was scratched up, bruised, whipped, and generally not feeling well. That Kodachi girl turned out to be quite the violent type. He felt he _should_ have been able to get away from that situation...
but... but... whenever scantily clad, rather seductive women came his way,
he admitted to himself, he did fall apart.
Ukyou got her medical kit and returned to the attic to check on Ryouga. Unfortunately, Ryouga was in that stage of post-drunkeness where he was once again depressed. He was lying on the floor looking miserable. "Why coooouldn't I tell her, huh? I *hic* jus din't have th'guts *hic*
thaz what!" He sat there on the floor, looking glum. Ukyou kneeled before Ryouga. "How'd you get these cuts and bruises, sugar?"
"Ku- *hic* Kunou showed up. Hit me lots an lots an lotsa times. Funny, though, din't feel ah thing." "Oh Ryouga, why'd you have to get drunk? You idiot."
"Iuh... I know, Ryoooouga th'wimp. Spineless. Right. If ah haaad any guh... guh.. guts, Ida gone riiight up to Akane, yessir." "Come on, Ryouga, stop torturing yourself." She held an alcoholic rub and started cleaning up his cuts, beginning with the cuts on his face. She waited for the customary yelp of pain that happens whenever someone's cuts get treated with alcohol but to her surprise he didn't flinch. "Ida gone up to her... an... oh Akane..." He said, suddenly sitting upright and grabbing, Ukyou by the shoulders. "Ryouga! What are you doing!" "Akane, lissen up. I luv you!"
"Hey!" Ukyou yelled. She was taken entirely by surprised when Ryouga zoomed up to her face and gave her a full-blown kiss on the lips. "Yezzir, jus like that. Tha's wha I shoulda done." Ryouga said, as he let her go. "Ryouga... you... you..." "Hey, yu arn't Akane! Oh well, wasstill a good kiss, wadn't it? I *hic* mean, Iuh don' ged much practissse." A multitude of emotions crossed Ukyou's face. First shock, then sadness, followed by anger, and topped off by violent fury. "You... you... YOU JACKASS!" She yelled, hammering him with the hundred hand slap. Then she reared back, took aim, and yelled "MEGATON PUNCH!" Spittle and blood went flying as Ukyou connected with a mean right uppercut. Ryouga passed out immediately.
Fuming mad, Ukyou stomped back down to the resteraunt, leaving Ryouga to sleep the dreamless (and bruised) sleep.
[Mid-November: Thursday Morning]
Ryouga woke up very slowly. Even though his eyes were closed, it seemed really, really bright. He could hear the breeze blowing outside,
the people walking by, the blood flowing through his head... his head...
His head felt like it was going to explode.
Ryouga knew this feeling, although he hadn't had one in a long time. This was a hangover. "WAAAAAKE UUUUUP!" The wakeup yell rattled deep into his soul, echoed in his head, and made his headache fundamentally worse. He yelled in surprise and thus boosted his headache even further.
"Rggarargh" he grumbled. Then, his eyes bolted open, he covered his mouth, and he ran for the sink.
*BLEEEAACH*
"Here," Ukyou said, whapping his face with a towel. He was feeling too ill to take offense. Ryouga splashed water on his face, dried himself off, and sat back down on the floor. Then his body decided to give to his brain the current status report. He felt cuts, bruises, a sore jaw, and a massive headace. Also, the world wouldn't stop spinning. "Ouch. What happened to me." He closed his eyes. "You came home drunk last night." "And you beat me up again?" he wondered.
*WHAP* "Ya mean like this?"
"Ow..."
"Think before you talk, you jackass."
"Sorry, sorry, owww."
"And no, I didn't hit you. Kunou did that, or so you said." "Oh." Ryouga searched his brain for this information, but it had been trashed as part of a massive alcohol induced power-surge. "But if you ever do this again, I'm gonna kill you." Ryouga opened his eyes to look at Ukyou. {Uh-oh, she looks mad. Almost as mad as Akane used to be at Ranma...} Ryouga closed his eyes again. "Um... did I do... anything stupid yesterday?" "You don't remember?" "Not really." Ukyou thought over what she would say next, tapping her chin, with her face held in a frown. "Let's just keep it that way. C'mon, we'll be late for school."
Mousse was feeling good. He had his legal arguements and precedents all layed out. He was ready to finally defeat Cologne in the Amazon Legal Council hearing. The council was due to arrive at any moment. The main thing was, for once, _he_ was on the winning side of things.
This was, of course, something very new to him.
Shampoo and Cologne waited behind the counter. Mousse examined Cologne and was dissapointed to see that she displayed an air of confidence. Did she have a plan? He wondered. The front door opened. "Ah, welcome! How was the trip?" asked Cologne. Mousse looked on in shock and horror as the council entered. That old feeling, the feeling of being on the loosing side of matters, was all coming back to him, like an old friend that just won't go away when you want him to. Definitely a curse, but oddly enough, somewhat comforting.
At least, he thought, he was in familiar territory again.
Gosunkugi was walking home in a dark mood. He had finally heard of the news about Akane, which left him feeling a little lonelier than usual. He didn't have the strength to fight on after that bit of news. Akane made her choice, right? Gosunkugi wasn't really a fighter. He wasn't much of a lover either. He was... a magician... of sorts... well, not quite. At the very least, it showed that the guiding forces of the universe had a cruel sense of humor sometimes. All of his attempts at magic had,
sometimes brutally, backfired. Couldn't win by might or by smarts, or even magic.
Time to look elsewhere. In fact, he felt like it was time for a lifestyle change. He decided to try those self-help books his mother kept on pushing on to him. It couldn't hurt to try, right? Suddenly he was hit in the back of the head. He turned around to see who was picking on him this time and his jaw dropped when he saw two girls. One was young, maybe 12 years old, had long brown hair, in a t-shirt and jeans, and was weilding a twin set of metal combs. The other seemed to be about Akane's age, with very short tomboyish black hair, a white long-sleeved shirt, and pin-stripe slacks. She was wielding a metallic yo-yo, slinging it up and down. Her earrings resembled yo-yos too.
"Well, there you are." the older one said.
"Um..." Gosunkugi never was good with girls. "You're not wearing your suit," the other one observed curiously.
"Well..." Gosunkugi stammered. "Don't worry. Didn't like it anyways." the younger girl said. "C'mon, you still owe me lunch." the older one said. "You... wanna date?" Goskunkugi asked. *WHAP* "I'm your sister, you idiot." "Ew, Ryo's a pervert!" the younger one teased.
"I'm not Ryo!" Goskunkugi said, feeling it was time to get things straightened out. "Who are you two?" "C'mon, Ryo, stop acting weird." the younger one said. "Yeah," Ryoko said, "we were swinginng by to see if you... well..."
"I'm telling you, y-you've got the wrong guy!" "Oh? Well... take this!" she yelled, and sent the yo-yo towards Gosunkugi. It slammed into his face, knocking him out cold, and whizzed back into Ryouko's hand. She blinked, looking genuinely surprised.
"How odd, Ryo would never let himself get hit by that," said Ryoko. "Take out his wallet. I want to check something." Kyoko took Gosunkugi's wallet out and handed it to Ryoko. "Hey, he isn't Ryo after all. But he's got some cash. C'mon, let's get some lunch." said Ryoko.
The school day was a tense one for Ryouga. He felt scared of Ukyou every time she guided him to his next class. Now and then he'd take a glance at her and it seemed like she was... upset, unhappy, uneasy about something. When she caught him glancing at her, she gave him the coldest glare in the universe.
The school day finished and they went back to Ucchan's, this time with Akane. She went there for cooking tips whenever Kasumi was too busy, like today. When they got back, Ryouga immediately excused himself and tried to find his way to the area behind the store so that he could practice some of his martial arts. Ukyou and Akane headed to the grill to cook. Ukyou's angry glances at Ryouga didn't escape Akane's notice. "Ukyou, did he do something?" "Eh?" Ukyou seemed distracted. "Ryouga, I mean. It's obvious you're mad at him about something." Ukyou got angry. "He got drunk again, that's what happened." "No!" "Yup. He stumbled in here like an idiot, bothered the customers...
and..." Ukyou's face softened slightly. "And what?" "Ryouga... he... the idiot kissed me."
Ryouga didn't make it to the back lot. He did wander near to where the girls were talking. He also accidentally heard the whole conversation. He slowly turned around and made a quiet and desperate attempt to find the back door.
"Oh," Akane said, "this is a bad thing?" "I think. Maybe. I don't know." Ukyou replied, looking a bit flustered and irritated.
"Well. Er. That's..." She wasn't sure how to handle this topic so she employed the Tendo School of Anything Goes Conversation secret technique: quickly change the topic. "Anyways, Happousai's been hospitalized." "I know, Ranma told me that Ryo guy beat him up." "Yeah, pretty badly too."
"Doesn't that old lech get beat up regularly?"
"Well, yes. That's true. Although we never hospitalilzed him before."
Akane tapped her chin in thought. "Well, then again, he always got a hold of some undergarments right after he got hurt."
"Yeah, well... that's true."
The two girls stood there, Ukyou grilling, Akane watching, neither really concentrating on anything. For some reason that both couldn't explain, it was just one of those awkward moments. Ukyou tried to think of something to day, anything, and thought to ask 'how was Ranma?' That reminded her of one other problem...
"Akane, you're _sure_ Ranchan hasn't been acting strange lately, or maybe hit his head again?" "No, he seems just fine to me."
Ukyou didn't know what to expect from Akane once she was told. This would have to be phrased delicately. "Well... I guess you should know since... you're his... Akane... it's just that a while back... Ranma was..."
Ryouga had finally made it to the back lot and was doing some practice swings and punches and other various attacks. Then he was take by surprise by a really loud yell from inside the resteraunt.
"THAT PERVERT!"
Ryouga stumbled. He stood straight up. His eyes widened and he began to sweat. {Oh no, that was Akane! What did Ukyou tell her? What else did I do last night? I didn't... no way! Now Akane thinks I'm some kind of pervert too!}
[Later...]
=Nekohanten, may I help you?= "Hey, Mousse, it's me, Ryouga." =Oh. Listen, could you call back? I'm kinda busy right now. The Amazon Legal Council just flew in and we're into the opening arguements. And to make things worse, they're all members of her family. It isn't fair!= "Just a quick question. You busy at the end of the month?" =Yes, we should be at our closing arguements by then. Sorry.= "Oh. Never mind. Good luck." *Click*
Ryouga was hoping that Mousse could guide him back to the appointed location for the fight, but it looked like that was a no-go. He also realized a big flaw in that plan: Mousse didn't know where the bridge was either. It looked like he'd have to ask Ukyou.
Gosunkugi was having just the strangest day. He silently declared that he would never _ever_ understand women. Then he adjusted the icepack on his forehead. He was walking home and was turning the corner when he bumped into those thugs that usually beat him up and take his lunch money. Gosunkugi froze in place. The thugs froze in place. Everyone started to sweat. Gosunkugi very slowly took a step back.
With a blood-curling scream, both parties ran away from each other.
Akane was walking home from Ucchan's, done with another day of lessons.
The curry had finally progressed into something with no flavor at all, and the caesar salad was looking a little less like mulch. Progress, in general, was good.
She was idly thinking of her achievements when her attention was turned to sounds of combat nearby. She went over to the source of the noise,
which was an empty lot with a few trees and an enraged Mousse. Akane stayed hidden and decided to see what Mousse was doing.
"DAMN OLD GHOULS!" Mousse yelled to the sky. He whipped out a chicken and instead of using it to hatch exploding eggs, he flung the surprised fowl at a tree. It exploded, leaving behind a cloud of feathers. "Everyone's getting in my way. It's always something...
always!" Akane felt sorry for Mousse. He was, in her opinion, not really a bad guy. Sure, he'd kidnapped her once and threatened to turn her into a duck, but once he settled down in Nerima and she got to know him better,
Akane realized that he wasn't such a bad guy. Just a lovesick, desperate martial artist, he was. Put into that context, he was a perfect fit for Nerima.
She was about to go comfort him when he began ranting again. "My main rival to her heart turns his back and she still won't accept me! I've beaten her in combat, and yet it isn't enough!" He pulled a toilet trainer duck from his sleeve and angrily threw it at a wall nearby, where it shattered. "The members of the legal council ARE ALL COLOGNE'S SISTERS! DAMN THAT OLD GHOUL!" He whipped out blades and made a pin-cushion of a nearby boulder.
She was really worried now. Mousse was starting to sound deranged. "Maybe I can convince Muhoshin to kill Cologne," mused Mousse. "He did so well against Happosai, after all."
Akane frowned. That... that was desperate.
"And if she still won't accept me after that... after all that I've done... well I'll use the passion spice!" Yes, Mousse was sounding really desperate now.
"After all, it worked so well when I used it on Ranma and Akane, and they didn't even notice. They're even getting married. Why shouldn't it work as well on Shampoo?" Mousse sat on the ground and closed his eyes, practicing a breathing technique for relaxing. No sense in ranting like a lunatic, that was too much of a Kuno-type approach. Meanwhile, a few feet away, Akane slowly,
silently, and sadly walked away.
[Thursday night]
Ryouga felt he needed to know more about his adversary, so he asked Ukyou to bring him to the one person in town that seemed to know a little about everything. After all, this sort of thing always worked for Ranma,
right?
"Hello son-in-law. What brings you here?" "I am not your son-in-law." "Whatever. You'll owe me for this sometime, boy." "You sound like Nabiki." Cologne frowned. "No need to be insulting." "Sorry. Tell me, have you ever heard of the Unorthodox Weaponry School of Martial Arts?" Cologne inhaled from her pipe, blew, and began to speak. "Ah, yes, the Unorthodox Weaponry School of Martial Arts. It is a very old school indeed, centuries old. At one point, long ago, its base of operations was in this town for several years and its influence can be seen in many of this city's martial artists today. I think you've seen the people I am referring to." Ryouga and Ukyou nodded in comprehension. That would explain all the bizarre styles of martial arts that had been appearing, such as martial arts takeout delivery, martial arts tea-ceremony, rhythmic gymnastics martial arts, and the bizarre signboard martial arts that the Dojo destroyer used. Ukyou wondered if her own family was influenced by this school. "Originally," Cologne continued, "the school served to train guardians of royalty and important members of govornment. You see, sometimes,
assassins resorted to attacking their targets at the most awkward or inconvenient places or times, such as tea ceremonies, or catching them in the middle of a raging storm, or even attacking them as they play with their children. Thus, a group of men trained so that they could fight no matter what circumstances they found themselves caught in. Thus began the school. As time passed, the various sub-schools branched off and soon severed their connections to the main branch. Those that remained were considered too ridiculous by many and so the school was slowly forgotten. Apparently it still exists today."
"That school and the Amazon tribe had, in the past, some points of dispute. They had claimed to be the inventors of the Xi Fa Xiang Gao technique..." She noticed Ryouga's blank stare. "...The technique that I believe Shampoo once used on Akane to make her forget Ranma..." Ryouga finally 'oh'ed and Cologne continued, " when it is so obvious that we had created it. They lie and take credit for many of our techniques."
"So... there was a fight to settle this?" asked Ukyou.
"Yes, but everyone involved forgot the results," mused Cologne. "I wonder why. Anyways, the current situation is of mutual non-recognition."
"Non-recognition?" asked Ryouga.
"We ignore them, they ignore us. Although if one of their number should ever wander into the Amazon Village, they would be most unwelcome."
"Oh... I see," said Ryouga.
"Anything else, sonny boy?" asked Cologne.
"I need to know about some attacks that I've seen used. Do you know anything about an attack called the Ryugeki-ken?" Ryouga asked. "Well..." Cologne looked deep in thought. "No. Never heard of it." "No?" "Sorry, sonny boy." "Er... What about the gekihou?" Ryouga asked. "Can't say that I have, no." Ryouga was stunned. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. After all, with RANMA, she always had answers.
"Is there anything else you could tell me that could help me beat him?" "Well... tell me, how did he execute these moves?" "What?" "Did he do a motion with his hands? Did he yell out the name?" "Well, he did them with his umbrella." "Did you see him execute any moves without the umbrella?" asked Cologne.
"Well... no." "Bah, the solution is obvious. I strongly believe that your enemy is quite useless without his umbrella. After all, the Unorthodox Weaponry School concentrates on _armed_ combat, does it not? Disarm him, and your enemy shall probably be greatly hindered." "By the way," Ryouga said, "he knocked Akane out by poking her around this spot." He pointed to the spot. "That?" Cologne asked. "A temporary stun pressure point. If your fighting spirits are up, then this point will be useless against you. It works only as a surprise tactic during non-combat situations." "Really?" asked Ryouga. Mousse walked by, carrying some supplies. Cologne poked him at the spot and he promptly collapsed on the floor. "There. You see?" she said. The others blinked in surprise.
"That was kinda mean, wasn't it?" asked Ukyou.
"Oh no, he's used to this sort of thing. Hey, slacker! Wake up!"
Cologne prodded the unconscious Mousse with her stick. He stirred, got up, scowled, then stomped to the back room muttering something about dried up old monkeys...
-end part 10-
extra:
the title is a tip o'the hat to David Bateson's "Visits & Revelations"
