Beasts
by Black Kitten's Dream
Part 11
Iruka gazed at the toilet bowl in front of him, forlorn. Focusing on the white oval-shaped porcelain allowed him to keep his mind blank to some degree. He didn't want to leave the small room and face up to reality. Everything in him wanted to avoid a confrontation with Ibiki, and even the slightest thought of seeing Raidou again caused him pain in the stomach. Stumped, Iruka put his arms around his legs and rested his forehead on his bended knees. The loose hair slid along with the movement, covering his forearms like a silky fan.
"Iruka?" A knock on the door followed Raidou's inquiring voice, and Iruka flinched. He wasn't prepared to face them yet, and his response shot out of his mouth as hastily as he scrambled to his feet.
"Just a sec!"
His voice had been too loud and a little bit shrill, cracking at the edge. He didn't waste a thought on the unnatural sound. Searching for a loophole, he put his first idea into practice, partly because of the beginning pressure on his bladder, mostly to play for time. Relieving himself brought the rational reason for entering the toilet in the first place, but by far not enough of the desired time. The timeout was over with the flushing of the toilet.
"Come out, Iruka. Ibiki's gone."
"I'm on my way!"
Iruka pushed his hair back behind his ears with a nervous motion of his hand. Leaning against the door, he centred himself to repress the two emotions currently battling for dominance. It wasn't an easy task. That Ibiki was gone brought a huge surge of relief while in between bone deep awkwardness tore at him that he still had to look into Raidou's eyes again. Though the beginning arousal created by Ibiki's seductive story had already faded away long ago, the mortification for falling into the man's trap like a horny teenager would keep him company as a humiliating memory for the rest of his life.
"Step to the right, Iruka."
The harsh tone triggered his soldier training and he moved to the side. Not a moment too late for there was the noise of teleportation and smoke filled the small room. Iruka's eyes widened when Raidou popped up right beside him, leisurely waving the smoke away.
"Nifty little trick, huh?"
Answering Raidou's grin with just a couple of blinks since he was at a complete loss for words, Iruka took the bottle and small cups the man pushed into his hands.
"Don't try this when you're smashed, though," The Jounin spoke on while leaning forward to open the small window. "It's not very funny to land with one leg in the toilet bowl and get stuck in it while the other leg decides to take a nap just a second later. Face down, butt up, balance completely smashed, I swear it took me hours to get out of that particular position. Thought I would never get my legs together again. I think I broke my spine too, but Genma claims that I'm just a whining wuss."
Raidou winked amiably and closed the toilet lid. After taking the items out of Iruka's hands again, he put them down on the lid before seating himself on the floor. Leaning with his back against the door, Raidou patted the free place between them invitingly. "Make yourself at home."
"Here?"
"Yeah," the man answered his perplexed question genially. "Apparently you're more comfortable in here, so why not. I can proudly say that it's as clean as it gets, more comfy than a branch and we even get fresh air."
Not sure what to expect, Iruka followed the invitation a little hesitantly. Slowly sitting down, he watched Raidou warily as the Jounin leaned forward to open the bottle and fill the cups. It was sake, and not a cheap one according to the label. Surprised by the generosity, Iruka took the offered cup.
"Kampai!" Raidou's cheerful toast automatically drew an equal reply out of him. He felt a little thrown off guard, but had no other choice than to take at least one sip without being too impolite. The sake was strong and very good. Pleasant heat spread down his throat and through his stomach. The tight knot of tension gradually became loose, and Iruka took another sip.
"Better than some old, dried leaves soaking in plain hot water?"
A small blush added more warmth to his body while he agreed honestly. "It's indeed very good."
"I know. I love that stuff." Sliding a little further down the door, Raidou made himself comfortable. With his legs stretched out and his eyes closed, the older ninja made clear that now was the best time to savour the liquid in peace.
Grateful, Iruka relaxed, leaned back against the door and with his legs tucked up closed his eyes as well. The sake tasted phenomenal, and with the sudden chirping of a bird he could almost forget where he was right now. Occasionally sipping from his drink, he was already starting to feel the alcohol when Raidou began speaking.
"Feeling better now?"
"Much better, thanks."
"Good. Ready for a chat?"
"I think so." Glancing at the man beside him, Iruka stated a question to confirm his suspicion. "Are you a member of this group Kakashi mentioned?"
"Yes."
"Who else is?"
"Don't rush it," Raidou chided kindly. "You might find out in due time. Any more questions?"
He had, many in fact. Still, Iruka shook his head, ready to listen to the other man. "No. I'm just sorry for what happened before, for... not controlling myself."
"Forget it. That was just Ibiki showing his claws."
"You're not disgusted by my reaction?"
"I'm amused, that's all. It's nothing but an anecdote we will laugh about in a couple of years."
Relieved, Iruka gazed into his cup. Moving the little cup between his fingers, he watched the circulating liquid thoughtfully. "Morino-san doesn't like me much, does he?"
Raidou hummed and quietly drank his sake. The absence of an answer was affirmation and uncomfortable truth rolled in one, and Iruka started to fiddle with his cup again. Rejection was always a cruel matter, especially for him, as someone who looked for harmony despite his occasional hot temper. For some reason, Ibiki's bad opinion about him hurt more than logic could explain, as if it clearly ought to be the other way around, and the misery grew until Raidou sighed blissfully and turned his head toward him.
"Ibiki's a master. He can draw deeply hidden secrets out of you that you might not even be aware of yet. No one wants to be an open book, but, damn it, I like to play those mind games with him. It's mentally challenging and it keeps me on my feet. You never know beforehand how it will end and that makes the whole thing damn interesting. Ibiki doesn't always win, you know?"
"That's hard to believe."
"It's true. I'm the proud winner of, well, I stopped counting at some point, but it has to be at least one or two times."
Iruka burst out laughing. Beating Ibiki at his own game was indeed alluring even though likely impossible for himself, and he watched with a smile as Raidou refilled their cups, settled back against the wall and spoke on.
"You have to understand that Ibiki smells fear or insecurity better than anyone else. Overcome those emotions and you have a chance to get out of it in one piece. Well, it is healthier to keep a small dose of fear, though. It's kinda moronic to stick your head into a beast's mouth while poking it with a stick."
"Maybe I'll get a chance to pull some thorns out of his feet."
"Hardly. That fairytale doesn't work with him. He's too tough for some meagre scrub."
"Go figure. And there went my only chance." Playfully pulling a face, Iruka took another sip.
"It's really not that bad." The corner of Raidou's mouth twitched at Iruka's incredulous look. "Ibiki has surprisingly little patience with people he's actually interested in. That's why he's getting irritated that you keep shooting yourself in the foot."
"Do I?"
"Don't you?"
Already knowing the answer, Iruka's smile turned pained. "Am I really that bad, Raidou-san?"
"Counter question. Do you think I'm a good guy to the core?"
"Of course you are."
"Hm."
Iruka watched the man taking a leisurely sip, frowning in puzzlement. "What do you mean with 'hm'? You're nice, helped me out and haven't done anything to me. So why do you make noises that imply anything?"
"You're too naive, Iruka. Your bad judgement will be your death some day."
"I don't have bad judgement."
"Mizuki."
Iruka blinked, taken aback. "That was low."
"But true."
"I couldn't have known about his real intentions. No one knew!"
"You're getting angry. Try to keep it down. As far as I've been told you were best friends for a long time, and I think you just chose to overlook the warning signs to maintain a friendship that had already started to crumble years ago."
His automatic defenses made Iruka search for arguments that he already knew were just excuses. Unable to articulate even a single one of them, Iruka glared at Raidou before he averted his eyes, down to the illusory and fleeting safety of the sake cup. Mizuki was his sore spot, a bitter disappointment that had almost cost him his life. The anger that had emerged at Raidou's accusation was in fact more directed at himself. He had been aware of Mizuki's at times unsettling behaviour, briefly exposed like the glimpse of a true face through the crack in a mask. There had been resentment where there should have been delight and grudges instead of shared happiness. Ignoring those flickers of negative emotions had been easier than facing them, the fear of losing this friendship greater than every shocking truth he could have imaged during that time. Cowardice, gutlessness, there were many adjectives he could refer to for turning a blind eye to Mizuki's change of character, and there was still a tiny spot in him that stubbornly refused to believe that he had been mistaken about their friendship all this time. It was a dark part of his life, an experience he would never really be able to come to terms with.
"Is it really that bad to believe in the good in people and give them a chance first?"
"No. If you want to die young, that is."
"Right." Iruka swallowed the rest of his sake and put the cup down on the toilet lid, intended loud to emphasize his disapproval. Irritated, he tugged a strayed strand of hair back behind his ear. "Even so, so be it. I can't change who I am."
"No one has demanded this from you. Just as we know that taming you would be a big mistake."
"Would spoil the fucking party, wouldn't it?"
"Well, that too." Raidou grinned at his defiant look and reached for the bottle to refill their cups. Eyes trained on the liquid's flow, Iruka watched the process in wordless anticipation and readily reached for the cup the moment the bottle was on the floor again. Amused, Raidou watched him taking a sip. "Keep baring your teeth. As long as it's justified we will lick our wounds in proud silence."
"Silence huh? Don't make me laugh." A click on the tongue underlined his disagreement. "Morino would rather bite my head off first for opposing him."
"You didn't listen to what I already told you. Ibiki likes you quite well. He just doesn't spread affection around without reason. He will show it when he's satisfied."
"Oh, is it like the carrot and the stick? First seduction then punishment? With Morino it's apparently the other way around, not that I want to sleep with him, but with Genma and Kakashi... Gods, I can't figure them out."
"Do you have the hots for them?"
Wincing at the bluntness, Iruka scratched his cheek awkwardly. "Yes, I do."
It was surprisingly easy to speak about the feelings he had for them since yesterday. Both men were intriguing. They had shown interest in him, and according to the butterflies in his belly the prospect of being their lover left him breathless with excitement. The notion that he might be part of some kind of threesome was thrilling, made him blush and wonder about his future.
"Will it get easier for me when I'm part of this pack?"
"We will still rap your knuckles if needed, if that's what you meant. Do you want to be part of it?"
"Yes."
"That's good to hear."
Gut feeling had given the answer to Raidou's question, and his heart had voiced a desire slowly built since Kakashi's offer. No matter if right or wrong, having made the decision lifted a heavy burden from his shoulders and anticipation rose.
"What's going to change for me?"
"There will be some training to improve your skills and minimize your weaknesses. Other than that feel free to ask for help or take the advice we provide. Don't let false pride get in your way. We've got experience to share."
"So that would make you my big brothers?"
"If you want."
"Wow, sex between brothers. Isn't that incest?"
"I beg your pardon?"
Chuckling at the Jounin's questioning look, Iruka threw back his head and drained the rest of his sake. He was about to catch the last drop with the tip of his tongue when his eyes met that of another man. Cautiously, Iruka put the cup down. "There's someone at your toilet window, Raidou-san."
"For a couple of minutes, yes."
"Oh." Iruka blinked, surprised. Big black eyes gazed down at him expressionlessly, creating a creepy sensation through the gaze he dimly recognized as a trademark of a Jounin he had seen a couple of times in the mission room. Strangely, the stare didn't impress him that much any more, nor was it intimidating as he patiently waited for the Jounin to speak.
"Iruka-sensei."
"Tenzou-san." Iruka greeted back, his mind helpfully coming up with the name on time.
"Tenzou? Not Yamato?" Surprise was colouring Raidou's voice, spurring Iruka to give an explanation.
"I heard Kakashi talking to him once and I am sure he called him Tenzou. So, Tenzou it is."
Satisfied that he had remembered the Jounin's name although he hadn't spoken to him personally before, Iruka felt safe and secure and was quite relaxed when said man raised his hand, holding a senbon between thumb and forefinger.
"Catch."
Too fast for him to react yet still so slow that he could actually see the senbon flying right his way, it was an odd experience to follow the deadly needle with his eyes, straight toward his chest where a blur of colour suddenly covered the weapon. The blur vanished, leaving a hand holding the senbon and Raidou's worried voice.
"Are you alright, Iruka?"
Befuddled, Iruka stared down at the senbon Raidou had caught in front of his chest. "I don't know. I think I'm a little tipsy."
The silence that followed was pregnant. Both Jounin were probably exchanging looks which didn't annoy him at all, still gazing down at something that could have turned utterly ugly. Raidou's hand slowly retreated, forcing him to raise his eyes to its owner.
"You're drunk, Iruka."
"Tipsy. Half-drunk at most."
"Okay, when was the last time you ate?"
"I had breakfast, in the morning. That was yesterday, I think."
"And you thought that was enough to start a sake contest on?"
"I can hold my liquor quite well." Which was a lie, but he was in no mood to share the truth. His face suddenly lost its colour. "I feel queasy."
"Do you need to puke?"
Mutely, Iruka shook his head, knowing that it was mostly the shock. The next few minutes went by in a haze with Raidou grabbing his arm, leading him out of the room and back into the kitchen to a chair. A damp towel was pressed against his face and Iruka moaned in relief. Face buried into the cold wetness, he waited until the dizziness lessened palpably.
"I'm sorry." The apology was muffled by the towel. Regretful, Iruka put it down on the table. A glass of water stood in front of him, and Raidou placed a plate with fried meat and noodles next to it.
"It's cold leftovers but should be sufficient to fill your stomach. After that, I want you to take a nap. You can have the bed."
Silently, Iruka took the offered chopsticks and started eating, vaguely noticing that it tasted quite good. He wanted to protest. The words failed him. Even the mention of Raidou's bed couldn't bring him to decline loudly, or half-heartedly insist to take the sofa instead. Lying down and sleeping the night away was what he desired right now. Raidou's offer to invite him, practically a stranger, into the privacy of his bedroom was stunning - but it was just not the right place to gather his thoughts and feelings. He needed the safety of his home. Slowly, he put the chopsticks down.
"I want to be alone, Raidou-san."
A hand cupped his nape, cold and slightly moist. The bliss of having this soothing sensation against his heated skin let Iruka moan again and raise his eyes to the man standing beside him.
"I'm pleased you chose to tell the truth instead of using excuses."
Raidou's baritone voice and calm gaze held him still. He had felt equal to this man only minutes ago, but chatting and laughing freely without hesitation was suddenly far away. Now, a subtle aura of authority surrounded the man. What was it with these men, turning into superior beings with such natural ease, without batting an eye? The change was tangible, arrested his attention in a wary way and yet, why did it feel so good to hear the man's approval instead of questioning his choice of words? Raidou moved, and with the physical contact broken the spell lifted. Iruka snatched the glass and drank the water in one go, eager to wet his dry mouth. Raidou watched him until he put the empty glass down again.
"Were you sober enough during our talk or do we have to repeat it?"
Nodding his head to confirm that everything he had said had been conscious despite the influence of the sake was the only response he could provide at the moment. Raidou put something on the table, close to his left hand. It was the senbon Tenzou had thrown.
"Genma's", was the only information he got from Raidou before the Jounin continued. "I also want you to take Tenzou with you, just to set my mind at ease. You okay with that?"
This wasn't a question. His approval was a minor matter. However, that Raidou maintained the illusion of him having a choice in that matter confirmed his positive opinion about the man. Iruka's lips curled into a smile.
"Yes, master."
"Master?" Raidou's eyebrows rose. "Be careful what you wish for, pup. Spankings aren't always for fun."
It had been meant as a light joke, a moment of unlocked fondness for Raidou that had led him to use that stupid address. Embarrassed, Iruka flushed.
"I'm not… That's not what I meant!"
Raidou grunted at his flustered state. "I couldn't care less about your sexual references, Iruka, though you could learn a lesson or two from people who live such particular leanings. Stop using your head once in a while. Not everything can be explained with reasoning. Let instinct take over from time to time."
"Like during the nomination for the Chuunin exam?" Iruka asked, upset. "Sorry to disappoint you, but it was instinct that told me to object to the Jounins' decision."
"Being tipsy aside, and as endearing as your stubbornness occasionally might be, stop confusing heart with instinct. Apparently, you 've forgotten how to keep them apart. It's your heart that tells you to shelter your pupils and instinct to let them go. You cared for the kids, taught them to your best, and now it's time for the top dogs to take over."
Pensively, Iruka gazed at the senbon on the table. "So, only from time to time?"
"We're not animals, are we?"
"No," he agreed softly and took the senbon. Standing up, he bowed to the other man. "Thank you for your hospitality, Raidou-san."
"Anytime, Iruka. You're welcome."
Raidou's reply had been kind, and Iruka felt at rest as the man accompanied him to the door to see him out. His uniform had been folded into a bundle and was now shoved into his arms. Raidou strapped a belt around his waist to keep the oversized trousers from slipping, and after a friendly clasp on his shoulder and another encouraging smile Iruka was outside the house. He nodded to the man waiting for him on the street and they both started walking, the Jounin a few steps behind. The fresh air did him good and helped him to sober up a bit. Mulling over Raidou's words on his way home, Iruka didn't remember the Jounin discreetly walking behind him until he stood in front of his place. The lack of words between them and the fact that he hadn't addressed the man once during their walk let him recall his good manners. Awkwardly, Iruka cleared his throat.
"Would you like to come in, Tenzou-san?"
"Do you want to insult me?"
"Pardon?" Shocked, Iruka turned to the man who regarded him with a blank look.
"I asked if you want to insult me with such an offer."
"What the hell? No!"
"Then why did you make it?"
"I just wanted to be polite! What's wrong with that?"
"Insincere politeness out of courtesy is rude, something you can use toward strangers or enemies but never toward one of your own. What you did was an outright affront, a lie right to my face. I ask again, do you really want to invite me in?"
Iruka stared at Tenzou, slowly realizing what he meant. Tired and mentally exhausted, his body hurting from the spar and still feeling traces of the sake, he just wanted to get into bed, to be alone. "No, I don't want to."
"Ah. Then I'll take a rain check."
Perplexed at the easy-going reply, Iruka blinked stupidly back until he remembered something the Jounin had said. "Might I ask you a question, Tenzou-san?"
"Shoot."
"You said one of my own. Are you part of the pack?"
"I am."
"Oh." Iruka eyed him with a wry smile. "Finally someone who's not taller than me."
Tenzou's eye-brows shot up. "Larger people make you feel inferior? Well, that's easy to change."
Squatting down, the Jounin rested his arms on his knees and tilted his head back to resume eye-contact. "Better?"
Iruka's mouth dropped open. "Get up, Tenzou-san!"
"Does it bother you?"
"Yes!" Squatting down as well and glancing for unwanted passers-by, Iruka missed the small smirk sent his way.
"That's stupid, Tenzou-san!"
"Hm? Ibiki has said that people who can recognize and accept their nature are happier in every respect."
"And that's why he's such a happy sadist?"
"Maybe." The big dark eyes glittered. "What's your nature?"
"Me? I'm pretty average."
"Are you? Then why did you get agitated, even squatted down without giving it much thought? You have restored our former position in a flash. That's not an average reaction."
Growing stiff, Iruka pushed down the denial popping up in his mind. Reversing their position had made him feel extremely uncomfortable. He couldn't really explain why, but seeing a senior at his feet just didn't feel right. Was this what Tenzou was getting at? What Raidou had been trying to explain to him in diplomatic ways, Genma with hot-blooded irritation, and Kakashi like a lurking predator? Stunned, Iruka licked his lips.
"I will never be a top dog."
"Not by nature, no." The Jounin watched him attentively. "Does it hurt?"
"I don't know. A bit, yes. Knowing that I'll stay inferior because I'm apparently too submissive isn't really appealing."
"That's why you bark now and then."
"Huh?"
"Throwing tantrums and losing your temper all of a sudden, rebelling against the alpha dogs. It's cute but not acceptable over a longer period. You'll always end up with your belly exposed or a punishing bite." A smirk and Tenzou turned serious again. "The problem is that you're not stable yet. You're still struggling to accept your natural place in the hierarchy, and that makes you distrustful, defensive and cranky toward your superiors. I don't know who put the idea into your head that being subordinate is a sign of weakness. Guess it was that Mizuki guy. In any case, that's crap. There's no shame in being inferior as long as you recognize and accept it as part of your nature."
"And I will be happier in every respect," Iruka echoed softly, his murmur hanging between them until his gaze turned wary. "How do you know so much about me?"
"I guessed."
"You guessed?"
"Yeah," Tenzou grinned. "Besides watching and listening. We were checking you out to see if you would fit into the pack."
"So, all things considered I'm just a yapping bitch to you?"
"Well, considered that I'm pretty straight I wouldn't know about the bitch part." A deep chuckle followed when Iruka rolled his eyes at the pun. "Don't get me wrong. You're excellent in what you do or you wouldn't be entrusted with teaching Konoha's future. You just don't give off the confidence you should have regarding your skills. And that's why some people didn't believe that you could handle this particular class while others knew all along that you would shape them into fine Genins."
"Who doubted me?" Iruka asked, appalled at such news.
"Does it matter?"
"Of course it does!"
"Why try to please everyone? Shouldn't you just concentrate on people that really count for you? Getting into petty fights with people who are just jealous of what you can accomplish displays your lack of confidence, which is an issue we'll have to straighten out. You're pretty sharp so it shouldn't take us that much time to fix that problem, at least when you get the feeling for the pack and start to be proud of who you are."
"Feelings for the pack?"
"Pack goes beyond mere friendship. We're family, brothers till death."
Amazed, Iruka stated his next question tentatively. "When you're all so certain of my place within your group, of my faults and errors and whatnot, then why were you all beating around the bush? Why didn't you tell me everything to my face instead of playing mind games and driving me nearly mad with it?"
"You wouldn't have believed us. You're more the trial and error type."
"According to whom?"
"Mainly Ibiki and Kakashi-senpai. By the way, that spar was pretty neat."
Recognition hit Iruka and lit his face. "You're the ANBU who treated my injury and helped me out of the forest!"
"Information about ANBU's members is strictly classified."
"Nonsense!" Iruka cried out excitedly at the Jounin's pretended gravity. "Admit it!"
"Assuming that I was or am this ANBU or any ANBU member at all, I would have to kill you for finding out my identity."
"Oh, come on, you gave me Genma's senbon, the one I lost in the ANBU territory!"
"You mean the one you actually attacked an ANBU with?"
"Ha! I knew it!"
"Do you really wanna die?"
"But--!"
"Let it be, Iruka."
Almost pouting, Iruka pursed his lips. "I thought pack members share everything."
"There're still rules regarding the life outside the pack. And starting from now, throwing pointy things or any other kind of weapon at ANBU is off-limits."
"You threw the senbon at me, too."
"And you should have been able to catch it."
"That's Raidou's fault. He tried to get me drunk."
"Hardly. Besides, the intention was to deliver the senbon, not to kill you. So the not-being-able-to-catch-it part goes right back to you."
"Really?"
"Absolutely."
Groaning in defeat, Iruka rubbed his neck. "Tell me again why we didn't have this conversation at my home with tea and some cookies?"
"You wouldn't have opened up to me the way you did."
"Gods, you even might be right with this one." A deep yawn escaped him, and Tenzou took it as a sign to stand up which Iruka mirrored with short delay.
"It's time for me to go." Tenzou smiled amiably. "Raidou was right. You're fun and will turn out to be a valuable asset to our pack. It was a pleasure to talk with you, Iruka-sensei. Sleep tight."
Surprised at the words and respectfully uttered suffix, Iruka answered the Jounin's friendly parting wave with one of his own. His reply "Me too." came a bit too late for the man to hear, though he sensed that the Jounin was aware of it nevertheless. With the feeling that he might have won new friends, Iruka walked into the house and got up to his place. Delighted but worn-out, he started to undress the moment he closed the door, carelessly dropping the clothes on his way to the bed, and fell asleep as soon as he hit the mattress with a little smile on his face.
tbc
Well, slowly but surely Iruka get's to know the family members, i.e. the pack. With Raidou and Tenzou involved, it doesn't look so bad for him anymore, does it? And I'm currently pretty nice to him, too! *angelic smile that turns wicked the moment she's thinking about the next chapters* XD
Again, thank you so much for all those great reviews *hugs*. I hope you liked the chapter enough to keep on reading. At any rate, comments are always appreciated! Ah, I think that's it because the sooner I stop writing the faster I can make the update, ne? ;)
Till the next chapter, minna-san!
BK
