A/N - I wasn't going to update today, but I decided 29 reviews, you guys more than deserve it. Thank you so much!
This chapter's for SondiDondi, who turns 15 in two days. Happy birthday!
Also - this chapter features quite a bit of character torture. If that's not your thing, then please don't read it. That being said - please read, enjoy, and review! (Speaking of review - please read the notice at the bottom of the chapter. Thanks!)
Chapter Warning:
This is another chapter fully deserving of the PG-13 rating – if you don't like character torture and emotional angst for our heroes, then READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL.
The Track of a Storm
By Lady Taliesin
James Potter died on October 31, 1981. But when, nearly six years later, Lord Voldemort invokes an ancient magic to restore himself to a body, James is drawn back into a world where everything he knows is gone, and everyone he cares about believes him dead…
Disclaimer – Y'all know the drill…it's all Jo Rowling's, not mine. Sue and you'll get nothing, nada, zippo, zilch…in other words, don't bother trying.
The Track of a Storm
Chapter 11 – Nostalgia
August 3, 1987
Remus opened his eyes blearily, resisting the urge to rub them as Harry, still fast asleep, mumbled incoherently and leaned more heavily against his arm. Suppressing a shiver, he reached over with his free hand and pulled his overcoat closer up against them. Although a faint pinkish tinge was peering through the small barred window set high up into the wall and casting a dim light on the chipped stone floor, the chill in the dungeons lingered.
Looking down, nearly squinting through the lingering darkness, Remus shifted his right arm carefully so that Harry was lying against his side instead. Harry mumbled again, his bare feet curling under him as Remus tousled his hair gently.
"I'm so sorry, Harry." he whispered, his voice nearly cracking as Harry smiled faintly in his sleep. Drawing his gaze away from Harry, he turned to look instead at the thin metal bars separating their dungeon cell from the corridor outside. The bars were narrow and old but still strong – he'd tried to pry them apart the first day they were here, and they hadn't so much as budged – but there were large gaps in between them, gaps that just might be big enough for a slender seven year-old to slip through…
Caught up in his thoughts, Remus didn't notice Harry was awake until he yawned and shifted at his side. Turning back quickly, Remus forced a grin. "Good morning." he said quietly. Harry smiled shyly.
"Morning." he murmured. He hesitated for a moment, looking as though he were torn between pulling away from Remus and snuggling closer to him – at last he drew back and rubbed his eyes, wincing as his wrists rubbed together.
"Here, let me see those." said Remus automatically, reaching out and gently pulling Harry's arms to him.
Although Remus' wrists had mostly healed from where Voldemort's cords had cut them, Harry's were still raw and chafed. They had since stopped bleeding but his skin was still a deep, raw pink, standing in stark contrast to his otherwise almost unhealthily pale skin. Remus forced a strained, reluctant smile on his face.
"Try not to bend your wrists, alright?" he said softly, ripping a strip of cloth off of his shirt and tying it in a loose bandage around Harry's right wrist. Harry watched him with solemn eyes, wincing slightly but otherwise still as Remus tore off another strip of cloth and tied it around his left wrist.
"Remus?" whispered Harry at last, his eyes following Remus' every move as Remus finished tying the bandage and straightened.
"Hmm?"
"Why'd you stay?"
Remus, taken aback, looked up sharply. "I…I couldn't leave you…" he said disconcertedly, unsure why Harry asking him. "I mean…of course I stayed…"
"Because you had to?" asked Harry shakily, his eyes growing bright behind his smudged and broken glasses. Remus, still unsure of where this was leading, nodded slowly.
"Yes…" he began, then broke off in alarm as Harry whirled away with a low gasp, panting in low, heaving sobs as he tore feverishly at the makeshift bandages around his wrists. "Harry, what –"
Harry turned back angrily, tears streaming down his grubby face and the now half-ripped bandages turning a slow red. "You shouldn't have stayed!" he choked, scrabbling backwards as Remus tried to move forward. "Not because of me! You could have gone and instead you stayed and now they're going to hurt you too, and it'll be all my fault and, and…"
"Harry…"
"NO! You don't understand! You shouldn't have stayed just because of me! I'm just Harry! Just, just Harry…I'm not worth that!"
"Harry." said Remus sharply. Harry looked up at him, trembling as more tears slipped down his cheeks. Remus' face softened as he dropped down next to Harry, propping his chin up with his hand and forcing Harry to look at him. "I said something like that once." continued Remus gently, reaching over and brushing Harry's cheek with his sleeve. Harry flinched but didn't pull away. "A long time ago, when I was only about five years older than you, I said something very like that to your dad." Harry looked up quickly.
"And do you want to know what he said?" continued Remus, suppressing a smile as Harry's eyes began to shine.
"What?" whispered Harry, his voice still thick.
"He said that I was being selfish. He said that it was alright if the people who loved me wanted to help me. He said that I was worth it, Harry."
With a strangled sob Harry launched himself into Remus' arms, burying his head in Remus' shoulder and throwing his arms around his neck. "I stayed because I wanted to, Harry." said Remus gently, as Harry sobbed into his shoulder. "Because I wanted to, alright? And I'm not going to get hurt; I promise."
"Promise?" sniffled Harry, his head still buried in Remus' shirt. Remus smiled sadly.
"I promise." he repeated, turning his head slightly to look back at the bars of their cell. "I promise."
ooooo
The day had fully dawned by now, the light spilling reluctantly across the stones a bright golden-yellow and the oppressive dungeon air lifting slightly as a faint breeze drifted through the tiny barred window. Harry had fallen asleep again, the bandages around his wrists once more neatly tied as he lay propped up against the wall, Remus' overcoat tucked carefully around him.
Remus was lying on the ground next to him, his eyes half closed as he stared meditatively up at the small window. He turned as Harry stirred in his sleep, a sad smile creasing his face as he tucked his overcoat more snuggly around Harry.
"Well, well…how touching, Remus. And here I thought you didn't like the boy."
Remus froze, but the voice continued pleasantly, "I was listening last night, you know. Very sweet of you, telling dear little Harry stories about his father. I think the boy's well on his way to growing up to be like our lovely James, hmm. What a pity he won't be alive long enough for us to find out."
"What do you want, Abaddon?" said Remus at last, his voice icy as he pushed himself to his knees and moved slightly so that he was in front of Harry. Abaddon, a cloak of ermine fur wrapped around him, stared at Remus amusedly.
"Darling, you're so hasty." he murmured, tapping his for once ungloved fingers together. "Perhaps I just came down here to be nostalgic, hmm? To walk, as they say, down memory lane?" His handsome face broke into a smile as he looked at Remus. "To reminisce about old times?"
"What do you want?" repeated Remus stonily. Abaddon sighed and pulled a key out of his pocket, unlocking the door to the cell and strolling inside.
"Remus, Remus…didn't I just tell you?" Abaddon drew to a halt before Remus and pulled out his wand with a sigh. "I want to reminisce. Imperio."
Remus' entire mind was suddenly completely, blissfully blank. He stared at Abaddon through unfocused eyes, a small, peaceful smile playing across his face as a soothing voice echoed within his head. Follow me, Remus… He wanted nothing more in the world than to listen to that voice, to do what it asked, to stand up and follow Abaddon out of the cell and down the narrow dungeon passageway to the solid stone wall…
Abaddon tapped the stone wall twice with his wand, whispering something under his breath – the wall shimmered for a moment, then fell away to reveal an ornate wooden door flanked on either side by imposing granite pillars. Clapping his hands delightedly, Abaddon tucked his wand back into his pocket and pushed the door open, his ermine cloak swirling behind him and Remus following dreamily in his wake.
The room was completely bare except for the rows of unlit torches that lined the walls. As one they burst into life the moment Abaddon snapped the door shut behind him, casting an eerie, flickering light in the otherwise pitch-black room. Casting his gaze around the room, Abaddon smiled contentedly and flicked his wand at Remus.
The contented feeling vanished as suddenly as it had come. Remus blinked dazedly, staring for a moment uncomprehendingly around the room – it was long enough for Abaddon, snapping his fingers and conjuring a set of manacles, to truss his hands together and shove him unceremoniously to the floor.
"I nearly lied, my dear." murmured Abaddon silkily, snapping his fingers again. A black leather whip materialized in his hand. "I want to torture you. I asked the Dark Lord, and He said it was alright." Apparently pleased with himself, Abaddon bent down and jerked Remus to his knees. Remus' breath was quickening but he didn't say anything. "I do hope you don't mind, darling."
Remus tensed suddenly, and as if on cue the whip snapped down through the air, lashing against his back and tearing a strip through his shirt. Abaddon frowned, and with a wave of his hand Remus' shirt disappeared and reappeared in a crumpled heap in the corner. "It is much more fun when you can see the blood, my lovely." he explained silkily, smiling dreamily as Remus let out a soft whimper of pain. "You can cry out all you like, Remus. The room is soundproof. Nobody will hear you." He laughed silkily and bent down slightly so that his face was inches from Remus'. "And I promise I won't tell."
The whip cracked down again, this time against Remus' bare skin. "I hope you're feeling nostalgic too, Remus. Bringing back old memories, hmm?"
Remus bit his lip as the whip sailed down, this time drawing a thin line of blood on his back. "Last time," hissed Remus through gritted teeth, jerking involuntarily as the whip came down again, "I survived. You fail–" Again the whip came down, and Remus broke off, crying out softly.
"Yes, I did fail, darling. It was truly most disappointing when our dear James and Sirius found you. But I'm not trying to kill you now…that would be silly, hmm? I'm just…reminiscing." Remus tried not to scream as another line of fire cut across his back. "Having a bit of fun, my dear. I'm not supposed to touch our other prisoner, you see. He's out of bounds." Abaddon giggled, and Remus, looking up through pain-fogged eyes, saw that his white fur cloak was splattered with red.
"Why?" spat Remus, trembling uncontrollably. Abaddon, raising the whip again, paused.
"He's much more important than you, my dear." murmured Abaddon at last, lowering his arm and allowing the whip to fall from limp fingers. It vanished before it hit the ground. "You know Sirius Black, hmm? They say –" Abaddon giggled again, falling to the ground next to Remus and drawing his wand from the inside pocket of his cloak, "– They say that he's the Dark Lord's right hand man. The Dark Lord would rather have the prisoner be his right hand man though, my lovely. Sirius seems a bit indisposed for now, hmm?"
Remus, nearly bent over double as something warm trickled slowly down his back, glanced sideways. Abaddon was casually twirling his wand between his fingers, a thoughtful frown creasing his face.
"You know the prisoner, Remus." he said slowly, tossing his wand up in the air and deftly catching it again. "He's not normally the type to turn to the Dark Lord, but…" Abaddon paused contemplatively for a moment. "They say, my dear, that losing everything can do that sort of thing to people. Crucio."
"I don't think he'll turn." continued Abaddon morosely, ignoring Remus' screams, which were echoing and reverberating around the closed room. Remus had fallen to the ground again, shaking and convulsing spasmodically as he screamed uncontrollably. "He's too…noble…for that. But he nearly did turn, my darling. Nearly. I had him within my grasp and then…" Abaddon reached out as though to seize something from midair, then allowed his hand to fall to his side with a small laugh. "And then he was noble again! Imagine!"
Abaddon waved his wand again, and Remus' screams abruptly broke off.
"It did make me very sad, my dear. I can tell you that."
Remus was still lying pale-faced on the ground, trembling uncontrollably. Abaddon frowned and kicked him sharply in the ribs.
"Get up, Remus!" he whined peevishly. "I'm not finished yet, you know." Reaching down with one slender, elegantly manicured hand, he grabbed Remus' forearm and jerked him to his feet, dragging him over to the wall and snapping his fingers with his left hand. Another set of manacles appeared, this time chained to the wall. Snapping the manacles shut around Remus' chafed wrists, Abaddon took a step back and smiled in obvious satisfaction. Remus was hanging limply from the shackles, his feet brushing the stone floor.
"Last time, Remus," he continued, pacing amiably in front of Remus and still twirling his wand casually, "There was a spell I used. Do you remember it?" Abaddon stopped pacing in front of Remus, smiling fondly. "You particularly disliked it, my darling. It was the last one I had a chance to use on you." His smile grew wider as he looked over at Remus. Remus' eyes were wide and terrified, and his breath was growing quicker and sharper. "It nearly made you kill James, I think. And it took them over a month to get it off of you. It was the only spell I've ever made up, my dear. Wasn't it lovely? Do you think, for old time's sake, we should use it again?" Abaddon raised his wand.
"No…," croaked Remus, straining frantically at the manacles and shaking his head feverishly. "Please…"
Abaddon considered him thoughtfully for a while. At last, sighing sadly, he lowered his wand. "He doesn't want you too hurt, my dear." Abaddon informed Remus dejectedly, tucking his wand back into a pocket of the velvet inside of his cloak. "So maybe some other time, hmm?"
Remus sagged forward and closed his eyes, though his breathing was still quickened.
There was silence for a few moments. Abaddon had resumed his pacing, his boot heels tapping sharply on the stone floor, and after a while Remus could hear him humming softly to himself.
"The little wolfie's chained to the wall, give him to Abaddon and the wolfie will bawl…"
Remus' eyes snapped open, and he managed to control his ragged breathing long enough to say loudly, "What do you want from me?" Abaddon ignored him.
"…And if the little wolfie refuses to cry, then give him to Abaddon and the wolfie will die…"
Shivering from more than the cold, Remus closed his eyes and tried again. "Why did you bring me here?"
Abaddon stopped humming and turned to look at him, an annoyed expression on his face. "Darling, I've said it thrice already. To reminisce. Silencio."
Remus snapped his mouth shut but lifted his chin defiantly, his golden-brown eyes flashing.
"We haven't done very much reminiscing though, hmm?" added Abaddon after a moment, his voice a contemplative murmur as he sank down to sit cross-legged on the ground in front of Remus. "We haven't been very nostalgic. What memories should we recollect, do you think?" Abaddon propped his chin up with his hand thoughtfully. "How about the night our dear little James and Lily died, hmm?" Remus jerked suddenly, and Abaddon smiled sweetly up at him. "I wasn't there of course, but I think I know how it went."
His smile grew wider at the look on Remus' face. "James – our beloved little James – died first, you know. The Dark Lord killed him; poor James never had a chance." Remus' eyes were blazing furiously now. "You see, darling, he decided to fight the Dark Lord all by himself. To give Lily and Harry time to flee. Well, I don't think that worked out very well, hmm?"
Remus, still unable to say anything, was mouthing wordlessly at him. Abaddon's smile faltered for a moment. "And then he killed Lily, and then he tried to kill little Harry. Have you told the poor dear that yet? That he's the boy-who-lived?" Abaddon paused. "He died then. I thought He did, at least. He says He didn't, but it's all so confusing." Abaddon sighed. "Oh, don't look at me like that, darling. I just thought you might like to reminisce about that. You see, the other day I was thinking to myself what might've happened if poor James had had help." He laughed. "If Remus and Sirius had arrived in time to save James…sermanio."
Remus' throat suddenly became unstuck. "Sirius…betrayed them." he choked, his fists clenched as he strained against the manacles. Abaddon gazed up at him with polite incredulity.
"Hmm?"
"Sirius –"
"Oh yes, my dear, of course. I forgot." Abaddon eyed Remus shrewdly for a moment. Then he said softly, "Do you hate it, talking about your friends like this? Let me tell you more, then." He stood up and strolled over to Remus' side. He paused for a moment, then, without warning, slapped Remus as hard as he could across the face.
"James died believing that you were the traitor, my lovely." he continued, as though nothing had happened. Remus, his cheek bright red and stinging, looked up at him dazedly. "He died cursing your name. He never did believe…Sirius…was the traitor. It's funny, hmm?"
"You're lying." spat Remus before he could stop himself. Abaddon looked over at him coolly.
"I'm not lying, Remus Lupin." he said calmly. "Crucio."
This time Abaddon did not pace – he stood with his arms folded elegantly across his chest as he stared unflinchingly at Remus, who was writhing and twisting against the shackles, his voice hoarse and broken as he screamed uncontrollably.
Nearly a minute passed before Abaddon reluctantly waved his wand. Remus continued to scream even after the curse was lifted, finally quieting down until he was only gasping, hanging limply from the manacles as his chest rose and fell raggedly. He was drenched in sweat, the torchlight flickering against his bare skin as he raised ashen eyes towards Abaddon. Abaddon smiled thinly.
"I'm not lying." he repeated softly. "He thinks – thought – you were the traitor, Remus Lupin. He never thought it was…Sirius."
Remus closed his eyes and shook his head weakly. "You're…lying." he repeated faintly, almost too quietly for Abaddon to hear. "You couldn't…know…"
Abaddon took a sudden step forward and slapped him across the face again. Remus whimpered softly.
"He told me!" hissed Abaddon, slapping Remus again. "He told me, Remus Lupin!"
Remus looked up weakly, a familiar coppery taste in his mouth. "Voldemort?" he rasped uncertainly. Abaddon, about to strike him again, stopped abruptly.
"He told me." repeated Abaddon, his voice low but his tone mutinous. He thrust his wand back into his cloak pocket, fumbling for a moment…then he pulled out a slender silver dagger, which gleamed fitfully in the flickering torchlight.
"You see this, my dear?" he breathed, his gaze following the dagger as he swung it slowly around to press the point against Remus' exposed shoulder. Remus shuddered but said nothing. "You have lots of scars, I know, I see…but maybe one more from poor little Abaddon, hmm? Something for the wolfie to remember him by?"
Without warning Abaddon sliced roughly downwards with the knife, cutting jaggedly into Remus' arm and then scything wildly across. He finished with a third slash, swiping the knife away from Remus with a flourish and a cry that sounded as though it was torn between a wild laugh and a sob. "Something for the little wolfie to remember him by." he repeated breathlessly, wiping the bloodied knife absently on his cloak and sliding it carefully back into his pocket. "In case the wolfie needs reminding." He snapped his fingers again, and the manacles disappeared into the wall. Remus, unable to support his own weight, slid roughly to the ground.
Abaddon waited for a moment, but Remus remained on the floor, his chest – completely drenched with sweat – flickering in the torchlight. Abaddon made a strangled sound in the back of his throat and waved his hand choppily – Remus' shirt, still lying in a crumpled heap in the corner, disappeared and reappeared a moment later on Remus. Remus hissed softly but didn't say anything. Abaddon frowned, tucking a strand of long, chestnut hair behind his ear distractedly.
"Get up, darling!" he commanded loudly, prodding Remus sharply in the ribs. Remus glared balefully up at him.
"I – can't." he hissed through gritted teeth.
Abaddon clucked his tongue impatiently and yanked his wand out of his pocket, waving it edgily at Remus. "Mobilicorpus." he snapped, his left hand twitching impatiently at his side. Not waiting to see Remus rise slowly up in the air, Abaddon turned on his heel and stalked quickly out of the room, glancing fitfully from side to side as he entered the corridor and waited for Remus, his face a stony mask, to drift out after him.
The corridor was pitch-black now, the torches in the room dying out moments before the door snapped shut. The door and pillars shimmered, turning back into a plain, crumpling stone wall. "You really thought I was lying, didn't you, Remus?" Abaddon asked at last, his face agitated. He turned to look over his shoulder at Remus, who was floating a few feet off of the floor. Remus glared defiantly at him.
"You – were lying." he said coolly. Abaddon's face twitched as he abruptly stopped walking, fumbling for something with his free hand…there was a soft clink, and Remus could feel rather than see something swing open next to him.
"Such faith in your friends, my dear." whispered Abaddon finally, waving his wand. Remus fell heavily back down to the ground, and Abaddon delayed a moment before jerking him roughly upright again. "Do you think that it is merited? Do you think that he didn't suspect you? Do you think that he would die – have died – for you?"
Remus hesitated. Then slowly, deliberately, he answered, "Yes."
Abaddon laughed hysterically, throwing Remus forward into the cell and slamming the door shut behind him. "Then I believe, Remus Lupin, that you are wrong." he whispered furiously, turning on his heel and stalking as quickly as he could out of the dungeons.
Remus waited until the brisk tapping of his boot heels died away before exhaling slowly. He slowly, painfully pushed himself up to a crouch, biting down on his lip and squeezing his eyes shut as he scooted hobblingly backwards until he was lying against a rough stone wall. Unable to suppress a small gasp as he eased his back against the wall, he turned his head sharply as he heard someone whimper in reply.
"Harry?" he called cautiously, forcing his voice to remain steady as Harry let out another strangled sob. "Harry, it's…alright, it's just…me…"
"R-Remus?" whispered Harry pitifully. Harry's voice was hoarse – it sounded as though he had been crying.
"It's just…me, Harry." Remus murmured again – his voice sounded as though it were on the verge of breaking. "It's alright…"
Remus could hear rather than see Harry shuffle towards him – he braced himself, and a moment later Harry, his hands outstretched, stumbled into him. With a strangled sob Harry collapsed, burying his head in Remus' shirt and throwing his arms around his neck as tightly as he could. Remus stifled a cry as his back rubbed against the stone wall, but didn't pull away – instead he pulled Harry onto his lap, holding him tightly and rubbing his back soothingly as Harry began to sob uncontrollably.
"You pr-promised." managed Harry at last, sniffling loudly and nestling against Remus' shoulder. "You, you said you w-w-wouldn't get h-hurt, and, and…"
"Shh." interrupted Remus soothingly, shifting carefully as he tried to find a more comfortable spot on the wall. "I'm – alright, Harry, I'm – alright…"
"N-no…,"
"I'm alright." said Remus gently, cutting Harry off and carefully easing Harry to his side. He could feel Harry trembling uncontrollably, and he draped his uninjured arm carefully around Harry's slender shoulders, pulling him closer. "They just – wanted – to talk – for awhile."
"They, they d-didn't…"
"I'm fine." said Remus as firmly as he could. Harry shuddered but didn't say anything.
At last, his voice a mere whisper, Harry murmured, "I th-thought they'd kill, killed you." He was trembling again, and Remus suspected that he was forcing himself not to cry. "I w-woke up, and you were, were gone…" Harry sniffed and buried his head against Remus' side, making Remus wince involuntarily. "I thought you'd died." Harry finished, his voice muffled.
"I'm not going to die." said Remus gently, trying as hard as he could to keep his voice steady. He hesitated for a moment, then added in a fierce whisper, "Neither of us is going to die."
His gaze drifted over towards where he knew the cell bars were, and his voice hardened. "Neither of us."
A/N - I promise, the Remus-torture wasn't in there simply for the angst factor! There was a reason for it, promise!
Okay...I've been thinking about this, and I've decided that all of these review responses take up too much room. If you have a question or leave a long review I'll answer it, but I think it's going to take too much room to keep answering all of these reviews like this. I love 'em, I love every single one, but...I dunno. What do you guys think?
Next update - The Dark Lord's Promises. In which Severus has a chat with Dumbledore, James begins to realize the truth (with a little help from everyone's favorite evil overlord), and featuring a test of Lucius' nasal capacities. Coming soon!
Please review! Thanks!
