Ficlet 11: Superlative Shenanigans
Sam-
Could you pick up sample 2X-347-7b from the biology lab and bring it to my office? I think I'm on to something!
-Daniel
Sam balances the aforementioned sample in one hand and reads the email again as she kicks distractedly at Daniel's office door. It's not that Sam minds helping out Daniel with his research, she enjoys the archaeologist's company after all, she just can't quite figure out what Daniel could want with the slimy substance now gurgling ominously in the container.
Sam tucks the email in one pocket and knocks impatiently at the door again. "Daniel?"
The door cracks open and a hand snakes out, grabbing Sam and pulling her roughly into the office. Sam stumbles into the room, hugging the container to her chest while her free arm automatically rises to a defensive position.
"It's about time!" a voice exclaims.
Sam opens her eyes to find herself tightly ensconced in Daniel's office with Jack.
"Excuse me?" Sam asks, blinking rapidly in the low light and trying to figure out what exactly Jack is doing in Daniel's office.
"I sent that email over 20 minutes ago!" Jack says.
"You sent that email?"
It's only then that Sam registers what Jack is doing in Daniel's office. A complex, rickety platform apparently made out of old pipes and an erector set supports a bucket right behind the door.
"Bucket over the door?" Sam hisses. "Isn't that a little childish?"
"Maybe if I was just going to fill it with water," Jack says with an impish grin.
Before Sam can process that worrying statement, he reaches out and snatches the requested sample from Sam's hand, dumping it carelessly into the bucket.
"Jack!" Sam cries. "Are you insane?"
But Jack just hushes her, his head cocked slightly to the side as if listening for something before reaching out to snap off the lights, crack the door slightly ajar, and adjust the bucket carefully over the door.
"You can't-"
Jack's hand slapping over Sam's mouth cuts off any further comment and he shoves her bodily into Daniel's closet before following her in. The doors are cracked open just enough for them to have a clear view of the booby-trapped door.
"What are you….twelve?" Sam mumbles against Jack's hand.
He grins at her in the dim light, his face barely inches from hers.
Sounds in the hallway still both of them and in the next moment, the door to the office carelessly pushes open, revealing Daniel balancing a precarious stack of documents and a steaming cup of coffee.
"Uh-oh," Jack whispers against Sam's ear, but he doesn't sound particularly contrite about the doomed documents.
The bucket, its support having been knocked down by the opening door, hovers indecisively for a few moments before tipping gracefully onto Daniel's head. Papers and coffee plummet to the ground, dropped by a sputtering Daniel covered head to toe in green slime.
And then, ever so slightly, Daniel Jackson begins to luminesce.
Sam can feel Jack's stifled laughter reverberating through her back.
"What the hell is that?" Sam murmurs.
"A little something brought back from P2X-347 by SG-8," Jack notes gleefully.
"So I guess you do read the occasional report."
Jack merely snorts softly in response.
Daniel, meanwhile, still stands in utter shock, staring at his glowing fingers. And then, abruptly, he begins to twitch.
"What now?" Sam asks, alarmed by Daniel's erratic movements.
Stifling another round of body-shaking laughter, Jack says, "It also makes you really itchy."
That shouldn't be funny. Really. One moment Sam is glaring disapprovingly at Jack, and then the next she has to turn her face into Jack's shoulder in an attempt to smother the uncontrollable laughter currently crawling up her throat.
Somewhere mid-struggle to maintain her composure, Sam suddenly becomes aware that Jack's hand has come up to cradle the back of her head, his breath washing warmly over her face. She is hyper-aware of the small space of the closet and every point of contact between their bodies.
Sam pulls back as much as she can in the small space. She opens her mouth to ask him if he is sure that stuff all over Daniel isn't toxic, but the words die in her throat when she looks up to find Jack soberly considering her. His fingers curl softly in her hair.
They stare at each other for long moments until Daniel's yell booming through the office breaks the moment.
"JAAAACK!" he screams before rushing out of the office and down the hallway.
Sam wastes no time pushing back out of the closet, careful to avoid the glowing pool on the floor. Clearing her throat, she says, "Dare I ask what Daniel did to deserve that?"
Jack shrugs. "It's a team thing."
Sam laughs softly, trying to ignore that it sounds slightly forced. SG-1 and their crazing bonding practices.
"Well," she says, brushing off her lab coat, "I hate to see what he's going to do to you in retaliation."
Jack gifts her with a lopsided grin that makes her fleetingly wish to be back in the cramped closet.
"Why do you think I had you check out that stuff under your name?" he asks cheerily.
Sam doesn't usually swear like a sailor, but it seems like the appropriate thing to do.
The next morning, Sam enters her office to find every single item on her desk carefully superglued to the surface.
"It's a team thing," she whispers to the empty room.
All she can do is smile.
