Chapter Ten: Corrupting Shadows
Where the hell am I?
Takuma found himself in what seemed to be a classic fairy-tail cave. He was surrounded by weaponry: there were swords, lances, halberds, even some guns. It seemed someone had been building up an armory with which to conquer Japan.
"It's glorious, isn't it?"
The voice sounded sort of like Takuma's, but was…layered. It seemed that there were several people speaking in unison, instead of just one. Takuma spun around and saw…himself.
It was like looking into a dark, twisted mirror. The figure before him had the same stature, the same clothes, the same unkempt black hair. But his eyes…the whites of his eyes were yellow, and they shone with a malicious glee that made Takuma shudder.
"Who…who are you?" Takuma asked, terrified.
"I'm Takuma Yuuto!" the strange figure proclaimed, spreading his arms out. "I'm you, of course!"
"But…huh?" was all Takuma could manage.
"Look at all this!" The other Takuma spun around, gesturing to the room at large. "I've been building this up for years. Over there, those are my swords of shame. Here's my halberds of humiliation!" He picked up a bazooka, pointing it at the cave wall. "And these are my firearms of fury!"
He fired a shot, making Takuma jump. The round collided with the wall of the cave with a massive explosion, and when the dust settled, there was a crater at least six feet deep left behind. Takuma was speechless, while the other Takuma was cackling. "With all this weaponry at my disposal, destroying the world will be a cinch!"
"Destroy…the world?" Takuma parroted, dumbstruck.
"Obviously. Nobody understands you, Takuma. Everything everybody does pisses you off, isn't that right? And when you fight back, everyone just leaves you alone, like some nobody! Never has anyone been able to sympathize! So, you want to destroy them."
"No…" Takuma backed away. "No, that's not true…."
"But, I understand you, Takuma!" the other Takuma said excitedly, taking a step towards Takuma. "After all…I'm you!"
"No…this isn't me…you're…." Takuma pushed his counterpart away. "You're…not…ME!"
The other Takuma stumbled and fell, but rolled back to his feet. "No…I'm me now. And I'm going to destroy it all!"
Takuma suddenly felt very weak. He fell to his knees. His vision was blurring; it looked like the other Takuma was bulging, warping, growing, transforming. His ears were filled with the terrible, horrible cackling.
Takuma slumped to the ground, staring at the monstrosity above him. He couldn't think; all he knew was the cold, crippling fear that had seized him. A single thought kept repeating itself in his head.
Am…am I going to die?
Takuma snapped awake. He was out of breath, covered in a cold sweat. He looked around and saw Yui at his side. "Yui-chan…?"
"You were mumbling in your sleep," she said, sounding concerned. "You sounded scared, I…I was worried."
Takuma chuckled, ruffling Yui's hair. "I just had a nightmare about something that happened a long time ago. Go back to sleep."
"Can…can I stay here?" she asked timidly.
"Huh?" Takuma replied, confused.
"It's just…I'm scared, Yuuto-san…." She looked down, abashed.
"Well, I suppose…." Takuma said.
Yui beamed at him, giving him a hug. "Thank you, Yuuto-san!"
She curled up next to him and had soon fallen asleep. Takuma stared up, unable to sleep. The truth was, hardly a day went by that Takuma didn't think about the day he first encountered his Shadow. After denying it for so long, having his darkest secret laid bare like that had left him nearly catatonic. Eventually—with the help of Teddie—he had been able to accept that there was a part of him that had wanted to destroy the world. But since then, his newfound friends had made him realize that maybe, he just needed to change his perspective.
But he couldn't forgive that part of himself. He had almost succumbed to his Shadow's words, and at the time, destroying everything around him had sounded tempting. Even now, six months after his Persona had awakened, he could still feel the pull of his Shadow. For that reason, he both loathed and feared his Shadow—and by extension, himself.
Takuma took a deep breath, then exhaled. My Shadow is gone. I overcame it. It's never coming back. The mantra managed to soothe him, but Takuma couldn't shake the nagging feeling in the back of his mind, that maybe, just maybe….
Takuma shook his head. He stood up, careful not to wake up the sleeping Yui, and walked across the clearing. Rentaro was on watch. Takuma sat down next to him.
Rentaro looked at him. "What's wrong, Yuuto?"
"Nothing you'd understand," Takuma replied.
"Suit yourself." Rentaro faced the darkness again. "There's something I was wondering about you, Yuuto."
"Just one thing?" Takuma responded. "You disappoint me, Satomi."
"It's actually about your sword," Rentaro continued. "How can it injure Gastrea?"
"Um," Takuma said, dumbfounded. "It's a sword. I swing it, and it cuts stuff."
Rentaro's face darkened. "You know what I mean, Yuuto."
"I'm afraid I don't. Maybe I didn't explain it well enough? Pressure is dependent on both the force exerted and the area over which that force is exerted. So if you exert a large force over a small area—"
"Is it Varanium?" Rentaro interrupted.
"Huh? Um…I don't think so. Maybe? I don't know, I didn't make the damn thing!"
"Who did?"
"Nobody you know!" Nobody I know, either, but that's beside the point. "I got it from my senpai, okay? What's the big deal about Varanium, anyway?"
"It's the only metal that can stop Gastrea from regenerating," Rentaro said. "Anything else just makes them angry."
"That's…interesting," Takuma replied. "I wonder why Gaia can injure them?"
Rentaro grunted. He coughed, then stood up. "I believe it's your turn to take watch, Yuuto."
Takuma nodded. "Take care, Satomi."
Rentaro began walking away, then coughed again. He doubled over suddenly.
"Satomi? You alright?" Takuma asked, on alert.
Rentaro just kept coughing. Takuma rushed over to him. Rentaro was coughing up blood. Lots of blood. Internal bleeding. What caused it? Takuma thought back to their duel, and to the finishing blow: Gaia's hilt in Rentaro's abdomen. Shit! Why did I do that?
He had to think fast. How do you stop bleeding? You cover up the wound and apply pressure. But what if the wound was on the inside? You get them to a hospital. That wasn't an option. Was he just going to let Rentaro die?
Letting him die…. Yui had been in a similar situation, when Takuma met her. What did he do then?
Persona.
Takuma pulled his damaged Evoker out of its holster and held it at his temple. If he pulled the trigger, the recoil would likely damage the Evoker beyond repair. He'd be totally stranded—without a Persona, he was just a kid with a sword. But if he didn't pull the trigger, Rentaro would die. Someone would die because he didn't take action.
Some dark corner of his mind whispered, Two birds, one stone, Takuma. You get to keep your power, and destroy a life
No! You have no power over me anymore! Takuma thought desperately. Gathering his courage, Takuma whispered, "Ishtar," and squeezed the trigger.
He felt his Evoker shatter from the kickback as the form of the horned goddess appeared. She spread her hands over Rentaro, making him glow. After a few seconds, the glow faded, and the Persona shattered, fragmenting just as Takuma's Evoker had.
Takuma slumped backwards, feeling the drain on his psyche. Tentatively, he tried accessing his Personae. Ishtar, Kin-Ki, Saturnus—all gone. I'm…alone.
Suddenly, Takuma felt very, very small. The one edge he had in this unfamiliar world was gone.
Rentaro sat up, dazed. "What happened?"
"Don't worry about it. Go to sleep," Takuma said hurriedly.
"Did you…?"
"Just go!" Takuma was alarmed at the ferocity in his own voice.
Rentaro opened his mouth, then closed it and went to his bedroll.
Takuma sat where Rentaro had been sitting, grasping his head in his hands. His Personae had been his armor, his shield, and now they were just stripped away.
Well, except for one: his very first Persona.
Takuma held his hand out, trying to force the luminescent blue card into existence. He thought he saw a flicker, but it was gone as soon as it had appeared. Takuma sighed, dropping his head into his hands.
Suddenly, he coughed. He felt something hot and wet hit his hands. Puzzled, he held them in the moonlight.
In the light of the moon, his blood was black as midnight.
