New chapter, longest until now!This one is (as you might guess if you've seen it) inspired from the coronation day in Frozen. The dress is the same as Elsa's, although there are dwarf runes on this one^^
This scene has been for a quite long time in my head though, and writing is harder than I've expected. Especially when they're pledging their services and after that was really just the first words I could think of. Not really perfect, I know.
Nevertheless, hope you enjoy it!
Thanks for the reviews (and the followers, still) and please feel free to review or follow!
Next chapter btw will probably be continuing where it ended here.
Breaking the rules
When I return home, I let myself fall on the bed, feeling tired and sad. I've just been on an expedition with other, the whole day long, trying to find my father or a clue from where he might be. As usual, no one hasn't found anything, but Thorin didn't want to give up hope. I don't want to give up either, but I can't hold it any longer. Since we got here in Eriador and we settled us next to the mountains, we have been looking for Thraín everywhere. The expedition today was a really long search, walking further than we usually did. But not a single sign was found today, and not a single person did know where he was or had seen him. Even an orc pack we ran into didn't seem to know, so we killed them all. With extremely tired eyes we walked back, and now I'm already falling asleep. I have only eating once, this morning. I'm so hungry…
I wake up from the noise outside, and find myself lying on my bed with the same smelling clothes from yesterday. I haven't moved the whole night, luckily didn't have any nightmares either, and my hair is an absolute mess. Not that I care about that, though. Wishing I could sleep for the rest of the day as well, I slowly get up and let myself fall out of bed. I hobble to the kitchen, take something to drink and eat while I brush my hair. When I'm finished I braid it, brush my teeth and go outside again. Today there was work to do.
I almost bump into a dwarf, and it takes me a while to recognize him.
'Oh, I'm sorry Dwalin.' I apologize, but the dwarf doesn't seem to care.
'Dís, I was looking for you.' He says, and I thought I hear a slight tone of concern in his voice, but that couldn't be right? Dwalin was never concerned, I probably just imagined it.
'Really, Dwalin, what is it?' I ask politely.
'It's Thorin. He didn't sleep this night, and he's you-know-where. I tried to convince him last night to get some sleep, but he refuses to. I know you're about the only one who can manage him, so I hope you can convince him from getting away there and sleep.' His voice nor his face shows any form of concern now, but his words do.
I give a small sigh, shaking my head. 'Thorin only obeys himself, I don't think there's much I can do. If he doesn't want to sleep, he doesn't want to. But maybe I should try, at least. Thank you Dwalin, you can go back to your work.' I say before the dwarf can say anything else, and walk away. Since we were in our new settlement, we hadn't got any rest, especially Thorin. I always simply suppress the feeling of concern growing in me, since I tried but didn't succeed. Thorin was the most stubborn dwarf I know, after myself than.
I come to a small but good looking house, a bit further away from the rest, and it seems abandoned. It's the house of my father, shall he return. I get in and close the door behind me as quietly as I can. I walk through the hallway, entering the last door and put my hand on the knob. I open the door, walking inside and see the only other person who came here from sometimes. Thorin.
It's supposed to be the working room for our father, and it's traditional that above the desk of the king was a picture of his heirs. I look at it, my face going sad again. As soon as this house was ready, Thorin and I hang up the picture that was painted by that angry dwarf some while ago. Frerin is still on it as well.
When I couldn't sleep one night because I had to many nightmares about Frerin's death, I slipped out of my house and came here to stare at the picture. I didn't expect Thorin to be there as well, but he was. We seemed to think the same thing, so I just sat next to him waiting for the dawn to come, while we were staring at Frerin.
We both caught each other sometimes here, and if one of us has disappeared, only the other knew where he or she was. She had been crying once, but Thorin found her and she felt so ashamed that she never cried in front of the picture any more, too scared that Thorin would find her again and he didn't need a crying sister on his side. Later, Dwalin was searching for his missing friend, and found him here. He promised not to tell anyone, but I'm concerned that he might do it if Thorin doesn't get some sleep. Since I'm here as well a lot of times, I don't want that to happen, and because we want to be alone here.
I don't say anything when I walk into the room, I just close the door behind me again and sit on the floor, staring at Frerin's blue sparkling eyes and his cheeky smile. Then I look into the real version of those eyes, though they belonged to another person who didn't had any smile at all on his face, just a sad one.
'Thorin.' I whisper, standing up again and walk towards him. He doesn't even look up or aside, his eyes just stay on his brother. I know that look from before, and it gives me a shiver down my spine. 'Thorin, it's not your fault he's dead.' I kneel before him, looking up to him with pleading eyes. 'He said himself so; you remember?'
Finally, he spoke, but not the words that I want to hear. 'Of course I remember. But do you think those words were real? He just didn't want me to feel bad about, though he knows it's my fault. He just lied, Dís, to make me feel better. I prefer the truth, than.'
'He didn't lie to you, he would never do that!' I protest immediately. Frerin would never lie about such things, he simply knew it wasn't Thorin's fault.
'Brothers and sisters lie to each other, to make the others feel better, Dís.' His voice sounds terribly cold.
'So you lied to me that you know it isn't your fault for my sake?' I say with a thick throat.
He doesn't answer me, but I can see the answer written on his face.
'Well, what do you think that will help? I would find out anyway, and now I have it doesn't really help making me feel better. It's making me feel even worse, actually.'
Thorin still doesn't reply, so I give up. You can't have an argument with somebody he doesn't even say something. Annoyed by this, my tone gets a bit sharper.
'Thorin, you need to get some sleep. I'm not a fool, I know you haven't slept tonight, and if you continue like this you'll be dead yourself, and I don't need another dead brother so if you don't come along I'll simply drag you out of this chair myself, and you can say or do anything you want than but I won't listen to you anymore.' I say and stand up, giving him a challenging look. Thorin is stronger than me and he knows that, so if he wants to stay in that bloody chair he could, but I don't care. I have better things to do today.
'Dwalin told you, I know that.' He says in an irritated tone, but he gets up and follows me to the door.
When we're outside I lock the door, and walk towards Thorin's house. I order him to stay there and sleep, and that if he gets out within the following five hours, he'll learn his sisters wrath.
I start working on my jewellery, feeling particularly bad. I know I shouldn't have been so mean to Thorin but he really needed some sleep and I was getting really worried inside. Worried to lose another brother, and that's the last thing I want now. I also wish I could show him that it isn't his fault Frerin is dead; but how? He doesn't listen to my words, not even Frerin's, nor the other dwarves. How can I make him know this? His face and tone scared me to death when he spoke those words those minutes ago. Another shiver runs down my spine and I pray to Mahal for some help. Maybe father's return would make Thorin feel better? But he seems to have vanished completely, whether he's dead or alive.
The next day, Thorin and I have been summoned to my grandmother's house. When I heard the new I wanted to bang my head against the door, assuming that it'll be her lessons again, which were really quite horrible. But when I heard that Thorin was coming as well, I assume it's something different if she wants to see us both; she barely spends time with Thorin. They can't really get along together, and they think that's the perfect reason to not see each other so often. But I can't stand her either, even more than Thorin to my idea, yet I spent hours and hours a week with her. I'm thirty-nine, and still get so much lessons that I could get nightmares of those.
I ask the dwarf who came to tell me the message if he knows why, but this is according to him all he knows. I sigh and put on my cloak, the cold winter air now truly hanging around.
When I arrive at her house, Thorin's already waiting before the door, also wearing a cloak. His face was still the same heart-sinking expression, and his voice sounds a bit rough. Maybe he's getting ill.
'Do you know why grandmother summoned us?' I ask hopefully, but I'll probably get an answer soon anyway.
'No, I don't. I hoped you did.' He says while he shakes his head, and knocks on the door.
'You haven't knocked on the door yet?' I ask surprised. He seemed to be standing here for quite a while and it's really cold, and his voice doesn't sound great either.
'I was waiting for you.' He replies before an old dwarf-woman opens the door and looks at us. Her gray her was in a countless number of braids in ways even I don't understand.
'Ah, Thorin, Dís, I was expecting you. I took quite some while, I have to say.' She says, looking firmly at me during that last sentence.
We both give a small bow. She seems to know that Thorin arrived her much earlier than I did, to my annoyance. Knowing arguing with my grandmother is the last thing I should do, I simply bend my head and say: 'I'm sorry, grandmother.' I bite on my lip to not say why, because she doesn't care and the last time I did it she scolded at my for a full minute.
'You mustn't bite your lip, Dís.' She says disapproving, stepping aside to let us in.
I gave a small nod and follow Thorin inside, happy that that was it.
'Take off your cloaks and follow me.' She says, and we both obey her. I'm also happy that's warm inside, because it wouldn't take long outside before my hands would turn blue and purple of the cold. It surprises me how fast winter had come.
We come into a room which was scary neat; even worse than Thorin, father or grandfather. Being neat certainly wasn't a thing that belonged to me or Frerin, though.
'Where for did you summon us, grandmother?' Thorin asks in his most polite voice.
'I'll tell you now.' Is her reply.
My face turns into a grimace. She told me that I shouldn't say anything until there was spoken to me, but Thorin being the heir, maybe even king, could speak to who and whatever he wants.
'Don't look like that and listen.' My grandmother says when she notices my face.
I suppress again an irritated sigh and look as normal as I can.
'Yes, you'll be wondering why you are summoned here.' She starts. Although it sounds like a question, I know it isn't and keep my mouth shut, thinking how long it's going to take before she finally says it, which is much more useful than telling me how to behave. As if she could read my mind, she continues.
'Thraín is nowhere to find anymore, and we searched for almost two months now, nearly non-stop. We have to accept that we can't find him anymore, and that he's probably dead. Yes, Thorin, we have to. You can't rule a kingdom like this.'
Thorin had indeed opened his mouth to protest, but had slowly closed it again while the words went through us. You can't rule a kingdom like this, she said. Did that mean?
'We don't have Erebor anymore, so we can't crown you. But you are the king, right now. And we shall have a little ceremony, for those dwarves who think that's necessary. Even in Erebor it wouldn't be necessary though, when your father and grandfather die you're the king anyway.' She says, and we both look at her in a bit startled state.
Of course, she's absolutely speaking the truth, yet it had become a bit unexpected.
'We shall have the ceremony in two days, so make sure you'll be ready. I already made some arrangements, so it shouldn't be any problem.'
If it was a problem, Thorin didn't dare to speak against her, since her eyes were very determined. Finally, he nods.
'That isn't a problem, grandmother. Thank you for your trouble.' He says and gives a nod, which is returned by my grandmother. I didn't dare to ask it until now, but my curiosity (what is a very undwarf-like thing) needs to know.
'Than, why have you summoned me, grandmother?' I ask as politely as I can, being very careful to avoid the word 'but,' the word my grandmother probably hates most.
She looks at me, thank Mahal not angry. 'Good question, Dís.' She even says what makes my eyes sparkle with hope for a few seconds.
'When in Erebor there is crowned a new king, dwarves can pledge to the king that they'll always be true to him and that they'll serve him. His nearest siblings are obliged to do this, and since you're the only one left who is obliged to do this, your speech can be somewhat longer.'
My jaw drops open. 'Wait, what?' I say, my two most used words, unfortunately two that my grandmother hates as much as but. But before she can speak again, I'm first.
'Do you expect me to do a speech, and all of this?' I ask terrified. If there's one thing I hate and am scared of as well, it is a speech. And what on earth do I have to say than?
'I expect you to listen and obey my orders, and don't use those words anymore.' She says in a firm voice. 'And, because Thorin hasn't any heirs yet, and neither have you, you also need to do a little ceremony where if Thorin dies, you'll get the crown.'
I raise from my seat, looking angry and startled at the same time. Thorin looks also really confused, but when he sees I'm standing up he tries to pull me back down again, but I shake off his hand.
'I'm not going to do that!' I yell angrily.
'Sit down, Dís, and stop behaving like a little child! There has never before been a queen on the throne, but since you're the only one old enough you can if Thorin dies! It's an honour! And as soon as someone's old enough to take over the throne, he will.' She says with a raised voice, but not a yell.
This words make me completely mad. 'An honor? You think it's an honour? I don't want to be a fricking queen, I'm not like you! What makes you think that I want anything at all, if Thorin dies? He isn't going to die, not now not ever!'
'Yes, he will, and now sit down! The ceremony can be held about three days.'
This even shocks me more than all she has said the past minute.
'But that's Frerin's birthday!' I protest so quickly, that even Thorin and grandmother look up in surprise.
'It was Frerin's birthday, you mean. It doesn't matter anyway, even if he would live.' She says and the look on her face makes me want to throw something at her. Instead of that I make fists of my hand and my nails go deeply into my skin. Without saying another word I race out of the room, taking my cloak from the hallway and run outside, to the safest place I can imagine here were almost nobody could find me, definitely not grandmother.
Curled up like a little ball against the cold wall in the small room, I press my arms over my legs and lay my head on my knees. I stare at the picture in front of me with dead eyes. My gaze stays on the dwarf I wish he was somehow here again. I've been in here for almost an hour now, and finally the door is opened with a cracking noise. I'm surprised that it took so long for him to come after me. Not that I minded, I wish he wouldn't come at all and just leaves me here.
'That took you long.' I speak my mind, but my gaze doesn't leave the picture for more than a second.
'Well, we're like each other, Dís. I know you don't want me to come here at all.' He says while he is sitting next to me as well, like we always do here.
'I don't think were that much like each other at all, Thorin. You seemed to stay perfectly calm about all grandmother said, no matter how crazy or twisted the idea was.' I stick my chin in the air, already feeling a lot better with just saying that.
'Well, if I'm honest, that wasn't really a clever thing to do Dís.' He admits, but I simply roll my eyes.
'Oh really? Wow, thanks for the advice Thorin.' I say in a tone were the sarcasm drips off it.
He opens his mouth, but I'm first again.
'I know, I'm sorry Thorin. But you couldn't expect from me to just let that happen. I don't want it, so why would I do it? I have no problem with those pledging things, but I don't want to give a stupid speech in a whole crowd, and I'm certainly not going to do that other thing, especially not on Frerin's birthday! Did you hear what she said? She said it doesn't matter anyway. And she doesn't sound at all like she minds it if you'll die, and she thinks it's great to be a queen. Well, if she does like it so much, why isn't she going to do that stupid ceremony where she can become a queen if you die. She thinks it's an honour! Really, it's unbelievable. She's such a-'
'Alright, alright!' Thorin interrupts me before I say things that I really shouldn't say.
'I agree with you, but there's nothing we can do about it. And you must see the facts, Dís. I'm not immortal and if I die, who'll be in charge than? The dwarves will fight for the crown, and the strongest one wins. And in my experience, that's usually a bad thing.'
'That's not true, Dwalin will win.' I can't help that a little grin appears on my face, and Thorin chuckles. 'Yes, well, probably, but I don't think he'll join a fight to get the crown.'
Suddenly something pops into my mind. 'Balin is only three years younger than me, why can't he do that bloody ceremony?' I ask.
'I'm sure that there's a reason for that.' Thorin says, and I can hear that he knows what I'm thinking but doesn't want to say it. But I don't care, so I say it.
'Yes, grandmother would have looked through so many other options if other dwarves can't do it because she really doesn't want me to get the crown because I'll be a horrible queen.' I say, rolling my eyes again.
'Well, I don't think you would be a horrible queen, Dís, and-'
'No, it's the truth. I don't have a problem with that, but that's not the reason I don't want that stupid crown. I don't want it because if you die, it will constant remind me of you. I don't want to be called a princess now, because it keeps reminding me of Frerin who refused that people called him a prince. And if you're dead, I can't rule a kingdom. I probably won't do anything.'
'Dís, you mustn't think like that. You know I'm a warrior and it could be that I die, and if you stop living than-'
'Ha, you see!' I jump up, and Thorin quickly follows, looking a bit worried at me.
'What?' he asks.
'You wouldn't want me to stop living if you die, and that's exactly what Frerin has told you when he died. Don't lie to me mister, you told me he did and now don't tell me that that was a lie as well. Frerin doesn't want you to stop living either, and yet you do it anyway!'
Thorin, who hadn't expected any of this, looks startled for a moment but quickly regains himself, sort of.
'I'm not dead.' He says in a dead voice. Uh, the irony.
'Maybe, but you'll soon be if you ask me. And you don't really live as well. You live in the way that you breath, but not in the way that you enjoy it as well, that you feel alive.' The words stumble out of my mouth, feeling relieved that I finally got to say this.
Thorin seems to be doubting, like there's an angel and devil on his shoulders telling him what to do. To my relief, he apparently listens to the angel.
'Fine, than. I'll try to live, if you do so too. Now you shouldn't lie to me, because I can see you also stopped. I'm sorry if that's partly my fault, Dís.'
I don't say anything, and just think for a while. What would Frerin have done? He like obeying orders as much as I do. 'Alright. But I assume grandmother is going through with her plan, no matter how much I try to convince her to don't.'
Thorin slowly nods his head. 'She actually said to me that I needed to get you back.'
I look at him in disbelief. 'So that's why you came here?' I say angry.
'No, no! I came her because I wanted you to feel better again. I feel better myself, too, now. But it's an hour ago since she asked me, so she's going to kill me probably when she finds me again.'
I chuckle. 'If she's going to kill you for obeying her late, what is she going to do with me?'
Silently I feel really relieved that I seem to have find a way to make Thorin feeling better again. Grieving will take some while, I know. But I didn't expect the person that would solve the problem was the same person who had it.
My grandmother remained sort of calm when she gave me another speech, and I simply nodded my head a few times. We both had send Thorin away, who had offered to stay to see if we didn't start our own private war, but neither of us cared for that either.
Sadly, she was getting really keen again on making another dress for me, so she was making another for me while I was trying to make a speech. I can't believe I'm doing this, I think and bang my head on the table. I stop when it hurts, and my grandmother gives me a warning glare. I grumble and continue writing in Khûzdul, the language I had to give the speech in. I could speak, read and write Khûzdul better than a lot of other dwarves, not because they weren't good at it but because I had become brilliant in it, not very modest but true.
When she finally finished, I finally got to go and make jewellery. The expeditions for my father were half less, and in two days they'll be stopped. Thorin didn't want to, but even I had to convince him that we can't go on like this any longer.
Two days later, everything was awfully busy; the dwarves were getting really excited out there, happy to have a king again. Also a king who didn't have a sickness in the mind for gold, and really listened to them, something that was beginning to fade with my grandfather and even my father. Although this should be a day to be sad on, I think. It constantly reminded me that grandfather, father and Frerin were dead.
Still, I managed to convince my grandmother one thing: What I would do tomorrow, when it was Frerin's birthday, I got to do this evening. Tomorrow I'll be crying through the day, I think bitterly.
I put on another wonderful dress my grandmother made; Another long dress, in a blue-green colour this time, with golden edges and purple and green stitches what were dwarf runes. It could be seen as a strapless dress, though it was sewn together to the black sleeves which covered my whole arms, even the top of my hand, although I was wearing blue gloves so that was pointless. Around the neck (it was a really high dress for a change) there was a beautiful brooch that belongs to my grandmother.
My hair gets a thousand pins and braids, so that it's pinned up and looks more royal.
Finally, I get a huge purple cape with more dwarf runes on it in a darker colour of purple and blue shoes who are very different to the ones I usually wear, which are way more practical and more comfortable.
When I'm finally finished, I walk outside next to my grandmother, also in her own-made dress, and we walk towards a little hill. I hear songs, and this is the first time I hear dwarves singing happy songs again since I was ten years old. This is so wrong, I think. Shouldn't everyone be grieving about their former king, or didn't they care about him? Will they care if their new king dies?
Those horrible thoughts float away when I see Thorin coming. To my surprise, although I shouldn't be surprised, he looks like a real king. His posture, his clothing, just simply him.
After his dreadful long ceremony (not even fifteen minutes, in Erebor it would be nearly three hours) I know that I'm the first one to pledge I need to serve him. It sounds so weird; serving my own brother. I should be serving him because I want to, not because there's some stupid law for it. Yet I get to do hit, take his hand and kneel before him.
'I, Dís, daughter of Thraín, solemnly swear to the king that I will serve him the rest of my life, obey his orders, give my life for him if I have to and treat his heirs as good as him, should he die before I die. I'll treat him with respect and dignity, and look up to him.' I pledge.
I suddenly remember a conversation I had yesterday with my grandmother when I needed to learn this thing.
'And when you're finished, you kiss the ring on your king's hand.' Grandmother said.
'Wait, what? I'm not going to kiss the hand of my own brother!' I say in disgust. It's always the other way around, not like this.
'Yes, you are Dís! And you kiss his ring, not his hand. Even the man do it, Dís.'
I try not to grin as I lean forward to kiss his ring and stand up. Now I should give a speech, I thought. The one I had been preparing for the last two days. But the other dwarves didn't know that. They didn't knew what did and didn't come in this ceremony. The plan had been in my head immediately, and I almost thought it was sin for the speech. But I didn't want to let my grandmother win after she'd been so cruel. I couldn't.
I step back and raise my voice. 'The next one can pledge his or her honour to the king, if he or she wants to.' I say and take a few more steps to the back.
Thorin didn't know this either, but he doesn't move a muscle. I look from the corner of my eyes to my grandmother, who stood forward to pledge her services to her grandson. Her face didn't spoil anything, and she didn't look at me. She simply started her pledge. But I knew this wasn't over. Dwarf after dwarf came, and I thought it was never going to end. I'm surprised about how many dwarves did this ridiculous thing, but I didn't really care either.
I smile when my friend came with her baby, and give her the smallest nod so my grandmother wouldn't see it.
Finally, after more than an hour, every dwarf who wished to pledge his service to the king had done it, and a echo of 'Hail, king Thorin' boomed through the air. I join in, though not as loud as some from whom I hope they were drunk. Didn't look like that, though.
But now I knew it was my turn. Anxious, I take in Thorin's position, who walks a bit to the right. I try to remember what I had to say now, but my mind was so nervous I can't remember. I breath deep in and out a couple of times and look at the impatient crowd. What were the words, what was it that I needed to say right now?
They pop into my mind like birds crashing against the side of my head, going in there and leave a message. I clear my throat, although I don't really know why since my voice is fine and I've already got everyone's attention.
'I am Dís, daughter of Thraín, son Thror, and sister to king Thorin Oakenshield. I am his nearest sibling, since the king nor I have any heirs for the throne. If Thorin will die, and the situation is still the same, I shall take up the crown and lead the people of Durin, for I am a princess of Durin's line and know perfectly well how to rule a kingdom. Now the king is still alive, I also ask his permission.' Feeling quite anxious and smug at the same time because I remembered everything, I turn to Thorin and lower my head again.
'King Thorin Oakenshield, king of Durin's folk, will you agree for giving me the crown if you die and have no heirs to the throne who will follow you?' I ask, suddenly nervous for the answer. What if he suddenly was going to say no, because I didn't give my speech?
'Dís, daughter of Thraín, sister, I agree. When I'll die without heirs, the crown shall be yours.' He gives a small nod and I stand up straight again, feeling relieved.
I walk back, happy to have it all over with. I stride down the hill, happy to leave the crowd of dwarves behind me. I could see on some faces that their not happy about it all; well, that's not my problem, since I'm not happy about it either. I feel horrible, and awfully hollow inside.
Suddenly a hand on my shoulder makes me spin around. I face my grandmother, who was standing before me with furious eyes.
'Dís, what were you thinking?' she hisses. 'You can't simply skip that speech!'
'Actually, I can. I just did it. The dwarves didn't know it was coming, and seeing their faces they weren't really expecting it either. They didn't even notice, probably.'
This only makes her more angry, and I feel her grip painfully on my shoulder. Luckily we were out of sight for the other dwarves. 'This is madness-'
'No, your stupid ideas are madness!' I snarl, retreating my shoulder from here.
'Dís, you're a princess, a future queen maybe, you can't keep disobeying my orders. You have pledged your services to Thorin, so if he says he should do something, you must. All those lessons, remember, means you need to learn to obey instead of doing whatever you want and breaking the rules!'
I honestly couldn't care any less about this all, about being a bloody princess or breaking the rules. 'Well, grandmother, I do whatever I want when I'm a queen, I think. But I won't be one, I sincerely hope. Breaking the rules is more fun than I ever would've imagined, I really understand Frerin now.'
'Yes, Frerin never obeyed my rules either, and look how he ended up!'
Those words sting me more than a sword ever could, and my grandmother immediately seemed sorry for saying that, but when she saw she got me, she didn't say sorry.
But I pull myself together again. 'I have no problem obeying Thorin, because he never would ask me something like this, something this cruel. I know he wouldn't.'
With those words I walk away from her with a fast pass, leaving her behind her startled face. Yes, cruel, I think. I'm not planning to forgive her any time soon. Maybe I'm planning not to forgive her at all.
