Without making a conscious decision, Seto found himself avoiding Jounouchi. It was Yugi's words rattling him, he decided. And the fact that Mokuba, without even pressing him hard for an answer, had easily figured out what he was hiding. He didn't like that people were having such an easy time reading him. Mokuba was one thing. Mokuba had grown up with him, and while there had been more than a few rocky times in their relationship, Mokuba knew him better than anyone else. Yugi and Anzu were a different story entirely. They shouldn't have been able to tell, and if he was so obvious to them, he wondered who else had noticed.

The thoughts plagued him constantly, and while he tried to get back to work as the new year rolled in, he couldn't shake the worry that someone else might know. It was making him avoid messaging Jounouchi, and their usual, spontaneous back-and-forth texts were suddenly absent. And that was okay with him. He wanted to put a little space between them and try to cover his tracks.

As if it were some unspoken agreement, Jounouchi seemed to be avoiding him, as well. Seto couldn't figure out why, but he thought perhaps Yugi had said something to him. Yugi wasn't the meddling sort, and while he'd promised to not tell anyone, he would look out for his friends, even if it meant breaking a promise he'd made to Kaiba Seto. Mokuba was also a potential culprit. Mokuba was the meddling sort, and Seto had not made him promise anything, assuming that the conversation they'd had would stay entirely confidential. But Mokuba would do what Mokuba thought was best for him, and Seto sighed because that was exactly why he'd kept things a secret from him to begin with.

So Jounouchi was avoiding him, and he was avoiding Jounouchi. For two weeks, the avoidance made things easier. Not having the distraction was helpful when Mokuba had been totally on board with the idea of turning his proposed boarding school into a duelist academy instead. They were still keeping the boarding school aspect, but also including classes on dueling. Seto dedicated a lot of extra time on late-night phone conferences with the board and doing some re-engineering of the building designs to get it approved, but they all ultimately agreed that a school geared to teaching the next generation of duelists was a good idea. Good for business. After all, keeping the interest of young duelists, the future, was how they'd maintain their position in the gaming industry. Other subjects would be taught, of course, and Mokuba, true to his original intent, insisted that the tuition to attend be based on a student's income level.

In his opinion, the process had gone well, but after the rush of work had eased up, he sorely missed Jounouchi's presence. He really wanted to see him again, but he reminded himself that it was a bad idea. He'd had a conversation with Alexa shortly after returning to work when she'd carried coffee into his office.

"Were you upset with Jounouchi on the flight back?"

She'd fidgeted, clearly uncomfortable. "We had an argument before you picked us up."

"May I ask over what?"

She'd regarded him somewhat suspiciously. "A few things. He… wasn't being very considerate of my feelings."

"Hmm." Seto was good with that answer, but she clearly had more to say.

"I felt left out. He didn't always translate things for me. I couldn't talk to his sister or his mom or his friend, Honda. Yugi was nice though."

"You met Yugi?" Seto had asked, attention piqued.

She nodded. "He was kind, and he knew enough English to include me."

Seto rolled his eyes. Yugi making friends with people? How typical.

"I just..." she averted her eyes again, shifting uncomfortably. "I'm not sure he's even interested in our relationship anymore. Yeah, he introduced me to his family, but it doesn't feel the same as it did."

Seto frowned, taking a breath. He was just causing all of them pain. Normally, he wouldn't care about hurting others, but he did this time. Hurting an employee, a friend, and, perhaps most frustratingly of all, himself.

The silence lingered on. It felt weird to be totally by himself and longing for another person's presence. A year ago, he'd have laughed at himself for being so ridiculous. For caring so much about someone else not being around. For feeling lonely. He'd have probably even berated himself for the someone that had caused all of these ridiculous feelings being Jounouchi. But that knowledge changed nothing now. He could only carry on in silent self-torment.

He sighed as he rubbed his throbbing temples. He hadn't focused on anything work related in days, though it wasn't for lack of trying. He'd open a document and try to read it, only to get to the end and realize he hadn't actually absorbed any of the words. And now, Alexa had turned in her two-week notice, and that simply frustrated him more. He knew that she was the reason things were running smoothly on the KaibaLand project. As he read her letter, he frowned at her.

"Why?" he questioned, almost hesitantly. He didn't really want to know if she and Jounouchi were running off together, to be away from him, but the curiosity needed sated.

"I found something that suits my interests more," she said simply. "I'm sad that I can't see the KaibaLand project through to completion, but this is what's best for me. It's time to move on."

He suspected there was more to her words than she was letting on, but he refused to press further. He wanted to know the curiosity ate at him, but equally, worry rolled in the pit of his stomach, and he refused to give it reason to run free. He wouldn't. He couldn't. There was already so much anxiety swirling in him. He couldn't let this add to it. "Very well," he agreed to her statement.

"I hope everything works out well for you, Mr. Kaiba," she spoke softly, voice just a whisper.

He eyed her quizzically, trying to find the meaning she was hiding in her tone. With feigned confidence to cover the uncertainty, he finally stated, "I'm sure it will."

She nodded and walked out the door. He wasn't sure what it meant. Any of it. Alexa was…leaving the company. He hadn't spoken to Jounouchi in several weeks, and he wanted to. So badly. But maybe he had had enough of whatever game they seemed to be playing with each other. He'd likely made his choice and would leave with Alexa. A sudden loneliness spread through him, pervasive, and he reached for his phone. He frowned as he looked at the time, realizing that he had no one to call. Mokuba was sleeping right now and wouldn't be up for a few more hours.

His thumb hovered over Jounouchi's name, wanting to call and ask him directly. That wouldn't do him any good either right now though, since Jounouchi was at work. And what would he even ask, anyway? He ran his fingers through his hair, exasperated. Nothing was going his way anymore. It made him want to drink to forget. To take off early and drink away his worries, but a voice in the back of his head cautioned him, suggesting it was a bad idea. It sounded suspiciously like Jounouchi, he thought, telling him that alcoholism tended to be genetic. And maybe a bit like Isono, telling him he probably shouldn't. He took a deep breath, and took the words to heart. He'd been drinking too much recently. It was such an unhealthy way to cope, and he was better than that.

He spent the next few hours staring blankly at a spreadsheet, speaking to whoever barged into his office, and though he stayed terse during the conversations, he welcomed them, feeling thankful for the distraction.

As the week drew to a close, he felt no closer to an answer. He hadn't bothered to ask Alexa about Jounouchi, too nervous to broach the subject, nor had he worked up the courage to ask Jounouchi via text message. He felt pathetic, like he'd turned into an entirely different person. When had he become so weak. It pissed him off. Torn between anger and worry, he left the office for the weekend early.

His suite had been cleaned earlier in the day, his bed made, clean towels placed in the bathroom, and two full bottles of water placed on the kitchenette counter. A common occurrence. The daily routine. He groaned and went to change. Routine. Yes. Stick to the routine. Go to the gym.

And he drowned his thoughts in sweat, exercising with a tenacity he hardly displayed anymore, reminiscent of his youth. His muscles protested, aching from the abuse as he willfully ignored his thoughts and buried his frustrations at himself. If only he could just say something. Anything. He couldn't handle the stand-off he'd unwittingly locked himself in. He wanted an answer, and yet, he feared that answer.

He was going to go out. That's what he would do. Go have dinner. Drink a bit. Not get drunk. He would just have a bit to drink to take the edge off. Which meant, now that he had completely exhausted himself, it was time for a shower. He sulked back to his room, stripping in the bathroom and showering. He'd put the water at a scalding hot temperature, almost hoping it would burn through him. Burn out whatever he was feeling.

It didn't work, but his skin was flushed pink from the heat when he walked out of the shower. In fact, he was sweating from the heat, and it just added to his malaise. Why did everything feel so miserable right now? Hadn't he been miserable enough over the course of his life? All of the motivation to go anywhere drained from him, and he simply reclined in the king size bed, on his back, towel wrapped around his waist, wet hair leaving a wet spot on the pillow, and arm draped over his eyes.

His phone vibrated, and for one second he hoped it was Jounouchi, until he saw Mokuba's name on the screen. That was fine. Mokuba was fine. Mokuba might understand. He answered. "Mokuba," he greeted.

"Hey, nii-sama!" he returned cheerily. "I'm so excited. Akane and I scheduled an appointment to find out if our baby is going to be a boy or girl. It'll be later on in February, but I can't wait!"

Seto smiled, Mokuba's enthusiasm bleeding into him through the phone. "That's good," he said.

His younger brother chattered away, giving him an update on everything, like always. And as always, Seto gave him short answers, little acknowledgements that he was, in fact, still listening.

"You… seem down," Mokuba said several minutes into the conversation.

"It's nothing."

"Is it… what you told me about last month? About Jounouchi?" Mokuba questioned.

He sucked in a deep breath and exhaled. In that moment, he needed to vent. To talk to someone, and the only person he had, had ever had really, was Mokuba. He steeled his nerves as he broached the subject that had been weighing heavily on his mind for the last month. "He… hasn't spoken to me since we returned," Seto shared. "And his girlfriend is leaving KaibaCorp."

"Huh?"

"I guess this means he's leaving, too. I suppose it's for the best. I don't deserve any of the kindness he's shown me. I'm sure I was just reading too much into everything."

"Well…" Mokuba said. "You do tend to overthink things. But I mean, you haven't talked to him. It could be anything. Try to talk to him before you jump to any crazy conclusions."

"Hnn," Seto intoned noncommittally.

"Seriously, nii-sama. Do you think he's avoiding you for some reason? I mean, I can talk to him, if you want. I was going to send him a message today anyway. His birthday is tomorrow, your time."

That got Seto's full attention, and he sat upright in bed, his memory offering up a conversation they'd had on his own birthday a few months ago. How Jounouchi's birthday was on the 25th too, but his was in January. And now… here it was January 24. He'd totally forgotten. "It is, isn't it?" Seto mused.

"It is. Maybe like… start up a conversation by wishing him a happy birthday or something?"

He knew it was a good idea, something he absolutely should try. He sighed and further mussed up his hair with his hand, frowning as he'd spent long enough lying in bed that it had dried sticking up in the worst ways. He'd have to wet it down again before doing anything. "I'll go downstairs and wish him happy birthday. He's working tonight, I'm sure."

"That's good. And nii-sama, I would be happy to help if you need me to. I know you've never done this before."

Sarcastically, he remarked, "Oh yes, because you're an expert."

"I've had more significant others than you have."

"One? That's so many."

"Oh, you don't know everything about me, nii-sama. Akane's just the only one I let you meet."

Seto chose not to say anything else to encourage his gloating, not even an admonishment. "I'm confident in my abilities."

A short bark of laughter, not unlike his own, flooded his ear through the phone. "Yeah, okay. You can't even bring yourself to talk to him. That sure sounds 'confident' to me," Mokuba teased.

"Goodbye, Mokuba," Seto said tersely, frowning at the phone as he pulled it away from his ear, listening for his younger brother's protest.

"Wait! Wait!" he heard shouted, loud enough to hear clearly with his phone held over his lap. He smiled as he brought it back up to his ear. "You really are such an ass sometimes, you know that?"

"So I've been told."

"But seriously, nii-sama. I want you to be happy. And I'll help you if you need it. Just ask."

"I'll be fine, Mokuba," Seto assured.

"I'll take your word for it, nii-sama."

"Hmm. I'm going to go for real now. Goodbye, Mokuba."

"Yeah. Talk to you later."

The phone call disconnected, leaving Seto caught up in his own thoughts. He drew up his resolve. If he backed out now, Mokuba would never let him live it down. He didn't usually mind Mokuba's teasing, but he refused to listen to this one, which would cut far too deeply. Besides, sitting around and doing nothing never accomplished anything. That's not how he'd managed to take over KaibaCorp. That's not how he had kept his position all these years. He wasn't going to just roll over and accept defeat. No. Kaiba Seto wouldn't go down without putting up a fight. Now… he just needed to find the courage to face the fight.

He wet his hair again and dried it with the hair dryer, and as he did so, he decided that the best course of action was to gulp down some liquid courage. A tipsy brain was a less inhibited brain, and perhaps he could find the guts to ask Jounouchi what the deal was. He got dressed, donning a pair of jeans and a sweater, and then he tucked his room key and phone into his pocket and headed to the elevator.

It was a bit earlier than he might normally have arrived at the hotel restaurant on a Friday, but Jounouchi not manning the bar confused him. But perhaps Jounouchi had taken the night off to celebrate his birthday. Maybe he wouldn't be in at all over the weekend. Disappointment rolled over him in waves, and he felt bitterness building in the back of his throat. He really should have let this go. It didn't even feel worth it anymore. The friendship. All of it. Why had he even bothered? He'd spent so long building up a wall to keep everyone out, to spare himself pain, and the one God damned person he'd let in was causing him pain.

Any resolve he'd had earlier to not drink too much crumbled. He didn't want to exist inside his own head. He didn't want to hear his own thoughts. His doubts or loneliness or the little voice in the back of his head telling him not to give up. Flinging himself onto a bar stool, he waited for the bartender to come over. Emmy, right? Yes. That was right.

"What can I do ya for, Mr. Kaiba?" she asked.

"Give me vodka. Three shots of it."

She furrowed her brow but made no comment. He was well aware why he'd received the look; it wasn't one of his usual drinks, but he wanted to forget everything, and he knew from experience vodka would do that. He'd pay for it in the morning, but it would do what he wanted right now. After two more shots, she cut him off. "I'm not giving you anymore until you let those settle in a bit."

He wanted to yell at her, and he started with, "I'm Seto Kaiba! You can't—"

"I can. Part of my job is to cut off people who are drinking too much." She frowned at him, hands on her hips. "Listen, just pick something lighter, like beer. No more vodka though."

He scowled, but agreed. "Whatever you say."

She served him his usual Guinness, and then turned to another customer. It wasn't as though she'd been wrong though. The liquor hit him all at once after a single draught of the beer. He put his head down on the bar top, shutting his eyes as he felt everything spin. Breath in. Breath out. Relax. The feeling would pass before too long.

He didn't know how long he spent with his head on the bar top, and then he felt a hand on his shoulder. The sickening spinning had relented, so he straightened up and looked over, eyes landing on Jounouchi. "You're a mess," he said softly.

It felt like a dream, like he wasn't really there. Like perhaps he'd fallen asleep and none of this was happening. "Jounouchi, where have you been?" he asked.

Jounouchi turned the question back on him. "Where have you been, Kaiba? I ain't seen ya down here in weeks."

Seto couldn't say that he'd been avoiding him. "Busy."

"Looks like ya ain't busy tonight," Jounouchi commented softly, sitting down beside him.

Seto flushed and shifted away, not prepared for the intense relief that flooded through him at being in the blonde's company again. The feeling of elation it elicited in him. "I'm going," Seto announced, overwhelmed.

Seto stumbled as he stood, and Jounouchi was there, supporting him. He tried not to think about how where Jounouch's arm wrapped around his, where their hips brushed against each other's' seemed to catch fire. "You really shouldn't drink so much," Jounouchi advised quietly as they stepped into the elevator. "You can't handle your liquor at all."

The button was pressed, and they ascended. Seto simply hummed in agreement, trying to put distance between them. Trying valiantly to fight with himself, and finding himself unable to do anything, they arrived at his floor, and then at the door of his room. It was quiet. Awkward. Seto scanned his room key, and then he was opening the door, trying to slip in without a word, but Jounouchi followed in after him before flopping onto his normal spot on the couch in the living area.

"God, this is bullshit," he complained.

Seto scowled, wanting him to leave and wanting him to stay and wanting to tell him everything but yet also not wanting to say a word.

"I took off for my birthday. It's tomorrow, right?" He glanced at his phone. "Yeah, tomorrow." He closed his eyes, pulling at his blonde locks in frustration. "I was s'posed to have a party, and now no one's goin' to come."

"You have plenty of friends."

"Do I?" Jounouchi asked, frown on his face. "Doesn't fuckin' feel like it. They're all out enjoying life, and I'm stuck here."

"Then go. You don't have to stay here." With me.

Jounouchi sat up, looking at him like he had said something nonsensical. "You really are drunk, ain't ya?" He sighed. "I don't mean here. I mean…" he spread his arms out and gestured widely, standing up as he did so, "here. In this country, all fuckin' alone."

Seto scoffed and turned away from him. "You have Alexa."

And then Jounouchi scoffed. "Why did I ever think you'd understand? I'm goin'. Happy fuckin' birthday to me! Twenty-nine and ain't no one cares. No, 'Good job, Jounouchi.' No, 'I'm really proud of ya for doin' so well, Katsuya.' All I ever get is fucked over. It's like I'm the universe's biggest joke."

Seto heard his footsteps heading toward the door, and then panic set in. He was trying to understand what Jounouchi had told him. Trying to weigh his words and determine their meaning. And then he sprang into action, the fight he'd been waging in himself finally reaching a conclusion. He had to act. He couldn't just stand and watch and wait any longer. "Jounouchi," Seto called out, hurrying to catch up to him so he could reach out to grab his arm. "Don't go. Please."

"You're drunk, Kaiba. Why else would you to spend time with the biggest loser in the fucking world?" He tried to jerk his arm away, not even turning to look back, but Seto held on tightly.

"Because… I just do. I really do," Seto confessed, hearing the desperation in his own voice. "Katsuya," he pleaded, giving in to the voice screaming at him to not let Jounouchi walk away, to do whatever was required to make sure he stayed, "don't leave me."


Double update! Don't miss chapter 12!