"Her name is…" Alice sang, twirling around the dining room and placing lavender flowers in random nooks.
"Isabella" I finished dryly.
"He told you about her?" Rosalie asked, frowning slightly.
I had expected Rosalie to be livid at this discovery, I had expected her to carry out my anger for me and demand that this human girl not set foot in our house. She would have been the one to point out that Edward was risking too much with this, whether she knew of our nature or not. This was too big a risk…
"Why have you not explained to him the reason this girl should not be allowed a glimpse into our world, whether she is aware that her 'Boyfriend'…" Jasper drawled, arms crossed over his chest and rounding on me.
"She is a friend" Alice giggled. "Just a friend… he needs one of those after the vision I had"
"What vision?" I asked her coughing nervously when Emmett would not stop smelling me.
"He went to Volterra" she sighed grimly, peering up at me with large eyes. "He went there with the intention of staying there long"
"Oh" I sighed twisting away from Emmett's frowning suspicion.
"Why have you not spoken to Edward yet?" Jasper repeated scowling. "This is dangerous not only for our secret, Carlisle, but for the girl and well… my control…"
"This is selfish!" Rosalie shouted. "Why are you not stressing this to him?"
"You haven't really spoken to Edward in a while" Emmett said, brushing my shirt experimentally with his fingers.
"What's going on?" Alice asked.
"We had a little… falling out" I said softly, smiling painfully at them and realizing how lost I had been in the world of Edward and Leah that I had neglected them. "Nothing too serious"
"You smell funny" Emmett frowned. "Like… did you hug a human or some kind of human imposter? … hmm, the scent is a little strong…"
"You do smell funny" Alice agreed scrunching up her nose. "What's that scent… whose is it? Not from your infatuated nursing brigade….?"
"Uh, a patient" I murmured. "I couldn't exactly be rude and refuse their hug, now could I?"
"You are lying" Jasper droned pursing his lips. "What is happening with you and Edward… is this some kind of bravado show of control?"
"You know that is not the case!" I chastised him and he smiled sheepishly at his rudeness. "I have had a hard day… I am going to go shower and you had all better prepare for your brothers… friend. Jasper… now would be a good time to catch a snack"
"Argh…!" Rosalie snarled. "You always favour Edward and let him get away with… well, it might actually turn into a murder…"
"Rose" I said sternly holding her gaze. "Best behaviour… no scaring the girl. Let her leave with the impression her 'Friend' comes from a normal home. Thank the heaven's I bought food… Emmett, cook… put that shirt down please…"
He dropped Edward's black shirt startled and looked at me with wide eyes.
"I have to cook?" Emmett asked in disbelief. "I don't know how to cook…"
"You're a vampire…" I sighed walking up the stairs. "Watch the cooking channel for thirty minutes and become a master chef in less than five, for heavens sake!"
Xx~xx~xX
I can't get her scent off of me.
I tried masking it with various pungent things but all it did was distract its original potency to other vampires. It doesn't matter because it is I that remains with the scent with defined recall, remembering the crucial fragrance with clarity; it's in my nostrils, it had seeped into my skin and every movement I make sends a waft of rosemary spice and juniper invigorating and sweet through the air around me. If that is not enough, my hair is a lost cause. My scalp tingles with her touch, every strand tainted in the holiest of shines from wherever her fingers brushed… my nose… my forehead… my lips… she has claimed them all.
The water cascades down my back, it is searing hot and violent but it can't erase her hot hand brandishing me through my shirt with one simple touch-marking me in some way as hers. Eyes closed and all I can see is her. Breath held and I remember clearly the headiness that assaulted my nose and mind when she moved sinfully over me and set her legs apart wider-releasing that smell.
I had become most strategic, oh I had become most conniving… I had to send Jasper away. I could not contain it in me… this emotion bearing down heavily over my mind, pulling at my righteous conscious with titanium hands and singing sweet immoral lullabies to my mind. I had never wanted to be a demon this much… to lose control….
And it was because of this I had to fight as hard as I had done with the blood. This felt like that first time, when I had woken up to roaring thirst and unforgiving fire. This was a fire… good heavens, sweet Lord, save me… this was a fire and it surrounded me. I was in hell and I had the audacity to dance in the flames with each time I recalled her hot lips on my own, with each time I let her touch me so willingly with fake contest and the worst of it all was to wonder what it would have been like to lose myself in it.
To lose myself in her.
To grab her and take her with me in the darkness of sin. To grab her innocent fire and throw wet judgment over it and fuel its blaze for my own sick need, my own new addiction… this… I knew this.
Those two itsy bitty emotions had woven themselves into one. There was no 'Oh, Edward my son'. There was no 'Oh, Leah… too young and mortal'. There was just want, desire and selfish coveting and I was in dire need of priest if ever I was to remain an atoning demon.
A good demon…
"Carlisle…" Alice whispered through the door of the shower, shocking my eyes open. "They will be here in twenty minutes; I have laid out your clothes…"
"Thank you" my voice came out hoarse and I heard her stall on the other side of the door.
"Carlisle…?" she whispered. "You have been strange…"
"I am okay, Alice" I whispered back, turning the water off.
"I am here…" she sighed moving slowly away from the door. "If you need to talk"
How utterly idiotic I have been. Now, she would watch my future…! This had been cut too close; I had been too reckless with dealing with both Edward and Leah. Edward had been right; my naivety was my greatest evil… I expected the good to fight for its self while I watched and courted sin with flirtatious coy glances.
I paced the bedroom in a blurry motion, thinking of Leah and wondering on her words and well being. Thinking on my tactless handling when I ended things with her by allowing her freedom from caring for something wretched and unattainable to begin with…
How could I have been blind to her affection?
Oh, how could I have been so ignorant… my ignorance would cost a life… it would cost me so much soon… hiding behind it, using it as a shield so I could justify every want and action played in my favour…
"They are here…" Emmett said softly from the kitchen and I started when I heard the Volvo parking in its usual spot.
Now I had a son-a brother and something untitled-bringing human girls to the layer of his demon family to prove a point… and the cherry on everything lay in the fact that I would have to announce to them a possible cause to our immediate departure from Forks after they had settled. After Edward had now decided to do this… Isabella would be most intrigued on such a quick departure…. We didn't need intrigued infatuated girls… and I didn't need Aro taking Edward from me. I needed him happy. He needed her…
It was simple as being a man. I was a man, and this was my brood. We had come here and I would protect all of them the best way I knew. They would be happy… I would be… I didn't need happiness right now, I needed normalcy.
I needed the storm to desist.
Xx~xx~xX
"This is Isabella…" he murmured, smiling softly at her.
"Hi" she said shyly, blushing red and sending an intoxicating aroma through the air, pushing the smell of unsavoury cooked food out of the kitchen.
He introduced her first to Emmett-his brother and less disparaging family member, he then wheeled her around to Rosalie who grunted beautifully and sent me a sulky pout of discontentment, and when Alice arrived with Jasper-she hugged the terrified girl careful and announced that Jasper was tired and they would be heading to their room.
I was last. Purposefully last and I felt Edward's eyes and mental ears reading me carefully as he turned her to me, brought her a step closer, his hand resting prominently on her waist and murmured, "This is Carlisle… my father for all intents and purposes"
"It's a pleasure to meet you , Carlisle" she whispered. "You really do look younger in person"
Wouldn't that be counter productive to our alibi, you mentioning I am younger in person…? I thought and he smiled a small impish smile.
"Isabella…" I said softly and Edward cut me carefully, a low snorting sound.
"You have to call her Bella" he said.
"Only me?" I asked and she blushed when I arched an eyebrow in question.
"Everyone really" she explained. "I prefer Bella"
"Then…" I smiled at her and took her hand carefully in mine. "It is my pleasure to meet the young woman who has made my son so happy"
She blushed furiously, her scent swirling sadistically in the kitchen and sending Rosalie out of the area while Edward's face went rigid, eyes narrowed at me and lips set in a thin line.
"Let me show you my room, Bella" he murmured and disappeared with the girl.
"That went well" Emmett laughed.
"Yes" I whispered, keeping my mind preoccupied with a thousand and one things including the sound of Bella's heart beat. "I do think it went well"
Xx~xx~xX
He had taken her back home after enjoying her admiring intoxicated gaze for an hour in our home. She left her scent on too many things, punishing us for trying to make him happy; I was allowing this punishment after making him eternally sad.
Xx~xx~xX
"You are not to tell her of our nature" I told him sternly and he scoffed. "Edward, I am serious… this is not a backward village… this is a modern world and the Volturi…"
"Would sooner kill an entire village before allowing my talents go to waste for a little girl…"
"And this is why I knew this was a bad idea!" Rosalie shrieked. "You are a pompous selfish brat, do you know that…?"
"Yes" Edward murmured. "I do"
"Edward… you are not selfish or pompous, I refuse to believe that" I said softly, trying to quiet Rosalie. "Now I have something important to say that will put a dent in this little development of yours…"
"He really likes Isabella" Alice murmured. "I have seen it"
"He doesn't act like it" Jasper laughed. "Didn't you say he once made a girl his pet…?"
"What's to say he isn't doing that again…?" Rosalie hissed.
"I told you" Alice sighed. "He likes her… I don't know why he is downplaying it and being difficult"
"Can I say my piece?" I sighed, watching as they scowled and huffed at each other. "I saw something in the…"
"No way" Edward breathed staring at me as the memory of the giant black wolf standing tall in the trees and staring at me with vile dislike fleeted through my mind.
"I saw a wolf" I said quickly. "A wolf of Old"
"From the Old Native American tribe….?" Rosalie asked.
"Yes" I sighed.
"The treaty is still intact" Edward murmured. "I am not moving"
I thought he would want to move, unless he really has become attached to Isabella…
"Her name is Bella and that is not why" he said frowning. "I like it here…"
"I like it here too" Jasper agreed and Rosalie, Alice and Emmett nodded in agreement.
"I suppose if the treaty is intact" I said softly. "But… this new human contact you have made Edward…"
"Do not talk to me about human contact" he snapped and I lost my control for a brief second, remembering Leah's single tear falling as I hurt her with my oblivion of insight on the things in front of me, hurt her when I found myself a little too late to control the situation…
"What did you do?"
"It is nothing" I murmured. "You need to be careful with Bella"
"I always am" Edward snapped.
"You need to understand there is more at stake here…"
"I do" he frowned. "You saw Leah today?"
"I saw Leah" I whispered. "Excuse me… I think I will go for a run, we will discuss this further when I return…"
"Carlisle don't…"
But I was gone.
Xx~xx~xX
"What is going on" Jasper asked walking out of the shadows, his blonde hair dancing in the air like moon beams.
"You will have to be more specific, Mr Hale" I sighed.
"You and Edward…" he huffed, thrusting his hand to the side in frustration
"You mean the human situation I suppose?" I asked him and he nodded once. "Leah was a child who…"
"Was?" he asked cutting me and taking another step towards my still form on the boulder, a slightly intimidating air around him. "Does this imply you will not make contact with her again…? Carlisle… I honestly don't understand. Our laws forbid it… and you are most meticulous at staying out of Aro's radar…so…"
"That is what I am getting to Jasper" I sighed. "I was counselling Leah on her career choice and that has subsequently ended…"
"Okay" he whispered frowning a little as he processed what I told him.
"Edward…" I said-pronouncing the name experimentally before sighing and leaving the name hanging in the air.
"I did not expect you to condone this" he said softly. "I expected you to try and understand and then reason with him that this is selfish. But this… you want us to accept it… that he wants a human pet…"
"Alice said it was not the case" I sighed wearily, frustrated with Jasper's insistent refusal to let it be-frustrated with the sense he made when I wanted to run back to my safe haven of unawareness.
"Well… she is enjoying having the human as a pet too" he sighed squeezing his lips together.
"So you were looking to me to tell Edward not to do this thing, so you would not have to confront Alice of your own grievance with the matter?"
"Something like that" he smiled sheepishly. "You have to understand… I am the one affected by this the most…"
"Let me put this in plain sights for you Jasper" I said softly, rising to face him and smiling" Your wife thinks of this girl fondly. Edward-in his arrogant way, I suppose-thinks of this girl fondly too. Vampires are not to make contact with humans on this particular level, it is not truly a law but it is a precaution… you know the only law is not to make a spectacle of our nature…"
"Well…"
"Let me finish, son" I sighed. "The thing that scared me most, the one reason you say I am different at this moment… is that Alice saw your brother leaving me-leaving us-for Aro. She saw Edward unhappy and that is not a prediction on its own, he has been unhappy for a while… he is my son, Jasper and you have to understand that I would have him happy"
"I would have him happy but not in Aro's house" I whispered. "You need to understand that as a father I find happiness in the happiness of my children. I have been… derailed of late, subconsciously seeking my own happiness. This is unnatural… to my character"
"This has what in context to the Swan girl…" he grumbled. "Might I remind you, her blood calls to him… might I remind you she is a risk"
"A necessary one" I sighed looking him in the eye. "Jasper… you have Alice. Emmett has Rosalie… Edward has…"
"Edward has you" he said matter-of-factly and I could not hide the grimace forming on my face in time.
"You all have me" I clarified, looking away from him. "He is seeking an objective form of companionship-even if it is for this brief moment, let us allow him that. You and I know he is more than capable of handling this… please, do not let his behaviour turn this into a bitter conflict between the two of you…"
"You do spoil him" he whispered, grinning derisively. "You spoil him so much, to the point of compensation… Do you feel guilty he has no mate? Is your intention to have this Bella be his mate?"
"My intention is to keep everyone happy-so I too can be happy-and uphold the treaty of the Quileute which explicably states that no mortal is to be bitten on these here lands…"
"Hmm" he murmured watching me from his height "On the subject of mate… the women, well really by women I mean my wife Alice…"
I smiled at him knowing were this was going.
"She is concerned that if Edward is becoming wrestles about this... bachelorhood thing" he said uncomfortably and I knew Alice had sent him to enquire "Then surely you are… also…"
"I would have expected her to simply look into my future" I laughed.
"She did" he said softly. "She can't see anything further than a few days… it worries her, like there is a constant road block appearing in random spots of your future… Edward's too, in fact all of us. She has been sulking about it…"
This should not please me so. It sent the little worry I had had that she would see something forbidden, floating up into the air and disintegrating.
"You should be worried?" he asked.
"I don't think it is anything drastic" I said calmly. "She does tend to spread her vision thin…"
"Yes" he laughed, walking back to the house with me. "She likes knowing everything, this would be good for her I suppose, give me time to run around and get her an anniversary gift with little worry"
Xx~xx~xX
"Hello Mary" I said softly and she immediately dropped the files in her hand on the desk, rushing over to me in her wobbling gait with a furiously determined expression on her face.
"Dr Cullen…" she gasped.
"Uh… Mary"
"I saw Leah leave yesterday… from seeing you…"
Oh no, oh no…
"She was upset, said something about you leaving us soon…" Mary said softly, her hand going on my arm and squeezing slightly. "She was really upset… you had become the big brother she had never had…"
Then I had to be the worst big brother to ever be had….
"I thought it couldn't be true…" Mary sighed, folding her arms over her chest. "This here, at Forks General… is your second family… you wouldn't up and leave so abruptly?"
"I…" I began trying not to recall the chaos I had carried when I told Leah those words, told her I had to leave… "I thought… I would be leaving soon, but really you are right. My second family and the kids are so settled here…"
"Exactly!" Mary exclaimed. "I knew she was just overcome by her little crush on you, you know after the whole engagement thing, poor girl mistook your compassion for more… they always do though, I bet!"
If I could blanche I would.
"I recommended she redirect her affections to Edward" Mary laughed. "Makes more sense… you are a grown man with teenage children-adopted or relatives or whatever-you have adult responsibilities and she really shouldn't be so determined with her crush… inappropriate. And you know something else…"
"No" I said dryly.
"I heard from Chief Swan, who told Charlotte who told… well it got to me…" she murmured, doing her side glance look of checking for mysterious spies "That the Quileute have really gone all out on this 'Anti-Forks General' thing. They have gone as far as promoting their kids stay within the Reservation…"
Oh, yes… they knew of our existence, or at least their elders knew… did Leah, she couldn't know... she didn't allow her tradition to infiltrate her worldly views. It didn't matter; I was not to see her… she would not seek me out after what happened in the office…
"Hmm" Mary finished. "I guess the workshop has come to an end?"
"I guess so" I said coolly walking of to my office in a daze.
"Money wasted and all we learnt is that the Natives wont ever stop hating us Pale Faces" she grumbles-a sound she thought too low for my walking-away form to hear.
Xx~xx~xX
"I thought I would surprise you" Edward murmured, smiling a little.
"Hmm, and you did" I nodded at him, checking the clipboard and reading Tyler's information. It felt like the whole of Forks High was in the lobby and I was not amused by his appearance through the crowd. I was not amused nor was Rosalie and Jasper…
"I couldn't exactly let her die" he said softly, following me as I checked the other injured teenagers.
"No, you couldn't" I said "And for that… I am proud"
"She won't tell" he whispered desperately. "I trust her…"
"When were you going to tell me you can't hear her thoughts?" I asked him and he froze-the question came out with little delay surprising him.
"When… we had… recovered our friendship" he whispered nervously.
"Well…" I murmured, handing the pile of clipboards to Charlotte and still speaking in wisps too low for human ears "You are going to be in the firing line with Rosalie due to your impulsiveness… I had already managed to explain to Jasper about your little… Bella, and he somewhat understands your need for her"
"Thank you" he murmured as I walked away from him. "Shall I come and see you after this is done?"
Do what you must Edward, when have you ever waited for my permission, answer or response?
"Right" he murmured metres from me, watching Bella blush at the attention she was receiving. "You are upset with me"
Xx~xx~xX
Damage control.
That was what I had done with shaky haste and mild strength. I didn't have Leah to talk to but I had regained a semblance of my family. I had my family but I knew I was not the same man since those hot kisses had landed on my mouth and plucked something out of me.
I was upset, I was derailed, I was cold and hot and I had to keep this up because in the end, the one thing that had saved me from becoming a red eyed vampire-besides my acknowledgment of God and hell-was my family. It was them who made me strive to keep our path clean and pure.
I had no right to shake that. I had to keep us intact-it was what I wanted. Edward would never know that the future saw him running to Aro, and leaving me for a while-a while was a long time for a vampire… and Aro would be more than intrigued to learn of the new additions to his mental library, to learn of my not so pure form after decades of denying any need for…
I heard his ghost footsteps approach the door and dismissed my internal turmoil to something softer and less burdening. He entered, smiling uncomfortably and closed the door silently.
"Carlisle?" he whispered nervously, turning the light on. "You need to start switching your light on…"
"When I am in darkness I feel hidden from your telepathy" I lied and he laughed even though my face remained serious and cold.
"I… wanted to know how upset you were" he asked, walking over to my desk. "I don't want you upset"
"Funny you should say that" I murmured surveying his fake smile "It was what you had been striving towards for so long and now that you have it you want to pretend you are not pleased?"
"So you are jealous?" he asked finally, his eyes twinkling and smiling truly. "Is this… are you upset that Bella makes me happy?"
I am glad he has found someone who seems to have enough patience for his… over confidence.
"Just admit it" he frowned.
"You know I am not jealous" I whispered closing my eyes for a moment. "I am happy you are happy"
"Why" he scowled.
"You smile, you laugh… its lovely" I whispered. "You stop looking at me so intently"
"I will always look at you intently" he muttered leaning back into the chair. "It is just… after pining for so long it is nice having someone look at me with concentrated adoration"
"Edward, you promised she was no pet"
"And she is not" he stated blandly, stretching forward over the desk. "She is my Leah…"
For some unknown reason, I had thought he would never mention her name to me again. Her face, torn and confused fleeted through my mind but decades of living with Edward allowed my mind to regain control of other unnecessary subjects for a quick cover.
"You broke her lose?" he asked and I frowned in fake nonchalance.
"You deliberately broke her heart?" he prodded.
"She was not in love with me…" I whispered. "She was confused about her fiancé and home situation"
"Did she make a move on you?" he asked quietly, curiously, prodding my control on my mind-willing me to release the carefully constructed barrier.
"I know what happened" he said smiling, rising out of the seat and walking around my office. "She made a move on you-like I had done-and you rebuffed her, like you did with me"
His condescension irked me, his smirking prickled my anger and I lost.
The detailed memory of my tumble with Leah from the front of his painting back to the table came unbidden and with full force, swirling between the recollection of her alluring eyes and hallowed womanly sent to her hot touch and soft caresses and more prominently my flimsy control that allowed me to taste her velvety golden cherry lips in billowing kisses…
He growled, the sound shaking the picture window slightly and resounding thought the office in rumbling waves. He stood still, rigid and fists balled and hard at his side. I wanted to care, I wanted to feel remorse but instead I smiled.
This was what he had introduced to me with his illicit kiss and this was what Leah had shaped with her heady scent.
Daringness.
"It was cheap" he growled, his back to me-facing the picture window that showed the corridor.
"Oh, but it wasn't…" I murmured. "I suppose I needed to know, subconsciously… before I ended it"
"You wish to upset me"
"I thought you would be happy Edward?" I whispered "I ended it for you… to some level"
"You call that an ending…!"
"I can never seem to make you happy, can I?" I muttered, touching the gauged wood of my table-were I had gripped to tightly when she rubbed on my leg… there was no need for barriers now. The memories trickling through…
He snapped his head back, eyes black and flat and his face a livid beautiful destructive angel. I pretended not to care, he knew I was terrified of what was to pass between us but my physical nonchalance aggravated him further.
"There is nothing to be upset about Edward" I whispered, touching the other gauge on the table and pulverizing the indents. "You have Bella-a preoccupation-and I will return to my medicine"
"I have Bella?" he hissed and then laughed sardonically-an alluring sound that could capture hearts.
"Yes" I murmured.
"Bella…" he said thoughtfully "I suppose… but you know how I am with enigmas"
"So it is about her locked mind?"
"Her mind and her smell" he murmured absently.
It was out in the air, no more secrets and hidden thoughts. Surely now…
"Never" he hissed. "It will never be content"
"At least something similar?" I tried. "I forgive you and wont you forgive me?"
"You forgive me…" he laughed. "For what?"
"Edward…" I sighed. "This is unnecessary"
"You think my loving you is unnecessary? You think I want to walk around in your shadow waiting for you to feel this chill too?" he shouted and I zoomed over to the picture window and closed the blinds.
"Don't even try and run to your fucked up ignorance and selected revelations" he whispered behind me, too close.
"I know you have understood my ailment, Good Doctor" he whispered by my ear while I gripped the plastic rod to close the blinds tightly, staring at the bamboo wooden strips intently. "I see it in your mind"
"Enough of this" I hissed, manoeuvring away from him and back to my seat.
"I suppose your file cabinet is a result of 'rebuffing Leah'?" he asked dryly and I peered at the dented metal cabinet and sighed.
"What the hell do you want from me, boy" I exhaled, covering my face with my hands and hiding him from my sights. "Everything is near perfect again, I have compensated this to the point of destruction…"
"Do you know the true pity of this destruction?" he said-his voice cackling and breaking in odd hitches-the tell-tale signs of a vampire crying "You wanting her and not…"
"Edward… concentrate on Isabella…"
"Why don't… why can't you want me like that" he whispered pained and I felt him move towards me "Why didn't you throw her off you and send her flying through the picture window and into the corridor when she kissed you?"
"Because…" I grumbled not removing my hands "She wouldn't survive such violence"
"Oh, but you think I did because I am made of marble" he laughed "Who in God's good name made me of marble…?"
"You are spreading me thin Edward" I cried.
"If I touched like a human…?" he whispered and I felt his hand ghost over my own softly, sending electricity in odd places from the point it made contact "Would you be less terrified of this?"
"Stop" I hissed shoving him away violently and growling low, surprising us both with my quick turn to animalistic vampire. He crashed into the wall, cracking the paint and plaster.
"No" he breathed, brushing little grey fragments of his sweater-ever meticulous with his appearance-even when we were nearing doom.
"Do you know what it is…" I hissed, pushing out of the chair violently and stalking towards him. "You make it difficult… for everyone… when you do not have your way and I have to run around covering for you because it is somehow my fault you are so…"
"The only way I want to have is with you" he hissed back lips pulled over his teeth in a grin-like-snarl "And that is the way you won't permit so do not spew this…"
"Go and exhaust yourself in Isabella so you can let our eternity be peaceful!" I shouted shoving him back and snarling.
"Do you want me gone?" he asked irking me further with his odd turn in mood-calm, anger and mocking.
The memory of Alice murmuring the words, the realisation that he would leave…
"I will leave…" he whispered. "Because you cause me pain, Carlisle…"
"I cannot do what you want me to do!" I cried. "I don't…"
"But when Leah wanted it from you it was acceptable?" he asked cocking his head.
"And now I can never talk to her" I said softly. "You would risk this thing, this emotion… and have us disintegrate…?"
"Kiss me" he whispered, taking a step forward, his hand reaching for my own. "In this office… it will end here… and I will be free, it will be like it never happened, Carlisle… all these thoughts I have on you, on me… this pain… I just…"
"Edward..."
"You see, you destroyed the office…" he said a nervously, voice coming out huskier, his hand waving in too much energy over the things I had knocked over in inhuman strength-when I had lost control with Leah "You destroyed it with her and… we can destroy it and you will ask for a new one…"
"You are being absurd…"
"You will ask for a new office and every sin will be left in here…" he murmured his hand taking my own easily and tugging so I turned towards him.
"No" I whispered staring at his desperate eyes, watching fascinated as they darted from my eyes to my mouth in a dark hunger. He stood closer and inhaled, groaning slightly.
"Carlisle" he breathed squeezing my hand and carrying it easily to his chest-were his heart should be, his tongue moistening his lips and razor teeth biting lightly over the inside of the flesh.
"No one will ever know, Carlisle" he murmured closing the pathetic distance. "You won't have to keep deluding yourself that I don't have an effect on you, you will be free too"
He had been beautiful in his humanity, a boy worthy of staring maidens-caught between having too much affection thrown his way and wanting to chase after that which didn't care for his beauty. Only a blind man could over look his face, his hair, his smile, his lips, his scent… I had had to fight Aro so he would remain with me… so sure I was his father, so sure I was immune to such beauty
Was I not immune…?
"Carlisle…" he moaned, his eyes locked with my own, relentless and loving.
"Edward?"
AUTHORS NOTE:
Thank you all for the reviews, and love and detailed likes and dislikes…! (I do like detail)
A little OOCness in the vampire biology here-well, it may actually be something S. Meyer has confirmed but I will announce it anyway: Vampires emotions are extremely heightened, hormones included… now, Carlisle has been going around suppressing these feelings for hundreds of years… the closet is full, Old Chap… and about to burst open.
Edward-is stuck a teenager with teenage angst. A never ending immortal phase, ouch. Now, hormonal horny teenager plus century old mind doesn't really make for a good combination surprisingly
I think this story is more about the complexities and different forms of love and lust and how they affect each other when you have forever to get over it, or get into it. The plot is alternate universe of twilight-so Twilight will be bent and warped but remain the skeleton of the plot.
Jacob… we shall see with time.
Isabella-Bella. Uhm… I say her name with slight bitterness after the Breaking Dawn fiesta, but I will try not to let this be a 'Bella gets Slapped and Dumped' story and remain objective through out.
I did the fade in black… because I had not changed the rating as yet. Cough, cough… and my, cough… 'getting-to-know-your-elbow'/lemony writing skills are not yet honed, so here is to hoping all the hot and bothered scenes are felt whilst reading and not searched for after reading.
Thank you for the alerts, favourites and reviews once more.
Your awesomeness is LEGENDARY
TJ xx oo
