XI : Beast

Remus

Nothing much happened after Sirius (admittedly not unenjoyable) assault on me in the shower, except that right through breakfast and the first few lessons of the day James kept looking at me and Sirius in a sort of knowing way, until Sirius yelled at him and hit him with a bat-bogey hex, sending him off to the hospital wing for an hour. We sort of pretended it hadn't happened and got on with our lives.

But I wake up this morning, and realise it's full moon tonight, and my heart sinks. I get up somewhat reluctantly and, as I do every morning, pull on my robes and yank aside the curtains around my friends' beds. Sirius' bed is nearest, so I always wake him up first, then Peter, then James.

I draw back the curtains and the light floods onto Sirius. He rolls over and looks at me drowsily. I take one look at his bleary eyes, his mussed up hair, his half-open mouth and I run for my life.

---

I'm sitting in the bathroom hyperventilating rapidly and trying not to panic. I looked at Sirius this morning, and the wolf wanted to…well, let's just say wolves don't much bother with romance. The wolf just wants Sirius. Now now noooooow!!!!!! And since it's nearly full moon, I'm finding it quite hard to tell the wolf what to do. Or what not to do, as the case may be. And every lesson except Ancient Runes and Divination today I'm sharing with the dog.

Knock knock.

Go away.

"Moony, are you OK?"

Thank god, it's just James.

"I'm fine. It's just…full moon."

"Oh, your furry little problem?"

"No, I just happen to have a tendency to get terrible constipation once a month."

"Did you…make a JOKE, Remus? Are you sure you're ok? I think Sirius is finally…ahem…rubbing off on you."

Oh god, he knows. I can tell by the way he says it. He knows about me and Sirius. That would explain all those smug smirks yesterday. He probably finds it hilarious.

Damn.

"Remus?"

He sounds quite concerned.

"Do you want to go to the hospital wing again?"

Do I? I don't know. It'd keep me out of Sirius' way, anyway, and stop me doing something I regret.

"Yeah."

---

I'm lying under the sheets of a bed in the hospital wing. Clearly I couldn't explain to Madam Pomfrey why I'm here, but I muttered "Full moon" and she seems to have bought it.

"Moony? Are you ok?"

Sirius.

Maybe if I pretend I'm asleep he'll go away. But what if he kisses me like he did after the Bellatrix thing? But if I look at him the wolf will go crazy and I will probably get expelled for inappropriate behaviour. ARGH!!!!

I settle for a "Mmhmm."

"Remus"

I shift the sheets and catch a glimpse of Sirius' head, haloed with sunlight.

No! Don't look! Don't listen to his oh-so-soft voice! NO! Think about something else! THINK UNSEXY THOUGHTS!!!! Snape in a bikini! That should put me off sex for life…SNAPE IN A BIKINI! I CAN'T HEAR YOU, SIRIUS!!!! SNAPE IN A BIKINIIIIIII!!!!!

"Are you ok?"

GO AWAY, Sirius!

"Uh-huh."

"The day before full moon's not normally this bad. What's up?"

NOTHING! I'M FINE! GO AWAAAAAY!!!!!

"Are you sure you're ok?"

Why did I fall in love with my best friend??? What was I THINKING??? The temptation's too strong. I look up, pulling the tangled bedding off my head. He's so beautiful, so sexy. I love him. The wolf hurls me forward.

"Remus? What's wro…ohhhh…"

I lunge forwards and kiss him, trying to stave off my want, my need to do so much more than just kiss. But when I pull away, he's still sitting there, sex on legs. I can't help it. I have to have Sirius. I push him onto the bed, straddling his hips. Feverishly I start to unbutton his shirt, kissing him all the time, fast and fierce and furious and so so good.

And then he grabs my hand and pulls it off his shirt. I can see the lust in his eyes; I know he wants this, so why won't he let me? The wolf howls in fury.

"Remus, stop. This isn't you. Stop it."

The wolf slinks away, thwarted. I should be relieved. I didn't do something I'd have regretted, so that's a good thing, isn't it?

And the release and the love and the rejection and the pain and the fact that it felt oh so good even when I knew it was wrong…I can't cope. I burst into tears, trying to hide it. Boys don't cry, they should be strong, I'm not crying but oh, I am. Sirius folds me in his arms and I hug him back, breathing in his musky scent.

"I love you, Sirius."

It's full moon tonight, but not yet. Not yet. For now I can stay here, wrapped in Sirius' arms, and hold the wolf at bay. Until the sun goes down, I can just be Remus.

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Yes, I took forever to update.

Yes, I am a lazy git.

Yes, feel free to throw things at me.

Yes, if you're nice there will be more smut in the next few chapters.

Tomorrow (ish) on Moon And Stars…Full Moon!

And by the way, the anime references in chapter 9 (not that anyone tried to guess) were:

IX : Snow Kiss …is the closing theme of D.Gray-Man

"Cowards! Lions never surrender! Where's your Griffindor spirit?" Lions Never Surrender is a song sung by Kon from Bleach.

Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling

All spelling mistakes belong to me