Yay, plot. Sort of.

10/16/2012: Fixed the continuity error at the end of the chapter.

Dagnammit

Sasuke sat slumped at his desk, contemplating the events that had recently transpired. By "recently transpired," the boy really meant his sudden realization during his Genin Exam (an inconvenient time, to say the least) that he liked Haruno Sakura. The pink-haired girl he'd always considered a nuisance and a fan-girl.

Now that he thought about it, though, she was quite smart and her hair made her exotic and the fact that she was now paying attention to someone that was not him was also probably a driving factor in his realization.

It still was not so good that he had come to this conclusion while testing with Iruka-sensei, but the man was understanding enough…

Flashback to Sasuke's Exam of Emo—tion.

"Oops, sorry, Sensei. I was… collecting my thoughts," he bluffed.

Iruka nodded. "When you're ready," he said.

"Right," Sasuke nodded. Concentrate, idiot! You're acting like Naruto, getting all flustered over… a girl. Ewwwwww.

Iruka wondered what was going through his student's head as he made such an odd expression. Kids…

Sasuke placed his hands together in the appropriate seal, gathering his chakra. He felt it collect at his core, then stutter to nothing. "It's just," he began, ignoring Iruka's sigh as he realized his student was not going to be doing anything until he said his piece, "Sakura is driving me crazy!"

Iruka smiled gently. "Girls tend to do that," he said.

Sasuke nodded. "I don't know what to do."

Thinking this was related to the stalking, Iruka responded, "Well, I wouldn't draw attention to yourself. It's best to just keep doing what you're doing, and she'll grow out of it," he told the boy. "Now, can you perform the jutsu?"

Sasuke nodded distractedly, trying to understand the advice his teacher gave him.

End flashback.

He managed to perform the bunshin okay, but the problem now was why Iruka had told him to ignore Sakura. If he thought he liked her… shouldn't he… pursue her? Or even do the opposite of what Iruka-sensei had said? Confused, he placed his head back down on the desk and forced the thoughts from his mind. He'd been fine ten minutes ago and he'd just have to go back to that. He had to kill Itachi before he worried about girls, anyway.

Naruto stood before Iruka-sensei, smiling as confidently as he could, even though he wasn't too sure how well this exam would go. Bunshin was, after all, his worst jutsu. Also, Sasuke-jerk was being a little weird when he came back to the classroom and didn't even tell the next student to go to the room. He'd just walked in and flopped down at his desk, all mopey, and started staring at Naruto's Sakura-chan!

Well, she wasn't his particularly, but he'd liked her for practically his whole life and felt very protective towards her (even though he now had Hinata-chan, too). Anyway, Sasuke's stare at Sakura wasn't the same as it used to be and Naruto was concerned. His classmate was giving off funky vibes and seemed to be depressed about something. Or distracted.

Either way, Naruto had a test whose butt needed some serious kicking, so he pushed thoughts of the Jerk aside and smiled at his Academy teacher.

Iruka-sensei smiled back. "Ready, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto nodded in response.

"All right, please perform a bunshin jutsu for me."

Naruto took a deep breath and closed his eyes, going slowly through the seals once for practice, and then again for the real jutsu. He'd practiced this one constantly and knew the theory and the hand movements inside and out. He just could never get this one to work for him.

He heard the pop noise and squinted through one eye. Iruka shook his head slightly, and Naruto deflated.

Dagnammit, he thought. Dagnammit, dagnammit, dagnammit. "Dagnammit!" he cried.

Iruka stood from his seat and came around to the front of the desk. "Naruto," he said, looking seriously at his student. "Try one more time. Other students have had second chances today, too. It seems the class is not at its best right now," he added, more to himself than his pupil.

Naruto shook his head, wiping his nose on his sleeve when he hoped his teacher wasn't looking. "No, that's not fair to everyone else if I get a second try. And plus, it won't change anything. I can't do this stupid jutsu!"

Iruka looked hopelessly at his student, his brain floundering for a solution. He really could think of nothing that would work. "Just try again," he said. He had low hopes it would work, but… he couldn't bear the thought of having to fail Naruto.

Shoulders still slumped, Naruto performed the jutsu the second time.

There was silence in the room.

"I'm sorry, Naruto-kun," Iruka said sadly. "I have to fail you."

Naruto nodded slowly, determined to leave the room before he reacted anymore than that. "Thanks for being such a good sensei," he told the man. "Sorry I was such a pain in the butt."

Leaving the room, he missed Iruka's determined expression.

Gai returned to the training field to find Tenten throwing her weapons at a target. He joyfully wiped his eyes as her second kunai pushed the first further into the heart of the target tree, before he realized Lee was nowhere to be seen.

"Tenten-chan," he began, "where is Lee-kun?"

"Oh, hi, Gai-sensei," she said, retrieving a giant spiked object from a scroll. "He said something about running the whole of Fire Country tonight as a punishment for slightly irritating me. He's been gone about five minutes, so I figure he's nearly done." Her face wrinkled in concern as she launched the object towards a new target, successfully knocking the whole thing over in one hit.

Gai took a small step backwards as she continued.

"He won't be marked as a missing-nin for leaving the village, will he?" she asked.

Gai's brows rose in shock at the thought. "Tenten," he said, leaning conspiratorially towards her. "We must prepare to leave the village. If that happens, our team will be destroyed unless we follow him."

Tenten nodded seriously.

"We must go get Neji ready, too," Gai-sensei said, realizing the only way to save his precious student from the horrors of being a missing-nin is by becoming a missing-nin himself.

Tenten shrugged in agreement. Makes sense to me, she thought agreeably.

The two took off, back to Neji's house.

Anko and Nameless Ninja One searched three towns before they came across any clues that Jiraiya had been there.

Nodding towards the broken fence of the women's side of the onsen, the two continued at a slower pace through the town, looking for bars or clubs that the shinobi may have stopped at.

They found one within a minute that looked promising. Exchanging a Ninja Nod (basically, any nod that conveys a mutual understanding of the circumstances and the next five stages of the plan), the two marched inside, doors swinging shut behind them.

"Jiraiya-sama, the Toad Sage of the Three Sannin! Reveal yourself!" Anko called dramatically.

Nameless One would later swear to anyone who would listen that he heard crickets chirp in the bar in the silence.

"Ain't no one here by that name, sweetie! But you can come reveal yourself, if you want," a man said with a leer.

Anko, surprisingly, barely spared him a glance, and instead pushed her way further inside, storming to the barman and grabbing his shirt. "You seen a white-haired old man with a scroll on his back nearby?" she asked.

He quickly shook his head.

"Hmm," she said, unrelenting of her hold. She nodded sideways to her subordinate. "Look around," she commanded.

He saluted her formally, and quickly checked the place out. "He's nowhere around here," he told her five minutes later.

She released the barman. "All right, thanks! Have a great day," she chirped, exiting to find a new club to terrorize—investigate.

In the next town over, Yamato was having no better luck. Though he was a bit more polite about his search, neither Tsunade nor Jiraiya had been seen or heard of by the people they questioned.

"I wonder if they are even in Fire Country," Akio mused.

Yamato stopped walking at the thought. "You have a point… Jiraiya-sama may be closer to Amegakure…" he trailed off, keeping his thoughts to himself as he didn't want to risk revealing village secrets. With a confident nod, he started moving again, taking quickly to the roofs to travel faster. "We should leave Fire Country," he said.

Baki and Kankuro grabbed an arm each, dragging Temari away from the path and towards the hotel they had conveniently paused in front of.

"No! Noooo!" she screamed dramatically, wriggling in their grasps to get away.

"Temari, you are being difficult," Baki said in an exasperated tone.

"We have to get there tonight! Does this place have bathrooms?" she asked randomly once they were inside, her whole demeanor changing.

The innkeeper nodded slowly. "Yes, miss; there are lavatories in each room. How long will you be staying?" she asked, sensing a sale.

Temari glared at the innkeeper. "Not at all. I just need the bathroom." She twisted around one last time, breaking free of her captors, then stomped off towards the back of the place. Her instincts told her the bathrooms were back there for sure.

The innkeeper glared at Baki, who could only shrug in response. He glanced towards Kankuro, hoping for some sympathy, but panicked when he realized his two other pupils were missing. "Um… excuse me," he said, grinning sheepishly as he spun in a circle and bolted out the door, straining his chakra for any sense of his students.

Unfortunately, he ran the wrong way, as his students had chosen to follow their elder sister and explore the hotel.

Exiting the bathroom, Temari was surprised to see Gaara and Kankuro studying the fire escape route. "Ready to keep going?" she asked.

Kankuro turned around immediately, his face openly revealing his complete and utter distaste for the idea. "No," he said sullenly.

She shrugged. "It's like three in the afternoon. It'd be pathetic to stop this early." She held up a consenting hand, ensuring he shut up before he started. "But, I'm willing to stop for lunch," she said.

Gaara blinked. "We just had tea and biscotti."

Temari smiled at him and patted his head in a 'You're so cute and naïve' manner. "Yes, but that was just a snack. For the morning! We need real food now."

He blinked at her.

"By the way, where is Baki-sensei?" she asked, looking around.

Kankuro glanced to the left and right slowly, before succumbing to panic. "We're going to die!" he shrieked.

"We're not going to die, doofus. We just need to find our teacher," Temari answered calmly. "Now, do you think that lady swindled him into a room?"

They turned down the hall, walking further into the hotel's lair.

Kakashi smiled as he left the hospital, proud of himself. He'd performed his good deed of the day, and now, really didn't need to bother accomplishing anything else. If he could just find his stinking book, everything would be perfect.

Though he did have the sneaking suspicion that rather than doing Kurenai and Asuma a favor by dropping them off there, they had succeeded more in getting away from him.

Oh well.

He was finally going to check the last place where his beloved book could be, and he could feel the anticipation in his bones, his instinct telling him the book was safe and he would hold it in his arms once more. The thought of cradling the book like a lover comforted him more than Anko would be okay with, but Kakashi really couldn't be bothered about that.

He skipped up the steps and unlocked the door, latching it shut behind him with as much care as he could devote away from his goal. Restraining himself from merely bolting into the other room, Kakashi took measured steps towards the Place of Resting and squeezed his eyes momentarily shut to offer a prayer to his ancestors for good luck.

One eye popped open as he pushed the door open.

"Ah!" he cried in relief, sinking onto his knees as he took in the most precious sight before him.

His book lay just where he had left it the night before, lovingly stashed on top of a pile of other junk on his bedside table, right next to his pillow so it would always be within easy reach.

"Heh," he chuckled. "I guess with all the excitement and crazy of Anko's wakeup call, I didn't even have a chance to grab it," he laughed to himself as he kicked his shoes off at the wall behind him and dive-bombed onto his bed, burrowing himself into the covers. Grabbing the cherished Icha Icha from the desk, he cuddled it closely to him like a teddy bear, rocking it back and forth in the cradle his arms automatically formed. "Hush little booky, don't you cry, Kakashi's going to read you… now…"

The room was silent for an awkward moment.

"Shut up, Mr. Ukki," he told his plant. "You know I missed you, too."

The girls were just finishing an argument over what game to play next, as Rock-Paper-Scissors can become boring after playing it 2,233 times in a row, when Naruto walked back into the room, a cloud of despair hanging thick over his head.

"Remember, don't say anything to make him feel bad about failing. We still need him to fight Mizuki-sensei!" Hinata reminded the group.

The others nodded, Shin deciding he'd make Sakura explain what the heck was going on when they were finally free of this Academy thing.

Sakura smiled brightly at the blonde as he walked towards their desks. "Naruto-kun!" she chirped. "You're back just in time. We decided to play six-way tick-tack-toe!"

Naruto forced a matching smile on his face as he sat down. He couldn't let them think he was depressed; they were being so nice to him! "That sounds interesting. How do we play?"

"Teams?" Sakura said after a few moments silence in which no one put forth a suggestion.

"Nah, let's just all make our marks and see what happens. We'll need a twelve-by-twelve grid and we'll still go for three in a row," Ino decided.

"Okay," Hinata agreed, already drawing perfectly straight lines down a page.

They were just finishing up a rather hectic game of drawing crazy symbols all over the page when Iruka-sensei and the last Academy student of their class walked back in.

"Okay, class, please settle down. We are done testing today. Everyone, please remember to turn in your Ninja Registration Forms tomorrow! Team placements will be the day after that. You will be introduced to your jounin-sensei then. Thank you all for your hard work this year and on your exam today; I'll see you all soon."

Iruka waited patiently for the students to file out of the room, hands clasped before him as he politely returned his students' goodbyes. Leave faster, he thought as he smiled at Ino and Sakura. I need a drink.