For Your Eyes Only

Chapter Eleven - When A Problem Was Shared

It was clear to see that Edward was bitter for a few days after Dr Cullen's visit. His jaw seemed to be tight a lot of the time, almost as though his anger seemed to collect there. He was also silent a lot, seeming to be completely immersed in his thoughts; I wanted to talk to him about what had happened, to try and make it better, but I just didn't know what to say.

So, I left him alone, gave him some space, and carried on with my own business.

In school, I found out from Rose that Emmett was going to be excluded for a total of a month and that Jasper Whitlock was now home with a few injuries and wouldn't be returning to school for a long time.

Also, the visit to see Charlie went surprisingly well; he no longer looked pale and pasty, but fresh and strangely optimistic, as though he had really turned a corner. He beamed while telling me about what he'd achieved over the past week and went on to tell me that he'd probably be out of rehab soon. I smiled along enthusiastically with him, but couldn't get Edward out of my mind. The thought of him kept niggling away constantly, and I found it hard to truly be happy for Charlie.

Of course, when he asked me about my week, I just shrugged it off, saying that nothing much had happened.

When I got back home, Edward politely inquired about the visit and I replayed everything back to him, but after that he stayed quiet again, and I didn't protest. He had issues to sort out and I couldn't stop him.

Two days later on Sunday morning, I was a little frustrated at the atmosphere, so I suggested that we did something fun together out of pure desperation. In response, he just looked at me as though I'd grown another head.

"Edward," I sighed. "I'm sorry, but I don't really know what to do or say... I-"

"It's alright, Bella, really," he interrupted, edging slowly closer towards me. His tone was a little resigned. "I've just accepted it now. I've thought it through and... it's okay. They probably had their reasons for everything."

"Are you sure?" I asked carefully, trying to work out if his nonchalant attitude was real or not.

He nodded once, staring at my feet. I followed his gaze and wondered just what was so interesting about my slippers; they were tattered and slightly dirty, and I immediately felt paranoid about wearing them.

"You remind me a little of my mother."

My eyes widened at his sudden statement and I nearly sprayed my orange juice onto his face. Well, through his face... I cringed while thinking of that.

Despite this, I didn't really know what to think of what he'd said. "I thought you didn't really get along with your mother," I replied slowly.

"No, no, it's not that. It's the little things," he explained, staring ahead at the wall, probably deep in thought. "She'd always wear slippers like yours, even during the summer."

"But it is quite cold here in Forks," I pointed out, and he chuckled.

"She used to love the chilly weather too, for some reason," he pondered. "She hated it when it was sunny... mainly because she enjoyed being all cosy inside, drinking tea and watching TV." He smiled, a beautiful look spreading across his face.

"You seem quite fond of her," I observed, meeting his eyes.

"I am... still." He paused. "I miss her. We just... argued a lot over stupid things and Dad, well, before he died, he seemed to make everything worse. It was like he wanted to make her angry."

This was deeply personal stuff and I realised just how drastic a turn our conversation had taken. It made me anxious, but I also wanted to hear more; all I ever wanted to do was help Edward.

I didn't know what this meant; I was a little scared to think about it too deeply.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I murmured eventually.

Was he expecting me to share something about myself in return? There was an urge deep down in my stomach to tell him more about me; I wanted him to know me better.

Before I could think any further, I was speaking and words flowed freely out of my mouth.

"I suppose I can kind of understand what you went through," I began. "Charlie and I argued a lot when he used to come home drunk. I always came back from school and was greeted by a lonely house, and... and he always stumbled in late in the evening, stinking of alcohol." I paused to shudder.

"Do you know why he started drinking?" Edward asked, genuine concern apparent on his face. His eyes locked with mine and I couldn't look away.

"I think... it was probably because of my... my Mom."

His face softened even further and I noticed his hand jerk towards mine. Once again, realisation suddenly flooded through him and my heart ached. That moment of thinking we could touch must have been wonderful, but then remembering that he couldn't... well, that must be both heartbreaking and frustrating.

I vaguely wondered if we'd ever be able to do something as simple as holding hands. So many people took that for granted.

We remained quiet for a few moments and I once again found myself thinking about Edward and our relationship. It had been on my mind a lot recently and I'd tried to not confront the issue, but he'd even been haunting my dreams over the past few days.

I was just confused a lot of the time.

"Bella?"

Blinking wildly, I looked up to see Edward staring at me expectantly. Oops, he'd probably asked me something... "Sorry, sorry, what did you say?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to talk about something a bit more cheerful?" he repeated with a small smile. I loved the way his lips turned crooked.

"Yeah," I laughed. "That'd be good. This has been quite dreary!"

"Dreary like Sunday morning," he sang suddenly, catching me by surprise.

"Wow, Edward," I breathed. "That was unexpected! Your voice is great!"

He looked embarrassed. "I was just joking around..."

"Well, I was impressed."

"You were impressed by a rainbow the other day," he pointed out.

"Yeah, well," I shrugged, feeling my face turn hot. "It was pretty."

He snickered.

"But seriously," I persisted. "Edward, that voice was great. Did you ever have singing lessons?"

He snorted this time. "No, just the piano lessons."

I pondered this. "Hmm. I really wish I was more... musically talented. The only thing I can do is listen to my iPod and hum along badly. It used to annoy Charlie."

He seemed to think about this for a moment. "Why don't you have lessons or something?"

"I... um... well, I don't have that much money to spare at the moment," I admitted.

He paused. "How about you try the piano in your school?"

"I don't really want to voluntarily spend more time in school, to be honest."

"That's understandable," he said, smiling wryly. "But surely you must be able to access a piano somewhere."

"You seem really determined about this."

"It's just so wonderful playing the piano, Bella," he smiled, his eyes glazing over again. "I want you to experience how it feels when you can play something, even if it's a nursery rhyme or something simple like that. And you said yourself that you wanted to be more musical."

"I guess," was my reply.

"Besides, I miss the sound as well."

I looked at him sadly. "Maybe I could look into practising at school..."

His face lit up. "Really, Bella? That would be great!"

"And..." I continued, suddenly thinking of something. "Perhaps you could teach me?"

He frowned. "How is that even possible?"

"You could just... I dunno, tell me which notes to play. Explain all the stuff."

"The stuff," he laughed. "Very technical."

"Well, you know what I mean."

"It would be a good idea though... we'll definitely have to follow this through."

I smiled at him, glad that he actually looked happy for the first time in a while; it made him seem even more youthful. "I'll look forward to it. But, in the mean time, what can we do today? I haven't really got anything planned..."

"You were moaning about schoolwork the other day... don't you have any to do?"

I ignored his first comment, muttering, "I hope not. I want a day off anyway."

"You didn't do much yesterday."

"Are you just trying to be annoying?" I teased, earning another crooked smile. "But seriously, Edward, what can we do?"

He shrugged, being a terrific bundle of help. Then, all of a sudden, his eyes lit up. "This may sound stupid, but... well, it's an idea..."

I swallowed. "Go on."

"Well... my mother used to bake this wonderful cake that was from an old family recipe," he paused, looking a little hesitant. I nodded, encouraging him to go on and showing that I was still interested. "And maybe I could help you bake it?" he shrugged again. "Gee, that sounds quite lame."

"No, really, I love baking," I smiled. "I'll get my coat and we'll buy some of the ingredients now."

He looked genuinely pleased once again and we headed outside happily.


"Edward, seriously, if we carry on any longer there's going to be a flour storm of some kind," I moaned.

Sure, I loved baking, but that didn't necessarily mean that I was good at it. In fact, I was shockingly awful.

The kitchen was a complete mess after a few hours of hard labour; it was enough to give a cleanaholic a heart attack.

Random bits and pieces of cake mixture were all over the counter and butter was somehow smeared on the floor. My hair was covered in a light mist of flour and I'd dropped a few eggs over my slippers. As if this wasn't bad enough, the oven was currently making a strange noise and I couldn't seem to stop the contents from looking lumpy.

While all this was happening, Edward just looked on, smiling devilishly.

"I wish I could help you..." he sighed, clearly being sarcastic. I glared at him, blowing my hair out of my eyes.

"Edward, this is a disaster! I thought you said this recipe was easy to follow."

"It is," he laughed. "But you're just..."

"Useless?" I offered, stirring the mixture roughly in a last attempt. "Completely incompetent?" I slammed the bowl down. "Well, I don't care anymore. I'm pouring this stuff in here and just hoping for the best."

He looked on warily but nodded, clearly amused by everything.

"Oh, and you've been a great help," I added.

"I gave you advice here and there."

I just grunted in response.

"Glad to be of service, anyway," he smirked.


A few hours later and the smoke alarm was beeping frantically. Stupid thing. In my hands I held a completely charcoaled 'cake' and Edward couldn't seem to stop laughing in the corner of the room.

"Yes, thank you," I mumbled bitterly. "This has been a complete waste of my time."

"No, it wasn't," he smiled, only just managing to speak, "it was fun."

"Pfft, fun for you."

"There you go again," he chuckled. "The strange noises have made another return."

I couldn't help laughing at that and, after thinking about how much I'd actually enjoyed this afternoon, despite the cooking mistakes, I chucked the rest of the cake into the bin and followed Edward in the lounge to watch some television together, grabbing a muffin from the fridge along the way.

It was becoming a very domesticated lifestyle and I was loving it already.