Passages, Chapter Eleven
AN - I find it very interesting that the moment I move this story into a more interesting direction for me - such as exploring the Shizuru-Natsuki-Nao dynamic as it was presented in the show and then aged fifteen years in this fic; I get a lot of reviews telling me that 'I'd better' not let this go in a NatNao direction. Like I would do that. This story is such that everything is a means to an end and I urge you all, the readership, to just sit back and let what comes, come.
Also - is it strange that I feel compelled to write about Kruger after writing too much Kuga? I mean, they're the same age now, so it works quite well to write one or the other in this fic, but still. I miss Kruger. I found this video on youtube recently, it was like an ode to how much she failed at life. I loled a lot.
There are times when I don't know what people want from me. When I don't know how to act.
I hate those times.
Five years later.
The monster - orphan, Nao supposed that she could call it by what it was, even if she wanted to deny its existence - roared in pain as it found itself neatly broken into several large pieces by well-aimed ice bullets. Blood and gore rained down around her and she flung a hand up to cover her face, for the orphan's blood stung to the touch.
Nao could see Kuga standing off to one side, the swirling protons around her hands firing off bullet after bullet at the monster. She felt her heart swell with pride that those bullets were being fired with the sole intension of saving her life.
Where's your lover now, Fujino? The vindictive part of Nao's brain cackled, elated with the prospect of finally proving to Kuga once and for all that she was the better catch. Nao never understood where her attraction to Kuga came from; it was something that she'd tried to reason several times to no luck. It was just an illogical part of her brain, a remnant of a time when she might have actually acted upon what those impulses told her to do.
The calmer, more logical part of Nao's brain was screaming, however. This went against everything in Nao's world - this simple selfless act of Kuga's. She would not have it.
Kuga was running towards her now, shouting – slipping on the blood of the monster she'd killed, wanting to know if Nao was alright.
Nao brought her claws up to her face, examining them. She had to look at her element, for she could not face the fear of meeting Kuga's eyes and having everything come out. After that particular display of power, Nao was pretty sure that she could not trust herself to speak, let alone look at Kuga right now.
She'd calm down in time, but right now, she just needed Kuga to go.
What would she say if she knew?
"Just... Just go." She couldn't bring herself to meet Kuga's eyes. She was raw and terrified, but she could not bring herself to look at Kuga - the betrayal in her eyes would be final then.
She'd armed herself with the notion that she was alone in the world. Kuga's bond with her was just something that could be argued or reasoned away.
Kuga said nothing, as if the sensation of betrayal was thick with her as well.
"Damn it all," Nao cursed, kicking the lump of dead orphan closest to her.
She would not step between the lovers.
It was not her place in this game.
Natsuki was running on pure adrenaline. She had to get out of there. The creature, whatever it was, was dead and her presence was not helping either herself or Nao adjust to the harsh reality of what had just happened. The orphan had come out of nowhere; attacking them with clearly no idea that they were HiME, let alone the notion that they were armed.
Ever since the former director of the school and that little shit Nagi had disappeared off of the face of the earth, there had been only a handful of times that Natsuki had found herself wanting for the annoying little man's cryptic way of warning her and the others of the dangers to come. This, unfortunately, was one of those times.
Even a cryptic warning would be better than acting blind as they were now. They had no idea when to expect and attack, or even what cause them. All they knew was that there were suddenly monsters out for their blood once again.
This isn't fucking Sailor Moon or Super Sentai. Natsuki thought angrily as she urged her motorcycle still faster. We don't have the ability to patrol the area, looking for fights like they did.
We're adults. We have lives.
Red light.
Natsuki jerked her head to clear it and slammed on her breaks, stopping just before the white line on the asphalt. The only thing that she could think of that would make this day any worse would be getting a speeding ticket on top of everything else. Cops in this part of town were real sticklers to the rules as well, there was no way that Natsuki's leather pants and tight jacket could talk her out of this one.
She was heading home, desperate to get away from Nao and the confusion of what had just happened; but the thought that that might not be the best idea was quickly racing through her head, fast enough to tell her that she would be far better off guarding herself and Nao from any potential repercussions that came from Shizuru discovering the true cause of her panic.
She had to talk to someone. And Shizuru was not an option.
It had been years since Natsuki had run to Mai with any sort of major problem, but the orange-haired woman was perhaps her best bet in a time like this.
Mai was steady and understood these sorts of things. She had the strength to tell Natsuki the truth when most of Natsuki's other friends would have simply told her what she wanted to hear. Perceptive as that was, Natsuki knew that she wanted someone to spin her the straight story now, not some convoluted piece of opinionated garbage.
She was pretty sure that Mai would be willing to do just that as well. She was a powerful force in most of their lives, and she had been central to the carnival as well.
The traffic light that she'd been idling in front of flashed green and Natsuki gunned her motorcycle's engine once more. She was not in the mood for traffic right now, and even it meant that she took the long way to Mai's place, she would do so.
She needed to think.
Why did they come out for Nao? Duran had been nowhere in sight, but the guns that she'd missed so much had appeared almost as though they'd never been gone.
Natsuki had emptied her entire clip of bullets into the monster's head back there, and then had thrown her gun away without a thought. Her thoughts had been on getting the two of them out of there alive, to provide the opportunity for at least one of them to get out and tell the other HiME what had happened.
Nao was fighting well below her potential, Natsuki had realized when the redhead had gotten herself cornered by the creature just as it was revving up for a high-impact attack.
What a fool that girl was.
Natsuki didn't know what she was thinking of, or where it had come from.
Just a moment in time where she'd remembered that once, long ago, she'd been able to control her own destiny. She'd clung to that sensation, and to the people who let her know that she could shape the outcome of that battle.
Her mid had not been on any one person, but the constant presence of amused russet-colored eyes and the inquisitive look of her son was enough to push Natsuki forward once again.
And then there was Nao.
Natsuki tried not to think about her.
Somehow, the redhead's life had become very precious to her, without Natsuki ever even knowing it. It was strange that it had happened at all - for Natsuki guarded her heart closer to herself than most and Nao had never had a place in it to begin with.
The only thought in her head was that it couldn't be real. Whatever she thought about Nao was inconsequential, frivolous feelings that she had no place having. She had a responsibility to Shizuru, to Jun, to not get confused over simple actions. She had her reputation and honor to maintain.
This was just another obstacle put in place to test her love and dedication to Shizuru.
Yes, that's what it had to be.
It was a slow day at the restaurant, halfway in between the lunchtime rush and the dinnertime push. Tate (formally Tokiha, and no, she quite content to have her husband's last name, thank you very much) Mai was leaning against the bar, deeply engaged in a conversation with her sous chef when the door banged open. While customers were not unheard of at three o'clock in the afternoon, most of them were regulars and knew better than to come in the ornate main entrance.
Mai looked up to see a very dirty and harassed looking Natsuki stalking through the empty tables towards her. She looked as though she'd been through the blender, and Mai was not really sure she wanted to know just how that particular state of being had come to pass.
Natsuki was not the sort to come running to her unless the situation dictated that both of Natsuki's usual shoulders to cry on were out of the question.
Oh god.
"Mai." Natsuki said evenly, squaring herself to look professional and collected even with several nasty scrapes covering her arms and legs and covered in grime. "Could I speak to you alone?"
Mai glanced towards her sous chef, but he was already making his way back into the kitchen. Mai's staff knew that her circle of friends from outside the restaurant business were a tightly knit group with their own ideas about privacy and the like.
"What's going on?" Mai demanded. She looked Natsuki up and down. "You look like you've had a nasty fight."
Natsuki nodded, "Nao and I. It was an orphan, as far as I could tell." She looked very uncomfortable, standing in the middle of this large room. Mai remembered that feeling, the fear of open places that left her open to attack.
This was why she wanted nothing to do with whatever was starting to happen once more. She didn't want her family caught up in the same emotional battlefield that she'd been stuck in for most of her high school career.
"Do you want to go into my office?" Mai offered her smile as genuine as she could make it. She knew that it looked forced, but it seemed to be enough for Natsuki.
"That'd be nice." Natsuki responded.
They went through the kitchen and up a rickety set of stairs to the small hole-in-the wall office that was not connected to the apartment over the restaurant; Mai had carved it out for herself when she'd first started up the restaurant.
She sat down behind her cluttered desk and motioned for Natsuki to sit on the chair opposite.
"Orphans you said?" She had to get Natsuki talking again, for her instincts told her that there was more to this than Natsuki was letting on.
"Yeah." Natsuki sat down. "Nao managed to wound it, but she got cornered just as it was powering up for this sort of energy-based attack."
Natsuki looked down at her hands; they were clenched into tight fists. Mai wondered what could have been so horrid that Natsuki would be so hesitant to tell the story. "Is Nao alright?" Mai inquired.
That would have been a disaster that Mai was not sure she wanted to oversee. Natsuki and Nao were close friends, even if no one else of their little band of HiME could understand where the friendship came from. They were alike souls, both so damaged by the hurt that the ones they loved had caused them - and yet so strong because of it.
They were happy now, Mai knew that.
She also knew how Nao would sometimes look at Kuga when she thought no one was watching.
Mai was no an idiot. She'd missed Fujino's lingering stares, but Nao was far more obvious about her interest. While Natsuki could not understand why Fujino was so intent on keeping the two friends apart - Mai could easily see where she would be worried. Nao wanted something more from Natsuki than the older woman was willing to give.
"She's fine. A little shaken." Natsuki shrugged, "I left her to deal with the authorities." She laughed a little jadedly, "If they are the real authorities at all. I wouldn't be surprised if First District of Searrs was behind this attack."
Mai nodded, they had been biding their time, waiting for the attacks to begin again. They would have to be more vigilant now.
"Why are you so shaken up then, Natsuki?" Mai asked. "You'd go running to Fujino if this was something that she could fix - and yet you come to me."
Mai hoped that she wouldn't have to remind Natsuki that the last time she'd turned to Mai for advice, it was because Fujino Shizuru had just murdered god only knew how many people in Natsuki's name. Those were old memories that Mai would not dredge up unless she absolutely had to.
She still had some honor about her.
"When Nao was cornered by that thing." Natsuki began, staring at her hands. They were flexing instinctively, in that way that they'd been doing ever since the HiME had started to regain their powers. Natsuki could not summon her guns, and it was the source of much debate between Mikoto and Mai herself as to why she couldn't do it. "I wasn't thinking of anything, just that I had to get her out of there. I just stood there and suddenly... suddenly."
Natsuki looked at Mai with pleading eyes, as if begging her friend to understand what was happening.
The pieces fell into place and Mai felt the blood drain from her face.
"Can you summon them again?" She asked, steering the conversation into safer waters. She didn't want to have to be the one to inform Natsuki of the long-standing affection that one Yuuki Nao held for her.
Natsuki closed her eyes and appeared to concentrate. As if they'd never left her hands, the small pistols fell into place.
"Last night," Natsuki said, staring at the weapons in her hands, "Last night Shizuru and I had a fight. About Nao. How typical of us." She shook her head, smiling sadly, "I told her that even if Nao had tried to kill me fifteen years ago, she'd actually succeeded in doing just that."
Mai blinked, "I had no idea that it was that bad."
"I wasn't thinking." Natsuki said angrily. "Feeling sorry for myself, and feeling worthless because I couldn't protect what was most important to me."
Mai nodded, that was the cause of a lot of Natsuki and Fujino's fights; if Nao's gossip was to be believed.
Natsuki continued; "And then Nao, fucking Nao, goes and gets herself in a tight spot and these stupid things come out without hesitation." She tossed her guns at the wall and they vanished into nothingness without so much as a sound.
Pained green eyes fixed Mai with a pleading gaze, "What do I do?"
For all her wisdom, Mai had no answer.
