Thanks to everyone who's reading this and have reviewed, much appreciated. Sorry for these short chapters and for not updating all that quickly, I'm trying to update more frequently now.
Enjoy!
Apologies
Gregor was going to do it first thing in the morning. He was going to apologize to her, first in public, and then in a more personal and private way. Gregor could only hope that she forgave him.
Their lockers were across from each other, so Gregor loitered until Katie appeared, purposefully greeting everyone but him.
Gregor approached her. She shunned him.
He cleared his throat. She ignored him.
"Hey, Katie…?" He started. She looked the other way. He continued, anyway. "Katie, I'm sorry." No response. "I was angry and wasn't thinking straight. I didn't mean any of it." Only as he spoke the words did he finally believe them. "I do want to be your friend, Katie. I've realized that that was what friendship was, having it even when you didn't ask for it." Katie started walking away. Gregor hesitated, but followed. "Katie…" He said, following her down a hallway he knew for a fact wasn't anywhere near her class.
"Gregor, not now." Katie kept walking. Gregor kept following.
Finally, they were in some remote part of the school that Gregor had no idea even existed, but Katie seemed to know about. Gregor opened his mouth to start talking, but Katie raised her hand to stop him.
"Gregor, I know you're sorry. I know you didn't mean everything you said. But, you know, it still hurt." Katie's face was sincere. It really did hurt her. "I was risking so much to be your friend, I had gotten so much criticism from even talking to you and Sam, but I still did it. I still wanted to be your friend. And then you went and threw it all in my face."
Gregor sighed, his shoulders sagging. "I know. I'm sorry. I… I was being selfish, only thinking of myself and how much I needed to keep certain things secret, how I needed to hold on to stuff, and I thought that I couldn't have friends or I'd lose it." Gregor had to be careful about what he said, or she'd ask more questions again. Katie was a curious girl.
"I know you have secrets, and you don't really have to tell us if you don't want to, but you do know that if you need it to be a secret, we'll keep it a secret. Sam and I, I mean."
"I know. I've just been so used to keeping secrets that I forgot it was sometimes easier to tell it and not be alone with the information."
Katie smiled. "Thanks, Gregor. And since we're coming clean to each other–" It wasn't quite true, but she thought it was– "I really wanted you to come on the road trip because I wanted to get to know you better, yeah, but also because I wanted to go but was scared to. I've never been all too far from home, and this trip will allow me to, but my cousin… She's a worldly person. She's sweet and means well, but she won't understand. And she used to scare me a lot, when we were kids. I wasn't quite comfortable going with her alone, and she said she might bring her boyfriend and a friend or two, so I wanted to bring friends too. They're in college, so…" Katie grinned sheepishly.
"Why didn't you ask some of your girlfriends?" Gregor asked. It wasn't just a suggestion, he was curious too.
"Because…" Katie hesitated. "To tell you the truth, I don't like them as much. They're annoying and flaky and fickle, but you and Sam… You two are real, loyal, true friends." Gregor frowned.
"I've been a horrible friend." He said, "You must really not have very good friends if I'm counted as a true friend."
Katie laughed, looking at Gregor like she couldn't believe him.
"What?" He demanded.
"You haven't had friends in a while, have you, Gregor?" Katie asked.
"Well… Aside from you two, no." Gregor said, still confused. She knew this, didn't she?
"When you're in elementary school, everyone's supposed to be friends and everyone's supposed to get along. Middle school, there shouldn't be serious fights, although there will be groups and cliques. High school, the adults stop caring. High school, you can break all the rules. That includes promises you make, any ethical rules you had, and you can break friendships. People stab each other in the back all the time here." Katie gave a breathless laugh, still amused. "That's why I like you and Sam. You two are true friends. No breaking promises, no backstabbing. You two are either too close or not close enough, and at the same time you have no one else to go to."
"Yeah… I guess…" Gregor paused, thinking. "I've always been really close to my friends, though, so I guess I don't know what it's like to have all that many friends who aren't as close as you could hope for. But I do know, rather well, that even your closest friend can stab you in the back."
Katie nodded. "That's kinda what it felt like when you yelled at me." She said quietly. "Like I'd been stabbed in the back by my closest friend."
You're just like Henry! A voice rang inside Gregor's mind, the voice that haunted him every day. Luxa shouted at him in his head, being betrayed by her best friend, the one she had never thought would leave her, no matter how inevitable it was. You're just as bad as Henry!
"I…" Gregor closed his eyes, as if by doing so, he could block out Luxa's voice in his head, as if he could erase the eyes of Katie, hurt, telling him that he had that power again, the power to harm someone he cared about. He remembered why he never liked having friends. Not after Ares and Luxa. "I'm sorry, Katie." He finally said.
"I know you are." Gregor opened his eyes, and Katie smiled at him. "So I forgive you. And because our relationship is like that of two very mature kindergarteners, an apology is all that is needed for forgiveness, and simple words enough to become friends again. Agreed?"
"Agreed."
They shared a smile, and then Katie did something that nearly made Gregor change his mind. Katie reached over and hugged Gregor, who froze at the touch. What was he supposed to do? Awkwardly, he wrapped his arms around her. He patted her back twice, trying to signal to her that she could let go now, and she–thankfully–got the message and pulled away.
"Sorry." Katie didn't look very sorry. "We're already half-way through first period. You wanna skip?" Seeing Gregor's confused face, Katie rephrased. "Go somewhere else for this period. That way we don't have to go to class…?"
"Oh." His first period was science, his favorite subject. He never got any absences' and he got straight As. There was probably going to be a pop quiz and definitely a worksheet that Gregor would have so much fun doing, but he wouldn't be a good friend if he disagreed. "Sure. I've never done it before, so you'll have to teach me." Again, they shared a grin.
"Well, you're talking to the pro. C'mon." Katie grabbed his hand and dragged him to the exit. "Lets use my car, yeah?"
