2.21.13
Odd
The house smells like him. A little bit like cinnamon, and a hint of lavender. When I breathe in and let everything out it's hard not to feel like I'm inhaling him and releasing a mixture of both of us. A new smell.
3.4.13
Bandaged
We've made a schedule of wrapping and re-wrapping me now. Laying on the elevated bed in one of many spare rooms Akira takes them all off only to wrap me back up again. I ask him if he's a doctor but only says 'I have medical training.'. There are a few cuts down my leg and up to my hips that he obsessively checks and applies medicine to. Something about getting infected.
3.5.13
Wheelchair
I've become concerned about the layout of Akira's house. How is it that he has this huge level house with no stairs? It was made for me to be carted around in this damn wheelchair.
3.16.13
Sleeping
Akira sleeps in the room adjacent to mine. Sometimes I can hear him snore from across the hall. It's sad how I can't sleep without that noise anymore.
3.18.13
Him
I saw him today. When I opened my eyes this morning he was laying next to me, red hair laying on the pillow. Even though I don't always see him, it scares me and comforts me at the same time to know he's watching.
3.21.13
One
It's been a month since I came here. Maybe the temperature will get better... but honestly there's something about being cooped up in this house all day with Akira that I love. Always huddled under the blankets watching a movie, or across the room watching him cook. It feels like time...moves slower. More beautifully even.
3.23.13
Tapioca
I'm starting to understand Tapioca a little better. It's ridiculous to think that there's a language and that things can be understood and translated but she's just like us.
3.30.13
Remembering
Now that I think about it neither of us have mentioned a thing about what happened in the hospital. Akira's slip of character, crying and kissing me. Is that because... nothing needs to be said?
3.31.13
Confess
Should I tell Akira why I tried to kill myself? He doesn't need to know. But after spending all this time with him... a part of me says he deserves that much and so much more that I can't give him.
4.1.13
Birth
We saw Haru today. He came down to Earth to celebrate his 'Earth Birthday,' It's weird that Haru can see Yuki so much more fluidly than I can. Akira was confused as Haru seemingly talked to the 'nothing' . Maybe I should tell him...but...
4.2.13
Cope
The trick to not being depressed about Yuki... it's easy now. We've situated ourselves with this routine that my mind can barely think about anything. When I leave, will I be able to handle myself as well as when Akira is here to help me?
4.3.13.
Peek
Last night I snuck into Akira's room while he was sleeping. I don't know why I did it. That's a lie. Well, I just wanted to see him with the turban off. The entire time we've been here he hasn't slipped up at all. Always awake before me, always with that damn thing on. His hair is really... cute.
4.3.13
Shit
Tapioca is such a god damn tattle tale. Akira cut my hair as punishment. We match now.
4.4.13
Crutches
My legs are strong enough now to use the crutches, and Akira said it would be good for my arms. Honestly I don't know why I hated the wheelchair so much. This is painful. Especially difficult with my cast.
4.6.13
Weather
It was bearable outside today. Akira carried me up some hills and mini mountains until we found that spot where the sun was hitting everything perfectly. I swear he's a cat. Because we both curdled up in the grass and drifted into sleep.
4.7.13
No
I have to tell him. I saw. I saw Yuki again. This time it was more that seeing. I could touch him. I don't know what to do. I just...
Yuki said it was normal after a while. But that changed everything... and Yuki simply acted like it didn't.
4.7.13
Gone
One moment Yuki is here and the other he's not. He's my ghost. Really I know he's always here.. but... If I can't always see him than what's the point? I just don't know... what it means. I'm too afraid to kiss him, when I know he'll just disappear. Then again, Yuki won't let me anyhow. He keeps saying you have to move on but I can't when I can curl into your arms when I fall asleep and wake up to nothing. He can't control when I see him and when I don't, but he doesn't want to leave. I don't want to tell him to leave either, but... I can't help but cry.
4.8.13
Confrontation
I've decided.
