~Lonely Hunter~

'these threatening memories won't stop burning'

~Part XI~

~Stories of The Past~


Cerys let her fingers touch her lips, where Kili had let his hand feel her soft lips before he had left for the dinner he was to attend with his fellow Company. Her eyes were closed, as she relived the few minutes she had had with Kili. The Dwarf who she was falling for. Oh, she was screwed. Cerys let herself slide down to the marble floor silently, not caring at the moment about anything. He heart was beating loudly with a patterned rhythm, quick but strong.

Oh, she was very screwed.

Cerys let her hand fall from her lips. She kept her eyes closed, but she could practically see the room she was in. When she had stayed with her Uncle here, she had her fair shares of injuries in this particular room.

Cerys breathed a couple of times not all to quietly. Her heartbeat continued to beat like a drum, never slowing down. It was insanely annoying, but it brought a giddy and happy feeling to her lonely soul. For almost eleven years, Cerys had been alone, besides her encounters with Briya. Those were for different matters. Matters that weren't supposed to be spoken of.

Cerys opened her eyes, and pushed herself off of the marble wall she had been sitting up against. The coldness of the marble wall matched hers. Cerys followed Kili's fading path, opening the tall white wooden door, careful to not make any noise. Cerys looked both ways, before she stepped out into the light hallway lit by the suns rays. Cerys turned to start for the way that led to the dining area. Her Uncle had many dinners outside and they were always held in the same spot. On a balcony near the edge, with a view of the waterfalls and Misty Mountains.

The halls walls were all made of marble, shining bright from the suns rays that hit its surface. Cerys always ran her hand on the halls marble walls just for the pure enjoyment of the slick feeling. It almost reminded her of the water. But ever since the death of her parents, Cerys had grown an increasing fear of water. Lakes, rivers, oceans, even baths. The thought of the running water and rivers caused a shiver to ripple through her spine, the action completely familiar. Cerys let her breath come out in a white puff in front of her. The morning air was cold yet humid and sticky.

Her footsteps were loud and clear in the Halls of Imladris. Cerys's gray leather hunting boots had heels, for fancy measures. The rest of her outfit was obviously black. Cerys had a black tunic with the back of it lower than the front, and a black leather braided skinny belt that went around her hips twice, with her two daggers strapped to the sides on the inside. Cerys had black leggings on as well that were tucked into her boots, with about three throwing knives in each boot. Finally, Cerys had her Elvish blade hanging from her skinny belt next to her daggers, the very tip of the sword gleaming and unhidden.

As Cerys neared the dinner balcony, the laughter and conversations of her newly made companions very loud to her special hearing, she ran her right hand over her black leather bracers on her arm. Cerys's wrist had started to throb when Kili had revealed it and traced the symbol on her wrist of the unknown meaning of her scar.

Cerys squeezed her left wrist with her hand, then let her hand fall back next to her moving side. Cerys sighed lowly, another white puff of air escaping her lips in a swirling shape. She turned a left with the dinner balcony wide and open in front of her very own eyes. She saw her Uncle sitting at his mini throne with Gandalf and Thorin on either side of him. Cerys let her eyes travel over everyone else, trying her best to ignore the stare that a certain dwarf gave her as she entered the dinner balcony clearing.

Cerys was on the last step, when someone's hand was on her shoulder. She turned around slowly, even though she could already tell who it was.

Without turning around to face the 'stranger,' Cerys smiled with her teeth gleaming white.

"Saesa omentien lle... Lindir." Cerys spoke jokingly, sensing the same smile on the strangers face. The strangers let go of her shoulder, and Cerys then turned to face the stranger. She laughed when she saw the familiar smile on Lindirs face.

"Nae saian luume'!" Lindir exclaimed, and he embraced the person he had missed for over ten years. Cerys gladly opened her arms, allowing the welcoming gesture her best friend gave her. Cerys had her face in the crook of Lindirs neck, breathing in the familiar smell. Always flowers and herbs. The usual Lindir for her. Cerys didn't let go until Lindir stopped rubbing her back with his soft pale hands.

When Lindir had his hands on her shoulders, he laughed out loudly. His laugh was soft and calm like most elves. Unlike Cerys's, which was loud and rang like the chiming bells in the Iron Hills when the sun woke up.

"Oio naa elealla alasse' Lindir!" Cerys patted Lindirs back before she turned around to approach her Uncle and the others gathered around his dinner table. Cerys had her left arm draped over Lindirs neck, the gesture unusual for the elves, but a normal thing for Cerys and the kind of Men. Lindir chuckled when Cerys crossed her right arm over her chest whilst bowing down in the mean time, with her other arm still on the back of Lindirs neck.

"Yallume! How are you all?" Cerys asked. She was happy as ever upon finally reuniting with her other half of her family. Never, in ten years, had Cerys properly smiled in such joy like this.

"At last it is, dear. Now, please sit down with us. There are certain matters i would like to discuss with us all." Her Uncle, Lord Elrond responded, with a hint of a smile on the corners of his mouth. Cerys knew he had to be serious at the moment, but she didn't mind his greeting. Her Uncle was a leader of course, and had to be serious and responsible at practically all times.

"Yes Uncle." Cerys let go of her hold around Lindirs neck, and went over to the all to familiar chair in the exact same spot where she had always sat at. Cerys sat down next to Gandalf silently. Lindir walked over to stand on the other side of Lord Elrond, his posture changed entirely, and his stare straight ahead. But Cerys could still see the smiles shadow on his face.

"What matters did you want to discuss Uncle?" Cerys asked. Cerys, from the corner of her eye, could see Thorins gaping expressions. It amused her entirely, causing her insides to laugh hysterically. How could one not laugh at the great Thorin Oakenshields shocked expression? It was worth seeing.

"Mithrandir had told and explained to me how you are involved with the Dwarves quest to reclaim Erebor, though i still do not understand how it has anything to do with you." Lord Elrond informed, though the last par was more of a question rather than a fact. Cerys pulled out one of her knives from her boot, fiddling with it without caring whether or not she nicked herself.

"I owe Mithrandir, Uncle. You may not see any reason behind this, but i do. I keep my promises." Cerys stated. She took in a thick and painful gulp of air between her clenched teeth. Gandalf watched her play with the dagger with her frail fingers, her not paying any attention to what Lord Elrond said next.

"I see. Anyways, Thorin, what were you saying before?" Lord Elrond turned to Thorin when he too realized Cerys wasn't paying any true attention to anything. Thorin had noticed it too, with a surprising thought that came along as well; Just like Kili during his lessons...

Soon Gandalf, Lord Elrond, and Thorin began discussing and arguing over the quest to reclaim Erebor, without taking a further notice of Cerys who sat still with her dagger in her hands at the head table.


The Dwarves sat around floor tables, similar to the Chinese seating tables, with their bums resting on comfortable pillows. There were exactly two of them, diagonally placed on the dinner balcony. Most of the elder Dwarves sat at the one nearest Lord Elronds table, and the other one consisted of the younger Dwarves. Kili was amongst them, with his head bowed down as he secretly took great pleasure on the fruits & vegetables as their meal. Kili was different than other Dwarves.

Kili had one of the vegetable 'wraps' that had a thin layer of bread rolled around the mix of vegetables inside of the bread. There were mainly peppers, lettuce, tomatoes, and some avocado mixed together with spicy herbs and honey drizzled inside of it if Kili was right from the bite he had had.

Ori eyed the big piece of lettuce he held in his hand, and Kili urged him to try it. Dori had watched Kili gladly eat the vegetable wrap creation of the elves with delight, but when he had turned to see if his brother had fancied himself to anything rowed along the small table, his younger brother had a look of disgust written all over his face.

"Try it. Just a mouthful." Dori hinted, a flinch of hope in his voice as he practically begged his brother to try the crunchy and healthy green leaf. Ori began to shake his head in an obvious 'no,' before answering his brother who constantly mothered him.

"I don't like green food." Ori let go of the green leaf, letting his head then to fall into his hands in shame. Kili was facing Dwalin, who was like his second Uncle for him, had to stifle a laugh at what he saw.

"Where's the meat?!" Dwalin asked gruffly, his voice thick with lingering anger. Kili took another bite into the vegetable wrap, happy that he enjoyed the food that they had been given to eat. At least he wouldn't starve if anything.

As Kili swallowed the big mouthful of the vegetable wrap he had taken, his gaze fell upon the girl sitting at the head table where Gandalf, his Uncle, and Lord Elrond feasted at. Kili saw her hands fiddle with a dagger of her own from under the table, her own gaze nowhere in particular. She placed her dagger on her lap, and reached over the tables edge to get her wine glass.

Cerys took a big sip of the strong wine, the smell of grapes and some other alcohol wafting into the air. Soon it'd be part of her breath in the evening.

Kili wondered how the wine tasted like, since in the Blue Mountains they only had ale and some other strong alcohol. He reached for his own wine glass, which thankfully was filled till the top of the curved glass. He placed the glass on the tips of his lips, and took a cautious taste. The wine slipped down his throat, and the bitter but strong liquid caused Kili to squinch his mouth and eyes together. The wine wasn't so bad, but it had a very sour-like taste to it at the end. He liked it.

All the Dwarves had seen Kili follow the Lonely Hunters moves, some of them smiling, and others frowning. Like Dwalin as an example.

Kili set the wine glass back down, and laid his hands into his lap. He felt stuffed.


Cerys finished her wine with a second swig, the red liquid all disappeared from the beautifully carved glass. Cerys saw Lindir follow her moves, and she winked at him, earning a wink from him as well.

Cerys excused herself, her Uncle nodding in approval, and Gandalf and Thorin simply continuing their discussion. Cerys went over to the she-elf who played the harp softly. Cerys sat on the edge of the balconies edge where the she-elf also sat down on. Cerys smiled as so did the she-elf, probably in respect.

"What musical piece are you playing, if i may ask, my Mellon?" Cerys questioned the she-elf. The she-elf moved her head to the side next to her lap, before she went back to playing the harp. Cerys took the small pile of papers that were laying next to the she-elf's lap, her eyes beginning to scan the music sheet.


Kili stared at Cerys, his mouth only barely hanging open a gap. Kili saw Cerys take hold of the music sheets, reading them over carefully with ease. Her eyes scanned every bit and piece, her mouth slightly twitching up into a smile when she saw something funny in the music sheet.

Dwalin took notice of Kili's stare, and he saw Kili suddenly wink. Dwalin turned around and quickly saw the two girls that were seated next to each other. One wasn't paying attention at all, but the she-elf that played the harp grinned from Kili's wink. Dwalin sighed. Most she-elves did if it was Kili. Dwalin turned back to face Kili, thinking that Kili had winked at the she-elf playing the harp.

Kili tore his stare away from Cerys, and was hit with the intense glare from Dwalin. Kili came up with an excuse, terrified if Dwalin had witnessed his previous stares.

"Can't say i fancy elf-maids. Too thin. They're all high cheekbones, and creamy skin! Not enough facial hair for me, although, that one there's not bad!" Kili moved his head, his eyes following the elf's graceful walk. Dwalin leaned forward, his elbows resting on the table.

"That's not an elf-maid lad." Dwalin whispered gruffly. He was annoyed as it was, and he had Kili flirting with elves!

"W-w-what!?" Kili stuttered. Surely it was an elf-maid! Kili looked more closely, and when the elf revealed its face, Kili was proven wrong. It was an elf. No she-elf. Oh hell. All the Dwarves pointed at Kili, laughing at him, some with food in their mouths, and others with wine glasses in their hands. Kili blushed angrily, and he laughed along in embarrassment.

"Very funny." Kili muttered. He wiped his mouth with a napkin, and stood up from his sitting position on the pillow. Kili then turned to walk out of the balcony were everyone was seated at, and he left without sparing a glance.

Fili moved so that he could get up, and followed his brother. He had seen his brother act like this way too many times after going out to the market or something else. He always would have been made fun of, and when he was younger, would come back to the little house, crying in humiliation. A few times, Kili would hurt himself, by either ripping some of his brunette hair out, or he'd even secretly hurt himself to get rid of the fierce hollow pain in his chest from all the insults and punches he'd get from the Dwarves in the Blue Mountains.

"Kili!" Fili called out when he was ear shout from the Elves and Dwarves. Kili was near the infirmary, where he had been healed of his head wound by Cerys. Cerys. He wondered if she had noticed his sudden disappearance.

"Nadadith, why did you run out on everyone?" Fili asked his brother quietly, though he already knew the answer to his stupid question. Kili halted, and then let his back lean against the nearby marble wall. He hated it when Fili asked him that, when the answer was so easily known and figured out.

"Fee, you know better than anyone why i did." Kili murmured quietly with a harsh tone. He wasn't in the mood for any comfort. He just wanted some time alone.

"Fine then. Just come back when you've cleaned your mind, alright?" Fili told Kili. Kili nodded, muttering a yes before he turned around to face the other end of the halls. Fili sighed, and left his brother in peace.


Cerys had seen Kili leave the balcony abruptly, and she felt a stirring feeling in the pit of her stomach. Something like worry. She hadn't felt it in a while. Cerys thanked the she-elf, and got up from the spot she had been sitting at. She walked past her Uncle, who watched her, and past Lindir, who gave her a confused look when she went by.

"Not now." Was all she said in answer. Cerys went down the steps, following Kili's footsteps. Fili ran into her as she approached the turn into the Halls. Fili gave her a look, and was about to speak when Cerys cut him off.

"I am going to the library, Master Fili." Cerys said, and she practically ran past a mouth-gaping Fili.


Cerys quieted her foot steps as she approached the infirmary. She had a warm feeling spread over her, from the gut to her face. Cerys paused between foot steps, and let her fingertips touch her red and warm cheek. Her fingers were cool, and hey felt weird on her warm cheek. Cerys shook her head, and continued walking quietly.

Cerys looked both ways, and smiled when she saw Kili leaning against the mini balcony pillar next to the infirmary. Cerys creeped up behind Kili, and held her breath when she pushed Kili's back gently. Kili jumped, causing Cerys to laugh.

"You alright, lad?" Cerys asked whilst still trying to stop laughing. Kili smiled and he gently pushed Cerys as payback.

"I'm fine. It's nothing, really." Kili answered. He really wanted to be alone. It seemed as if Mahal was working against his wishes. Cerys stopped laughing when she saw Kili look down to the floor instead of her face.

"Kili, have you checked on your head wound?" Cerys asked Kili yet another question. Kili sighed.

"I didn't think that i would need to." Kili told her. Cerys nodded, and then suddenly grabbed Kili's left hand. Kili yelped in surprise as he was yanked from his position against the cold pillar. Cerys giggled quietly, and she started to break into a run, dragging Kili behind her as she ran down the halls.

Kili tried to get himself free from the strong grip on his hand but it was no use. Kili grunted when he nearly ran into one of the walls that turned into a corner.

"Cerys!" Kili groaned when his shoulder was close to hitting a corner. "Will you let go of me! I can follow you!" Kili exclaimed. He truly didn't fancy being turned into wall goo. Cerys giggled once more, and she let go of Kili, before she whirled around to see his flabbergasted face.

"What do you think?" Cerys asked Kili. Kili halted right before Cerys, with awe written all over his face.

The room they were in was pure beauty. The room was completely round, made out of a pale blue marble. There were two twisted pillars at the entrance of the balcony that was straight ahead. On one side of the room, there was a resting area with a bed mattress and pillows of all sorts of shapes and colors and textures covering almost every spot. There was a curtain of beads around the small resting area, but on the opposite side of the room, there was a table with a mirror. There were paintings and portraits of different places and people hanging on he wall behind the table with the mirror.

Kili walked closer to the wall of paintings and portraits. He reached for the portrait of a little pale girl with long wavy blonde hair. As he looked more closely, he saw that the little girl had very familiar eyes. The girl was smiling happily, as she held a red rose in her small hand. The little girl was in a meadow of tall green grass and flowers of all sorts surrounding the area. There were dark-looking trees in the background. Kili then realized with shock, that the little girl was Cerys.

Kili turned his head, and saw Cerys staring intently at him with something in her eyes. It looked as if she was holding back tears that fought to be free.

"Cerys,... are you alright?" Kili wondered what had caused the tears and up-bring of emotions. Cerys breathed out, and she simply walked stiffly to the balcony. Kili frowned, but followed her anyways.

The balcony had flowers, mainly roses, neatly covering the floor of the edge of the balcony. Kili noticed roses of a variety of colors everywhere.

"I brought you to this room because... i thought you'd want to know more..." It seemed as if Cerys had difficulty to word out anything. Cerys gulped, clutching the balconies edge tightly, her knuckles turning white from the amount of pressure she applied. Kili noticed that Cerys was shivering, her eyes shut together tightly as if she could ward off the threatening memories and nightmares away.

"If it's to hard for you, i understand. You do not have to make it worse for yourself Cerys." Kili whispered. He held her hand next to his, her fingers cold as ice. How did she get cold so quickly?

"No. I mean, it's not that it's difficult for me, but i've never told anyone about it before. I just feel like i should tell you." Cerys mumbled. She had lied about it not being difficult. It was hard for her to even remember her brothers damn name. Anything from her past as a child was painful.

"What did you want to tell me Cerys?" Kili curiously asked. Kili didn't want to push his luck, he could tell that just breathing was hard for Cerys at the moment. Kili squeezed her cold hand tightly, with enough force to cause Cerys to look down at their entwined fingers. Cerys's eyes slightly widened but she didn't rip her hand out of his grasp. The warm feeling felt good against her freezing hand.

Cerys blinked once, then twice before she breathed out again.

"I want to tell you about my family Kili. Everything." Cerys let out. Cerys felt a tear slip out of her eye, luckily not on the side of her face that Kili could see.

"Alright. Tell me whatever you want to tell me." Kili replied, his voice soft and tranquil. Cerys saw Kili watching her, as if expecting her to laugh in his face and tell him she was merely fooling around with him. But she didn't. Cerys pulled Kili down with her as she sat with her legs crossed over each other on the balconies floor. Cerys still held onto Kili's hand, and she felt the weird feeling flare up in the pits of her stomach. She really did have the urge to just-

"It's crazy... family i mean." Kili interrupted her crazy thoughts, which she was proud of him doing. Cerys stared at Kili's eyes, the previous events repeating themselves over again.

"You are quite right there." Cerys muttered under her breath. Kili, however, heard her and he chuckled.

"My father was killed during the Battle of Moria. My mother was devastated. I was barely able to even stand up when my family got the news." Kili told her. Cerys felt something tug at her heart, and she moved closer to Kili. Kili tried to hide the surprise from his face, but Cerys could easily read people.

"How did your brother react to the news?" Cerys questioned. Kili sighed, before he continued.

"Fili was only five years older than me. He understood things much better than me of course. But he tells me that he cried. Actually cried. You know, Dwarves grow very attached to their families. They'd do anything for each other." Cerys smiled at the last part. It was sweet in her opinion.

"Thorin always argued with my father though. He said my father was irresponsible. My mother of course disagreed. I can't really say anything about the matter though." Kili closed his eyes, trying to remember his fathers face. In the mean time, Cerys fought the urge to cry.

"My parents were married for twenty years." Kili opened his eyes so that he could see Cerys's face as she started to speak. The rough expression was back, plastered on her face as she began to tell Kili her entire story.

"My mother,... was a Sylvan Elf. A Taur'quessir. My father was of the race of Men. They met while my mother was on a hunting trip, and my father was coming back from a meeting in Ered Luin. My father told me that when he first laid eyes on my mother, he had felt a light flutter in his heart. He had described it as if staring upon Starlight. My mother had said that she immediately knew she would be with him." Cerys paused to take a shaky breath. As she shivered, Kili let go of her hand, and took of his fur coat. Cerys frowned in confusion, but when Kili leaned forward to wrap it around her back, Cerys shook her head.

"You will be cold Kili." Cerys pulled herself away, but Kili wouldn't take no as an answer.

"I am fine Cerys. I have more than enough to keep me warm. You need it more than i do and you know it." Kili watched her shoulders sag in defeat.

"It will be your blame if you catch anything." Cerys muttered. Kili laughed, a sound loud and beautiful to her ears. Cerys grinned when he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and his other hand once again entwined with hers.

"At least i'll know you'll take care of me if anything."

"Of course." Cerys whispered under her breath, so quiet that even she could barely hear herself.

"Did you have any siblings?" Kili asked. He waited for her reply, but he didn't get anything. Kili turned slightly, and he saw a tear streak down her cheek, leaving a glistening trail behind as it fell onto her lap.

"Hey, hey. It's alright Cerys. You don't have to tell me anything." Kili rubbed her arm, going up and down to warm her shivering body.

"I killed him." Cerys said. Kili widened his eyes. She had what?

"Who?"

"M-m-my... B-brother." Cerys stumbled on the words she formed in her mouth. Images of the bloody dagger in her shaking hands, her older brother lying dead on the wooden floors of their rampaged home... They burned her mind.

"He-he,... tried to k-kill me. I-i-i d-didn't know w-what to d-do." Cerys let a sob rack through her, causing her to start into a coughing fit. Kili hushed her, and he hugged her against his warm chest. The warmth from his body radiated, as if it was a fire of her very own that she could touch but not be burnt by.

"I'm a m-monster..." Cerys sobbed. She clutched Kili's light blue tunic, as if he was the anchor to her safety and sanity.

"Shhh. Cerys, it's alright. You didn't know what to do. You were young, and were being attacked." Kili inhaled the scent of her, as if he couldn't get enough of her no matter what. Kili closed his eyes, as did Cerys.

Cerys buried her face into his necks crook, where she could feel the pulse of his neck beating like crazy. Was he scared? Cerys breathed in and out, trying to calm her wrecked body. She had stayed together for so many years, and now she had to break apart. Wait,... why was she even with him?! She shouldn't feel this way for anyone. She shouldn't be with anyone! The only thing she'll cause for the person is real pain, one so strong and hurtful. That's all she has ever done. At the end, she always leaves. She always has to leave.

"Kili, i-"

"Cerys it's fine. It's alright to be vulnerable you know. It proves that you do have feelings and emotions like any other person. It's what makes us unique." Kili whispered. Kili gave Cerys a squeeze before he let his head fall down a little. Before he could help himself, Kili slowly began to drift off, leaving Cerys alone and awake.

Everyone was probably gone, and resting in their own little balcony. Kili didn't really care if anyone was worried about where he went off to. He just wanted to stay, with his arm around Cerys. It was anything he could have asked for.

"You can always talk to me Cerys..." Kili mumbled before he dozed off completely. Cerys sighed, but she turned and smiled when she saw Kili smiling in his sleep.

"No matter what." Cerys whispered, snuggling herself deeper into the warmth of Kili's chest and arm. She already knew she wouldn't have any painful nightmares or memories tonight.

Not if she was with Kili.


YAY! MY STORY HAS NEARLY 3K VIEWS! *happy dance* THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!

I love you ALL soooo much! So what do you think of the Fili/ Kili brotherly interaction... wait, i meant the 'CERILI' interaction. Just guess how Fili is gonna react when he finds them snuggled up together in the morning.

Oh, and by the way you guys, the next 2-4 chapters are going to be based in Rivendell (aka. Imladris.) Cerys will be with Lindir, and Lady Galadriel as well.

AWWWW! But c'mon! Wasn't it cute! The whole 'Kili + Cerys' thing?! I wuv those too even though Cerys is my OC.

Oh, and i forgot to do 'DISCLAIMERS' for all the chapters,... so i' gonna do it now before i forget,... AGAIN.

DISLCLAIMER: I own nothing but my very own OC, Cerys!

Okay, i'll shut up now, and let you think this chapter through. I'll update as soon as i can,...

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xoxoxo

~Lola

~Ave Atque Vale