How do I write Kadaj? Just pretend you're writing a Yuri on Ice fanfic with Yuri Plisetsky as Kadaj lmao (no but seriously he's literally Kadaj and Cloud's lovechild he has Kadaj's hairstyle and green eyes (he's also a little bitch) and Cloud's blonde hair)

DISCLAIMER : go back to chap 1


"I don't understand, why all this Deepground stuff? Why are you obsessed with this Cloud?"

Kadaj's lips were a bit pouted and his green eyes peered up at him. The blonde set down the papers ignoring him.

"Does it have to do with whoever Genesis is-"

"No. It doesn't."

Cloud answered fast, a bit too fast.

"It doesn't matter to you. I'm just worried it's another Shinra regime, that's all."

The ex-merc shuffled around the papers, putting them in a pile. He began sketching something on a written document with red pen. Something very important.

'Find location. Immediately.'

He just wondered something: why hold back? Why couldn't Rufus just take them down? He was Shinra, all he could do was march in and kill everyone, why didn't he do something?

He had all the armies in the world, he had all the SOLDIERS in the world, anyone who was still loyal to the company would help. They could take down Deepground, right?

Why was it taking him this long?

Sure they had their own lawless society but why couldn't they just squash them unsuspectedly?

This underground company was still operating under President Shinra's command, that felt so long ago compared to him. That was when he was still at Nibelheim, with his mom.

Before He-

"Can I help?"

The teen hoisted himself up on a seat, his delicate pale hands tiny compared to Cloud's. Yet they were still able to beat him. They were clenching around a document which details special trained soldiers, Rufus called them Tsviets.

"Had Genesis' genes? Is that why he's so important?"

Kadaj was busy reading about what they were he didn't notice Cloud was watching him. Again.

"What I don't understand is why they even bother to do Genesis, wasn't Mother's DNA the same?"

Cloud was caught off guard with what Kadaj knew about SOLDIER but then again he did bring in documents from their library.

"Well no, Jenova's DNA was already used in a separate project called Project G which Genesis came out of. It was a 'failure' for the most part since he started degenerating at a rapid rate. His body wasn't built for Jenova's cells."

Cloud coughed, looking down. He was afraid he creeped Kadaj out by staring at him but he couldn't help staring at those pouty lips and pink cheeks-

"But why use Genesis? Can't they just use Mother's cells?"

Kadaj noticed his staring and shifted in his seat, coughing. Cloud snapped out of it and shook his head.

C'mon Cloud, he's not that interesting.

"They already used Jenova's cells and it was successful with Sephiroth and Angael, maybe the President wanted something different? My theory is that these soldiers don't think and just do as they're told, like robots. I think that's exactly what the President wanted all along."

Cloud didn't know why but his thoughts trailed back to Vincent. That phone call - which was the last time he talked to him - was strange enough on its own.

He sounded rough and hurried, like he was in the middle of finding something great. It's a possibility Cloud wasn't the only one researching Deepground, since Vincent Valentine knew absolutely everything about everybody. No matter how safeguarded the secrets were in Shinra, Valentine was always a step ahead.

Since Kadaj's attack, Rufus decided to go out in public, make them trust him more. Sure he had a bunch of classified secrets swept under the rug but that didn't need to spill.

But Vincent, always Vincent, lifted up the rug and knew everything.

"So if the President ordered an entire village to be slaughtered, they'd do it?"

Cloud intentionally wanted to dodge the question but his skin was crawling for an answer.

"No, SOLDIERs aren't trained for that yet. They mostly taught them about the mission, it had to be done no matter the cost. Nobody needed to die but… if they were in the way or trying to kill you, you had to act fast."

He had a sense he was sickening Kadaj than entertaining him. Funny how time passed.

"But that's only for higher ups. I didn't do that, never really… got into SOLDIER."

This just made the boy glance up in shock, bright green eyes flashing for a second.

"But how do you know so much about it, you even know where the rooms are, what the higher ups did, you went in Lazard's office-"

"That wasn't me, that was… Zack."

Just saying the name made his body rigid with ice. He remembered how he used to like Zack, he loved him. It would almost be the same with Kadaj except-

Same with Kadaj?

Zack wasn't anywhere near Kadaj.

"Zack… you mean the guy with the scar on his face and really blue eyes?"

The remnant stood up from the couch, the bottom of Cloud's oversized black pants dragging loosely on the floor. He made his way to the kitchen, Cloud hearing pots and pans hitting each other.

Cloud was about to ask how on earth he knew about Zack Fair but then the thought struck him Kadaj saw Zack in the Lifestream the year he was off.

"Yeah… he was my friend. My best friend."

Heart pounding in his ears, hands shaking, breath coming in puffs as cold ghostly drops of rain fell on his skin.

"Actually we were more than friends, he… he meant a lot to me. The world to me."

He swore his voice broke, his jaw slack. He refused to look up in fear he'd end up breaking down in front of Kadaj.

At least somebody's keeping up!

Faint whispers bounced off the halls in his head like music but nothing he wanted to hear. No, anything but that…

'Well, I'm a country boy too.'

From where?

Nails scratching wood, flies buzzing, buzzing-

'Nibelheim.'

Laughter ringing like bells, like a church. Zack's laugh was like a church, you could hear it from a mile away but no matter how loud it was it eased all the tension in your body. Just hearing it lifted you up from how down you were…

'How about you?'

Me? Gongaga.

Cloud remembered how funny it was when it fell on his ears, it wasn't that he heard about Gongaga until Zack brought it up but it's just that Nibelheim and Gongaga at that time was a shock to most people. Probably nobody heard of those two places, anything not relating to Shinra hub was unheard of.

Hey, what's so funny about that? You know Gongaga?

'No but… it's such a backwater name.'

Ditto, Nibelheim.

The blonde recalled how taken aback he was at first but this was a SOLDIER, could you talk back at one?

'Like you've been there.'

I haven't but there's a reactor there, right?

That damn reactor.

At that time Cloud thought it was cool there was a Mako reactor near his village, now he wished he never saw that blasted thing. A disease, of what it was.

A Mako reactor outside Midgar usually means…

'Nothing else out there.'

He laughed out loud, in the midst of a floodgate. His lip quivered, fists clenching as he nearly broke the chair handles.

Good news Tseng, me and…

"Cloud..?"

'Cloud.'

Me and Cloud, we're both-

"Cloud?"

Backwater experts.

"Cloud!"

Scraping.

That's the sound that brought him back. Kadaj was standing in front of him, silver floppy hair in his face as he scraped the bottom of the pan. That wasn't even the thing he noticed, he noticed the concern on his face like he was worried Cloud was gonna hurt himself.

Why would he be worried?

"You okay there? You just blanked out for a second- are you crying?"

The blonde registered the worry in his voice, not necessarily threatening but almost sad he couldn't make him forget. But why? Kadaj didn't know Zack the way he had, why even worry about him?

Cloud wiped his face from the cold tears with his gloved hands, the leather an inconvenience. He wanted something soft like hands.

Tifa's soft pearly hands always smelling like perfume or hand lotion was something he needed now.

He didn't realize Kadaj was still standing there but the pan disappeared somewhere else and his hands were clean, smelling like daisies in a meadow.

"U-Uh…"

Kadaj grabbed a box of tissues off the nightstand and gave it to him hastily, his face starting to gain color.

"I don't know why you're crying, I don't know if it has to do with Zack but he's happy… in the lifestream. He kept on talking nonstop about you, Aerith too-"

Oh no not her…

The look on Cloud's face registered to Kadaj, prompting the remnant to quickly wipe his ears with the bundled up tissues in his hand, stuttering.

"H-Hey uh look don't do this to me I don't know how to deal with somebody crying! Yazoo always did that, I don't know anything!"

Kadaj was busy defending himself but also trying not to offend Cloud that he didn't realize the blonde was staring at his hands. The small soft ones, pearly white compared to his.

"Loz used to cry like a baby and I didn't know what to do to calm him down, Mother didn't help and Yazoo was the only one there! I mean Loz was weak and counted on us for everything but that's not the point-"

The remnants hands were suddenly grabbed by Cloud who held them in his palms. His voice quickly cut, the blonde shushing anything he had to say. Kadaj opened his mouth to say something, possibly out of shock until he felt the hands being…

Kissed?

Kadaj's eyes went wide like saucers, shocked cat green flashing up at Cloud. His face was tomato red, and his voice hit an all time high.

"C-Cloud?"

He stuttered, watching the blonde close his eyes and kiss his wrists and palms, turning the soft hand over to kiss his knuckles. Kadaj's heart raced in his chest, looking away out the window.

Unlike the tent, this wasn't solely based on lust. Kadaj didn't want to rip off the stupid velvet and leather black clothes Cloud wore which hugged his lean and muscled body. He didn't want Cloud to mark his body with love bites, while simultaneously thrusting into him. He didn't want-

Oh come on, stop fucking thinking of that.

"Cloud?"

Kadaj's voice came a little too high, tugging slightly. The blonde's blue eyes finally registered what he was doing and let go of them, the remnant taking them back.

Both of them stood there in awkward silence. Cloud's eyes were planted on the wall and Kadaj's were downcast at the floor. The remnant swore he heard the blonde's lips smack as if to say something but didn't, instead he just…

Stared.

I swear to god Yazoo would've loved this treatment…

"Alright Deepground's still up and running didn't you say you found a base?"

Kadaj snapped the blonde back, the man's eyes blinking in shock.

"Yeah, Rufus he uh… he may have slipped a few hints and there. It's buried under the Shinra Headquarters, like in the basement."

Kadaj furrowed his brows, his eyes almost widening.

"What? Are you kidding me?"

The remnant was incredibly baffled stumbling on his words as he wrapped his mind around this.

"You mean to tell me that Deepground, the oh-so deadly program which tested on soldiers is buried under our noses? … Shinra?"

Kadaj started to laugh, a genuine one.

Wait… that would be so simple, what if we walk straight into a trap?

"I still don't think it's safe for us to go alone. Can we get Vincent to come with us?"

The feeling of Cloud's lips was still on his hands in turn making Kadaj blush.

The name 'Vincent' prompted the blonde to turn his head, giving Kadaj a look in between of curiosity and anxiety.

"Valentine? I haven't been able to reach him… wait, how do you know he's looking into this?"

It suddenly made him wonder how much Kadaj knew about Deepground. Does he know he's been meeting with Rufus? Does he know the possibility of his brother's even being alive?

"You keep your notebook out, it's hard not to look when it's laying straight on the desk."

Oh that one. Thank Gaia it's not the other one.

Kadaj bent over the low table, his silver bangs in front of his face as he picked up the notebook, the one with scribbles almost nobody can read.

How many times have Tifa teased me over my handwriting?

Cloud suddenly had a memory of when they were in school, mostly in first grade when he was beginning to read and write. All his other classmates around him managed to write words perfectly without bearing down on the pencil but every damn time Cloud finished a sentence it was accompanied by the teacher yelling at him for writing darkly and scribbling down 'like he was coloring with crayons'.

He never really cared, the kids all made fun of him anyway, if it was his hair, his voice, the fact he didn't have friends, the fact he didn't have a dad…

After what happened with Tifa, they all just called him a freak. Maybe that's what he was.

"Brother?"

The smallest remnant snapped him back still holding the notebook in his hands. He looked a little impatient but also concerned.

"Kadaj, how many times have I told you not to call me that?"

Cloud huffed, blonde thin eyebrows furrowed as he took the book back, clamping something down so he had a little trouble opening it.

"Well you didn't exactly answer me the first time, you keep on daydreaming when I'm talking!"

The remnant tried sizing up to the blonde but only managed to reach his shoulder. Cloud just brushed him aside putting the notebook away in his bag.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!"

He growled under his breath stamping his feet as he tried to get attention.

Literally looks like a toddler.

The ends of Cloud's mouth turned up in a chuckle, flicking his forehead.

Who does he think he is?

Both of them thought at the same time.

"Oh shut up!"

Kadaj pushed him trying to piss off Cloud but only entertained him. He saw a glint in the blonde's eyes, his mouth dropping open in surprise.

"What the hell are you thinking?"

The remnant's voice rose in pitch, obviously he tried to be bigger but it failed tremendously.

"You're not thinking dirty thoughts are you- Cloud!"

Kadaj shrieked, his feet swooped off the ground. Cloud's strong hands were cupped around his thin waist, lifting him up high. He glared daggers at the blonde who only smirked and bounced him in the air like a little kid.

"What the hell! Put me down!"

He kicked him, stunned that it only bounced off of him as he watched the shit eating grin on Cloud's face expand.

"You remind me of a two year old, you know that-"

"Put me down or I swear to Gaia I'll kick you in the-!"

The piercing sound of a phone going off cut him off, both darting their eyes on Cloud's cell phone on the table.

Kadaj was astonished that the blonde's facial expression could change so fast. From a rare mischievous grin and searing blue eyes to blank paper glass shattering on the ground.

Kadaj just stood there as Cloud left him to answer the phone. He registered how he tried to be happy but inside he was just… tired.

"What the hell man, I've been trying to reach you for, what, five years?... don't give me that bullshit Vincent… again? … Fine, I'll see you… Yeah… I'm gonna pass by Tifa's for a second though. Answer your phone, will you? See ya."

Cloud hung up on them, turning around to see Kadaj's confused face.

"That was Vincent, he's got something on Deepground."

The blonde brushed past the teen, bumping shoulders. He stuffed papers, a notebook and a soda can in his bag.

He came across the picture of Kadaj sitting on a bucket at the Al Bhed camp.

Why?

He folded the edges of the photograph in his fingers.

Why do I still have this?

The photo slipped from his hands. It landed perfectly on the table, face up.

"I forgot about them."

He heard Kadaj's voice behind him. Soft, lacking delusion, and young.

"What?"

Cloud turned around. The youth's hands were stuffed in his pant's pockets.

"The kids. But I guess that's a good thing, right? After what I did…"

His green eyes were downcast like a child who did something wrong and was yelled at by their parents.

"Did they uh… talk about me? After I died?"

For some reason every time Kadaj brought up the fact he died, it stung his heart. He remembered being there, holding him, watching Aerith come down and take him away… with all the rain pouring down…

Cloud refused to believe he was crying right in his face.

He wasn't crying.

After Kadaj dissolved, he remembered a part of him forcing his body to stand up and run after the crystals. He caught one but it just… dissipated.

"No, they didn't."

Cloud swallowed the lump in his throat, his eyes cast at the wall because if he even dared steal a glance at Kadaj, he was gonna cry. He hated it. He hated looking weak.

"You sure about that? Why don't you look at me and say it."

The remnant had that bite in his voice.

Gaia, why are you so annoying?

"Cloud? I'm getting mad."

If I look at you, I'll start crying, you'll think I'm a freak, you'll-

There was harsh footsteps on the floor making their way to Cloud.

"I swear to god, how does Tifa even deal with-"

Kadaj snapped. A slender hand shot at his collar but unknown to him, Cloud's mind was everywhere.

The blonde's hand gripped his wrist holding it up and the other hand grabbed his shirt.

Pull? No push, wait push!

It was too late. At the last minute Cloud dodged the soft lips his body wanted to kiss so badly and instead landed on his forehead.

Everything froze.

It's all so sudden Kadaj didn't talk. A sound came out sure, but that's all. His face instantly heated up.

This was just like a few moments ago. Except Cloud didn't listen to his body.

Kadaj just stood there in Cloud's arms with the blonde's surprisingly soft lips kissing his forehead.

It could be worse.

"H-Huh? C-Cloud uh…"

Kadaj stammered, jade eyes wide as the blonde pulled away blush dusting his own face. Kadaj was gonna speak but his words caught in his throat when Cloud's thin lips turned up in a smile.

"They talked about you, twice. Denzel was scared to death, Marlene thought Loz was nicer…"

He scoffed, shocking Kadaj even more by talking to him.

"And that moogle girl… I don't know her name but she's terrified. I think she's angry at you 'cause of the stigma, you know? Her brother died of it."

Kadaj bit back his words. They threatened to spill but Cloud didn't need it falling on his ears. Not about the kids.

"Anyway I gotta get going. Don't leave the room, understand? Don't step out in the balcony and don't answer the door when somebody knocks."

The blonde zipped up his front, pocketing his cell phone.

"If there's an alarm or something it's usually false and again don't answer the door even if it's my friends-"

"Cloud-"

"Don't order out pizza, make some ramen or something, don't answer the phone-"

"Cloud…"

"And don't under any circumstances touch my notes, some of them are from like years ago when Sephiroth was still-"

"Cloud!"

The remnant was breathing harshly, as if holding tears back. Luckily none poked through so Cloud had no idea he was suffering.

"J-Just… at least make them seem like I changed?"

Kadaj sounded absolutely miserable.

Cloud actually felt something, like he was sorry for him. Luckily he had friends who helped him and never blamed him. Even when he had a history with Sephiroth or sympathized with Shinra - very rarely - they were there to support him.

But Kadaj has no one.

"You know I can't tell them you're alive, right? If I tell them it'll shatter everything. I worked so hard for them to trust me again and if I-"

"I know."

Kadaj cut him off, his gloomy deep emerald eyes refusing to meet his.

"You weren't around, right? Kids are kids, they'll forgive but they'll never forget."

The remnant took light steps towards the couch. He practically fell on it. His facial expression told it all.

"Just go. I'll find another way to forgive myself."

"Kadaj…"

Why are you feeling sorry for him?

He took light steps towards him, a hand reaching out. Kadaj didn't even stop it. The hand went through the silver locks, as mesmerizing as moonlight.

"I'll find a way."

Why are you helping him?

"I'll find a way to make them see. You're not the other Kadaj, you're actually trying this time."

He smiled and it caused the remnants heart to thump.

"Just stay here."

Cloud pulled away, his eyes still on the boy. His own heart pounded, his body stilled and filled with warmth as his stomach churned.

Why am I feeling this? Towards a Sephiroth remnant?

Even when he picked up his keys and shut the door behind him, a thousand thoughts ran around in his head.

This better not backfire in the future.


Yazoo's heart burst in his chest.

Why did he do this?

After what the moogle girl did, after what she went through he couldn't help but… bond with her.

Of course all she'll do is cry for Denzel or Tifa or whoever to take her in. Of course it was Tifa and Strife, who else?

Nobody in Midgar was kind enough to extend their arms. Yazoo thought they were selfish cunts at first but finally it made sense to him.

The city almost got destroyed, a virus - created by yours truly - ravaged the entire region and a new threat of a deadly organization was on the rise.

This city's seen better times.

Yazoo swept his soft hair behind his ears, sitting on the top of an apartment building overlooking the city.

What's good about Midgar was that nobody looked up. Maybe it was the meteor all those years ago so they just can't look up.

Good, nobody saw me.

Yazoo caught a glimpse of the little girl running out of Tifa's shop. He stood up tilting his head as he followed her footsteps down the street. He jumped from one building to another keeping up with her.

That was… weird. She wasn't running from anything, yet so desperate.

She entered a building that was caved in and strangely excluded from the hustle and bustle of the city down below.

If I just walk in, she won't pull a gun on me will she?

Tifa would've taught her at least how to wield a gun or a knife, throw a punch or kick, a little innocent girl in the slums wouldn't make it very far.

The man in the alleyway that night really set him off. He had no problem with killing people, he did it all the time but horrible, disgusting wastes of spaces who take advantages of innocent children angered him.

He imagined having a child - he'd be a shitty parent - and just seeing them walk in, changed forever and detached so much, they weren't your child anymore.

'You'd think Mother would look back at me years from now?'

He asked Reno that question once. He knew all too well his answer.

Why would she? All moms are the same, they raise you up and dump you somewhere, yo.

'But I won't dump them… When I have a kid, they'll-"

You want kids? Sephiroth wants kids, yo? This ain't some cheap tactic to get your act together, right?

He never snapped so fast at Reno before. He smacked him in the face.

'I'm not Sephiroth!'

Before Yazoo could register the growing red clad mark on Reno's face he stood up and threw the door open. He just glanced back at Reno, the redhead still standing there in shock.

'Why don't you grow up? It's been a fucking year and you still see me as a monster! I didn't destroy the planet, god damn it!'

He panted, swallowing the lump in his throat.

'I almost did, I don't see you doing anything! I hope your mom comes back and see what you've become!"

Yazoo knew that was a low blow but he was angry, sick and tired of people viewing him as a one-way mirror.

Ever since then he didn't go back. It's been two weeks.

All Yazoo's been doing was sitting on the roof and watching Midgar. Anything better than going back to Reno.

He left his phone at home, he didn't want Shinra tracking him. He just went in sometimes when Reno was off duty and took jobs, coming back, took showers in the building and left.

He was fine without Reno, who was he kidding? He didn't need him, someday somebody would look at him the same way Loz does.

The moogle girl still didn't leave her shack.

The remnant jumped down, taking a deep breath.

Hope she doesn't have a gun.

Bending down to unlock the door, the remnant poked his head through glancing at the walls.

Pictures drawn by a child were pinned up, all in the same style. The girl was in her preteen's and the paper did look ancient…

Was that her brother? The one that died a year ago?

Yazoo only got that from Reno, the fucking imbecile, who rarely brought up victims of Geostigma but when he did it was all to remind Yazoo he was a mistake. All his brothers were mistakes.

God damn it don't get emotional here.

He wasn't going to cry over him. The Turk was stupid, he never cared about his life, all he did when Yazoo was gone was drink away his sorrows.

But what if he got into an accident? What if-

He heard weeping from the bathroom.

The remnant was torn on checking up on her. What if she just pushed him out the door?

He poked his finger through the small opening of the dank bathroom, the smell of unclean walls and floors fogging up under his nose.

The girl was bent over a sink, body shaking as tears ran like rain down her porcelain cheeks. Hair clumped up in the sink, dark chestnut like hers, as a pair of sharp scissors laid in the mess. The grey strewn shirt she had on was ripped and the skirt was cut to pieces.

What the hell?

He knew the girl was damaged, but this?

Suddenly foreign memories came back. None of them his own.

He didn't dare speak, afraid he'd shatter what was left of the sanity in her head. All he did was just stand there, hearing the tiny sobs coming from her mouth, almost feeling the thrumming and drops of tears cascading in the sink.

There were scars littered on her arms, too deep to be a mere accident. There were spots on her legs too, convulsing in her small chest. Was it this bad? Yazoo thought. Did we cause her that much pain?

Yazoo swallowed thickly and reached his hand out touching her head.

Her remaining willpower left to stand up suddenly broke, sending her straight down the edge and into darkness. Hysterical sobs shook her thin frame, clawing from the inside to be heard. She fought to reclaim control of her body, stunned by the cries escaping her throat.

The remnant's lip trembled having to look away so he could face her.

"I'm sorry."

Was all he needed to say as the girl collapsed. The silverette blinked and took a deep breath scooping her trembling lithe body in his arms.

He laid her down on a ripped up couch, laying a blanket over her lower parts so she could have some decency.

Thank Gaia she didn't harm herself.

She cut her hair up to the nape of her neck, cutting the bangs too. Her hair was a mess, her whole life was a mess.

Yazoo felt tempted to cut her hair and snip away the uneven curls. He leaned in forward and touched her forehead, her temperature at an all time high.

"How lonely was she?"

The remnant saw pictures hung up on the walls, dated but preciously preserved pictures. They were all of her family, some of when she was a baby and most of them her brother.

The small boy.

He resembled his sister the most, with his hair and delicate face. He was an infant in one, pink cheeks, a two year old that just learned how to walk, and a five year old running around.

Too bad he didn't live until six.

The parents just faded, any small memory of them was just two pictures of the mother and the father. The mother was all Yazoo ever wanted, kind and the father was what he never had, strict but loved his family.

And then there was the little boy.

He saw a bunch of small kids with the stigma, recalled how utterly pathetic they looked. Most of them were impoverished orphans living in Edge, they died off the quickest. The richer, the tallest ones living in Midgar, the ones that still buried their precious money in a padlocked safe had the resources. They all lived to tell the tale but only through their own eyes. The ones that lived through it, the ones that hoped one day their memories would just fizzle away.

He had to sit back comfortably, tilting his head back as he stared up at the broken ceiling.

You caused a little girl to breakdown. A little girl who should've been having the time of her life with Denzel or Marlene and you had to come and fuck it all up.

What would've happened if the stigma didn't come about? It would've happened either way, the remnants just came out after. It's not like they caused it. They just made it worse.

Yazoo could argue it was Kadaj all along but he was just a puppet. So was Sephiroth, he was just Mother's puppet to toy around with.

From all these bizarre memories in his head, they were all in his eyes but he never experienced it. It might've been a memory to Sephiroth Kadaj was supposed to get but he never did.

With every shit storm the remnants conjured up, it would've made Sephiroth more tolerable. All they did was wreck stuff, at least Sephiroth had a plan.

But we are getting better, right?

It wasn't a surprise Loz was in love with Rude, the mysterious allure enticed him. He wouldn't leave the silent Turk alone. At their first meeting Loz was all but joyful to see him again even if Rude wanted to sock him in the jaw.

But Reno…

Maybe he was right. A little girl went crazy because of him and he didn't snatch up children for nothing.

Maybe I don't deserve a child. I'll just be like Mother anyway.

Yazoo's head snapped up at the sound of the girl letting out a tired groan. He moved on the chair, instincts kicking in to disappear.

No, I can't. I've gotta own up to myself.

He licked his lip nervously and chewed it. His body immediately locked up when the girl poked an eye open.

Disoriented and alone, she just hoped she passed in her sleep and her brother was sitting there. Only all she saw was the long, dreaded, silver hair she prayed never to see again.

"Mm… no…"

She closed blurry eyes and rubbed them again. Again she saw him again.

"Am I in hell…?"

There was a snicker, then a full on laugh. It was rare, even to his own ears.

"No but if you count starving to death in a dirty motel, yes."

The remnant brought his knees up, crossing them nearly with each other. He faced the preteen silently a smile still tugging at his lips.

The girl's delicate hands shook running through her hair. She fell on the ground almost in agony, as if the world fell on top of her. She felt like that one myth where the man had to hold the earth on his shoulders for the rest of eternity.

"My hair-! Why is it so short! Did I cut it that short!"

She desperately called to no one. Her hands clenched the short strands in stress almost ripping them from her scalp.

The remnant winced at the sight. He had dreamy, beautiful, silver hair that flew in the winds and sang songs in the breeze.

Just the thought of somebody touching the treasure on his head and yanking it off irked him to the core.

Maybe it was just instinct but his hands found themselves locked with her wrists pulling them off her head. Her scalp was injured already, scissor marks, purple bruises and all. Of course she fought with him.

She smacked him and tugged her arms, kicking her feet in the air and at his legs.

"Let go of me!"

She yelled and almost immediately the remnant did. She didn't expect him to though.

"Why are you here? I thought you were dead!"

Yazoo's eyes flashed for a second until he realized that only Shinra knew he was alive. All the other people, that woman Cloud talks to, the guy with the gun arm and that annoying little bitch with the Materia had no idea. Not even that boy Yazoo passed by the street that day, with Geostigma.

To the public he was dead. Maybe it's better that way.

The remnant's mind scattered in pieces of that day, the day the Lifestream spat him back out. The same day the stigma was gone, but Gaia played a sick joke.

'After all the shit you pulled on my planet, you really think you belong here? Your brother's will never stay here with the dead. Have fun watching all your friends die.'

Gaia didn't say that but Yazoo liked to think she did.

No, of course she did.

"The Lifestream didn't want me, or my brother. I believe she has a… unique sense of humor."

Yazoo tried to crack a joke, hoping the kid smiled.

"I don't wanna go back in anyway, I only lived a week on Earth."

The kid wasn't staring at him directly, just at his… eyelashes?

"I left my partner and all I got is that chair up there and my gun."

He stood up and brushed the dust off his arms, green slit eyes scanning the room.

Was leaving Reno worth it?

With what he did to him, took advantage of him… Reno was just a player, it didn't matter.

He'd be lying if his heart wasn't aching. They weren't even romantically involved, yet in some distant world he imagined them happily together, married, having a child…

But both of them were scared to be their mothers.

Someday, in that same world Yazoo could just have a serious 'talk' with him, yet all it'll be is just him confessing how much he loved him.

Has Reno ever had somebody tell him that?

"You don't wanna die?"

"No. As much as I hate it here, At least-"

He coughed in his sleeve, his lungs giving out. He took a breath, eyes watering as he regained his senses.

"At least I have my brother."

He wiped his eyes. For some reason his breath was coming out slow and rasped as if something was blocking the way.

"Your brother's alive too? Oh no…"

The girl whimpered. She scooted away from where Yazoo coughed, brown eyes peering into green wet ones.

"My brother's up his partner's ass, he doesn't care about the earth anymore. I don't think he cared in the first place to be honest… neither did I…"

Yazoo had to get up. His breath was coming out rasped, eyes full of stuffy tears as he coughed.

Was he getting sick? Why was he getting sick?

"Our little brother cared, he tried everything to please our Mother… we did too… but everybody hates us anyway, what's the point in fighting them?"

He grasped the kitchen counter.

"If I could go back and destroy Mother's head I would, she's done nothing but destroy us…"

Short, low, rasps of breath as he desperately tried to keep standing. He didn't know it but his hair gradually lost its silver luster, becoming a dull gray.

What the hell is happening to me?

Finally he sat down on a bar stool the girl obviously stole. His body shook and trembled as if the room suddenly dropped to -5 degrees.

"What's your name…?"

Yazoo wiped his eyes. He shuddered but the room only stayed the same.

The preteen picked up a blanket. Low mumbles escaped the thin lips.

"I don't have a name. You can call me whatever you want. Only my brother knew my real name and now he's dead so…"

Yazoo coughed again. Thin, frail, fingers tugged on the blanket, throwing it over his shaking shoulders.

"Anything I want?"

My voice just cracked at the worse time.

The girl didn't really hear him or maybe just not care.

"Mm… um.."

The silverette stared at the girl.

Chocolate cropped locks brushed just on top of her ears and red dark eyes blinked up at him, the torn skirt around her waist ripped from the seams. An old grey tank top balanced on her shoulders, bandages wrapped around her chest to keep her pert breasts in place.

A thousand names popped in his head, only one just stuck out and gnawed at his brain.

"Abby. Abby Williams, you know The Crucible?"