Long chapter coming up!
Edward
"So Dr. Clearwater, you are telling me that I'm in such turmoil because when I was married, I thought I hated my wife but I never did… it was just my mind trying to give my body excuses and validations to cheat?"
"Edward I told you, call me Seth. Anyway, it's fairly common. After men divorce their wives the feelings of false hate dissipate because there's no longer an excuse needed to justify cheating. Then the guilt and realization of love sets in again and turns into a sort of depression."
"So what do I do?"
"I suggest we talk through this. I'll try to help you understand what's going on and you apply our lessons to your everyday life. I won't prescribe you any medication because I don't think your depression is that severe. I suggest getting back to your life if you can."
"Okay."
Well… that was a strange session. I tricked myself into thinking I hated Bella so that I wouldn't feel bad about cheating but now that façade has faded. I wish I hadn't wanted to cheat so badly then I wouldn't have thought, or acted like I hated her. I wouldn't have acted like I couldn't stand her.
I can remember defending Bella to Tanya but I remember always thinking about how bad things were between us. In reality things weren't that bad with me and Bella. They were good…until I turned them sour because of my need to have a piece of eye candy on my arm.
It was Edward's company's annual fundraising banquet. He didn't really want to go, at least not with the date he had, but he couldn't take Tanya. It was too risky considering the fact that press would be there.
Bella sat in the car silently beside him. He looked over to her and she gave him a smile. He could tell that she was excited to be going. That was possibly another reason he couldn't take Tanya.
They arrived at the venue after a short ride. They got out and the valet boy took the keys to park the car. Edward offered his arm to Bella. He had to admit that she actually looked decent tonight. It was better than the jeans and t shirts she's usually in, at least.
As soon as they walked through the door a photographer took a picture of them and the hostess made sure they were on the list. Once it was confirmed they were shown to their table.
"Its decorated nicely." said Bella.
"Yeah, it is."
"I wonder what's on the menu?"
"Chicken."
"Oh…"
"Bella? Don't embarrass me tonight. Okay?" he whispered
"Embarrass you?"she whispered back, hurt surrounding her words.
"It's just that…there are…you know what, nevermind."
He could tell he'd hurt her feelings. She wasn't looking at him. She never did when she was wounded. They made it to the table and sat down. She greeted their dining companions but said nothing else. He wasn't particularly happy that he'd sullied her mood but the less she talked the better.
Tanya walked past, greeting everyone at the table including him. He decided against introducing Tanya and Bella because he knew his wife would figure something out with the way he'd be starting down his lover like a hog looking at slop.
I went home and Bella was trimming the tree with Nessie.
"Daddy! Come trim the tree with us! Please?"
"Yeah Edward. Join in on the fun."
That's one of the reasons I can tell Bella is over me. She can stand the sight of me. She's even friendly towards me. I like the fact that I still get to be around her but it hurts sometimes, especially the day she had that dinner party and that Garrett fellow came.
Going to the dinner party seemed like a logical thing to do. It was Edward's house too, after all and food was all up his alley. Nessie was spending the night with Jessica for a sleepover with her kids. She was sure to be tired, yet hopped up on sugar when she returned the next day.
Bella was wearing a sexy, red, skintight dress with a low back. He'd never seen her in something so hot but he wasn't exactly complaining now. Even if she was getting all dressed up for her boyfriend. She'd briefed him earlier on the guests and explained to Edward that her new "thing" Garrett would be attending. He wasn't thrilled, in fact he wanted to go through her phone, find the guy's number and uninvite him. The prick!
The food smelled awesome and every chair and plate was in place along with the food. Bella always was a good cook.
"Looks like a masterpiece."
"Thanks."
"Anything I can do?"
"Well, Jasper and Alice have bought miniature watermelons for everybody for dessert and they said they'd be outside in a few seconds so you could help with that and just…answer the door."
"Great. I'll be right on it."
As if on cue, Jasper and Alice arrived. He greeted his sister and best friend. Even though he'd pushed Jasper away he knew he could still depend on him. He helped him get the melons out while his sister went right in and made her way to the kitchen. After that he greeted a slew of people. Rosalie, that "Garrett" fellow, Angela and her husband and even Aro and his wife! He suddenly felt out of place but decided not to let it show. It couldn't be that bad. After all, he still had Jasper and Alice to talk to.
Once everyone was settled in, the feast and toasting began. Everybody seemed happy. It was almost surreal. Seeing Bella flirting and laughing with that Garrett fellow was completely sickening. He remembered briefly when they used to be that happy but those times were in short supply. Mostly their relationship had been intensely serious and emotional.
The party went as planned. He found that he could stop moping for at least a few hours to enjoy food and a few laughs. At least for a short time he forgot that he was going through the stormiest period in his life.
Bella
I invited Edward to trim the tree with us. He never has before. Usually, it's something only Nessie and I do. I used to try and get him to chip in but he never wanted to. I'm glad he does now though because Nessie is over the moon.
She's been wild ever since I told her we were putting up the tree earlier today. I can just imagine how she will act once she sees presents under it. I've even been working on that. Buying a few toys here, a few outfits there… Everything I have is at Garrett's place. My only issue will be wrapping it. That's something I always procrastinate about. Wrapping presents. Mostly because I'm accident prone so I'm always cutting myself with wrapping paper, scissors, and tape dispensers. I'm just not ready for the bloodshed.
After getting most of the decorations up I asked Nessie to make something special to go on top of the tree. She raced upstairs to her room to make only heaven knows what kind of topper.
"So, how'd your appointment go?" I asked, curious about what Dr. Seth had to say.
"Good. I um, learned something about myself. Something I didn't know but I'm glad I do."
"Oh, well that's good. You seem in better spirits."
"Not really but…whatever."
"So, I talked to your dad today."
"You did?"
"Yeah… he's coming down next week and staying here until after the holiday."
"Not at Alice's?"
"Well, Alice doesn't have room now that she's had to expand her studio to two rooms."
"Jasper should buy her a bigger house."
"It's not a big deal. It's not like they have kids or anything."
"Yeah, I guess. Talk to that Garrett fellow today?"
"Yeah, we are taking Nessie ice skating later on. Um, you're welcome to come along if you'd like."
"No. I think I just want to do some shopping. Have you gotten her that playhouse she wanted?"
"You mean the little $2,000 cottage she asked for? No… I haven't gotten that. Don't tell me you're giving in?"
"I had a tree house when I was a kid. It's only right she get a playhouse."
"Who will put it together?"
"I will…or I'll call someone."'
"How will you hide it?"
"Bella, it's nearly winter so Nessie won't be outside. Plus I'll… put construction plastic around my building site."
"Well Edward, good luck with that."
I have to admit that it's brave of him to at least try to put together a playhouse that big. It's big enough for us to live in practically but if he thinks she just has to have it, I won't argue with him. Plus, I'm sure she would love a little outside oasis and a place to camp out.
Edward went back upstairs and like a chain reaction, my phone buzzed.
"Hello?"
"Have you been naughty or nice?"
"Well, that depends on who you ask. Hi."
"Hi. What you doing?"
"Trimming the tree. Waiting for Nessie to bring the topper."
"Send me a picture when it's done."
"A picture wouldn't do it justice. You'll have to see it yourself when you come over."
"Fine. I was just calling to see what size skates you'll need. I'm reserving us some boots."
"Oh well… a child's 11 and a women's 8."
"Gotcha. See you later. Dress warm."
"We will. Bye."
"Bye."
Things are going well with me and Garrett. Really well. To make matters better Nessie likes him too. She took a while to warm up to him and seeing me with someone other than Edward threw her for a loop at first but now she likes him and she's given me her approval to date him.
I went upstairs to check on her to see what was taking so long with the tree topper. Edward was in her room too. I could see that she'd started on the topper but now they were playing Barbies.
"No Ken, you either rob that bank or I'll kill your precious little daughter." Said Nessie. "I have hungry bears just looking for a meal."
"No! Don't kill my daughter. I'll rob the bank." said Edward, making his Ken doll feign a cry.
"Good. Take this paper gun, go to the corner of first and height and wait for my call on this paper cell phone."
"Okay… Can I talk to my daughter at least?"
"Do what you're told and then you can talk to her."
I didn't want to break them up. Nessie seemed to be having fun. I can tell that she's definitely watching way too many crime shows though.
Her sometimes violent thoughts and words worried me at first so I had her talk to a child therapist. I thought maybe the divorce had made her that angry but the therapist said she didn't seem to get the violent streak from the effects of the divorce. That only made her slightly nervous and a bit distrustful of Edward and me. I think she's getting over that now though.
Edward
Playing Barbies with my daughter was fun, well, as fun as it could be. She's got a very vivid imagination. In many ways she reminds me of the way Alice used to act as a child. The only difference is that Nessie doesn't have violent actions and Alice did… I have the scars to prove it.
After getting up off the floor I had a good stretch and thanked Nessie for the wonderful bank robbery and kidnapping sketch she so skillfully came up with. She gave me her mother's smile and then hugged me before running downstairs with the tree topper she'd been working on before the Barbie drama.
I went to my room to change into something more relaxed. It was Saturday and I had on a button down shirt. A cotton t-shirt and hoodie would do the trick. I felt better after I changed.
When I was going back downstairs my phone buzzed. I looked and it was a message from Tanya. Yes, I still get them. Every day, sometimes more than once a day depending on how she's feeling, I guess. Today it read "Ready to die?"
She still hasn't acted on any of these threats so I still don't feel the need to contact the police. She also hasn't vandalized my car since a few months ago and I don't think she's followed me either. Mostly, I've forgotten about her until I read those texts and I'm reminded of my selfishness. She didn't deserve what I did to her. Yes, she knew I was married but I still took advantage of her. I filled her head with promises I knew I wouldn't keep. I think my guilt is also part of the reason I don't want the police involved. If hateful texts are her therapy for getting over me and healing the heart that I broke then she can send as many as she'd like. She isn't saying anything I haven't thought when I look in the mirror every morning.
"Bye Daddy! We'll take pictures and bring you back a treat!"
"I'll hold you to that baby. Have fun."
I bid them goodbye as they were walking out the door. When I saw Garrett's car disappear from the driveway I decided I was going to leave too. No time like the present to get presents. I'm behind anyway.
I went up the stairs to get my shoes. I noticed there was something off about the hallway. The door was open to one of the guest bedrooms. They are never open, Bella hates open doors if the rooms aren't occupied. I went and closed the door. Nothing seemed weird in the room. I figured Nessie went in a room for some reason earlier. My phone buzzed. It was Tanya again. "I said, are you ready to die Edward?"
Before I could respond something sharp was stabbing into my side and I was on ground. Tanya stood over me looking disheveled and dirty. I pulled the knife out and she charged at me, knocking it out of my hands. I tried restraining her but it didn't work so I had to fight her. I've never had to fight before, at least not since childhood, but I know that a woman shouldn't hit as hard as she does.
"I loved you and you just threw me away!"
"I'm sorry!"
"You won't be sorry until you're dead!"
We fought until we made it to the top of the stairs. I elbowed her and she fell to the ground, temporarily knocked out. I started down the stairs. My side was bleeding, baldy. It was painful and I felt myself getting weak. While I was walking I slipped on the slippery wooden stairs. I should have listened to and gotten carpet on them.
My trip down the stairs was painful. I hit my head a few times, hard enough for me to bleed but not hard enough to knock me out and to make matters worse I landed on my arm. I knew it was broken by just the way it felt.
I tried getting up but things were looking blurry. I kept trying to make it to the phone, which was on a table by the stairs but it seemed a million miles away. My cell phone was nowhere to be found either. I heard Tanya's footsteps coming down the stairs and I tried again to get up. I made it to the table but collapsed on it, knocking the phone down, and away from me.
"See Edward, even fate wants me to kill you right now."
"Tanya, we can talk about this."
"No, we can't. You fucked me for two years and I loved you! Then you just ended it and fired me. I have nothing now. I live out of my car and have sex for money Edward. You did this to me and now I'm stabbing you in the heart the way you stabbed me in the back."
I managed to stop her hand before she plunged the knife into my chest. She jerked away causing me to flip over and slide across the floor. She kicked me a few times before stooping down to stab me again.
The door suddenly opened. I could see the outline of the person. Bella, it was Bella. I found myself falling into the darkness that had been inviting me for what seems like ions.
Bella
I'd forgotten Nessie's gloves so we'd turned around so I could get them. However, the sight that I saw when I opened the door was shocking. Tanya was standing over Edward's bloody body holding a knife and looking disheveled. She was definitely off her rockers. The only things I could think about were ways to kill her and if Edward was dead.
"Tanya…"
"Good, I get to kill you too. Two for the price of one."
She charged at me and thinking quickly I grabbed the baseball we kept in the umbrella hamper. I whacked her once in the head, as hard as I could and she fell down. Sliding a few inches when she hit the ground. Blood was pouring from her head. Blood, there was too much of it. I picked up the phone and called the police.
"911, what's your emergency."
"Yes… A woman was in my house. She stabbed my ex husband and I… I think I killed her."
They asked for my information and requested I stay on the line. I started checking on Edward. He was hardly breathing but he had a pulse. I grabbed onto his bloody hand.
"Edward please don't die on me. Nessie needs you. Please, don't do this. Just hold on… okay? Hold on!"
"Ahhhh! Mommy what's wrong with daddy?"
"Get her away from here!"
"Daddy! Daddy!"
Garrett and Nessie were standing in the doorway looking shocked. Nessie started running my way but thankfully Garrett grabbed her and carried her out of view, even though she was fighting against him. I heard her screaming and crying. I coulnd't blame her. I was screaming and crying.
"Edward please, hold on. Just hold on… please?"
Hope you all enjoyed this lengthy chapter! Let me know your thoughts.
