Author's Note posted below.

Chapter 11

Lost

CHRISTIAN

I've been staring at the screen for five minutes already yet Ana still hasn't replied to my I love you.

Would I be delusional if I say that I know she loves me too? She won't bake a cake for me if she doesn't, right? The way she pressed her lips to mine indicates that inside of her, there's a part of me. I know that it's all too fast but you can't deny reality.

Why is she still denying me though?

Is she afraid that this is all just a pretending? If she knew me from the start then she would know that I have never given a damn about any girl before her. All those acts of grand romance were all just for her and if he rejects me still then no girl would ever experience those. And there won't be anybody else after her.

"You look like someone died, Uncle."

Suddenly I am back to this place where I have to persuade Matt to come back to Washington. He looks completely different with his Mohawk hair and ripped shirt and jeans. He's also been playing with his drumsticks on tune with what he's saying. He pierced his nose and he's wearing black lipstick! He looks like he's dying!

"You're the one who's dying, Matt." I rebut.

He rolls his eyes and exclaims, "Uncle! Just leave me be, okay? I want to find myself and this band could help me. We are going to be famous! We are going to be bigger than Green Day. I swear if I become famous I won't forget you."

"I am already famous, Matt so I won't care if you'll be famous."

"Uncle! Please listen to me. For the first time in my life, I felt like people really gave attention. Bok Ji has been a great girlfriend and we've travelled New York together. Come on! Uncle!"

I am laughing at him now, "You have a girlfriend yet you're whining like a child!"

"I am serious, Uncle."

"Well, okay then. You'd like me to see you in a K-Pop band then go ahead!"

"It's not a K-Pop band! Just because they're all Koreans doesn't mean it's a K-Pop band! We are a rock band and we've performed in many bars here and so far I am still happy. Do you see?"

That's when I sat right next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. There's no way in hell that this teenager is happy. He looks like he's been attending a funeral—his own funeral. What did this boy ever do to make Elliott hate him that much? I know that we've had a rough history in our teenage years and what came before this boy was total chaos, but Matt doesn't deserve all of these.

"Matt, look me in the eye and tell me you are happy."

"I am happy," he stops playing with his drumsticks but he's still not looking at me.

"Matt, look me in the eye . . ." My voice was already threatening him.

He looked at me in the eye and tears fell down. His eyes were red and his eyeliner got smudged and see, even his tears were black! He looks like shit and right now it makes me want to kill Elliott.

"No one gives a fuck about me!"

My heart tugs but I prove to him, "I give a fuck about you, Matt. Wouldn't be here if I don't."

The little boy sat across my lap and bawled out all his frustrations. The last time he did this was when he was eight years old. I hated myself upon remembering that. I practically promised that his father will change his mind about him and that they'll be happy. Five years later and Elliott still pretends that he doesn't exist. He was crying like a big baby and all I can do is watch him with a sympathetic sigh.

"Come home, Matt. Come home."

"Yes, Uncle. I'll come home." If he's gonna be part of a band then he can do that in the future. Today's not the right time.

Then we sat there in silent.

He broke it by randomly muttering, "You have everything, Uncle. You have everything. I want to be like you. I want to have everything!"

I thought of Ana and I said, "Matt, I don't have everything."

I have her but I don't have her fully. I only get a partial of everything.

ooOoo

"You are crazy! Why did you click backspace if you know that you love him? Come on! Ana, it's the twentieth century. It's not like guys are still going to woo you like a fair maiden! We ladies have to get what we want at some point." There goes Kate being practical again.

"I am still not ready, Kate. Something inside me remains to hinder."

"That's weird because if I were you then I would've said yes, I love you too and we will live happily ever after!"

"You're being crazy!"

We hook arms while walking home. She just fetched me from work and I know it's because she's frustrated about her very recent breakup with Elliott, but she claims that it's about getting exercise since she wants to burn carbs. I am not stupid to believe that someone wants to exercise at eight in the evening.

"Well, what you have to think is that he's the guy who doesn't lie to you! He's the guy who doesn't have a son he denies and that he's a guy who would feel guilty when he instantly knew that you were gullible."

"Are we still talking about me? Or are we talking about you?"

She flips her hair and says, "We are talking about . . . me. A strong woman talks about the things that bother her. I am a dauntless female specie so yes, I am talking about myself! In fact, I have obtained amnesia yesterday and I don't know a person named Elliott Grey."

I laugh at her silliness. She acts so childish. "Kate, you really are crazy."

She rolls her eyes and changes the topic, "Hey! Didn't you say that you met Grace? What's she like? Elliott told me a lot about her and they're all negative stuffs. Is she really an icy bitch?"

"No, of course not! She's very kind and motherly!" Why does it feel like we're talking about two completely different persons? Why does Christian deem her as a saint while Elliott deem her as devil? But if it were up to me, based on what I witnessed then Grace has a big heart.

I am supposed to elaborate but I see a man just a few meters away from us. He's wearing black leather jacket and ripped jeans. His dirty blonde hair is pulled up in a man-bun and he has a cigarette hanging from his mouth. He looks like he's in distressed and despite the bad boy appearance, there is the Grey aura in him.

This is Elliott.

"Shit! Mayday! Mayday! Let's go, Ana!" Kate grabs me by my arm and we turn back to run. I want her to stop since this is not the strong woman she describes. She keeps on running though. Elliott, on the other hand, catches up to our pace since he's riding on a monster motorcycle.

"Kate, let's talk! Come on, baby, let's talk!"

My best friend covers both of her ears and heads back to the other direction. We keep going back and forth until I feel completely dizzy about their drama.

"Come on, Ana, let's go." Kate says and I notice Elliott's facial expression darken.

"Ana? You are that Ana? Who the fuck told you that you had the fucking right to tell a lie about me?"

I am shocked. He just raised his voice. "Uhm . . . it's not a lie."

"Do you realize what you've done?!" He raised his voice even higher and that's when Kate stood up strong before him, protectively hiding me from her slim figure.

"Elliott, we're done. We're already done."

"No, we're not." For some reason, his voice quivered.

Kate shook her head and said, "You lost me, Elliott. You lost me."

She pulled me again and this time Elliott didn't chase us. He leaned to his motorcycle as if he couldn't support his stance without it—as if he would have lost his balance.

I look at the two of them and guilt punched me.

They looked lost.

A/N: So we kind of have a side couple right here.

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