Sorry for the late UD, I broke my computer :(
Fixed it now though:)
Anyway…LAST CHAPTER :D
Thankyou for everyone who voted:) I had some votes inboxed to me also.
Hope you all enjoy it.
Rachel just kept driving. Past the Dairy Queen, past her favorite flower shop. Just driving. A mix of fear and excitement ran through Rachel's body as thoughts flashed into her mind. 'I bet that if you told them it was only him that you want to be with then I'm sure he will forgive you.'
How could this happen? How did one simple plan spiral into this chaotic mess? Just one plan. One plan got her into so much trouble. How? Surely she must of thought about this before? How did she answer these seemingly impossible questions, because she can't find the right one? Though it doesn't really matter what her answers were. They weren't going to turn back time. They weren't going to make them all talk to her again. Were they? No. And even if she did want to find the answer, Rachel probably wouldn't like it. It wasn't her plan of trying to be friends with them all first that caused all this anyway. It was further back. Before them finding the list. Before any plan came into her mind. Before destiny and it's participation in her twisted love triangle. If you can call it that. It was when she did the RJR video. But was letting destiny take over the best way to choose between them? Was it? Does it really matter though? But there's something that Rachel still can't seem to get her mind around. The method. Was her method of choosing between them really necessary? Was it right to let some invisible force choose for her? Was it fair? Fair on them?
Theres no point thinking about it. Thinking about the past. As her fathers had reminded her since she was young: 'Yesterdays history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift.' Live with your actions. That's what she needs to do. Like she has to live with peoples hate. They hate her because of her. Her personality. Her taste of clothes. That's not going to change Rachel. They hate her flaws, but it's the flaws that makes Rachel, Rachel.
Maybe Rachel, instead of trying to decide which boy she wants back and hopefully become her boyfriend, should just concentrate on what's really important. Her education. Sounds boring but its true. Her education is top priority. Maybe instead of worrying which boy she wants, she should be thinking about doing some revision. Tests are coming soon. Maybe having a boyfriend right now might slow her down? Maybe she doesn't really need one right now. What Rachel needs is a friend. Not a boyfriend. Just a friend. Rachel doesn't really have any friends when she thinks about it. Not true friends. Not friends that if you were in a life threatening situation, you could always depend on to get you out. She didn't have that type of friend. She's had boyfriends. But Rachel's been messed about by boys that maybe instead of finding Mr Right, she should find a true friend. Mr Right can come find her. She's been dreaming of him and searching for him since the age of 7. Rachel should take a break and let him find her.
People did hate her less when she had a boyfriend on her arm, when she proved that she could get a hot boy to date her. That she could get anyone to date her and not Jacob Ben Israel. Urghh. So maybe…
But Rachel never got to know how that sentence finished in her mind and her head suddenly filled with thoughts of the boy she had chosen, many nights before, because, subconsciously, she had drove all the way and was now outside his house. Rachel was taken back from how beautiful the house looked from the outside. The long twisted grey driveway connected from two into one as it made its way towards the street, with two islands of grass that ran along side it. The cream colored front door was nearly fully covered by the low wooden porch. The bricks, which Rachel began to notice as she stepped closer and closer towards the wooden door, were painted in white, with the tiniest hint of yellow. Rachel closed her eyelids as she took a deep breath in. "This is it." she muttered to herself. Rachel opened her eyes, exhaling, while watching her finger as it slowly makes it way towards the golden doorbell. Slowly she watched her index finger as it gradually got closer towards the bell, until it had come as near as it possibly could. Then, without even thinking, she had pressed the button.
'No turning back now.' Rachel thought as she straightened herself. Brushing down her skirt. Rachel had always been expecting this day. She had been prepared for it, ever since she opened her eyes revealing his name, which her finger was pointing to. Though she had never anticipated that he and the others had found the pro and con's list nor that they would stop talking to her completely. No. But this part. Her going up to him, telling him that it's him she wants to be with. The only plan that had gone to plan. This part Rachel Berry had planned.
'This is really it.' Rachel thought as she turned her attentions from the doorbell to the door in front of her, which was opening.
"Hello?" a middle aged woman asked as she appeared from the door. "Can I help you?"
Her chestnut brown hair, which covered parts of her pale white skin, seemed to be dull and flat. Lifeless. Her pink knitted sweater was something even Rachel wouldn't wear. This woman clearly looked like a mother of a 16 year old son by Rachel's guessing. Though she had never seen his mum before.
"Yes." Rachel quickly replied as she focused back on what the woman was saying rather than what she was wearing. "Is your son in? I need to speak to him."
"Would you like to come in?" she asked completely ignoring Rachel's question.
"Thank you." Rachel flashed a smile as she entered the household.
"Sit here and I'll get him for you." the woman told Rachel as she signaled her to sit in the living room on the coach.
"Ok." Rachel, yet again, curved the two corners of her mouth upwards at her.
"Who shall I say is here for him?"
"Rac-" Rachel stopped abruptly. He wouldn't come down if he knows it her wanting to talk to him. He would just have an excuse like he's too busy to talk or he's doing homework. "Just say a friend from school."
Rachel waited patiently as his mother went upstairs to fetch him.
"Here he is." his mother called several minutes later.
When Rachel thought of how she was to admit, to the boy she let destiny choose, that it's him she wants to be with. She always imagined she would speak to him privately and it would be in a secluded place. Rather than having to confess with the other two behind him. Just standing there.
"Sorry his friends are over." his mother began as she started feeling the awkward tension between the four teens. "Would you like to speak to him privately or…" her voices trailed off near the end of her sentence.
"Alon-" Rachel thought about it. She's been trying to talk to him privately since she chose him. And where did that leave her? She tried talking to him privately in maths the day after choosing him but couldn't because of the other two. And what did she do after she couldn't talk to him alone? She came up with that awful plan of becoming their friend again. Trying to talk to him privately just ended up bad for Rachel. Maybe it was a sign for her to stop trying to talk to him alone and just do it out in the open. She would hurt the others feelings but they would find out about it later on. It just shortens the time this way. Plus it would come from her and not just over hearing about it from some gossipers. Yes. That's what she needs to do. Just tell him now and this time she will tell him in person, to his face, that it was him she chose and that it is him she wants to be with.
"It's fine. I can talk to him like this." Rachel informed the woman as she slightly nodded and left the room through the doors that she can earlier emerged from.
Awkward silence is what followed after. Just like when she had entered her bedroom, before they started showing their emotions on the list. Even their facial expressions were the same as that night. Eyebrows raised eyes squinted, pure disgust in their eyes, with a hint of shock.
"Why are you here?" Finn was the first to break the silence that lingered over them like mist.
"Yeah." Puck followed.
"Look, I know I made a huge mistake." Rachel began as she looked at each one of them with pure sincerity in her eyes and voice. "I apologize to all of you. I know I'm probably the last person you want to speak to but I need to speak to you." Rachel brown eyes landed on him. The boy she had let destiny choose. Destiny's boy. "I know I messed all of you about, led you on but." Rachel started to make her way towards him. "I need to tell you something that has been going around in my head for quite some time now." Rachel couldn't take the intensity that surrounded the room. She didn't want to pause incase, she isn't able to continue. The other two were still listening as if she was talking to them instead of him.
"When you were in my room, when you found the pro and con list, you wanted to know who I chose. All of you did. I know that I didn't answer you and you seemed pretty annoyed about it. Though who could blame you? I mean you must of felt betrayed that someone you cared about and trusted would do something like- this isn't helping. You see, and I'm not trying to make an excuse, I wanted a boyfriend. I didn't know who to choose between you guys. I care too much about all of you and I know doing a pro and con list, weighing the good and bad points of you, wasn't the best idea I have had but there was no other way at the time. I didn't use the list at the end because I realized that even though all of you have flaws, I don't care about them because it's the flaws that make you, you. So I chose with my eyes closed. I know it sounds awful but you have to understand that I was desperate and confused." Rachel was near breaking point, tears ready to roll. "If I could go back I would, but I can't. Look I never gave you an answer but I think you deserve one now. You wanted to know who I chose and I will tell that person. It's the least I can give you."
All three started to get what Rachel was going on about now, after her speech. Why she was there. They got it. They understood and they listened intently as she continued to talk.
'This is it.' Rachel thought to herself.
"I chose you."
There it was. Out in the open. Floating around the air and for once, Rachel didn't feel like she wanted to quickly shove them back into her mouth. She had said it. She had finally admitted to him that it was him she chose. There was no turning back. Not that Rachel would want to turn back. She finally lifted the heavy weight, which was the truth, off her back. Finally. She was free. Though Rachel felt relieved, she couldn't tell how the others felt. Were they relieved too? Finally finding out who she chose. Were they annoyed because it took that long for her to say it? Rachel didn't know. Their faces were unreadable. Emotionless. Completely blank. The only person who was showing any kind of emotion was Rachel. Her smile had turned into a worried facial expression when she saw the others. She noticed how they completely stood still. How they were staring at her.
The room had gone dead silent. The boy's wide eyes that stared at her. Rachel hated it. She hated how silent it had gone. How the boys did nothing but look at her. She thought that at any minute they would burst out laughing and humiliate her, even if it was in private. Or they would just walk away from her. That would be as equally bad. He could say no and reject Rachel right there, right then and then there would be no chance of getting back one of the other two, seen as she said, in front of them, that she wanted him and not the others. Or- the possibilities were endless in Rachel's head. That what made her feel sick. What made her stomach ache, from the enormous butterflies, fluttering around, and the waiting. Waiting for his or anyone's reaction.
"Huh?"
That was what he had said. That was his reaction to Rachel's statement. To Rachel pouring her heart out. Though all the possibilities that streamed into her head, "Huh?" wasn't one of them. Laughing or angriness but not confusion. Not "Huh?"
'Maybe he didn't understand.' Rachel thought. 'Maybe he just needs me to repeat it. Oh Rachel why are you not talking? Tell him. Tell him. TELL HIM.'
"It's always been you Noah."
R-r-review:) Good, bad? Yay finished:) Sorry Finchel & St Berry fans :( But I've already made a Finchel story so check it out. Also I'll be making a St Berry one at a later date.
