"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! Wendy tried to comfort me but I told her to talk to the hand and I ran to my room crying myself. Chef chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of sparkles. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Britney Spears song at full volume. I grabbed a lighter and almost lit it on my skin to commit suicide. I was like so totally depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a pink low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on pink high heels with blue lace stuff on the ends and six pairs of heart earrings. I couldn't believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Garrison was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Stuart was masticating to it! They were sitting on Wal-Mart scooters.

"EW, YOU GROSS PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU LIKE PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a pink towel with a picture of Hillary Duff on it. Suddenly Fairy ran in.

"I'm telling my mom!" he yelled at Garrison and Stuart pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Garrison and Stuart a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Chef ran in.

"Blondie, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Garrison and Stuart and then he waved his spatula and suddenly…

Randy ran outside waving his hands around and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Randy? You're just a stupid Geologist!"

"I MAY BE A GEOLOGIST…." Randy paused happily. "BUT I AM ALSO A CHRISTIAN!"

"This cannot be." Garrison said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Chef's spatula had hit him.

"There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.

Stuart held up the camera triumelephantly.

"The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough glitter.

"Why are you doing this?" Stuart said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his shit.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to raid the art room and drink some glitter because I felt faint.

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Randy said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his beer in the air. Then he swooped in and started singing to the tune of a pop version of a song by (insert band here).

"Because you're preppy?" Garrison asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraid it meant he was connected with Jesus.

"Because I LOVE HER!"