Ricky finally left after nearly an hour at the house. Anne and Ashley were due home any minute, and Amy was still trying to recover from his visit. Jordan still slept peacefully in her cradle as Amy cleaned up the lunch she had abandoned and had no intention of returning to. After she finished, she lied down on the couch and tried to shut her eyes while she had the chance.
"I want to do something tomorrow." He said as he followed her out into the foyer.
"By that you mean…?" She asked and sighed.
"Do you and Jordan want to go to park with me tomorrow?" He asked with that smooth, cocky smirk that made girls go crazy. Amy looked uncertain as she bit her lip. "Come on, Amy."
Sighing, she slowly nodded still unsure. "Eleven?"
"Yeah, that's good." She opened the door for her and gave him a soft smile.
"Goodbye, Ricky."
"See you later." He strolled off with the best cocky stride he could muster up. She watched him walk down the driveway to his car before walking back into the house.
What had she done? This could ruin them. Ricky Underwood didn't do this. He didn't spend his Sunday walking with a girl like her in the park with her daughter… their daughter. It just wasn't him. If he rejected his daughter, if he walked away from her, what would she do then?
Her thoughts were broken when the front door opened and Anne and Ashley walked in talking among themselves. Sitting up, she waited until they appeared in the doorway.
"Hey." They greeted.
"Hey, how was the dentist?" She asked.
"Whatever." Ashley shrugged and proceeded into the kitchen. Standing, Amy followed and sat down at the table while Ashley got herself a drink and Anne busied herself with dinner.
"Ricky came by." She said after a few minutes. They both stopped and looked at her.
"And…?" Ashley probed.
"I let him hold her." She admitted quietly. "And agreed to… try. And I'm going to the park with him tomorrow."
"Ah… How do you feel about all this?" Anne asked.
Groaning inwardly, she laid her head on the table. "I don't know."
--
The next day, she woke up to the sound of Jordan's whimpers at eight. She got up, changed her, went downstairs, and gave her a bottle. At eight forty-five, Anne came downstairs.
"Good morning."
"Morning." Amy returned.
"When are you going to the park?"
"Eleven."
"Are you sure this is what you want?"
"No… I don't know what I want. And while part of me thinks I'm stupid for even thinking that maybe he could love her, I still can't help but feel that if I don't go through with it, I'll be wondering 'what if.'"
"I understand, Amy. Just be careful."
"I will… I'm going to take a shower, can you watch her?"
"Yeah, sure."
Amy thanked her before handing the baby over and disappearing up the stairs. She took a long shower letting the warm water roll over her body. Finally when Ashley came beating on the door, she was forced to get out and wrap herself in the warmth of her yellow fuzzy towel. Ashley was impatiently waiting outside the door when she came out. Mumbling a 'good morning,' she continued to her room. She looked through her clothes until she found a pair of jeans and a crème colored camisole and a blue top for on top. After getting dressed, she quickly blow-dried her hair and straightened it. At ten-thirty, she was finished getting ready and headed back downstairs. Jordan was bouncing around in her bouncing chair giggling as Ashley made faces at her.
"Hey, Baby-girl." Amy cooed and kissed her head. "Hey, Ash."
"Hey." Ashley replied without stopping playing with the baby. Smiling, Amy walked into the kitchen finding her mother drinking coffee while reading the paper.
"Hey, Mom."
"When are you leaving?"
"Soon." She answered getting herself some tea. "I'm nervous." She admitted.
"I'd expect you to be. But don't worry. It'll be okay."
Amy nodded and sat down at the table with her mom. Ashley soon walked in carrying the baby just as Amy finished her tea, so she took her upstairs to get her changed. After changing her diaper, she changed her into a pair of black paints and a fuzzy pink sweater then began getting the diaper bag ready.
"I'm going." She announced as she bounced down the steps with Jordan on her hip and the baby bag over her shoulder. Anne quickly appeared. "Wish me luck?"
"It'll be fine." She promised.
"I'll be back in a little bit." She waved before disappearing outside.
--
Ricky hadn't gotten there by the time they arrived, so Amy sat down on the bench with Jordan in her lap. After ten minutes passed, she started getting worried that he wouldn't show. Possibilities overwhelmed her thoughts as she looked around. Was he backing out? Did he really not care? It wouldn't be the first time she hoped he would at least express an interest, and he failed to do that unless it helped him get in someone's pants, of course. At 11:15, she was almost ready to give up when she noticed him quickly walking up the path. When he noticed her gaze though, he slowed his pace and put a smirk on his face. Standing up, she moved Jordan to her him.
"Sorry, I'm late." He quickly said before she could accuse him of anything. She wasn't all that interested in his excuses, so she just nodded. "Ah, you want to go for a walk?" He asked unsure what else to say.
"Yeah, sure." She said slightly defeated as she wasn't in much mood to act resistant towards his attempts. He was here and that was a step in the right direction. She picked up the baby bag and put it over her shoulder. He moved to offer assistance, but she silently told him otherwise. They began walking in an awkward silence, and she could tell that he searched for words to say.
Finally, he sighed giving up on his quest and looked over at her. "I don't know what to say." He admitted slightly sheepishly.
She ran her hand through her hair and glanced down at Jordan who seemed content watching the scenery and people go by. "I, honestly, don't know either."
They were quiet again for a few moments. "What does she like to do the most?"
Amy smiled at him letting a small giggle escape her lips. He was trying and for whatever reason even the random question seemed to fit perfectly. "You mean other than sleep?"
He chuckled. "Yeah."
"She has this little bouncy chair thing. It blue and has fish all over it. She loves to play with in that."
He smiled fondly as silence fell again. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched his facial expression. She could tell he was thinking. About what she wasn't sure but she didn't press for conversation.
When the playground came into view, she looked down at Jordan who looked excited.
"She, also, loves to swing." She informed him.
He smiled at her and allowed her to lead him towards the swing set that sat just on top of a hill. She sat her down in the baby swing carefully and buckled her up. Jordan giggled loudly clapping her hands together, and from the corner of her eye, she could see Ricky smiling at his daughter.
"Do you want to push her?" She asked settling into an abandoned swing right beside Jordan's.
"Yeah, sure." He walked behind the baby and gave her a light push. He looked at her nervously to make sure he didn't push too hard, and she gave him an encouraging nod. They didn't talk as they watched the baby happily swing. After about ten minutes, Jordan grew restless and held her hands up at Ricky. Another nervous look was sent Amy's way, but she didn't move to get up off the swing to get Jordan out. Ricky was trying and if Jordan was okay with being held by him, then he deserves a chance. He carefully unbuckled her and slid her out of the swing. He settled her on his hip allowing her short legs to dangle around his sides. Amy watched carefully as he braced her bottom so she wouldn't fall and put his other hand on her back. Standing, Amy gave him a small smile and began walking towards the path. He followed. After a few seconds, Jordan's head fell to his shoulder as she sleepily rubbed her eyes while her other hand clutched the back of his shirt.
"She's getting tired." Amy told him in a hushed tone.
He looked over at her and nodded unsure if she was asking him to give her the baby or something. But she made no move to take her away, and he was happy she didn't. He liked having her in his arms. And, sure, he had a lot to learn, but in that moment, he really thought he could do this.
When they got back to the bench she had been sitting at when he arrived, she gestured that they could sit. Jordan had fallen completely asleep against his shoulder. Ricky slowly sat down and carefully moved her off his shoulder into his arms in front of his body. She rolled onto her side so her face was partially buried his shirt.
"Has it been hard?" He asked after a long silence.
"Has what been hard?"
"Being a mother?"
She looked at him then down at Jordan. "It's had its hard time, I guess."
"Why didn't you ever call me?"
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Because… eventually, there's no turning back, I guess. I put it off for so long I didn't see the point." She looked across the park for a few minutes before looking back at Ricky. "I never thought and I'm still not sure this will work."
"Have a little confidence in me." He said trying not to sound harsh.
"It's hard, Ricky. I need time to even start processing this." She said quietly with a little harshness showing through. "You can't just expect me to let you in when you didn't care about her when I was pregnant."
"I did care. I tried to stop you from getting an abortion." He snapped back.
She let out a snide laugh. "Because you wanted to get into Grace's pants. That didn't have anything to do with me or the baby."
"That had nothing to do with Grace. Contrary to popular belief, I actually wanted to do the right thing."
"And you have a great way of showing it." She snapped before letting out a sigh. "I have to go." She stood up and put the bag over her shoulder. He watched her in fear as she took Jordan from his arms.
"Amy…" He called after she started to walk away as he chased after her. Was this her way of saying she wasn't willing to give him a chance?
"Not now." She said before walking away. He watched in defeated as she walked down to the parking lot.
