The Voyager's Aide
Story I
Chapter 11: The Scarlet Phineas
The trio landed in the same area. Not much had changed except the fashion, and there weren't any rebels or Gendarmes clogging up the streets with their violent rhetoric. Jeremy leaped up and danced around.
"That was great! I love this job! I wanna be a Voyager field worker!"
Phineas sat up and rubbed the stitch in his lower back.
"Oww, you can't just become a field worker, you have to go through school and specific training, not to mention be chosen."
"But what about Jeffrey? How come he's a field worker at twelve?"
"He's an old pro now, he started at eleven. Jeffrey was an extenuating circumstance, and his time's coming for school in a few years. Just call it hands-on training, apprenticeship. Like you're doing with Kayla. Besides, Headquarters chose you for a different path, but you're still chosen."
"Yeah, that's true."
Kayla fixed her dress and hair and groaned. "Flying and landings like these aren't very good for the body. I've researched a few Voyager fatalities because of defective omni landings. The maps didn't read the terrain right."
Phineas thought of all his near brushes with deadly landings. "That's awful. So far so good with my omni. I think Edison tightened up everything."
"Who better to do it? Okay, we need to find the prison, but how can we get him out without being caught? You see, if we would've just waited and planned a bit…"
Phineas silenced her. "Kayla, Voyagers don't always have time to make plans, you just have to bite the bullet and accomplish the mission. It's safer in this time zone."
Kayla caressed his hair. "I guess so, but it's still dangerous. Sometimes too much confidence can lead to a bad thing. I don't want you to get hurt, Phineas."
He stroked her cheeks delicately. "Don't worry about me, I know exactly what I'm doing…umm, aheh, most of the time. I say we comb the prison area for weak points of entry and exits, and then get him out over night."
Kayla was unconvinced. "What about the guards? They'll be all over the place."
"They always are. Hasn't stopped me from trying before."
Jeremy thought of the pub from the other time zone and was hit with an idea. "Nuh uh, Kayla, if they're distracted they won't catch him. Suppose we give 'em a lively dose of entertainment tonight? You don't sing half bad, just be breathy about it. You know, like Marilyn Monroe."
Phineas caught on to Jeremy's scheme. He liked it and winked at her. "Ah, Marilyn! That's a great idea!"
"Hum…I'd prefer like Peggy Lee!" Kayla joked, but still worried.
"Whoever you wanna be, Ethel Merman…Doris Day…just make it work."
Phineas huddled with them. "Good, it's settled. Now, what you two need to do is…"
~Oo~
The Voyagers rented a room in a small hotel near the pub. Kayla glanced in the mirror disgruntled. She'd done her hair up with red wild flowers. Her eyes glowed through smoky, black makeup and she rouged her cheeks and lips as never before. She felt uncomfortable in the red and black bustle they'd picked for her and she kept adjusting the front so it wouldn't slide down. Her legs were lost in a sea of ruffles.
"This outfit is pure can-can, and this shade of red lipstick is definitely not my color, boys, it's too orangey, I like pink. The corset's itchy too. Did you get it from the bargain bin? Eww, there might be fleas! Why can't I wear the dress I bought?"
The men ignored her complaints and examined Jeremy's sketch of the prison layout. Phineas told Jeremy to look over the place and keep it in his photographic memory. He rolled his eyes at Kayla.
"Kayla, you complain more than Jeffrey. You wanted a plan, didn't you? This is what we came up with. You have to look the part. Trust me, the Moulin Rouge act will work on these guys, I've seen many times." Phineas stuffed a croissant with jam in his mouth.
Her eyes flashed irritated. "Oh you did, did you? I suppose it worked for you too?"
"No comment. Ok, J…I'm gonna run around outside the prison and make a scene, I'll need about a half hour. I don't want to presume they'll all leave their posts. X marks the spot here, when I get him out, I'll have to be quick. I need to take Barras to the National Guard building without delay. You and Kayla meet me there."
He messed his hair as they left the hotel and grabbed Kayla in front of the pub. "Kiss me quick! Make it good."
Kayla puckered up and left a bright red lip-print on his mouth. He took a hearty swig from the wine bottle in his hand and pulled a red flower from her hair and shoved it behind his ear. Jeremy finished tuning a guitar-like instrument he found.
"Phineas wait, what if you get caught?" Kayla asked.
He pulled the omni off his belt and tossed it to Jeremy. "If you don't find me at the National Guard building within the next two hours or so, get her out of here, and please, get Jeffrey back. After that…you can worry about me."
They knew he meant it. Kayla's heart pounded so hard she thought her bustle would pop.
"I'll take good care of him, I promise you. We'll come right back for you. I have faith in you, Phineas; you're a great Voyager!"
Phineas gave her a giant smile and ran off. Kayla and Jeremy hurried into the pub; it was crowding up with the riff-raff of the evening. Kayla told the manager she and her brother would like to entertain the crowd for free publicity and just keep keep any tips. The manager approved when he saw his customers leering and cheering them on to play.
Phineas was grateful that the prison was only a few minute's walk from the pub. He stumbled, feigning drunkenness, while singing French songs off key. The first song that came to mind was 'Frere Jacques.' As the people passed him, they laughed, and some spat disgusted. More than one woman eyed him in delight; everything went according to plan.
He stood his ground at the prison entrance and shouted.
"Bonjour! Go to the pub! See the singing angel with…Hic! The green eyes of a dove! A sprite! A fairy! A sweet goddess! See, look for yourself, she kissed me right here!"
Phineas ranted enough to get the guards attention and three of them ran out holding out their muskets. A crowd drew around Phineas. Some men took his word for it when they heard the strains of peppy music. Two guards looked at each other and shrugged. They were tired and wanted a little diversion.
"Why should we believe you, you are American? No?"
"American?…Naahhh, I'm a citizen of the world!"
Phineas impressed the crowd with a back flip. "I'm a sailor. I've never...Hiccup! Never seen a…a…prettier sight than she!…Hurry or she'll be gone!"
Phineas sang with as much gusto and bravura as he could, a pretty song he picked up on satellite radio in school. 'La Vie en Rose'
'De l'homme auquel j'appartiens. Quand il me prend dans ses bras, Il me parle tout bas, Je vois la vie en rose!…'
The soldiers poked at him with their muskets to shoo him away. Phineas ignored them and pranced back and forth. He grabbed strangers off the streets and danced with them.
"Hold me close and hold me fast, the magic spell you cast, this is la vie en rose! When you kiss me heaven sighs, and though I close my eyes, I see la vie en rose! When you press me to your heart, I'm in a world apart, a world where roses bloom, and when you speak and birds sing from above, everyday words seem to turn into love songs! Give your heart and soul to me and life will always be, La vie en rose!"
The soldiers finally seized him. "We're going, but you keep your big mouth shut from now on, or else we'll have your head, drunkard!"
The taller of the two held back. "Robespierre will have our head if he ever found out! Do you realize we have the most wanted man in all of France under our watch?"
'Calm down, George, Pierre has it under control; we'll only be a little while. Besides, our shift ends soon."
The taller Gendarme reluctantly followed his partner. Phineas smiled and danced on his way until he was out of view.
~Oo~
The sun set and the streets cleared. Phineas took the opportunity to run to the wagon he'd borrowed and put on his next disguise. He wiped off the lipstick and threw a priest's robe over his head. He grabbed the bible and hobbled over to the back entrance of the prison. Earlier that day, he and Jeremy noted that only special visitors were allowed to enter the side door and that included men of faith. He rapped hard, keeping his muscular stature hunched over and his face hidden within the shadows of his hood. It wasn't much of a disguise, but he hoped it'd be enough to get him inside. The door swung open and an older guard appeared, looking very vexed.
"Ack! Another one! Come in, who're here to see?"
"Barras, please. It is his final night." Phineas mumbled.
The guard laughed all the way to the end of the dank cell block. Offensive odors that emanated from the cells. He pitied the moans of men and families from behind the locked doors. Their fate already decided as of sunrise. It tore his heart to see anyone in such conditions. If he'd learned anything about history it was that people became more violent, and with new inventions came novel destructive forces. Too many had to die for unworthy causes and it disturbed him.
"Ha! That Barras is quite a popular one today! Come on out ya swine!"
A dark-complexioned man of forty dragged himself to the bars. His black eyes bore straight into them. His expression set in stone.
"Give him all the blessings he can get, father!" The guard sneered.
"If I've done wrong, then I shall see you and Robespierre in hell, won't I?" Barras spit at him. "Or wherever you say I'm going."
The guard hit the bars with his musket. "Keep your mouth shut and have some respect for the Priest! Go on, father."
The guard turned and stood with his arms crossed. Phineas' hand shook as he opened the bible and fumbled with the pages. Barras rolled his eyes.
"I don't need your blessings any more than I need to be in here!"
Phineas raised a hand to silence him. "Peace be upon you child, this is an extra special blessing."
He held open the book, and Barras saw the word 'COURAGE' in bold red letters. Phineas looked up and his youthful blue eyes caught the torch light. Barras moved away confused. Phineas threw the guard against the wall, banging his head and knocking him out. The prisoners all leaped up in a great commotion when Phineas grabbed the keys.
"Quickly! Which one?"
"The silver with the dented top!"
Phineas opened his door and Barras toppled out, overjoyed at his freedom. He grabbed the keys from Phineas opened the other cells.
"Hurry Barras, we haven't much time!"
When the final door opened they one and all ran from the prison. Different guards coming in for their shifts panicked and blew their whistles as riots broke out in the streets. Phineas yanked Barras away and tossed him in the rear of the wagon. Barras' idea worked well, the prison break caused a major diversion.
"Get in the crate and do not utter a sound, I'll be back as quickly as I can! I must get my friends!"
Barras was indebted for the help and made no resistance. "Yes, friend! Hurry!"
~Oo~
Phineas cast off the robe and ran to the pub; the entire place jumped around in high spirits and Jeremy's music carried on. He put his face to the glass and looked in. Kayla danced around seductively to a familiar tune. Jeremy sat on a stool playing a large bass instrument.
"You give me fever, fever when you hold me tight! Fever! In the morning and fever all through the night. Everybody's got the fever that is something you all know. Fever isn't such a new thing, fever started long ago…"
She held every man in the pub captivated. Phineas spotted the two guards at the front table, they were the worst of the bunch, trying to pull on her skirt and force her to sit on their laps. Phineas' anger rose, but the ruse was necessary and she played it to the hilt.
Kayla was fed up with the pawing soldiers and their advances. She wanted to take their muskets and shove them where the sun didn't shine. As she slipped from the Gendarmes' grip she saw Phineas at the window. She wanted to slap him for making her do this, but her heart leaped knowing he was safe for now. He signaled her that he was about to leave with Barras.
Kayla climbed on the tabletop; she winked at Jeremy and he played the famous last ten chords of the song. Kayla slid down to her knees and turned to the crowd with her bare shoulder revealed. She blew kisses and Jeremy helped her off the table. The crowd was wild for more. Coins and flowers were tossed at them. Jeremy managed to pick up a bunch for his collection before Kayla yanked his collar.
"C'mon! Phineas did it!"
Before they could leave, a frantic Gendarme burst into the pub, nursing a swollen bump on his forehead.
"There's been an escape! Barras is gone! Everyone's gone! It was the priest, but it wasn't…he was a phantom! He left this!"
The Gendarme held up Kayla's red flower – a Scarlet Pimpernel. Jeremy and Kayla stared in awe. Phineas must've inspired the story all along. The two guards bounded to their feet in shame, the taller one slapped the other.
"The drunkard! I know it was he! He took the guise of a priest! Robespierre will destroy us!"
Every guard and patron ran wild out of the pub; No one wanted to feel King Robespierre's wrath. In his angry fits he was known to behead a person for staring the wrong way. Jeremy and Kayla ran and kept deep in the shadows of the buildings and awnings. Jeremy led the way to the National Guard Headquarters, dragging her along.
"Jeremy, do you remember where it is?"
"Yes, of course I do, it's just beyond those gates, and there's a giant Robespierre statue at the entrance in a King's clothing. You can't miss it."
~Oo~
Phineas raced the wagon and three horses stampeded after him, their riders cursing and shouting. A musket fired and the bullet whizzed passed his ear. He crouched low. Phineas detoured through the murky woods. The Gendarmes were still on him. He ran the horses as fast as they could go, cracking his whip in the air. He wished he had the omni, he would've left with Barras and bought him right back, the same way he and Jeffrey had rescued Houdini. He pulled to the left into a bushy area. He was sure he'd passed the National Guard building about a half-mile back. Phineas leaped atop the wagon and pulled Barras out of the crate.
"Barras, we'll have to jump for it on three! They won't find us if we stay on foot!"
"That is a good plan!"
They threw themselves off, tumbling into underbrush. The carriage continued its journey and the Gendarmes trailed after it. Phineas rolled over aching. Barras was bruised, but alive, and they both needed a moment to regain a second wind. Phineas let him lead the way back to the Headquarters. Kayla and Jeremy were on the steps. Jeremy paced impatiently and Kayla kept jumping up every time a wagon or person wandered by.
"He's gotta make it, he has too, we need him!" Jeremy whined, more from worry than annoyance.
Phineas crept up behind Kayla; her face was lowered in her hands. He grabbed her and she gasped.
"Hey cutie! Miss me?"
She hugged him and pelted him with soft kisses.
"Missed you! Missed you? You don't want to know what I thought!"
Jeremy slapped his back. "I knew you'd be alright, I couldn't leave without you. Phineas you made it, one hour exactly!"
Phineas craned his neck and cracked his bruised knuckles. His clothing was a mess and his shirt torn. Mud and leaves stained his boots and dust coated his hair. His face bore tiny scratch marks, as if he'd wrestled with tree branches and lost. Barras, looking just as worse for wear, ran into the building to announce his return and came back out to thank him.
"I cannot express my gratitude enough, you are a hero! The men got word of my escape, they said it was with the aide of a nefarious vigilante, and called him, 'The Scarlet Pimpernel! Ha ha! Can you imagine?"
Kayla grinned, "I sure can."
"Brilliant diversion! You are all heroes; your exploits will be remembered somehow, I'll make sure of it. What are your names?"
Phineas told him his name, but the others declined so Barras didn't pressure them. "Very well! Be mysterious, that's what makes it all the more exciting!"
They all shook hands. Barras insisted they stay to rest and eat, but Phineas politely refused. After a final goodbye, the trio went toward a private area to use the omni, however, they came face to face with the furious Gendarmes. They stood poised to kill. Jeremy slipped Phineas the omni from behind. He'd already adjusted it to go home.
"Now we've caught you! Tomorrow Robespierre will have your heads on a platter. As for the pretty whore, she can stay alive until we've had our way with her."
Kayla fumed. She struggled to lunge at them, but Phineas grabbed her.
"How dare you pigs!" She sputtered. "I am not a whore!"
The Gendarmes laughed at her torn skirt and the black makeup that ran down her cheeks. Her sloppy rouge and appearance betrayed otherwise.
"I'm sorry fellas, but she's all mine!"
Phineas hit the omni. The guards were astounded. As they looked around, soldiers encircled them. Barras and his guards barricaded the entrance. Their weapons were far more powerful and their expressions severe.
~Oo~
Jeremy tumbled face up on the Oriental rug in the brownstone living room, his arms and legs sprawled out, a look of pure surprise on his face. This was definitely something he hoped to do again. Phineas landed on the couch and Kayla on top of him, they groaned loud.
"Phineas! Why didn't you let me answer those soldiers? That was so insulting!"
"What do you mean? You did say something, with a musket between the eyes and everything! What was I supposed to do, wait for him to fire?"
"You could've at least defended me. What was all that about…hehehe…she's all mine? Ughh! Voyager School doesn't teach humor do they General Cornwallis!"
"Wha..? Why's he involved? It was all I could think of, I don't…"
"Don't start making excuses and acting like a typical male!"
"What would you know about a typical male?"
She wagged a fist. "You're asking for it! Never mind! I gotta get out of this dress, it's poking me everywhere!"
"Well, I'm not moving yet, my bones hurt!"
Jeremy stifled laughter. The two bantered on like a couple married for years. He rose and left the apartment, he didn't think they'd want him hanging around for much longer.
Kayla was tired and uncomfortable. She tried to sit up, but the ruffles prevented her. Her bustle dug into her flesh and she squeaked frustrated. Phineas sat up on his elbows. He wasn't about to push her off in her angry mood.
"Hey! Aren't you glad we got out alive? Look, we fixed a red light zone. Now you can add Voyager Field Worker to your resume."
Kayla's mood calmed. "Yes, it was very exciting, even if I had no idea what I was doing half the time…but I'm warning you, if you ever make me do something like this again I'll…"
Phineas drew his face close to hers. "You'll what?" He challenged. "What can you do?"
Kayla grabbed his jaw and kissed him; he sighed and kissed her back desirably. She stopped out of nowhere.
"Oh my goodness, I'm a disgusting mess! I need to get more comfortable. And so do you, sir."
"Kayla…why do you do this to me?" Phineas sighed.
She glanced at his muddied boots and untangled a leaf from his hair. She sat up before he could protest again.
"I'll be no more than twenty minutes. Why don't you use the shower downstairs?"
A slow grin spread across his face. His eyes shimmered. "That sounds terrific, then I can…"
Kayla put a finger to his lips and he kissed it. "Don't take too long." She whispered.
Phineas made his way to Artie's lab. The flashing glow of red, orange, and green on Kayla's computer distracted him in the darkness. The information of Jeffrey's location was still there. He halted.
"Oh man! Jeffrey! My poor kid!" He exclaimed. "What was I thinking?"
The boy was probably scared out of his wits. Who knew what kind of man his father was? Phineas had little recollection of the company he'd kept, and Jeffrey could be severely hurt or worse. What if he were made a slave or thrown overboard and keel hauled to the sharks? Terrible outcomes came to his mind. He re-adjusted his omni.
"I can't leave him alone now. He needs me." He thought with a fatherly instinct.
As Phineas flew through the cosmos, he hoped Kayla would understand.
~Oo~
Kayla glided out feeling spectacularly refreshed. Phineas wasn't in his room. There was no trace of him ever being there. She shrugged and figured he was still showering downstairs. She raced down the steps two at a time to the shower room; the water hadn't even been turned on.
She looked around embarrassed and called out. "Phineas, where are you?"
Only silence greeted her, she sank into the couch and the computer flickered. Jeffrey's message was gone; Phineas' rescue mission had been completed. She gazed sullenly at the blank screen. Phineas Bogg stood her up without a word. He had good reason, but now she had good reason not trust Voyagers where love and relationships were concerned. She couldn't help the overwhelming humiliation welling inside her. She turned off the computer and approached the desk. Phineas Bogg's file lay open with his records and pictures strewn about. She shoved them together and marked it with a big stamp…
'CLOSED.'
