Playlist:
Come Back To Me : David Cook
Who's Crying Now : Journey
Who Knew : Pink
Innocent : Our Lady Peace
Under Pressure : Queen
Magnus POV
Alec stood ten feet away from me, keeping as much distance from me as the small corridor leading to the front door would let him.
"I can't tell you who Miss Gray is or how I know her. I just... can't" Alec turned without another word and opened the door. He was halfway through when he finally looked Magnus in the eye.
"How can I trust you when you won't let me?" He paused for a moment and took a breath. "I think we should take a break, find ourselves, you know." I lifted my hand to stop him, but without giving me the chance to speak he shut the door.
I don't know how long I stood there staring at my door, hoping he would come back, thinking that he always came back. But finally I headed into my living room and sat on the couch. Chairman Meow jumped and nuzzled its soft head into chest, I pushed her off gently. It meowed harshly then stocked off. Magnus didn't have time to deal with temperamental cats right now.
He'd just lost his Alexander. And maybe it would be a small break, or maybe it would be a break that never ended. A break that allowed the both of them to move on with their lives and find other people. Alec seemed to be convinced that that was all Magnus ever wanted to do, see other people. Magnus knew as he though it that if Alec chose to take a while Magnus would please him and abide, he loved him. And that is what you do for people you love right? You let them go even though it hurts you? After all if Jace could do it, then so could he.
His jealousy had gotten the best of him. Miss Gray wasn't anyone that Magnus thought was a hazard to their relationship, he supposed though, that it depended on how you looked at it. He knew what Alec would see in Miss Gray. A pretty girl with nothing left to loose, needing Magnus' help, even though he'd lived the moment time and time again and it never ended the way anyone had wanted it to.
Magnus stood himself up deciding the best way to not think about it was to busy himself. He chose to clean his apartment, seeing as how it was in desperate need of dusting and some Windex. He pulled the tiny metallic square box off of a nearby shelf and stuck the headphones into his ear.
"You say you gotta go and find yourself
You say that you're becoming someone else
Don't recognize the face in the mirror
Looking back at you
You say you're leaving
As you look away
I know there's really nothing left to say
Just know I'm here
Whenever you need me
I'll wait for you
So I'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me
Take your time i wont go anywhere
Picture you with the wind in your hair
I'll keep your things right where you left them
I'll be here for you
Oh and I'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me
And i hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you come back to me
I can't get close if your not there
I can't get inside if there's no soul to bear
I can't fix you i can't save you
Its something you have to do
So I'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me
Come back to me
So I'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me
And I hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you come back to me
When you find you come back to me
When you find you come back to me
When you find you come back to me"
I listened to a few more songs then decided that if I scrubbed my makeshift home anymore I would eventually scrubbed it all away. And that is exactly what he hoped not to do.
Alec POV
Alec tossed the magazine over onto the bed. Mundane magazines were such a waste of time. From where he was sitting he could see every empty corner of his room. Now, his room wasn't as plain as Jace's, it did look like he lived in it. Clothes was in a neat pile in the corner, thanks to his mother, books piled on a desk that held a few of his weapons, some photos tacked up on his wall, courtesy of Isabelle, they were all mostly of her and if not they had her in them.
Alec tried not to think about Magnus, but when he found his mind wandering for too long he did. Hence the boring magazines covered with from to back celebrity gossip that was worthlessly not true. Alec thought he had a made a perfect point, at the time. Now he couldn't be sure where it had come from. Magnus could have left a long time ago, but he hadn't. He hadn't. He thought about him and Magnus had been doing before the argument came up, he smiled and then let it slip. What would his parents think? What would Jace think? Or worse... Did they already know? Clary had been able to see Isabelle had seen it, Jace coul-. No. He stopped his thoughts mid-sentence and chose not to think about it. One day he would tell them, but not know.
He stood up from the chair and walked over to the tall lamp in the corner, he switched it off and fumbled to the bed. Once he was settled in he shut his eyes and prayed for a dreamless sleep. No one is ever that lucky.
Hard pavement rested beneath Alexander Lightwoods' white cheek. He opened his eyes to see distress and mayhem lining the streets of New York City. First he noticed a couple things as he stood himself up from the ground. No people, was one. Complete silence was another. And a thick layer of ash concealing away the remaining burning buildings was the worst. He choked on the smoke. His hands and arms were covered in black ash, he knew without looking that his hair wasn't black but a sickening gray.
He started to walk, but the thick smog in the air made it next to impossible to see where he was walking. He looked down at the sound his feet made when they stepped on and crushed the broken glass along the street. The sound it made was an invasion in the quiet empty world he was in. As he passed buildings Alec would look through the holes in the glass windows, but still nothing. He was alone. Completely and utterly alone.
The sound of footsteps behind him made him turn. A police force equipped with shields and batons rushed forward in a perfect block. They passed him with record speed, he watched as they trotted across the road to a destination he couldn't see. Soon they disappeared into the gray.
"This is all your fault Mr. Lightwood." His head whipped back to the way the force had come from. Magnus stood not far from him. Dressed in a black tweed suit with a black dress shirt. The only thing missing from his usual fabric diet was glitter. His hair was parted down the middle and slicked down. "Everything you see before you, the smoke and fire," Alec looked up at the building and barely visible sky Magnus had pointed at, his eyes stung, "the emptiness, the death."
"Death?" Alec's voice surprised him. His voice was usually steady, strong if only a little insecure. But now it was choppy and lacking confidence, like some part of him knew he had caused this. "There is no death." Magnus smiled wickedly.
"Oh?" He pointed off to the side of Alec and he followed his hand until it rested on a bundle of cloth. Alec took the necessary steps to the bundle. His fingers gripped the wool blanket and slowly he pulled back, to reveal bodies. Their eyes a vacant glossy stare. He dropped the blanket quickly and looked down the street. In the seconds that he had turned his back, dozens of piles just like this one were scattered along the sidewalks.
"This... no." Magnus stared at him, his face grave. A choking and desperate tear slid down Alec's cheek, taking the dirt and black ash with it.
Magnus's voice was like acid when he spoke. "Who's crying now?"
Alec bolted up right, desperately pulling his sheets off his sweating body as he jumped out of the bed. His heart was racing as he panted. A sound was pushing its way through the haze in his brain left over from the dream. His alarm clock. He didn't remember setting it, because he hadn't. The clock flashed 2:59 and words were screaming out of it. He caught a piece of it as he stumbled around the bed to the table to shut it off.
"Two hearts born to run
Who'll be the lonely one
Wonder who's cryin' now"
He slammed his hand down on the off button and sat at the edge of the bed. He buried his head in his hands and tried unsuccessfully to quiet his breathing.
Clary POV
Clary dropped the pencil from her hand and let it slide to the grass. She had been staring at the same solitary tree for hours now. She was frustrated that she couldn't get it right. She continued to stare at it as her mind began to walk away from her again. The source of her inability to draw today was thoughts of Simon. He hadn't called, hadn't txted. And when Clary had gotten up the courage to call apartment, there was no answer. She knew he was ignoring her, but some part of her worried that something was wrong. She could feel it, something wasn't right.
Clary thought back to the night in Pandemonium. It was the last and most eventful time she'd been there. If she'd just payed more attention to Simon none of this would be happening.
She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her head against them closing her eyes.
"You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew
Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I'd give anything
When someone said count your blessings now
'fore they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew
Yeah yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew
My darling
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew
Who knew."
Clary let her knees drop as the tears slid steadily from her eyes.
"Clary?" She looked to the left her sobs stopping. There was no one there. She dropped her sketch book onto the ground as she stood up.
"Clary?" She spun around to see her mother standing behind her.
"Mom?" Jocelyn smiled and stuck her hand out for Clary to take. She took it and hugged Jocelyn tight, her tears coming faster now. "Oh mom, I don't know what to do anymore. I need your help." She let go. "Simon won't talk to me anymore, he told me to leave him alone. I think I'm in love with my brother. Mom, just come back, I need your help, I don't know what to do without you." Jocelyn said nothing as she dropped Clary's hand and bent down to pick up the sketch book and pencil Clary had left sitting in the grass.
She looked at the picture Clary had tried to draw.
"Honey, this looks like a water tower." Clary laughed silently.
"I know. I haven't really been able to draw lately." Some part of Clary knew that her mother was in a hospital, under the careful eye of trained doctors and Luke. But she didn't want to let this brief moment of insanity go. Jocelyns' green eyes looked at Clary.
"You mean you haven't been seeing the real picture." Jocelyn handed the book to Clary. She took it and cocked her head a little bit.
"What do you mean?" She pointed behind Clary and spoke.
"You see that tree?" Clary turned around to look at it. She could feel her mom come to stand behind her. The tree was large at the top, with tons of green fresh leaves and a thick strong trunk. The tree, like the one she'd been trying to sketch, stood alone. The only difference in the two was that this one stood strong. Clary had been trying to capture the beauty and slow death in the other one. Mother Nature at its finest, she thought.
"Yes?"
"One day
You'll have to let it go,
One day
You'll stand up on your own
you'll stand up on your own."
Clary grimaced. "What does that have to do with the tree?" No answer, she turned to find that she was alone. Her mother was gone. She looked down at the sketch book, already turned to a blank page. She began to draw and thought about what her mother had said about standing up on her own. And she thought about it, drawing and drawing until finally it came to her. She smiled into the sketch pad as she watched the pencil slide across the paper.
Jace POV
"Oh, Johnny wishes he was famous
Spends his time alone
In the basement
With Lennon and Cobain
A guitar and a stereo
While he wishes he
Could escape this
It all seems so contagious
Not to be yourself and faceless
In a song that has no soul
I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
I remember all the feelings
And the day they stopped
We are,
We are all innocent, we are all innocent
We are, we are, we are
We are all innocent, we are all innocent
We are, we are
Oh, Tina's losing faith in what she knows
Hates her music
Hates all of her clothes
Thinks of surgery
And a new nose
Every calorie is a war
While she wishes she
Was a dancer
And that she'd never
Heard of cancer
She wishes God would give her
Some answers
And make her feel beautiful
I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
I remember all the feelings
And the day they stopped
We are,
We are all innocent, we are all innocent
We are, we are, we are
We are all innocent, we are all innocent
We are, we are
One day
You'll have to let it go,
Oh
One day
You'll stand up on your own, you'll stand up on your own
Yeah
Remember losing hope,
Remember feeling low,
Remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are,
We are all innocent, we are all innocent
We are, we are, we are,
We are all innocent, we are all innocent
We are, we are
We are,
We are all innocent
(One day, you'll have to let it go, you'll have to let it go)
We are all innocent
We are, we are, we are,
We are all innocent, we are all innocent
We are, we are
We are,
We are all innocent
(One day, you'll stand up on your own, stand up on your own)
We are all innocent
We are, we are, we are,
We are all innocent, we are all innocent
We are, we are
We are... we are all innocent..."
Jace strolled down main street passing people who stared after him like he was crazy. He was acting like he'd just moved to new york prepared to follow his dream of show business. He danced around like he was in a music video. He danced around and sang songs he'd only heard once in his life. People stopped and watched as he passed. Some yelled "Cool it!" others yelled "Fuck off!". But Jace was too busy thinking about his pressured life to give a fuck what they were saying and screaming at him. For a brief moment he appreciated those mundanes who bobbed their head or sang along. He even enjoyed the moments when people pulled out their hi-tech phones and said "I'm putting this up on YouTube.". Jace didn't know what a YouTube was, but he sure liked being seen. He wanted to be seen. He heard a sound coming out of a radio store and decided that he knew the song well enough to make it his next song.
He grabbed the shirt of one the guys filming and sang.
"Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you no man ask for "
He let him go and started to move down the side walk still singing away like today was the best day of his life. Even though it was just as bad as yesterday, which was the day Maryse had kicked him out.
"Under pressure that burns a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets
It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming let me out
Tomorrow gets me higher
Pressure on people - people on streets
Chippin' around, kick my brains around the floor
These are the days, it never rains, but it pours
People on streets - people on streets
It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming let me out
Tomorrow gets me higher, higher, higher...
Pressure on people - people on streets
Turned away from it all like a blind man
Sat on a fence but it don't work
Keep coming up with love but it's so slashed and torn
Why, why, why?
Love
Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking
Can't we give ourselves one more chance?
Why can't we give love that one more chance?
Why can't we give love, give love, give love..?
'Cause love's such an old-fashioned word
and love dares you to care for
The people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure
Under pressure
Pressure."
Jace didn't feel like he was done yet. He passed several people as he jammed out on the streets. A group of girls giggled and waved at him, he smiled haughtily and kept going, they giggled louder.
He could feel one more song left in him.
He stopped dead and more people cursed at him. He slapped his hands down on his pelvis bone.
"Yo, VIP, Let's kick it!"
He let his hands slip and more girls giggled as he pelvic thrusted and continued to pretend like he was happy.
"Ice Ice Baby, Ice Ice Baby
All right stop, Collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Then I flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop? Yo - I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.
Dance, Bum rush the speaker that booms
I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly, when I play a dope melody
Anything less than the best is a felony
Love it or leave it, You better gain way
You better hit bull's eye, The kid don't play
If there was a problem, Yo, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla
Now that the party is jumping
With the bass kicked in, the Vegas are pumpin'
Quick to the point, to the point no faking
I'm cooking MCs like a pound of bacon
Burning them if they're not quick and nimble
I go crazy when I hear a cymbal
And a hi hat with a souped up tempo
I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo
Rollin' in my 5.0
With my ragtop down so my hair can blow
The girlies on standby, Waving just to say Hi
Did you stop? No - I just drove by
Kept on pursuing to the next stop
I busted a left and I'm heading to the next block
That block was dead
Yo - so I continued to A1A Beachfront Ave.
Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis
Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis
Jealous 'cause I'm out geting mine
Shay with a gauge and Vanilla with a nine
Reading for the chumps on the wall
The chumps acting ill because they're so full of "Eight Ball"
Gunshots ranged out like a bell
I grabbed my nine - All I heard were shells
Falling on the concrete real fast
Jumped in my car, slammed on the gas
Bumper to bumper the avenue's packed
I'm trying to get away before the jackers jack
Police on the scene, You know what I mean
They passed me up, confronted all the dope fiends
If there was a problem, You, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla
Take heed, 'cause I'm a lyrical poet
Miami's on the scene just in case you didn't know it
My town, that created all the bass sound
Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground
'Cause my style's like a chemical spill
Feasible rhymes that you can vision and feel
Conducted and formed, This is a hell of a concept
We make it hype and you want to step with this
Shay plays on the fade, slice like a ninja
Cut like a razor blade so fast, Other DJs say, "damn"
If my rhyme was a drug, I'd sell it by the gram
Keep my composure when it's time to get loose
Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice
If there was a problem, Yo - I'll solve it!
Check out the hook while Deshay revolves it.
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla
Yo man - Let's get out of here!"
He pointed to one of the guys who promptly took a thumb to a chest and mouthed "me?"
"Word to your mother!"
Ice Ice Baby Too cold, Ice Ice Baby Too cold Too cold
Ice Ice Baby Too cold Too cold, Ice Ice Baby Too cold Too cold."
When he was done Jace turned around looked a few of the cameras in the eye and bowed, he waved and walked off like nothing odd had just gone down.
