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Fili closed his eyes, blocking out the moonlight, the waterfall and the eager face of his brother. Fili knew Kili just wanted to help him, and he loved him for it but Kili did not understand what he was asking Fili of. He was asking him to dig deep down to an event that happened almost 30 years ago, an event that he spent the last 30 years trying to repress and forget.
He had been so young then, so naive of the harshness of men, he never had realized that Gileron had been a threat until it had been too late. Gileron had always waited until he was alone with Fili, to whisper vulgar things in his ear and touch him with hard calloused hands. Thorn had trusted Gileron, they had been friends before Thorin caught them on that dark night where everything changed. Fili tried very hard not to think about what would have happened if Thorin had not interfered when he did, but it haunted him in his dreams every night. It scared him, and it made trusting other people difficult.
Then Fili realized that Kili was sitting there next to him, expecting an answer. He took a deep breath. What should he say? That he was almost raped by Gileron? That Gileron had touched him, and hurt him in places nobody should be allowed to touch? That he was too ashamed of what happened to tell their uncle what was happening until it was too late?
Fili took a deep breath, "Gileron…he hurt me…he would hurt me. Sometimes after the shop closed for the day, it would just be me and him and he…he took advantage of my silence. Uncle found out one night when he double backed into the shop to get something and caught him hurting me. He was so angry—that's why Gileron left—Uncle threw him out of the shop."
"Oh Fili, I am so sorry that happened to you." Kili whispered softly.
There was a beat of silence.
"I wish you would have told me. I would have helped. There was so much I never knew." Kili continued.
"It's okay, Kee. It's not your fault—-."
"And it's not your fault either. It's Gileron's fault. You understand that, right?" Kili asked, looking up at him.
Fili nodded silently.
"You would always flinch away from me, if I touched you unexpectedly."
"I'm sorry."
"Oh Fili. Please don't be sorry. It wasn't your fault. Did you tell anyone? Does anyone know?" Kili asked
Fili shook his head, "Just Uncle. I didn't want anybody else to know."
"How come Thorin never told me? I could have helped." Kili said, looking up at Fili.
"How come I never told you what?" a gruff voice asked, making them both jump.
FIli turned around and saw his Unlce Thorin standing behind them, his face hidden in the shadows. Kili turned around in his chair and smiled.
"Unlce! What a lovely surprise. We were just talking. It's been long overdue, don't you think?" he said
Fili felt himself blush, and was very grateful for the veil of night. He still felt very shy of his new voice.
Thorin nodded, "I have just been conversing with Lord Elrond and I believe that we will be able to reach the mountain by Durin's day. Soon you two will be the crown princes of Erebor, and will rule with great pride over the lonely mountain."
He looked over the waterfall and sighed deeply, looking content for just a mount before the Durin scowl appeared on his face again.
"We are to leave this place by daybreak. I do not wish to be around the elves for very much longer. I suggest you two try to get some sleep, for the journey will be long." he said, then he walked over and placed a gentle hand on Kili's shoulder.
"The trolls, did they hurt you?" he asked
Kili shook his head, "No, but—."
"You did well shooting against the warg pack." Thorn interrupted
"Yes, I know but—."
"This quest will only make you stronger, and when you are the true prince of Erebor, I will make sure no one takes you for granted. I am weary now, and tomorrow will be long. Goodnight nephews." he patted Kili's shoulder again, then reached out to Fili but his hand stopped mid-gesture, closing into a fist. He lowered his arm and gave Fili a nod of his head.
"Goodnight, Fili." he said.
Fili could not ignore the hope in his uncle's eyes that he might speak to him.
"Goodnight, Uncle." Fili answered with a shy smile.
They both watched Thorin walk away, his heavy boots echoing loudly against the marble hallways.
Kili sighed, "He's changing. And I don't like it. A week ago he would have sat with us and talked until sunrise.
Fili nodded, he had noticed Thorin's change in heart too. He had talked about nothing else besides the quest since Elrond had read his map and told him they had to reach the mountain by Durin's day.
"I suppose we should get some rest." Fili said, looking at his brother. Kili nodded.
"Roll me in?" he asks, unlocking the chair.
"Sure."
"And Fili?" he asked
"Yes?"
"I want to talk to you more, tomorrow. About everything. I've missed you, brother."
Fili smiled, "Ive missed you too."
They rolled down the hallway together, and for the first time in a very long time Kili felt like he finally was starting to get to know his brother
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So sorry this is a short one, and that nothing really happened. I have another chapter in the works but I wanted to get this one up for you guys today. Stay tuned for another chapter soon, and thank you so much for sticking with me. Please leave a review, they really help me!
