Disclaimer: How to Train Your Dragon and all related characters and events belong to Cressida Cowell and DreamWorks Animation.
From Riders of Berk, Episode 2: Viking for Hire.
"Hiccup, I may 'ave taught you everything you know, but I 'aven't taught you everything I know."
I know, sure, you think I'm just the village blacksmith, a one-armed, one-legged dragon killer with a lovely singin' voice and a fine moustache. But there's a lot more to me than that, Hiccup, and a lot more that I could still teach ya.
For starters, I could teach ya 'ow to cook; it would be good to put some meat on those skinny little bones of yours. Ya should try my meatballs, laddie, there's none like 'em on the whole island. It's my grandma's recipe, you know, mutton, yak, chicken, and fish oil with some very special secret herbs grown at the top of the sea stacks and picked by moonlight. They're delicious, especially when served with a bit o' bread and ale. Just the thing to put some hair on your chest...and don't give me that look, young man.
Then again, I really should teach ya 'ow to dance: ye weren't much of a dancer before you lost the foot, and as fine as your new peg-leg is, ya could use some tips. First thing to remember is, don't go steppin' on the lady's feet, even if they're huge. Second, smile: if you look awkward and uncomfortable, you'll feel awkward and uncomfortable, and you'll be awkward and uncomfortable. And third, if you really want to dance with little Miss Astrid, just go up and ask 'er. You know what they say, Hiccup: the best way to get a girl under the Snoggletog mistletoe is to jig your way there. Keep it in mind, lad.
And while we're on that subject, there's not much difference between dancin' and fightin', which you also don't do all that well. And if ya really want to call yourself a Viking, well then, we've got some work to do. Ya may have made peace with the dragons, but there are plenty of other tribes out there who like nothin' better than a friendly little war. When it comes to fightin', the first rule you 'ave to remember is that there are no rules. So, if an Outcast comes up to you and kicks ya in the shin, it is your great privilege and sacred duty to punch him in the nose in return. And then thunk him on the noggin with your hammer, or stick your dragon on him, whichever ye find most convenient.
You're a good boy, Hiccup, clever as they come, and ye've been a fine apprentice to me. But how much do ya really know about those dragons? I know, ya ride Toothless, and that counts for somethin'. But remember, lad, I've forgotten more about dragons than most men will ever know, and I know more about life in general than you will know for a long time.
