Chapter 10: They Call Us the Dimwit House

Words: 3,367

Recap: A hat ransacked my mind just so he could choose the house that will be my family. And that house will be...


'...I know just the place for you, oh yes you will be...'

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

The Hufflepuff table cheered at another addition to their house. I got up and trudge to the table and couldn't help glancing back at my two friends.

Oh he tried, Sev tried very hard, but the smile was obviously forced, then he sighed and reluctantly clapped like the rest of the table when he hadn't before. That made me genuinely smiled back at him. I looked at Lily who was clapping too, there was a hint of sadness that we weren't able to be in the same house. I caught sight of Sirius though who was sitting right next to her who had a smug look on and mouthed something I couldn't make out, though I do know it's not something I would like.

An upperclassman stood before me and took my hand with an eager smile, he was a guy in his teen, probably 15-16 year old, he had a sleek brunette hair, large nose, slight pink face, and dark eyes, "Hello Perseus, I'm your prefect, Conall Macmillan, welcome to Hufflepuff."

"Call me Percy and thanks."

"Lupin, Remus."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

I sat on an empty space next to a kid who I noticed was the first Hufflepuff sorted. He had spiky brunette hair, light yellow skin, plump face, small nose, bright brown eyes. "Hey, my name is Caradoc, what's yours?" he asked cheerily.

"Percy, nice to meet you." I shook his hand in respond. Then there's a tap on my shoulder, and I turned to find myself facing a girl, she had short perm black hair, black eyes to match, high cheekbones and she wore a sunny smile, "My name is Gwen, nice to meet you. So Percy, what took you so long at the sorting?"

I blinked confusingly at her, "Was it that long? I hadn't noticed."

"Around 3-4 minutes," she told me, "a little bit longer, and you would have reached a Hatstall."

"...okay I'll bite, what's that supposed to be?" I asked in genuine curiosity.

"Macdonal, Mary."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"It's just a term we used when the hat had to agonize for more than five minutes. It's incredibly rare, the last happened to be Professor McGonagall over there." Gwen explained cheerfully. "So which houses did the Hat consider for you?"

"He said something between Gryffindor, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff."

Caradoc gasped at my answer, "Three houses? That's unheard of! I'm surprised you got chosen to the Duffer House."

That got me raising an eyebrow, "Duffer?"

"Well... how much do you know about the House Cup?" Seeing my confused look, Gwen continued explaining, "House Cup is kind of the award for the best house of the year and the main reason for house rivalry around here. From what I heard, Hufflepuff hasn't won a lot of cups that's for sure. We're not as smart as the Ravens, or cunning and ambitious as those Snakes, not to mention as daring as the Lions so don't expect any glory from us," Gwen shrugged.

So in a manner of speaking, I'm in the Underdog House. Not the first experience, so I'm not sure how to take in all that.

"You seem to know a lot for a firs' year" Caradoc pointed out to Gwen.

"You should thank my sister, she's really a blabbermouth, so she talks about practically everything around here."

"McGonagall, MG."

I glanced back to the front when I heard a familiar name being called, and I plainly saw MG walking too fast for a reasonable pace. Then I took a double take at the name and my eyes widen, "Wait...McGonagall...wasn't one of..."

"The professor has the same name?" She finished for me, "You got that right, looks like the Gryffindor's Head House has a relative."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The Gryffindor's table cheered aloud as they welcomed their newest member of the house. MG herself looked torn between excitement and the slight disappointment across her face that got me wondering what she might be thinking right now.

"Mulciber, Craig."

"SLYTHERIN!"

"By the way, I've been wondering about your accent...you're not from around here are you?" Caradoc asked with a hint of nervousness, he looked like he didn't want to upset me in some way.

"You could say that I moved here from New York and ended up here because of my aunt."

"Then you'll definitely love it here, I mean who wouldn't when you have Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore as our Headmaster!" Caradoc delightly said to me.

"...you've been wanting to said that, didn't you?"

That got him to blush red and scratched the back of his neck. "Was I that obvious?"

"Well, I can't blame you," Gwen piped up from beside, "Dumbledore is easily the most powerful wizard in history since Merlin...or so I heard from my sister."

That got my eyes to widen, I knew he was a big deal, but I didn't realize he was that much of a big deal.

"What's his story?"

"Pettigrew, Peter."

That seemed to be the wrong thing to ask, from the bright round eyes Caradoc was shooting me that I was all too familiar with Grover when he starts giving me two hours praise of the god, Pan, when I asked the kind of god he is.

"Oh, Professor Dumbledore is amazing! You would never imagine the kind of thing that man accomplished in his lifetime..."

I began to only half listen since I knew a hero worship expression when I see one, he was probably going to rant until the sorting was over. Other than what I know about Dumbledore which only stretched of him vanquished that Dark Wizard, Grindelwald, I did catch snippets of the kind of things the Professor had accomplished. Like how he found 12 uses of Dragon Blood; apparently, they can be a fantastic first aid cure as well as an oven cleaner, who knew?

He also explained how he had worked together with the famous alchemist, Nicholas Flamel who turned out to be a wizard as well, and I could have sworn Annabeth mentioned him once as one of the demigods. How he got to become Supreme Mugwump, ignoring the ridiculous name I'm trying hard not to laugh at, which turned out to be the title of the leader of some fancy-schmancy organization that's practically equal to the wizard's version of United Nations and I'll admit that's very impressive.

Why do they have to make such prestigious title named similar to the mixed word of mud, swamp and a dash of the letter U? That I'll never be able to understand.

Then midway listening to his hero worshiping speech, I frowned at the lack of sound or rather...I noticed most had gone toward whispering with one another, and a few kids were exchanging money?! What in the world!

I shushed Caradoc down and turned to the front and found the same guy...who was it again? Patrick? Peeta? I turned to Gwen who might seem to know what was going on when I zoned out for awhile.

"It's been like five minutes since the guy had put the hat on, if he reached seven then he'll break the school's longest hatstall! People are betting on that, that and the house he'll end up," she said excitedly at the change of pace in the sorting.

"Where do you think his house will be?" I asked her.

"Not sure, I suck at guessing. The universe never seemed to want me to win outside of 2 out of 10 chances."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The whole hall snapped out front when the name of the house was called, and the Gryffindor table cheers were renewed. I took a quick glance at the guy who almost gotten the longest hatstall. Short, buck teeth, light brown rully hair that almost looked blond, a little chubby and overall he gave you the kind of mouse feel from him.

"Potter, James."

Another name I recognize had me sat straight and turned toward one of the two guys that my friends and I duped. He seemed to catch me staring as he slightly turned to shoot daggers with his eyes at me before resuming his walk toward the Sorting Hat.

I don't know if I had imagined it, but I think Dumbledore seemed to caught our 'little' exchange because he must have seen something amusing to make him smile.

The hat took a minute or two before putting James the house he all but wanted ever since we had our rides on the train and probably his whole life as he almost skipped toward the Gryffindor. It had been a bit far, so I wasn't sure, but he looked pale when he took off from the hat, and his pace was odd when going to his dream house. All that I shrugged off when James instantly looked like himself when he looked back at his friend. I found that both Sev and I frowned when he all but took his seat near Lily and she seemed to share the same sentiment as us if her face was anything similar to our own.

"Stewedge, May."

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Someone you knew?" Caradoc asked, and Gwen looked just as curious even without asking.

"Just a Prat I met on a train," I answered evenly.

"Snape, Severus."

The frown I had been wearing promptly changed into a grin as my friend took a step toward the Hat. It took almost no time at all as his house was shouted his house across the hall.

"SLYTHERIN!"

I admit my applause was just as loud as from the Slytherin's table, Sev met eyes with me, and I gave him a thumbs up. The elated look he had was distinct, but I caught the slight flashed of sadness probably because we won't be there sitting next to him since Sev isn't entirely used with new people.

"Vance, Emmelin."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Once the last of the first year were called out, Albus Dumbledore stood up with arms open wide, and the beaming with his old eyes that seemed to carry year's worth of wisdom. Something reminiscent of Chiron. I couldn't help picture them together playing pinochle, and Mr. D was grumbling being on the losing side from both.

"Welcome," he said. "Welcome to another new year of Hogwarts" Cue snorting from my side, it's even funnier when he said it.

"Before we begin our banquet I like to say a few words: ure mihi passerem indusia."

"Thank you and tuck in."

The rest of the hall went clapping as if he had just said the most significant thing mankind has known while I was one of the few that were left gawking that he said to the thousands of student here that his bird burned his underwear without a hint of shame?

"Huh, I wonder what Professor Dumbledore just said, don't you Percy...Percy are you okay?" Caradoc asked in concern when he saw me burying my face on my hand.

I waved him off then looked at my new friend who had been singing praises for the man and decided to let it go, "Nothing, let's just eat and pretend he never said that."

Caradoc blinked confused before he decided to focus toward the full plates on the table of every assortment of food you could find. From roast chicken, lamb chops, sausages, steak, bread, boiled potatoes, fries, pudding, tart and other foods I've never seen that I'm pretty sure are enhanced in some way, because I'm not sure how soup rolls are physically possible.

But I got to say, they are delicious.

If only there were blue food, the dinner would have been perfect.

I then eyed a kid at the corner of my eye on the Gryffindor table who was waving a wand at his food, I blinked, surprised to find his casserole turning its shape into a small bunny and began laughing maniacally as he cut its head off, spitting red juice and meat out of the severed head. His peers seemed to find that morbid joke funny, either because it was some kind of inside joke or they just find cutting a bunny shaped food to be funny.

A sudden idea flashed inside me, and I turned to my two new friends. "Any of you knows a spell that could change color?"

Gwen and Caradoc turned to look at me in wonder before Doc (maybe I should call him that from now on) nervously said he knew one. Why he was looking nervous about it, I'm not sure.

I made a wide-grinned at him and asked if he could turn my lambchop into blue. One of the few foods I never thought I could find it in blue. Doc waved his wand in peculiar motion and while I didn't quite catch the spell he used, but it successfully turned it blue. I pumped my fist in the air in glee, and if Sev and Lily caught sight of my food, they would give me a fond smile as to why I was preppy.

"Doc, you are now my favorite Hufflepuff friend."

"Uhm, thanks Perc...wait...Doc?"

I ignored him and began to devour my blue meat in speed that could make Tantalos... proud. I've dreamed of this day happening, but I never thought I'd live to experience it. I was busy reliving my dream that I failed to notice the gasped those sat around me, and the echoed laughter from behind. "That is an interesting color you want for your meal."

I turned around and found myself a bit surprised at a pearly white transparent ghost floating behind me, he looked like a fat little monk, and he had a jolly smile with faint pink dimples. I found myself thinking whether he was truly a ghost or a Lares - a house god - because I found out the hard way they don't like being mixed up between those two.

"Oh pardon me, I haven't introduced myself, my name is Henry Francis Woodhead, and I welcome you all to my house Hufflepuff!"

"I know who you are," said Gwen. "My sister told me about you, you're the Fat Friar."

"Indeed, that nickname never leaves even though it's been more a thousand years since I've eaten, hohohohoho." The ghost called the Fat Friar left, phasing through the table and floated away.

I looked around, and somehow, I could tell those who are muggle-borns and not just from their expression. I looked back at the High Table and was curious about the kind of teachers there are currently.

"Hey Gwen, do you know the names of the teachers there? Preferably those I shouldn't try crossing." because gods forbid if I got expelled here before getting my quest done, making my first order of business is to make sure not to get any of the teacher's attention at me.

She swallowed down her drink and nodded. "Only a few, there's Professor McGonagall the Transfiguration Professor she's pretty strict, so you don't want to cross her. Professor Flitwick that teaches charms is the short one among them, and he's sort of laid back from what I heard. Professor Slughorn, who teaches potion, only cares those who excel his class and those associated with the ministry. Professor Hooch, I think you want to get on her good shoe if you have any interest in quidditch. Professor Sprout is our Herbology teacher and our House Head so you wouldn't have to worry much about her because she's practically the nicest teacher here. There are few other professors we wouldn't need to worry about them until our third year and the rest I forgot."

"I'm surprised you know that much from your sister, you must have been eager to learn here."

"You have no...idea..." she let out with barely concealed excitement.

After dinner went on for a while, the food and desserts disappeared, and Professor Dumbledore got to his feet again. The hall fell silent until only his voice rang out. "Ahem- just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered. I have a few start-of-term notices to give you."

"This year again, we'll have a new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher. Unfortunately, Professor Rotwood is not present for today's feast but will arrive by tomorrow for her first lesson."

"First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well. I have also been asked by Mr. Pringle, the caretaker, to remind you all that students are forbidden from the faculty areas unless given a permission slip so not to repeat a certain 'sandpit' incident." A few rounds of chuckles were heard throughout the hall from what I could guess being reminded of the event.

Oooooh, now I'm curious about it.

"Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of the term. Anyone interested in playing for their house teams should contact Madam Hooch."

"And now, before we go to bed, let us sing the school song!" cried Dumbledore. The other teachers' smiles became rather fixed at his announcement. Dumbledore gave his wand a little flick, as if he was trying to get a fly off at the end, and a long golden ribbon flew out of it, which rose high above the tables and twisted itself, snakelike, into words.

You know I never believe they were actually bad songs, maybe some annoying at times or perhaps weird but never bad. How I was proven wrong at that moment that a song that bad could even exist, I think those from Apollo Cabin would have cried for shame to let it such a song live, not to mention sung. Moreover, Dumbledore looked pleased for some reason, as if nothing was more enjoyable than singing the song.

It's official, that old man is bonkers.

Once that was over, Conall and another sixth-year girl then round up all of us, first years, and lead us off down the stairs to a corridor, passing a larger than life painting of a fruit bowl toward a large pile of barrels. Stacked at the shadowy right side of the hallway. Conall began tapping one of the barrels in rhythm before revealing a sloping earth passage inside.

A sloping, earthy passage inside the barrel travels a little way upwards until a cozy, round, low-ceilinged room is revealed, reminiscent of a badger's set. The place is decorated in the cheerful, bee-like colors of yellow and black, emphasized by the use of highly polished, honey-colored wood for the tables.

A colorful profusion of plants and flowers seem to relish the atmosphere of the Hufflepuff common room: various cacti stand on circular wooden shelves, many of them waving and dancing at passers-by, while copper-bottomed plant holders dangling amid the ceiling cause tendrils of ferns and ivies to brush your hair as you pass under them.

A portrait over the wooden mantelpiece shows a plump woman in black dress and a witch hat. Her face showed a bright warm smile, carrying a wand on one hand, and a cup on the other. I was stunned a bit when the portrait move because-well moving portrait was a first-the plump woman beamed at us with her smile, "Welcome, welcome to Hufflepuff and to your new home."

"Everyone, that's Helga Hufflepuff. One of the four founders of Hogwarts." Conall introduced us, which to Helga waved to us in respond. Some of the first years nervously wave back at the portrait. "While she may not be the real thing, do treat her some respect."

Conall directed the girls to one round door on the right while the boys to the left. Me, Doc, and three other first years found our room that had our trunks. Sophia was getting restless inside her cage since she hasn't had her meal, and I quickly made to get it to her.

Once we all changed to our pajamas, we went fast asleep after a long day and woke up the next day, thanking the gods (or just Hecate) for the dreamless sleep I had.


AN: Hello! there, author here would like to apologize for giving you such a tease cliffhanger.

...

Who am I kidding, I love how you all suffer from it HA! If you think I'm a devil, then guess what? I take that as a compliment.

Anyway...I'm here to tell you that if you are wondering why I choose Hufflepuff. You can check out my fanfic Sorting Percy Jackson by analyzing his would be choices by using the Pottermore Quiz. It's not an accurate choice maker, but it was really fun making it! Check it out if you want.