"Man's nature is not essentially evil. Brute nature has been known to yield to the influence of love. You must never despair of human nature." –Mahatma Gandhi

Chapter Eleven: What Lies Beyond

Dinner is crowded.

Or at least, Willa and I's dinner was busy. It doesn't seem too long ago it had been just Willa and I on our own. Now Connie sits on Lucas' lap talking and laughing with Tyler while Samuel and Jayce engage in a heated discussion next to me. I don't know what but their passion to out smart each other was charmingly amusing.

It was a larger crowd than I'm accustomed to. But the foreign feeling of friends surrounding me feels more uplifting than it does constricting like it usually does.

Though I smile and nod here and there, mindlessly in their conversations, my mind has drifted onto the various topics that have become my obsessions lately; Eric and his puzzle, Cleo and her goons, my mother, and if I will make it through Initiation.

It isn't good to dwell so much on these things and I know I should focus in on my relationship with my friends; but I just can't. As I bite into my burger I scan the cafeteria. Cleo sits with her arm wrapped around Lamarck. Seems she really has moved on. Lucky her.

In the corner of the cafeteria is where I truly find my attention drawn. Four stands next to Tris in what seems like an argument forced to a quiet whisper. I can see Four reach out towards Tris only for her to shake her head in disappointment. Four nods knowingly before Tris looks up at him with a sad look and says something more before walking away. It looks like an average couple fighting, but my curiosity has me thinking differently. Watching Tris as she walks out of the cafeteria, I have a strong urge to follow.

I get up, taking my half eaten food with me. "Where are you going?" Connie asks, interrupting her conversation with Tyler.

"I just have something to do, real quick." I say and turn back to look for Tris, afraid I lost her already.

"Want me to come?" Willa asks.

I shake my head, how could I ever give this an explanation? 'Sorry I feel like sleuthing lately?' "No it is fine, it will be quick." I say and leave before they can ask anything more.

Exiting the cafeteria and searching around the Pit for Tris, I see her in the tattoo parlor. I try to seem as inconspicuous as possible as I drift over. Entering, I see Tris quickly look over at me before her and the tattoo woman leave to go into one of the separate rooms, shutting the door firmly behind them. What were they talking about that could be so private? I wasn't even aware Tris was close to the tattoo woman, Tori I believe.

Pretending to look at the different plaques of tattoos, I keep a close watch on the room from my peripheral. As soon as the door opens once more and they exchange goodbyes I can't help but turn around to look at them before quickly turning back to the different designs. Detective work isn't for me.

"Thinking of getting a tattoo?" A sweet sounding voice says behind me, I jump around to see Tris standing behind me with a warm smile that I quickly return. She was a pretty girl, blonde hair and small but toned frame. I can see what Four saw in her. She is a beauty, and apparently really friendly as well. A slight guilt from following her bites away at the bottom of my chest.

"I was looking, I have a small one- behind my ear." I say and move my hair aside to show her. She nods and smiles.

"It's nice, Cal right?" I nod; surprised to hear she knew my name. Apparently it shows on my face as well. "Sorry, I know just about all the transfers from Four, I'm Tris." She says with a slanted smile.

I nod in response, wary of her outgoingness with me. Had she known I was attempting to listen in to her conversation? Or had she seen me staring in the cafeteria?
"Walk with me, Cal." She says suddenly and I nod and follow her out of the parlor, positive now that she knows. "Cal is short for something right?" I look at Tris in confusion. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me, I'm guilty of shortening my name as well. What's the point in changing lives if you keep the old name, right?" She says as I follow her down an unfamiliar path off of the Pit.

"Why are you being so friendly?" I say quickly before I can regret it.

Tris sighs. "You're a very curious girl, and hardworking I hear too. I guess people like us always have to work a little hard to prove ourselves, but trust me once you get in things become much easier. People soon forget that you're the 'Abnegation girl' or in your case the 'Amity girl'. Same goes for your friend as well, I picture her excelling in the second stage."

"You're being nice because I'm from Amity?" It was better than the alternative of her realizing my intentions.

"You make it sound bad." Tris says and I gave a nervous laugh and shrug.

"Sorry, lately I've just been saying the first thing I think of." And doing the first thing that comes to mind as well. "I know what you mean and it is very kind of you."
"Well I'll admit that isn't the only reason."
I stop walking to look up at her. "Then why?"

Tris sighs, looking around before glancing up at the cameras. "Have you been by the Chasm?"

"Huh?" I ask before realizing that she could be trying to tell me something that shouldn't be heard by others, the rushing of water enough of a cover for unwanted ears. "Oh, I haven't been in a while."
"Come on I'll show you." Tris says before directing down a narrow staircase. The winding path seems endless until I hear the faint echo of crashing water so become the overpowering noise I remember from my previous visit, all the way back on my first day here. I shiver at the memory and flinch at the sickening feeling the place gave me. Now I find myself apathetic to the place's dark history.

"So, you were saying why…?" I ask turning around to face Tris, keeping close so that we can hear each other.

Her eyes dart around the room. "Cal, you are from Amity so I know public matters, especially the negative things, aren't exactly so public but you must see now- things are a little tense. Right?" I nod, there were articles all the time concerning if Abnegation should be in charge and other controversial topics.

"I'm aware."
"So you know things aren't always as calm between Factions as the leaders would like to have us believing." Her body behavior seems unaffected, but her eyes silently speak to me in a way that no one but someone up close could notice, the only thing giving away our conversation as serious.

"What about it?"
"What did you see at the Fence today?" Was she referring to my mother, could she possibly know? I fear the truth is shown across my face and quickly try to remain calm. Tyler was right;, I did absolutely nothing wrong. Just one exchange of love you, that's it. I am human after all.

"Fields?" I say shrugging.

"Just fields?"
"Yes!" I say feeling confused at where the conversation was heading, this wasn't what I was expecting.

"You were watching us today, and not how everyone else was. You knew it wasn't just some fight between us. You followed me didn't you?" I stand frozen, considering if I could just escape now, or possibly jump into the Chasm. "I'm not mad, I just see something in you. You are smart, but Four said you got Dauntless on your Aptitude Test."
"Yeah, I did. Being Dauntless doesn't make us stupid, right?" I ask, confused and trying to understand what my Aptitude Test had to do with anything. "Why does it matter?"

"Did you just get Dauntless?" She asks me with a caring and cautious look in her blue eyes that I just can't comprehend.

"Of course, it is impossible to get more than one result." What is going on here? I try to read her blue eyes, but maybe I'm just too accustomed to cold gray tinted ones to read her welcoming ones.

"Yeah, you're right." Tris says suddenly and I try to search for what caused the change, pinning it on my answer.

"Is it possible to get more than one?" Tris stares into the wall, her face crinkled in thought. "Tris?" Her eyes drift to the Chasm, almost with grief in them, before they flicker back to me.

"No, I was just thinking but I was wrong. You should probably get to bed. Tomorrow is going to be an early morning for you." Tris says quickly. "And if you get the chance to see the Fields again, which I imagine you will, take a second look at them. Really look."

I approach her, placing my hand on her arm to stop her from leaving. "What's out there?"

"I don't know, but we believe there is something more out there than fields."

I look at her appalled. "Who would have anything at there."
She gets close, closer than before; she wraps me in a hug that I don't understand until she whispers in my ear. "Erudite."

Wanting to ask more, I open my mouth but see in her eyes that I shouldn't. Instead I ask what had me standing to abandon dinner in the first place. "What were you talking about?"

"I told you, things are tense between the Factions. "
"What about the tattoo woman, or Tori? Why couldn't you discuss it in the open?"

"It isn't best to let everyone in on political issues." Tris says.

I pull back and watch as she begins to leave. Why did a tattoo illustrator care about politics? "Why bother telling me anything at all?" She sighs before coming closer.
Tris then stops and runs her fingers through her hair, pushing it behind her ear. "To tell you that you shouldn't be watching too closely. I'm not angry but some will take things the wrong way, if you see anything that seems suspicious again just ignore it. Pretend like you didn't notice it- focus on your friends and training. Have fun- don't worry about this."
"Why?"

"Just do it, Cal." She says with a dead serious lock to her features. "One transfer to another?" The corner of her mouth curls up in a small, half-hearted grin.

"Okay."

I put my hands into my pockets and walk towards the hallway, knowing I won't get anything else out of her. As I pass by, I feel her arm latch onto my wrist and stop me from leaving. She whispers, "And please, try to avoid people like Eric, he might seem bad but trust me that's just half of it."
"He's my instructor it is kind of hard." Does she know about my strange conservations with Eric?

"Just try." I nod slowly and I see a strange sense of relief wash over her features as she lets me go. "Good luck, Cal, I hope you and your friend do well here. I really do."
"Thank you." I say and quickly leave, my mind trying to process this new information. I had hoped for answers but it feels like I've just been left with more questions. Why bother warning me about Eric? Every Initiate knew of the threat he could pose.

'We believe there is something more out there than just fields.' Could it be possible that Erudite was hiding something from the other Factions? And how has it gone unnoticed by other Factions?

Unless it hasn't, but the only Faction leaders that would have to be in on it… Dauntless? If the Dauntless leaders knew then that would give the Erudite access to the Fence and the outside world. If what Tris suggested is true they would have to know, there is no other way Erudite could get outside. But what is out there they want? Or what could they be hiding? It felt wrong to consider.

Eric would know- he's a leader. He could've approved of it; let it all happen. A sudden guilt for the strange emotions surrounding him sets in. I need to clear my head. Get in some physical activity. It busies my mind; I need a busy mind so desperately.

Heading to the training room, I can hear the sound of movement bouncing off the corridor leading to the open door. I know who is in there. Some part of me wondered, but the rational part figured it just wouldn't add up. Why would he be here a second day? Doesn't he have a job?

Tris' warning stops me before I can enter the room. Maybe I should take heed of that advisory statement. If Erudite were doing something out there, that would make both Dauntless and Erudite traitors.

But I want to be in there, I don't want to turn around and leave. Something is keeping me here and egging me on- almost glad he has returned, a yearning in my chest.

Walking slowly into the training room I watch Eric as he stands at the knife range, a blade flies through the air and digs itself into the center of the target. "You're here again?" I say. My hands tightened in anxiety. I didn't want to just creep in undetected- that would just look like I'm stalking him.

A loud clink of metal as Eric drops the knife once held in his fist fills the silence. He turns around in irritation until he sees me and scoffs, chuckling to himself over some personal joke. I shift my weight, uncomfortable to be the subject of this private humor.

"And so are you."

"I've actually been coming in here for a while now." I say, trying to defend myself. That fear he'll think I'm following him or chasing after him returns in paranoia but I then worry it sounds like I'm bragging. I can't do anything right.

The moment of silence between responses is eerie. I notice the lack of lighting in the room, only half the lights turned on, the dust particles float in the spotlight. "I guess that explains why you suddenly got good."

Feeling confident, I respond with ease. "I also happened to get some good advice on how to end a fight."
"What do you want, more help?" He asks, though I see him get a satisfied grin on his face from my comment.

I shake my head quickly but then pause, considering. "I just came to train, but if you're offering it."

"You never did practice your knife skills." He says with an amused sneer as I approach him with the caution one would a beast of prey. I flinch at the reminder of my racing heart when things got too close the previous evening.

"I realized I had something to do."

"Not too urgent though, right?" That knowing look, once so frightening is now so intriguing.

"I got curious."
Our conversations have become a series of witty comments, something I didn't know I was capable of and something I hadn't ever thought of saying to the intimidating man before me.

"Wonder why." It feels more like a rhetorical question, said silently as if a bit of inner dialogue slipped out. I pretend to not hear. "If I help you, you have to promise to not be terrible. I don't give extra help to someone just for them to be a disappointment."

"I promise not to suck." I say, trying to remind myself whom I was with and to take it seriously. He was being serious. Picking up a knife, I turn it in my hand before getting into position. Eric's hands quickly find my shoulders and adjust, kicking my one foot out to widen my stance. But I notice a separation between our two bodies. Where he once had been pressed up against me there was at least six inches between us.

My nerves were glad for this, but the empty space almost felt cold. How did I go from being so fearful of being touched to feeling saddened by its absence? Once I'm positioned to his liking, Eric steps away and is off me completely. I tense up my muscles and aim.

The knife lands no more than ten inches from the very center of the target. I feel a personal satisfaction at this improvement, amazed at my improvement, but know it won't be good enough for my harsh critic.

"Now hit the center." His voice doesn't sound as cruel as it once did, more pressing as if he wants to see if I can hit that very center.

My hand snatches up another knife, a foot away from that pesky center, worse. I attempt to contain my nerves and pick up the third knife. Tensing my muscles and releasing it into the air, closest yet, but it isn't the center.

Unable to control my frustration, I groan and reach for the next blade but have a large hand stop me. "Cool down there flower child. Pointless irritation is only good if you know how to channel it, and from the looks of it, you don't. Focus." Eric says before his hand and the warmth it brought slips from my own.

I nod and slowly pick up the fourth blade. My mind wavers for a few moments as I center in my thoughts, lining up my aim for the center.

No more than three. I smirk in accomplishment. "Now the center." Eric says from beside me and I nod, picking up the fifth and last knife on the ledge in front of us.

Focus, focus in the irritation. Just use a bit, not too much…

And smack! The metal lodges itself into the center of the target, no more than a centimeter or so off. A sense of victory pools in my stomach as I look to Eric. "Now do it again." He says before getting a new batch of knives.

I nod, and get started.

By the end of it, I knew it was getting late from the mere numb state my arms were in. This had to be going on long- it almost felt like it would be best to just shower and dress for the next day of training. As I put away the knives and return them to the places, I feel a watchful stare on me.

When I glance up to meet Eric's gaze, he doesn't look away. But his stare doesn't hold the usual intensity that I find so hard to escape. Of course there was still that constant underlying cruelty and harshness, but the surface was just blank. Thoughtful at best, like he was considering something so strongly it took all of his mental capacity. Did he even realize he has been staring at me?

"Thank you for the help." I say to fill the silence. Though I really am grateful, despite the intensity I'll leave here tonight immensely.

Eric doesn't respond to my thanks other the a small noise, his arms folded as he continues to stare me down, the weight of it heavy and the feeling as if someone had dipped me in flames. I continue to clean up.
"I think I'm going to head back, go to bed." I tell him once I'm finished returning the room to how I found it.

"Did I ask?" The harshness isn't a rarity to hear on Eric's voice, especially when it comes to others, but why does it feel so shocking to hear now?

I nod in silence and try not to linger, leaving the room feeling a strange sense of confusion. I'm halfway through the first hallway with a clouded mind when a pair of hands grab onto my shoulders.


A/N- Thanks to everyone reading/favoriting/review/following and such! You guys rock :) This chapter was supposed to be out Friday but I had to take this medicine that made my head super foggy and no one should be editing with a foggy mind, that would not go well. And I know this chapter didn't have a lot of Eric but the next chapter definitely will.