A/N: A life-changing conversation with Cragen.
DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and characters, but he certainly didn't create 'em like this. TStabler© did. Story and contents belong to her. Thanks.
Olivia and Elliot walked into the squadroom, coffee in hand. They put down their jackets and immediately headed for Cragen's door. Olivia sipped her coffee and looked at Elliot, sternly. He sighed as he knocked on the door. He heard Cragen say, "Come in," so he opened the door and in they went.
The captain gave Olivia a soft look and a small smile, thinking about how muvh she really did look like her mother, then shot Elliot a harsh glare, thinking about how he must have violated her little girl. "I have questions," he said, turning and leaning against his desk. "I need answers. I want to know everything. How did this start? What, uh, how has this worked? What the hell does the ring on Olivia's finger mean? I mean, please, I need to know if having an affair was...all this was. And I would like you to tell me the truth."
Olivia sipped her coffee as she sat down and scoffed. "I don't see how this is any of your business," she spat bitterly. "And what difference does it make? You're splitting us up, right? That's what this is about."
Cragen shook his head. "No, it's not. Olivia it makes a difference to me, as your father. And as your father and captain, it is my business. Now, please, I need to hear this. How and when did this, uh, thing start?" He said the word "thing" as if he were talking about a boil or wart. With severe disgust.
Elliot sat next to Olivia, took her hand, squeezed gently, and said, "With a kiss, four and a half years ago. I always say five, she always corrects me," he chuckled. "Our first kiss was at a bar, the night Cassidy quit. We, uh, both blamed the alcohol I guess, because we pretended nothing happened for two weeks after that. But there was so much tension between us." He brushed the hair out of Olivia's eyes, smiled softly at her, and said, "Then one night, we were here, working, and we had an incredibly tense moment. We just looked at each other and everything came to complete stop. We moved, we kissed, for a long time actually. That was when this became a real relationship, or what you're calling an affair."
Cragen narrowed his eyes. "You kiss and then that night...wait. You slept..."
"No," Elliot interrupted, meeting Cragen's eyes and shaking his head. "We didn't."
Cragen looked confused as he tilted his head. "But you just said..."
"I took her to dinner the next night," Elliot said. "We talked for hours, about what we felt for each other and how long we'd been feeling it. We talked about what we wanted and needed, what we were gonna do about it. We decided to start, uh, I guess you could call it seeing each other. Dating. I feel like a kid talking about his first girlfriend," he laughed. "It took a lot of lunches, and dinners, and movies before we even moved passed kissing. There were intimate moments, sure, but it wasn't...there wasn't any real..."
"Three months," Olivia interjected. "It was three months of dating, kissing, light touching, before sex was even an issue. It wasn't like every other relationship, if that's even what they were, that I've ever had. This, from the beginning, was a real 'I'm-in-love' relationship. We took it slow, for the first time in our lives."
Cragen's eyes were wide with surprise. "So you..."
"Took our time," Elliot interrupted. "We spent a lot of time just loving each other, enjoying each other, falling deeper into each other. We were making sure we weren't going to destroy or complicate our relationship if we took that next step. I was making sure she wasn't going to run, and she was making sure I wasn't going to leave in the morning. I'm not gonna give you details, but that first night, God, I didn't even know what real sex was until that night."
Cragen made a small, grimacing face. "Got it, thanks." He shook his head, then glared at Elliot and continued, "So you left in the middle of the night, right? Went home to your wife? Left her there to wake up alone?"
Olivia laughed bitterly. "You are really...I woke up wrapped in his arms, if you really wanna know. He cooked breakfast and we spent the day in bed. We spent the night with the kids, before I pretended to leave, then walked back in and spent the night in bed with him, again," she spat through gritted teeth. "Why the hell am I defending my relationship to you, here?"
Cragen, frustrated, threw his arms up. "Because it wasn't a relation..."
"Yes! It was!" Olivia yelled, standing up and putting her coffee down. "The only real, meaningful relationship I've ever had! The only time I ever feel loved, wanted, needed, is when I'm with him! I've been with him, helping him raise his kids, loving him...I've been treated like a fucking princess, which I don't deserve, for the last, God, almost five years!" She looked down at her hand, and smirked. "And this ring," she spat, sliding it off of her right hand and onto her left, "Is exactly what you think it is!"
"Oh, my God," Cragen gasped, standing up straighter. "Olivia, think about this! You're coming in second, here. Everything he has to offer you, he's already given to someone else! Is he really worth throwing your life and your career away? What about kids? He already has four! One is almost eighteen! He's not gonna want a baby, Olivia! He doesn't deserve you! You deserve to be the first and only in someone's life! With him, that's never gonna happen! He's only gonna hurt..."
"Damn it, Don!" Elliot barked. "What the fuck are you talking about? What the hell do you think she is? She is the first! She is the first and only person I have ever loved like this, so fucking completely. I have given her everything, all of me, parts of my life and myself that Kathy never got! We talked about kids, Don, and ya know what, pal? We want them! A lot of them!" He took a step closer to Cragen and narrowed his eyes. "You were right about one thing, though. I don't deserve her, I know that. But I love her, so fucking much, and she, for reasons I will never fully understand, loves me. She loves me! I don't know why, but she does! If you honestly believe that I would ever, ever hurt her, then you have your head further up your ass than I thought."
Olivia, eyeing Elliot with love in her pools of dark chocolate, smiled. Then her scowl came back and she turned toward Cragen. She pointed and said, "And my career? You asked if he was worth throwing my career away, the answer's yes. God, yes!" she yelled. "I love my job, more than I should, but I love him and those four little angels so much more. I love my life with him. Hell, he is my life!" She unclipped her badge and clutched it in her hands. "If you're threatening to fire one of us over this, then don't bother. I'll make it easy for you!" She unholstered her gun, and stepped closer to Cragen's desk.
Elliot gasped. "Baby, no!" he cried.
"Don't," Cragen yelled, holding out a hand to stop her. "Please, don't," he whispered. "I didn't mean that. I just wanted...I don't see how none of this bothers...he had a wife and kids, Olivia. How did you put up with waiting for him for four and a half years?"
Elliot rushed over, took the gun and badge out of her hands, and placed them back on her hip, pulling her close when he was done. "Don't scare me like that again, baby," he whispered into her ear. Then he looked up at Cragen. "She never had to wait for me. Kathy was never home," he said. "Olivia was more of a mother, more of a wife...I didn't have a life with Kathy. My life lies only with Liv, and it has, pretty much since we met. I swear to you, she was never, ever, treated like the other woman, or some thing on the side. She always has, and always will, come first."
Cragen sighed and smiled. "Thank you," he said. "I needed to hear that." He took a step closer to Olivia. "I couldn't stand thinking that this was just..." He paused, seeing the anger and hurt in her eyes. "You're happy. You're in love with someone who, clearly, loves you very much. You're getting married, and as your father, I couldn't be happier. But as your captain..."
Elliot interrupted. "Chief Monahan doesn't have a problem with us. Tucker saw us last night and didn't do anything! Can't you just let..."
"No," Cragen interrupted. "As long as I'm your captain, I can't be the father she needs me to be. I can't be worrying about when I'm going to have to split you up, when it's gonna be too much and I'll have to fire one of you. When she gets pregnant I'm not going to be able to let her do her job, because I'm way too emotionally involved, and she'll resent me. The only way to make this easy on all of is..." Again, he stopped, took Olivia's hand and said, "I've made a decision, Olivia. But you need to answer a question for me before I make that decision final. Do you want me in your life? As your father?"
Olivia looked back into his eyes and without thinking she answered him. "Yes," she whispered. "But I don't..."
Cragen interrupted her. "We'll work on it then," he said, smiling at her. "Sunday night, you and Elliot, dinner at Sardi's. Bring the kids." He moved to his desk, signed a few documents, picked them up and headed for the door. "I do love you, Olivia. Very much. And Elliot, you've always been like a son to me, so it's only fitting that, now, soon, you really will be." He nodded at them both and opened the door, leaving the room.
Olivia looked up at Elliot, confused. "What the hell just happened here?"
Elliot let go of her and walked toward Cragen's desk, picking up a sheet of paper he left behind. He read it and inhaled sharply. "Christ, Liv!"
Olivia turned to him and raised an eyebrow.
Elliot walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her. He squeezed and said, "Cragen just transferred."
A/N: What? For real? Where did he go? Who's the new captain at SVU? And what truth comes out during that dinner? Review, if you'd like to find out! Here, or on Twitter TMG212. Thanks for reading, and keeping this story going! I love you all. Honest.
