Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling


Christmas morning dawned, cold and white.

"Presents!" squealed Draco, and Hermione giggled as she thought of how much he sounded like a girl. Daphne and Theo sent her books. Pansy sent her a beautiful dress. It was for the summer solstice, when the Malfoys were holding another dinner since they couldn't hold the Christmas one. Blaise sent her a thin silver choker with a diamond pendant on it, and Hermione had gaped at how expensive it looked. Draco sent her Potion ingredients and boxes of healing balms.

Christmas dinner was amazing. The Great Hall looked magnificent. Not only were there a dozen frost-covered Christmas trees and thick streamers of holly and mistletoe crisscrossing the ceiling, but enchanted snow was falling, warm and dry, from the ceiling. Dumbledore led them in a few of his favorite carols, Hagrid booming more and more loudly with every goblet of eggnog he consumed.

"Drunkard." Draco sneered.

"Have you seen Potter and Weasley's sweater." Hermione remarked.

They were ugly. Large and Lumpy with horrible colors and they all looked too large.

"Weasley's get them every year." said Elan.

"Where are they?" Hermione asked in the common room, worried about Crabbe and Goyle.

"Let's go look for them. I want to show them this." said Draco, and the two hurried out. Finally, they found him, and Draco started to speak.

"There you are," he drawled, looking at them. "Have you two been pigging out in the Great Hall all this time? I've been looking for you; I want to show you something really funny."

Draco glanced witheringly at Percy.

"And what're you doing down here, Weasley?" he sneered.

Percy looked outraged.

"You want to show a bit more respect to a school prefect!" he said. "I don't like your attitude!"

Draco sneered and motioned for Crabbe and Goyle to follow him. "That Peter Weasley-"

"Percy," Crabbe corrected.

"Whatever," said Malfoy. "I've noticed him sneaking around a lot lately. And I bet I know what he's up to. He thinks he's going to catch Slytherin's heir single-handed."

He gave a short, derisive laugh.

Malfoy paused by a stretch of bare, damp stone wall.

"What's the new password again?" he said.

"Pureblood." said Hermione.

"Oh, yeah - pure-blood!" said Malfoy. "Thanks Mione."

The Slytherin common room was a long, low underground room with rough stone walls and ceiling from which round, greenish lamps were hanging on chains. A fire was crackling under an elaborately carved mantelpiece ahead of them, and several Slytherins were silhouetted around it in high-backed chairs.

"Wait here," said Malfoy to Crabbe and Goyle, motioning them to a pair of empty chairs set back from the fire. "I'll go and get it my father's just sent it to me-"

Malfoy came back a minute later, holding what looked like a newspaper clipping. "That'll give you a laugh," he said.

Harry saw Ron's eyes widen in shock. He read the clipping quickly, gave a very forced laugh, and handed it to Harry.

It had been clipped out of the Daily Prophet , and it said:

INQUIRY AT THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC

By Jessie Lynch

Arthur Weasley, Head of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office, was today fined fifty Galleons for bewitching a Muggle car. Along with this, he was demoted to the centaur liaison office.

Mr. Lucius Malfoy, a governor of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where the enchanted car crashed earlier this year, called today for Mr. Weasley's resignation. "Weasley has brought the Ministry into disrepute," Mr. Malfoy told our reporter. "He is clearly unfit to draw up our laws and his ridiculous Muggle Protection Act should be scrapped immediately."

"Honestly," scoffed Undersecretary Umbridge. "He should know better. Maybe he will learn better in the Centaur office."

Mr. Weasley was unavailable for comment, although his wife told reporters to clear off or she'd set the family ghoul on them.

"Well?" said Malfoy impatiently as Goyle handed the clipping back to him. "Don't you think it's funny?"

"Ha, ha," said Goyle bleakly.

"Arthur Weasley loves Muggles so much he should snap his wand in half and go and join them," said Malfoy scornfully. "You'd never know the Weasleys were pure-bloods, the way they behave."

Crabbe's - face was contorted with fury.

"What's up with you, Crabbe?" snapped Malfoy.

"Stomachache," Ron grunted.

"Well, tell Hermione and she'll help you. said Malfoy. "You know, I'm surprised the Daily Prophet hasn't reported all these attacks yet," he went on thoughtfully. "I suppose Dumbledore's trying to hush it all up. He'll be sacked if it doesn't stop soon. Father's always said old Dumbledore's the worst thing that's ever happened to this place. I really should tell father about the attacks."

He dropped his hands and looked at Harry and Ron.

"What's the matter with you two?"

"They're fat from all the eating." commented Hermione.

"Saint Potter, the Mudbloods friend," said Malfoy slowly. "He's another one with no proper wizard feeling, or he wouldn't go around with that jumped up Moon Mudblood. And people think he's Slytherin's heir!"

Harry and Ron waited with bated breath: Malfoy was surely seconds away from telling them it was him - but then "I wish I knew who it is," said Malfoy petulantly. "I could tell them not to attack Mione and to attack the others."

Crabbe looked even more clueless than usual. Fortunately, Malfoy didn't notice.

"You must have some idea who's behind it all." said Goyle.

"You know I haven't, Goyle, how many times do I have to tell you?" snapped Malfoy. "And Father won't tell me anything about the last time the Chamber was opened either. Of course, it was fifty years ago, so it was before his time, but he knows all about it, and he says that it was all kept quiet and it'll look suspicious if I know too much about it. But I know one thing - last time the Chamber of Secrets was opened, a Mudblood died. So I bet it's a matter of time before one of them's killed this time... I hope it's Moon," he said with relish.

Goyle said, "D'you know if the person who opened the Chamber last time was caught?" Hermione was watching them suspiciously, before she pulled something out of her bag.

"Oh, yeah... whoever it was was expelled," said Malfoy. "They're probably still in Azkaban."

"Azkaban?" said Goyle, puzzled.

"Azkaban - the wizard prison, Goyle," said Malfoy, looking at him in disbelief "Honestly, if you were any slower, you'd be going backward."

He shifted restlessly in his chair and said, "Father says to keep my head down and let the Heir of Slytherin get on with it. He says the school needs ridding of all the Mudblood filth, but not to get mixed up in it. Of course, he's got a lot on his plate at the moment. You know the Ministry of Magic raided our manor last week?"

"Yeah..." said Draco. "Luckily, they didn't find much. Father's got some very valuable Dark Arts stuff. But luckily, we've got our own secret chamber under the drawing-room floor-"

"Ho!" said Crabbe.

They both jumped to their feet.

"Medicine for the stomach." grunted Crabbe, who was starting to look weird. Hermione shot a look at Elan and he blocked the doorway.

"I have medicine right here!" she said, waving a small bottle.

"How do we know it'll work." Goyle grunted, shrinking.

"Honestly." said Hermione, rolling her eyes. "I've given you medicine so much. Don't you trust me?" she gave them a fake pouty face.

Before the two could say more, they both turned into Potter and Weasley.

"What?!" Draco shrieked, jumping up.

"Just as I thought." Hermione smirked, looking at their scared faces.

"No matter what you think, Crabbe and Goyle aren't actually stupid. It's just an act. I knew something was wrong after you asked about the Chamber."

"What should we do?" asked Chastity.

"Elan, can you go with Marcus and look for Vince and Greg. Draco and I will go with these two to Professor Snape." she had an evil grin on her face.

Slowly, they began the trek to his office.

"Drakon." said Hermione to a painting of a basilisk, and the portrait swung open.

"Yes Miss Granger?" asked Professor Snape.

"Professor," began Hermione, "We found Potter and Weasley in our common room. They used Polyjuice Potion to disguise themselves as Crabbe and Goyle. We don't know where Vince and Greg are now." she said.

"How, pray tell, did you dunderheads get the ingredients." Snape asked.

Both boys looked down. Draco snapped his fingers. "That explosion with the swelling solution! It must have been a distraction!"

"Very well." Snape said, a small evil smile gracing his lips. "That will be 100 points from each of you, along with 2 months worth of detention. Potter will serve with Lockhart, and Weasley with me. Now we are going to Dumbledore's.

As they walked along the corridor, Elan came by levitating Crabbe and Goyle.

"Professor!" he exclaimed. "Vincent and Gregory are hurt. They hit their heads on the closet and have bruises."

"That will be another 25 points from each of you for harming students."

"Here." whispered Hermione, healing them.

They marched in silence around a corner and stopped before a large and extremely ugly stone gargoyle.

"Lemon drop!" he said. This was evidently a password, because the gargoyle sprang suddenly to life and hopped aside as the wall behind him split in two. What kind of password was lemon drop? Though she hated the man, Hermione was amazed. Behind the wall was a spiral staircase that was moving smoothly upward, like an escalator. As everyone stepped onto it, Hermione heard the wall thud closed behind them. They rose upward in circles, higher and higher, until at last, slightly dizzy, Hermione saw a gleaming oak door ahead, with a brass knocker in the shape of a griffin.

They entered his office. It was a large and beautiful circular room, full of funny little noises. A number of curious silver instruments stood on spindle legged tables, whirring and emitting little puffs of smoke. The walls were covered with portraits of old headmasters and headmistresses, all of whom were snoozing gently in their frames. There was also an enormous, claw-footed desk, and, sitting on a shelf behind it, a shabby, tattered wizard's hat - the Sorting Hat. Standing on a perch in the corner was a beautiful phoenix with red and golden feathers.

"Hello Severus. For what do I owe the pleasure?" Dumbledore asked pleasantly.

"I want Potter banned from Quidditch for the rest of the year." Snape snarled.

Dumbledore slowly took off his glasses and stared. "Why?"

"Potter endangered two of my students, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, by knocking them out and stuffing them in a broom closet. They were bruised and being covered by a mop, Crabbe was nearly suffocated. On top of that, these two are responsible for the Swelling Solution incident which hurt many of my students. They also stole ingredients from my Potions cupboard and used to to impersonate Crabbe and Goyle with Polyjuice Potion."

"Is this true?" Dumbledore asked, staring at the two boys. They fidgeted, before Potter looked up.

"Yes." he muttered.

"I don't believe a Quidditch ban is necessary, Severus."

Snape turned pallied. "They endangered the lives of two of my students." he snarled.

"But they weren't hurt. I do believe you have already taken points."

"125 from each of them and 2 months of detention." Snape snarled.

"Very well." Dumbledore said, and looking at their gaping faces, Hermione felt vindication.

Lily Moon had disappeared into the hospital wing, and no one knew what was wrong with her. The sun had now begun to shine weakly on Hogwarts again. Inside the castle, the mood had grown more hopeful. There had been no more attacks since those on Justin and Nearly Headless Nick, and Madam Pomfrey was pleased to report that the Mandrakes were becoming moody and secretive, meaning that they were fast leaving childhood.

"The moment their acne clears up, they'll be ready for repotting again," Hermione heard her telling Filch kindly one afternoon. "And after that, it won't be long until we're cutting them up and stewing them. You'll have Mrs. Norris back in no time."

Perhaps the Heir of Slytherin had lost his or her nerve, thought Hermione. It must be getting riskier and riskier to open the Chamber of Secrets, with the school so alert and suspicious. Perhaps the monster, whatever it was, was even now settling itself down to hibernate for another fifty years...

Ernie Macmillan of Hufflepuff didn't take this cheerful view. He was still convinced that Potter was the guilty one, that he had "given himself away" at the Dueling Club. Peeves wasn't helping matters; he kept popping up in the crowded corridors singing "Oh, Potter, you rotter..." now with a dance routine to match. Draco had memorized it.

Gilderoy Lockhart seemed to think he himself had made the attacks stop. Hermione overheard him telling Professor McGonagall so while the Slytherins were lining up for Transfiguration. "I don't think there'll be any more trouble, Minerva," he said, tapping his nose knowingly and winking. "I think the Chamber has been locked for good this time. The culprit must have known it was only a matter of time before I caught him. Rather sensible to stop now, before I came down hard on him."

She rolled her eyes.

"You know, what the school needs now is a morale-booster. Wash away the memories of last term! I won't say any more just now, but I think I know just the thing..."

He tapped his nose again and strode off.

Lockhart's idea of a morale-booster became clear at breakfast time on February fourteenth. Hermione hadn't had much sleep because of a late-running Quidditch practice the night before when Draco had dislocated a finger, and she hurried down to the Great Hall, slightly late. She thought, for a moment, that she'd walked through the wrong doors.

The walls were all covered with large, lurid pink flowers. Worse still, heart-shaped confetti was falling from the pale blue ceiling. Hermione went over to the Slytherin table, where Theo was sitting looking sickened, and Pansy seemed to have been overcome with giggles.

"What's going on?" Hermione asked them, sitting down and wiping confetti off her cereal.

Blaise pointed to the teachers table, apparently too disgusted to speak. Lockhart, wearing lurid pink robes to match the decorations, was waving for silence. The teachers on either side of him were looking stony-faced. From where she sat, Hermione could see a muscle going in Professor McGonagall's cheek. Snape looked as though someone had just fed him a large beaker of Skele-Gro.

"Happy Valentine's Day!" Lockhart shouted. "And may I thank the forty-six people who have so far sent me cards! Yes, I have taken the liberty of arranging this little surprise for you all - and it doesn't end here!"

Lockhart clapped his hands and through the doors to the entrance hall marched a dozen surly-looking dwarfs. Not just any dwarfs, however. Lockhart had them all wearing golden wings and carrying harps.

Hermione stifled a laugh at how absurd they looked.

"My friendly, card-carrying cupids!" beamed Lockhart. "They will be roving around the school today delivering your valentines! And the fun doesn't stop here! I'm sure my colleagues will want to enter into the spirit of the occasion! Why not ask Professor Snape to show you how to whip up a Love Potion! And while you're at it, Professor Flitwick knows more about Entrancing Enchantments than any wizard I've ever met, the sly old dog!"

Professor Flitwick buried his face in his hands. Snape was looking as though the first person to ask him for a Love Potion would be force-fed poison.

Hermione was doing her best not to burst into laughter. Her face was red at this point and she was sure she looked strange.

All day long, the dwarfs kept barging into their classes to deliver valentines, to the annoyance of the teachers, and late that afternoon as the Slytherins were walking upstairs for Charms, one of the dwarfs caused a commotion.

"Oy, you! Arry Potter!" shouted a particularly grim-looking dwarf, elbowing people out of the way to get to Harry.

Harry tried to escape. The dwarf, however, cut his way through the crowd by kicking people's shins, and reached him before he'd gone two paces.

"I've got a musical message to deliver to Arry Potter in person," he said, twanging his harp in a threatening sort of way.

Potter struggled and tried to escape.

"Stay still!" grunted the dwarf, grabbing hold of Harry's bag and pulling him back.

"Let me go!" Harry snarled, tugging.

With a loud ripping noise, his bag split in two. His books, wand, parchment, and quill spilled onto the floor and his ink bottle smashed over everything.

Harry scrambled around, trying to pick it all up before the dwarf started singing, causing something of a holdup in the corridor.

"What's going on here?" Draco drawled, surrounded by Hermione, Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy, Daphne, Theo, and Blaise.

"What's all this commotion?" said another familiar voice as Percy Weasley arrived.

Harry tried to make a run for it, but the dwarf seized him around the knees and brought him crashing to the floor. Hermione laughed out loud at the sight.

"Right," he said, sitting on Harry's ankles. "Here is your singing valentine:

His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,

His hair is as dark as a blackboard,

I wish he was mine,

he's really divine,

The hero who conquered the Dark Lord

Hermione burst into laughter, barely noticing that Theo was leaning on her in his laughter so he didn't fall down.

"Off you go, off you go, the bell rang five minutes ago, off to class, now," Percy said, shooing some of the younger students away. "And you, Malfoy-"

"Look." Draco whispered, leaning down to pick up a small black diary from Potter's bag.

"Give that back," said Harry quietly.

"Wonder what Potter's written in this?" said Draco. A hush fell over the onlookers.

"Hand it over, Malfoy," said Percy sternly.

"When I've had a look," said Draco, waving the diary tauntingly at Harry.

Percy said, "As a school prefect -" but Harry had lost his temper. He pulled out his wand and shouted, "Expelliarmus!" and just as Snape had disarmed Lockhart, so Malfoy found the diary shooting out of his hand into the air. Ron, grinning broadly, caught it.

"Harry!" said Percy loudly. "No magic in the corridors. I'll have to report this, you know!"

But Harry didn't care, he was one-up on Malfoy, and that was worth five points from Gryffindor any day. Malfoy was looking furious, and as Ginny passed him to enter her classroom, he yelled spitefully after her, "I don't think Potter liked your valentine much!"

"You're not supposed to use magic!" Hermione exclaimed.

"It doesn't matter." Daphne soothed her. "They barely have 100 points thanks to the 250 point loss. Oliver Wood is furious because Professor Snape is scheduling all his detentions on the days of Quidditch Practice."

That day in her Potion lesson, Hermione was making the Strengthening Solution. Then Potter entered.

"Good." said Snape. "Potter clean out the cauldrons."

Hermione stifled a giggle. These were her dirty cauldrons, all filthy from Potion making. With a groan and a glare, he set to work.

"Miss Granger, you need to cut your flobberworms more evenly." Snape said, and with a nod, Hermione set to slowly recutting her flobberworms.

Soon it was Spring and Hermione was getting ready to choose her electives.

"Care of Magical Creatures for sure." said Draco. "The teacher, Kettleburn, is really good according to father."

"Divination." said one of the older students. "An easy O."

"Muggle Studies." joked Greg.

"WHAT!" Hermione shrieked. "That subject is outdated, biased, completely stupid, and useless! Unless you guys are going to live in the muggle world, that subject is dumb!"

"Arithmancy is really good, and so is Ancient Runes." said Elan.

"But those are the two hardest electives." said Hermione worried.

"Yes." he grimaced. "It's really hard to keep up with them both."

"Come on Hermione." Draco whined.

"Divination is stupid." she snapped, before huffing off to Potions lessons.

"Miss Granger, did you know that 3rd years are allowed three electives which can be narrowed down to two by their fourth year." said Professor Snape as Hermione added shredded boomslang skin to her potion. Wheels turning in her mind, Hermione finished the potion and raced off.

"Will you do it?" Draco asked with a bounce.

"Fine." she grumbled, and she checked COMC, Divination, and Ancient Runes off.

"Why Ancient Runes?" Pansy asked.

"I was reading," Hermione explained, before being interrupted.

"Of course you were.'' Blaise said, rolling his eyes, and with a glare, Hermione whacked him on the arm.

"Jeez woman!" he yelped.

"As I was saying, Ancient Runes are runes that are filled with magic. This means that anyone using them can do magic without setting off the Trace." she said.

"So you'll be able to do magic at home." grinned Daphne.

"Yup." she smirked.