The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.
Parody #12
A Parody of Where's Waldo?
By: The Battle Network series
(Megaman, who has on a red shirt and is wearing a red bobble cap tiptoes by the screen. Seconds later, Protoman walks in.)
Protoman - I have the sudden urge to find a red bobble hat-wearing fruitcake named Waldo.
(Roll, who's dressed like an old man, walks up.)
Protoman - Gasp. Who are you?
Roll - I am Wizard Whitebeard!
Protoman - That's original!
Roll - I know! If you need to find Waldo, you must first locate the most useless of items.
Protoman - Such as?
Roll - Keys, dogs, women, copycats, me, and just people doing stupid-as-hell stuff in general.
Protoman - Sounds like fun!
Roll - It's a good way to waste an hour or two of your life.
Protoman - Alrighty! Let's go! -runs off-
Roll - Douchebag…
Protoman - Whoa! First, I was in the internet. Now I'm in Kansas! My god! I traveled across the world in the time it took to flip a page of a book.
(Insert long awkward silence here.)
Protoman - Anyways…
Booming Voice - Find a man juggling chainsaws.
(In the distance, Protoman hears a man screaming bloody murder.)
Protoman - Alright!
Booming Voice - Find a pickle barrel.
(Within minutes, Protoman finds a barrel made out of pickles.)
Protoman - Alright!
Booming Voice - Find fifteen ashtrays.
Protoman - Okay!
(Two years later…)
Protoman - I only found fourteen!! Can't that count?!
Booming Voice - NO!!
(Two more years later…)
Protoman - Oh, who the hell taped an ashtray to my hair?
(Megaman peeks around the corner, then takes off.)
Protoman - You're mine now, asshole!
(Protoman jumps across the page and winds up in Egypt.)
Protoman - Holy smokes! It happened again!
Booming Voice - Find…
Protoman - Go to Hell…
(Protoman gets struck by lightning.)
Protoman - Yes, oh great and powerful voice of all… speaking… ness…
(Minutes later, Protoman finds the word 'Find'.)
Booming Voice - Find a microphone.
Protoman - In Egypt?
Booming Voice - It's not my problem.
(Two weeks later…)
Protoman - Who's of thought that King Tut was a famous singer in Egyptian Idol?
Booming Voice - Find the severed head of Bob Barker,
Protoman - What?!
(Protoman turns around to an Egyptian auction. One of the items up for bid is Bob Barker's severed head.)
Protoman - Ugh…
Booming Voice - Minutes later…
Protoman - I best be repaid for all of this.
(Protoman jumps the page and finds himself in a navy armada.)
Protoman - Aw hell…
Booming Voice - Find a bucket.
Protoman - Okay…
(Several minutes pass.)
Protoman - No one on this ship has a bucket.
Booming Voice - I SAID FIND A BUCKET!!
Protoman - Ah! Don't kill me!
(After swimming from boat to boat, he finally finds one.)
Booming Voice - Good. Find water.
(Protoman looks into the ocean.)
Booming Voice - Natural spring water!!
Protoman - You asshole!!
(Again, Protoman is forced to swim from boat to boat to find a bottle of spring water.)
Booming Voice - Excellent…
Protoman - When I find Wizard Whatever, I'm going to stab him in the face.
Booming Voice - You do that.
(Protoman jumps across another page and finds himself in a world full of Waldo look-alikes.)
Protoman - Last page already?
Booming Voice - We… uh… have monetary troubles…
Protoman - Right… Well, there's one way to solve this…
(Protoman summons the Elec Sword and begins cutting through the Waldos.)
Waldo #1 - Run! It's a psycho killa!
Waldo #2 - It's-a me, Waldo!
Waldo #3 - Yo queiro mi pantelons!!
Waldo $4 - What's all the fuss aboot, eh?
Protoman - So many cultures… So many Waldos! So little time!!
(Half an hour later, all of the Waldos are either dead or dying.)
Protoman - -panting- Asswankers.
(Megaman pokes his head over Protoman's left shoulder.)
Megaman - Where am I? Am I here…
(Megaman walks to Protoman's right side.)
Megaman - …or am I over here? Or maybe…
(Megaman hides behind Protoman.)
Megaman - …I'm nowhere…
(Protoman stabs Megaman with the sword.)
Protoman - Or maybe you're going to be in the ground for the rest of eternity!
Megaman - Sounds good… -dies-
Roll - Excellent! You've killed Waldo and freed the Earth from a terrible curse.
Protoman - What curse?!
Roll - Millennia ago, Satan made a man so evil, he had to have the most evil of names: Waldo. He sent him to Earth to wander aimlessly for the rest of time and, at random times, he would get people to follow him. They are called Waldo Watchers and they're the bastard children of Satan! The only way to kill them is too…
(Protoman stabs Roll.)
Protoman - That got real boring, real fast.
(MSX walks in.)
Booming Voice - Sorry about the…
(MSX throws a microphone offstage.)
MSX - Sorry about the length of this parody, but there really isn't much to Where's Waldo? to make fun of. Thus, short chapter, but…
Next time: The X series rips on one of the greatest cult classic games of all time.
