Gamer4 in. Nuting. (I spell it tat way in memory of teh Crazy Hand. R.I.P.)
Disclaimer: No! No! NOOOO!
Chapter XI
Empty Rooms and Gunshots
Pit woke up a few minutes later. "Oh, what happened?" he wondered, rubbing his head. Looking up, he saw something that almost made him pass out again, and had made him pass out in the first place.
The Crazy Hand was gone. The ten investigators had left the dead hand right where they'd found him, and he wasn't there anymore. But his glove was. It was sitting there, looking deflated from a lack of occupants, but it was there. Looking nervous, he stuck his hand in the pocket, which was near the wrist, and removed the key. He looked at his watch; 11:25. Thirty-five minutes until midnight. He hurried out.
XXXX
The other nine were sitting next to the door, playing poker with a set of cards Red had happened to find in his pocket. It had been about ten minutes since Pit left: long enough for them all to leave the group for a little to take a look around the mansion and for the others to generously memorize their cards. Pikachu was just coming back, and the Ice Climbers were hurriedly putting his cards back into place. "Man, Pit still hasn't come back?" he asked, sitting down again.
"No. I wonder what's keeping him," Yoshi said, looking at his pitiful hand. A two, a three, a four, a five, and a seven. Only the seven and two were the same suit. It was like the cards were trying to taunt him. He was willing to bet Samus had gotten a Royal Flush in her first hand. It would probably be safer than betting on his own cards.
Just as these thoughts cleared his mind, the angel himself burst in the room, panting slightly. "What the heck took you so long?" Pikachu asked, looking at him.
"Detour," he said, still trying to catch his breath. "Crazy's gone."
"So you didn't get the key?" Lucas asked, sounding disappointed.
"Oh, I got the key," Pit said, handing it to Samus.
"Where was it?" Ness asked.
"In his pocket."
"So Crazy was gone, but his pocket was still there?" Samus asked, looking bewildered.
"Yes!" Pit said. "Someone stole his hand, but left his glove."
"Oh, let's get back in that room," Lucas said. "I can't take it anymore." He took the key, put it in the lock, and turned. Samus led the way into the room.
On entering, one key fact registered in all their minds: the room was empty. The dining room looked exactly the same as when they'd left it, except there was no one there. "What the heck?" Red said, looking around.
"Where is everyone?" the Ice Climbers said, looking around Pit, who they were hiding behind.
"It looks like this room's filled with empty people," Pit said.
"What?" Samus asked, turning to him.
"Don't ask me," Pit said. "I'm not the one writing this story."
Lucas and Ness, meanwhile, were attempting to open the door leading to the entrance of the mansion. "It's locked!" they called back to the others.
"This is weird," Pikachu said. "Where did they all go? I mean, that door's locked, and we were at the other door for almost the whole time we were away. They couldn't have gotten out."
"I don't like this," Lucas said, cowering slightly. "I don't like this at all."
"I like it," Red said, "but I don't understand it."
As this all was happening, they didn't notice that the dragon's head on the wall was having its eyes taken out again.
"Maybe there's another way out," Ness said, starting to feel along the walls. "You know, a secret passage."
"Or a trapdoor!" Lucas said, starting to feel on the floor.
That's when they all heard the laughing. They looked up and noticed the dragon. "Wrong!" came Game-and-Watch's deadpan voice. "There are no secret passages in my mansion."
"What have you done with them, you 2-d jerk?" Red asked, looking up at him.
Game-and-Watch laughed again. "Stumped already. Stupid heroes. Need some clues, Pokemon Trainer?"
"Not from you!" Red said. "I can find my own clues!"
"Well, Link's not here," Pit said, "but if he was, I'm sure he would say something like, 'A Pokemon Trainer who says he finds clues is like a cucoo without wings: he gets nowhere fast.'"
"Shut it!" Red said. "I'm tired of those stupid Aesops."
"Well," the Ice Climbers said, "I bet he would say, 'The man who's tired of Aesops is like-'"
"AAARRRGGGHHH!" Red cried out. "I'm surrounded by idiots!"
"QUIET!" Samus shouted. They all shut up instantly, aside from a, "Holy ****," coming from Lucas.
"So, do you need a hint, Ms. Aran?" the deadpan voice said. Reluctantly, Samus nodded. Game-and-Watch took a deep breath, and recited a poem: "'This ring, no other, is made by the elves, who'd pawn their own mother to get it themselves-'"*
Suddenly, Pikachu cut him off. "Wait, what does this have to do with where the other guests went?"
"Oh, sorry, wrong poem," Game-and-Watch said. They heard a sound of paper being shuffled in the dragon's head, and he spoke again. "'You all mistake what you assume. They never left the dining room. Count the numbers, 1-10. Turn the knob and try again.'" They heard another laugh, and Game-and-Watch left the dragon's head, replacing the eyes.
"What the heck does that mean?" Ness said, looking around. "Of course they left the dining room. Where else would they be?"
"Wait," Yoshi said. "I think I'm starting to get it. He said not to mistake what we assume. Come on, we all need to get back into the hall."
"What are we doing?" Pit asked.
"I get it," Samus said, realizing the truth, too. "We assume that they left somewhere, but Game-and-Watch is saying that they're still here. Into the hall." One by one, they all filed out.
"I still don't see where this is going," Red said.
"Shut the door," Samus said, motioning for him to do so. He obliged.
"Why exactly are we-" Lucas started, but was cut off by Samus, who was counting on her fingers.
"Quiet, please," she said, still counting. "7, 8, 9, 10. Okay, open the door, please, Pit."
Pit, still looking confused, swung the door open. Inside, they saw the other guests. A few of them were pacing around, and others were just sitting and staring around. "Where were you?" Snake asked.
"What do you mean, 'Where were we?'" Pikachu asked. "Where were you?"
"What-a are you-a talking about? We-a never left," Mario said.
"You didn't?" the Ice Climbers asked.
"Well, we weren't supposed to, were we?" Toon Link asked, confused.
"So none of you left?" Lucas asked, moving back to his seat.
"No," Snake said.
"The answer is simple," Link said, standing. They all looked at him. For a moment, everyone was silent.
"Yes?" Sonic asked.
"The answer is simple," Link repeated, "but the question is very hard."
What are you talking about, you stupid Hylian? Lucario asked.
"It's one of his mottos," Zelda said. "'Answers are always simple. It's the questions that are hard.'"
"Passing over that," Meta Knight said, "where was the Crazy Hand?"
"Dead," Samus said. "He was poisoned."
"Oh, poor guy," Kirby said.
"But here's the thing," Yoshi said. "The butcher's knife was missing, even though he was poisoned."
"We came back to tell you, but the doors were locked," Red said.
"I went back to get the key from the hand's pocket," Pit picked up, "but he was gone, with his glove still behind."
"That's insane," Zelda said. "Who'd want to steal a dead, naked hand?"
"I'd tell you," Samus said, "but this fic is only rated T."
"Then we came back here," the Ice Climbers said, "and you were all missing!"
"But then Game-and-Watch came in and told us that you were still here," Ness continued the narrative. "So, we counted to ten and tried the door again, and here you were."
Suddenly, two loud cracks echoed through the house. "What was that?" Toon Link cried out.
"Gunshots!" Meta Knight called out, jumping to his feet.
"Okay," Mario said. "This time, Wario, Link, Fox, Snake and I will go and look in the kitchen."
"What if it was somewhere else?" Ganondorf asked.
"Yeah!" Bowser said. "I think Wolf, Marth, Captain Falcon and I should check the rest of the house."
"Okay," Samus said. "But I think you should all be quick."
One by one, the rest of the guests aside from the original ten left through the kitchen door or the door to the entrance. Lucas went over and sat next to R.O.B. "So, what do you think of all this?" he asked Pit.
"It's confusing, all right," th angel confessed.
*A whole box of cookies to anyone who recognizes this line.
That's all for now. Please R&R, constructive criticism is fine, flames are bad, Gamer4 out.
